Your Momma never told you that Aunt Flo keep visiting for most of your life and she will get on your nerves.
This weekend I had yet another visit from Aunt Flo and she got on my last nerves. I actually got sick. I had cramps, migraines and overall felt gloomy....and then I started thinking. Do you know Aunt Flo has been coming to visit for 30 years? Ladies, this is ridiculous. I am so tired of calculating, preparing, and dealing with Aunt Flo...and let's be real...Aunt Flo ain't cheap. I have purchased boxes and boxes of equipment and bottles and bottles of pills to deal with Aunt Flo. I don't understand why the equipment and pills are not covered by health insurance...I mean it is an overall health condition. My goodness I am bleeding for seven days out of every month and I can't get one tampon covered.
Also, I really think women should be given seven days of sick time each month to deal with Aunt Flo. If men had to deal with Aunt Flo....ladies...companies would shut down, vacations days would be trippled, work at home would be the only option, bonuses would be given....etc. We don't get anything and everyone expects us to just keep going and act like everything is ok...well it isn't ok. I am tired and sick from Aunt Flo constantly dropping by every month....sometime early without warning. I have to structure my entire day differently when Aunt Flo shows up but does anyone care. NO!
Ladies, we have gotten so used to dealing with Aunt Flo...we just act like nothing is going on. We still get up to cook and clean. We still take care of the kids. We still go to work...all while we are dealing with Aunt Flo. It just is not fair. Don't we deserve a break when we are dealing with Aunt Flo. Work is one thing but keeping house and running around after children...hey my man can do that.
So ladies....I made a decision. I am no longer pretending that I am fine when Aunt Flo is in town. From now on...when Aunt Flo comes...I make an announcement to my family and my man that she has arrived....and while she is in town...everyone must do their share to make me feel comfortable. I take some days off from housework and lay down. My goodness...enough is enough. I also ask my man for some pampering...which I get. I mean...he certainly does not want to deal with Aunt Flo either. Whatever he can do to make things go smooth while she is here...he does. Ice cream, popsicles, gifts, grocery shopping, vacuuming, grilling, playing with the kids, breakfast in bed...whatever it takes...he just goes with it. And if you don't have a man ladies...cause sometimes they can be more trouble than they are worth....pamper yourself. Hire help...or ask your kids to take care of you...they love to do that....and lay down and watch a good movie.
Ladies...Aunt Flo can go...but until she does....don't stress yourself out and run around acting like nothing is going on. Get your rest, eat right, and relax.
Till Next Time Lades
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Get a Custom Closet
Your Momma never told you that you must have a custom closet.
Ladies, I recently decided to splurge on a custom closet. At the time I bought the closet, I considered it a treat not a necessity but ladies...I was wrong. A custom closet is a must have to organize you life.
I do not have a large closet but it holds everything because every inch of space is now being used to house my clothing and accessories in a neat organized fashion. Ladies...you would not believe this but my life has changed. Ladies, I did not realize how much stress my closet had caused me in the past. I would even ask my children to find my blue shoes...and the poor little things would get on their knees and dig and dig and dig.
Now that I have purchased a custom closet...every day I open the doors to my closet I breathe a sigh of relief. No more digging through the bottom of the closet looking for shoes and then giving up and wearing a different pair. No more scavenging for the perfect bag or hat....I am able to see everything I own without hunting for hours and hours. All of my clothes are organized by colors and hanging on wooden hangers. I am able to see what I have and what I need. Now that I know what I have...I can make the most of it and avoid buying duplicates.
Ladies...take my word for it. Whether you have a big walk in closet or a small closet...get it customized specifically for you. Your closet is where you go to start your day. Imagine opening your closet doors and seeing a perfectly organized space...what a great start to each day.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies, I recently decided to splurge on a custom closet. At the time I bought the closet, I considered it a treat not a necessity but ladies...I was wrong. A custom closet is a must have to organize you life.
I do not have a large closet but it holds everything because every inch of space is now being used to house my clothing and accessories in a neat organized fashion. Ladies...you would not believe this but my life has changed. Ladies, I did not realize how much stress my closet had caused me in the past. I would even ask my children to find my blue shoes...and the poor little things would get on their knees and dig and dig and dig.
