Your Momma never told you to develop your own set of affirmations and recite them daily...until you believe them.
About five years ago, I started to develop a set of affirmations to live by. Affirmations are simply positive statements that you can help you make changes in your life or in my case represent my beliefs and who I am. Affirmations can help develop a powerful and positive attitude to life and can be used to manifest change in your life.
As women, we often become influenced by what others think and by what others want us to do. We do not want to disappoint or seem selfish. We want to be agreeable and "nice". Actually ladies...it is not our fault. We are culturally raised to be kind and sweet. Now ladies...I am not saying not to be kind. What I am saying is if we are not careful, our kindness can turn into passiveness...which can turn into becoming someone we are not. One of the ways we can always be true to ourselves and make the best decisions in our lives is to write down affirmations that are representative of who we are and who we wish to be. I found this technique especially helpful when I was going through my divorce. It was a time I was questioning everything about my beliefs, who I was, what I was being told, what others thought of me, who my friends were, who my enemies were, where I was going to live, what I was going to do...and on and on. I came up with twenty affirmations that I began reciting to myself everyday in order to remind myself of the great things about myself that I loved. Ladies...I encourage you to do the same. Post them in your home or in your bathroom mirror. Read them every day until one day...when you are faced with a difficult situationsor someone questions your choices ....you can recite the affirmation that applies and know what to do.
Here is a sample of ten of my affirmations just to give you some ideas.
Ten Affirmative Statements
1. My feelings are real and valuable and, therefore; should be honored by others.
2. I live by my set of morals and values that are not influenced by others.
3. I make decisions about my life that are comfortable to me and my children first and foremost.
4. I know the difference between right and wrong and will not be convinced otherwise.
5. I can handle anything on my own.
6. I do not need anyone to validate my worth or existence.
7. I am a good person worthy of love and respect.
8. I am in control of my life and who comes in it and who goes out of it.
9. I am committed to making my children feel safe and loved at all times.
10. I do not fear other people’s reactions to my decisions.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Are you rhe person you most admire?
Your Momma never told you....if asked the question...Who do you most admire? The answer should be yourself.
I spend a lot of time writing on a computer writing at work. There is often complete silence for hours and hours in my department The only thing you can hear is the people thinking, reading, or writing....all day long. As you can imagine...the quiet can be almost unbearable at times.
For fun, one of my co-workers emailed a survey to all of the employees in my department to generate some excitement and to break up the day. The "Get to Know You" survey consisted of a list of twenty oddball questions designed to let everyone know about each other. "Where is the farthest place you have traveled?" "Ketchup or Mustard?" "What is your favorite movie?" You get the picture. When I took the survey, I found the last question to be the most interesting. "Who do you most admire?"
Ladies....when I came to this question, I put down the first person that came to mind. Me. Ladies, this is not to say I do not admire my mother or father or Maya Angelou...or my friend who fought cancer so bravely. I most certainly do. Ladies....I am just at a point in my life where I can say that I admire all that I am and all that I do each day of the week as a woman, as an ex-wife, as a co-worker, as a mother, as a sister, as a aunt, as a friend, girlfriend, as a lover, and as a mother. I am not perfect by no means but ladies...I can say that I TRY to do my best to do the right thing. I can say that I admire myself for being a fighter and a survivor of all of the things that has happened over the last forty years. I have taken the punches that life can throw...and I am still standing and still enjoying the ride. I know who I am and I like who I am.
When thinking about this question, a young woman came to mind. She spent a lot of time in bed and quite frankly in denial. She said she felt hopeless and powerless. I spent hours talking to this woman. I encouraged her to get help and to get out of her abusive situation. Ladies...I could see in her eyes each time I spoke to her...she did not admire herself at all. Her self esteem was at an all time low and she was overcome with sadness. Ladies...the young woman I am speaking of....is me...many years ago. I thank God to this day...I am no longer that woman.
Ladies....the results of our survey revealed that only one person other person gave the same response I did to that question. Maybe the other forty three people did not want to seem arrogant. Maybe they truly admired their parents (which was the most popular answer) or maybe...the answer "Myself" never even entered their minds.
Ladies...who is the person you most admire? Is it you? Are you even on the list?
Till Next Time Ladies
I spend a lot of time writing on a computer writing at work. There is often complete silence for hours and hours in my department The only thing you can hear is the people thinking, reading, or writing....all day long. As you can imagine...the quiet can be almost unbearable at times.
For fun, one of my co-workers emailed a survey to all of the employees in my department to generate some excitement and to break up the day. The "Get to Know You" survey consisted of a list of twenty oddball questions designed to let everyone know about each other. "Where is the farthest place you have traveled?" "Ketchup or Mustard?" "What is your favorite movie?" You get the picture. When I took the survey, I found the last question to be the most interesting. "Who do you most admire?"
Ladies....when I came to this question, I put down the first person that came to mind. Me. Ladies, this is not to say I do not admire my mother or father or Maya Angelou...or my friend who fought cancer so bravely. I most certainly do. Ladies....I am just at a point in my life where I can say that I admire all that I am and all that I do each day of the week as a woman, as an ex-wife, as a co-worker, as a mother, as a sister, as a aunt, as a friend, girlfriend, as a lover, and as a mother. I am not perfect by no means but ladies...I can say that I TRY to do my best to do the right thing. I can say that I admire myself for being a fighter and a survivor of all of the things that has happened over the last forty years. I have taken the punches that life can throw...and I am still standing and still enjoying the ride. I know who I am and I like who I am.
When thinking about this question, a young woman came to mind. She spent a lot of time in bed and quite frankly in denial. She said she felt hopeless and powerless. I spent hours talking to this woman. I encouraged her to get help and to get out of her abusive situation. Ladies...I could see in her eyes each time I spoke to her...she did not admire herself at all. Her self esteem was at an all time low and she was overcome with sadness. Ladies...the young woman I am speaking of....is me...many years ago. I thank God to this day...I am no longer that woman.
Ladies....the results of our survey revealed that only one person other person gave the same response I did to that question. Maybe the other forty three people did not want to seem arrogant. Maybe they truly admired their parents (which was the most popular answer) or maybe...the answer "Myself" never even entered their minds.
Ladies...who is the person you most admire? Is it you? Are you even on the list?
Till Next Time Ladies
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Signs of an Immature Man
Your Momma never told you the 15 signs that you are with an immature man.
Ladies, don't fall into the false thinking that you can grow up a man. You can grow up a baby...but when you are with a man...the basic teaching has been completed. Someone has already spent eighteen years growing up the man...now you are stuck with the results of that teaching.
If your man is not grown, don't make the mistake that you can reverse, improve, or renew the teaching that occurred over the period of his childhood. Look at who he is and decide...is this an immature man? If he is....run, run, run,....ladies...because you are dating the equivalent of a destructive teenager.
Sign you are dating an immature man.
1. He goes to the bar every week with his friends and gets drunk.
2. His car has an upgraded stereo system, sparkling rims, and custom seating.
3. His idea of a great vacation is going to an amusement park.
4. He plays video games and believes he is winning.
5. He regularly gets in verbal or physical fights with family, friends, his employer, and coworkers.
6. He has a child or children he does not see or pay for.
7. He lies when he thinks he is going to get in trouble.
8. He is unable to have any deep conversations (superficial conversation).
9. He wears his pants on his thighs.
10. He dwells in vivid happy memories of the past.
11. He can not manage money or keep a job.
12. He throws "mantrums" to get what he wants.
13. He spends all his money on gadgets, toys, booze, sports, car upgrades, and electronics.
14. He expects you to clean up his mess.
15. He was funny as hell but now you want him to go to hell.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Ladies, don't fall into the false thinking that you can grow up a man. You can grow up a baby...but when you are with a man...the basic teaching has been completed. Someone has already spent eighteen years growing up the man...now you are stuck with the results of that teaching.
If your man is not grown, don't make the mistake that you can reverse, improve, or renew the teaching that occurred over the period of his childhood. Look at who he is and decide...is this an immature man? If he is....run, run, run,....ladies...because you are dating the equivalent of a destructive teenager.
Sign you are dating an immature man.
1. He goes to the bar every week with his friends and gets drunk.
2. His car has an upgraded stereo system, sparkling rims, and custom seating.
3. His idea of a great vacation is going to an amusement park.
4. He plays video games and believes he is winning.
5. He regularly gets in verbal or physical fights with family, friends, his employer, and coworkers.
6. He has a child or children he does not see or pay for.
7. He lies when he thinks he is going to get in trouble.
8. He is unable to have any deep conversations (superficial conversation).
9. He wears his pants on his thighs.
10. He dwells in vivid happy memories of the past.
11. He can not manage money or keep a job.
12. He throws "mantrums" to get what he wants.
13. He spends all his money on gadgets, toys, booze, sports, car upgrades, and electronics.
14. He expects you to clean up his mess.
15. He was funny as hell but now you want him to go to hell.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Don't Waste Time on Sperm You Will Never Use
Your Momma never told you....don't waste time on sperm you will never use.