Now that I have purchased a custom closet...every day I open the doors to my closet I breathe a sigh of relief. No more digging through the bottom of the closet looking for shoes and then giving up and wearing a different pair. No more scavenging for the perfect bag or hat....I am able to see everything I own without hunting for hours and hours. All of my clothes are organized by colors and hanging on wooden hangers. I am able to see what I have and what I need. Now that I know what I have...I can make the most of it and avoid buying duplicates.
Ladies...take my word for it. Whether you have a big walk in closet or a small closet...get it customized specifically for you. Your closet is where you go to start your day. Imagine opening your closet doors and seeing a perfectly organized space...what a great start to each day.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Too Many Sparks Can Cause a Fire
Your Momma never told you that some sparks cause fires.
A friend of mine recently met a man on a DC cruise of Georgetown. Instantly, she felt "magical sparks" when meeting this man. They spent the entire evening cruise engaged in conversations and "hysterical laughter". After the cruise was over, the walked the streets of Georgetown...stopping in a couple of bars....drinking a few martinis. They ended the evening by exchanging numbers.
Within the next two weeks, the man pursued her relentlessly and she became completely involved quickly. He called her non stop...he sent her gifts at home....he showed up unexpectantly at her job to take her to lunch. At first the attention was welcomed....she had never had a man so "smitten"...but then it began to turn creepy. She went out with me and few other girlfriends on a Friday night...and he showed up at the bar we were at and joined us. He insisted on following her home because it was dark. Needless, to say, the hairs on our heads....weave and all, stood up.
Quickly, we determined this was a stalker. She called if off with the guy but he kept calling and calling and calling.... sometimes until 3 am. She changed her cell phone number and home number but he came by her job pleading for another chance. He would sit outside her house and just watch.
She became frightened and scared to come and go from her home. I insisted she call the police the next time she spotted him outside her home...and she did. When they arrived...he was arrested immediately which was kind of unusual since she did not have a protective order. Come to find out the man had owed back child support, had a suspended license and a domestic violence history.
Ladies...be careful out there...sometimes...to many sparks...can cause a fire.
A friend of mine recently met a man on a DC cruise of Georgetown. Instantly, she felt "magical sparks" when meeting this man. They spent the entire evening cruise engaged in conversations and "hysterical laughter". After the cruise was over, the walked the streets of Georgetown...stopping in a couple of bars....drinking a few martinis. They ended the evening by exchanging numbers.
Within the next two weeks, the man pursued her relentlessly and she became completely involved quickly. He called her non stop...he sent her gifts at home....he showed up unexpectantly at her job to take her to lunch. At first the attention was welcomed....she had never had a man so "smitten"...but then it began to turn creepy. She went out with me and few other girlfriends on a Friday night...and he showed up at the bar we were at and joined us. He insisted on following her home because it was dark. Needless, to say, the hairs on our heads....weave and all, stood up.
Quickly, we determined this was a stalker. She called if off with the guy but he kept calling and calling and calling.... sometimes until 3 am. She changed her cell phone number and home number but he came by her job pleading for another chance. He would sit outside her house and just watch.
She became frightened and scared to come and go from her home. I insisted she call the police the next time she spotted him outside her home...and she did. When they arrived...he was arrested immediately which was kind of unusual since she did not have a protective order. Come to find out the man had owed back child support, had a suspended license and a domestic violence history.
Ladies...be careful out there...sometimes...to many sparks...can cause a fire.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Master Your Fears
Your Momma never told you that your fears are very powerful.
Someone once told me that I have an inviting face....and because of my inviting face...strangers sometimes tell me the story of their lives...without me even asking.
I was at a doctor's office last week when a woman complimented me on my shirt. I told her it was a gift from the man I was seeing...and the sparked a fifteen minute discussion on her man. She told me her man had not gotten her anything in years....he drank...was downright s. After hearing her speak about this man, I asked her if she even liked her man...and she said no...but she did not want to be alone. Where would she live? What would she do? How would she pay for things? Could she be by herself and survive? Would anyone love her?