I was talking to a single friend of mine that is approaching age 30. She really is in no hurry to get married but does want a family and children. She travels and has a great work life. She is seeing someone but in her words...."What's the rush? Women have children at 40 years old nowadays."
Poor girl...she had bought into the Hollywood myth that it is easy to get pregnant with your FIRST child at 40. Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kelly Preston, Celine Dion....yes....they can have children whenever they want...why? They have plenty of money, resources, time, frozen eggs, egg donors, specialists, surrogates, and sperm donors. And trust me...these women have gone through some heartache as well. I had to give her a wake up call.
Ladies...if you are approaching 30 and are unmarried and want children....wake up....you are approaching the starting line for the Fertility Race. You have to find your sperm...date it...get it down the aisle...and get pregnant with it. WAKE UP...ladies...this takes time.
Now, I was pregnant with my first child at 33 and my second at 35....so ladies...I am not saying it is hopeless....but what I am saying is after 30...it starts getting harder and harder. I myself had one lazy ovary that just stopped producing eggs and blocked tubes. I had to have my tubes flushed (painful) and have sex non stop ....because I only release six eggs in a year...to get my first baby. The whole process took two years but after that...it was smooth sailing...I got pregnant with my second...right away. My body woke up and started producing. I even have friends that have had ANOTHER child in their 40's...but very few if any...had their FIRST child at 40...without a lot of help.
But ladies...what do you do if you are dating a guy....but know in your heart....he is not husband material or father material? My advice....if you are approaching 30....you need to lockdown quality sperm as soon as possible. In other words, don't waste time on sperm you know you will never use. Get rid of a man that has no potential to be the father of your children. That is right ladies...when you get 30...you have to start thinking strategically and logically....find the man you want to be the father of your children...and lockdown the dna. I hate to say it but...when you die...there is no guarantee your man will be there...but your children...they will be there in your life till the end.
If you want a family...if you want a legacy...if you want some part of you left on this earth when you are gone...wake up ladies...and get focused....and find the sperm you need to produce.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I was talking to a single friend of mine that is approaching age 30. She really is in no hurry to get married but does want a family and children. She travels and has a great work life. She is seeing someone but in her words...."What's the rush? Women have children at 40 years old nowadays."
Poor girl...she had bought into the Hollywood myth that it is easy to get pregnant with your FIRST child at 40. Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kelly Preston, Celine Dion....yes....they can have children whenever they want...why? They have plenty of money, resources, time, frozen eggs, egg donors, specialists, surrogates, and sperm donors. And trust me...these women have gone through some heartache as well. I had to give her a wake up call.
Ladies...if you are approaching 30 and are unmarried and want children....wake up....you are approaching the starting line for the Fertility Race. You have to find your sperm...date it...get it down the aisle...and get pregnant with it. WAKE UP...ladies...this takes time.
Now, I was pregnant with my first child at 33 and my second at 35....so ladies...I am not saying it is hopeless....but what I am saying is after 30...it starts getting harder and harder. I myself had one lazy ovary that just stopped producing eggs and blocked tubes. I had to have my tubes flushed (painful) and have sex non stop ....because I only release six eggs in a year...to get my first baby. The whole process took two years but after that...it was smooth sailing...I got pregnant with my second...right away. My body woke up and started producing. I even have friends that have had ANOTHER child in their 40's...but very few if any...had their FIRST child at 40...without a lot of help.
But ladies...what do you do if you are dating a guy....but know in your heart....he is not husband material or father material? My advice....if you are approaching 30....you need to lockdown quality sperm as soon as possible. In other words, don't waste time on sperm you know you will never use. Get rid of a man that has no potential to be the father of your children. That is right ladies...when you get 30...you have to start thinking strategically and logically....find the man you want to be the father of your children...and lockdown the dna. I hate to say it but...when you die...there is no guarantee your man will be there...but your children...they will be there in your life till the end.
If you want a family...if you want a legacy...if you want some part of you left on this earth when you are gone...wake up ladies...and get focused....and find the sperm you need to produce.
Till Next Time Ladies.
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