Ladies..fear can really lead you to make the worse choices....and she had suffered a lot of consequences. She was seeing the doctor for heart palpitations and stress. She looked much older than she really was. She appeared desperate and confused. She was existing but not living. I felt very sad for this woman and encouraged her politely to take better care of herself. But the image of her desperation...has stuck with me. The thing that bothered me the most was that the fear had convinced her that she was stuck...that his was it...that her life was what it was...this man was all she had...and could get.
Ladies...I personally have the same fear of being alone. I have experienced my mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and best friend die. I have less than 10 family member left and that includes me and my children. I can't say I have overcome it...but I do manage it. My fear of being alone will never lead me to be in an abusive relationship.
I know people who fear getting too close to another person because they don't want to get hurt. I know people who fear standing up for themselves because they fear the other person's reaction. I know people who fear being independent or dependent.
Ladies...I wanted to challenged you to find out what your fears are and do all you can to overcome or manage them because fears can lead you to make all types of bad choices.
Till Next Time Ladies
Someone once told me that I have an inviting face....and because of my inviting face...strangers sometimes tell me the story of their lives...without me even asking.
I was at a doctor's office last week when a woman complimented me on my shirt. I told her it was a gift from the man I was seeing...and the sparked a fifteen minute discussion on her man. She told me her man had not gotten her anything in years....he drank...was downright s. After hearing her speak about this man, I asked her if she even liked her man...and she said no...but she did not want to be alone. Where would she live? What would she do? How would she pay for things? Could she be by herself and survive? Would anyone love her?
Ladies..fear can really lead you to make the worse choices....and she had suffered a lot of consequences. She was seeing the doctor for heart palpitations and stress. She looked much older than she really was. She appeared desperate and confused. She was existing but not living. I felt very sad for this woman and encouraged her politely to take better care of herself. But the image of her desperation...has stuck with me. The thing that bothered me the most was that the fear had convinced her that she was stuck...that his was it...that her life was what it was...this man was all she had...and could get.
Ladies...I personally have the same fear of being alone. I have experienced my mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and best friend die. I have less than 10 family member left and that includes me and my children. I can't say I have overcome it...but I do manage it. My fear of being alone will never lead me to be in an abusive relationship.
I know people who fear getting too close to another person because they don't want to get hurt. I know people who fear standing up for themselves because they fear the other person's reaction. I know people who fear being independent or dependent.
Ladies...I wanted to challenged you to find out what your fears are and do all you can to overcome or manage them because fears can lead you to make all types of bad choices.
Till Next Time Ladies
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Celebrate the Days
Your Momma never told you to celebrate the days when you have perfect balance.
Ladies, there is nothing like waking up and having what I call a perfect balance day. It is a day when the following things exist in your life.
A Day of Balance
You are mentally and physically healthy.
You are safe and secure in a home.
You have no financial problems.
Your family is physically and mentally healthy.
No one close to you has committed a crime or is in jail.
You are not grieving anything or anyone.
You have someone to love and who loves you.
When these things exist all in one day....celebrate ladies....because they don't come around too often. Life can throw you so many twist and turns and heartache that you have learn to recognize and celebrate when things are in balance. Sometimes you will have a few of these days clumped together in what I call a "Blessed Season". Whenever I have one of these days or a blessed season, I try to remember to celebrate and not take them for granted. Sometimes I play music and dance or decorate the house with balloons or have an ice cream party with the kids. It does not have to be big...but ladies...don't take these days for granted....learn to celebrate when you are experiencing a "day of balance".
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies, there is nothing like waking up and having what I call a perfect balance day. It is a day when the following things exist in your life.
A Day of Balance
You are mentally and physically healthy.
You are safe and secure in a home.
You have no financial problems.
Your family is physically and mentally healthy.
No one close to you has committed a crime or is in jail.
You are not grieving anything or anyone.
You have someone to love and who loves you.
When these things exist all in one day....celebrate ladies....because they don't come around too often. Life can throw you so many twist and turns and heartache that you have learn to recognize and celebrate when things are in balance. Sometimes you will have a few of these days clumped together in what I call a "Blessed Season". Whenever I have one of these days or a blessed season, I try to remember to celebrate and not take them for granted. Sometimes I play music and dance or decorate the house with balloons or have an ice cream party with the kids. It does not have to be big...but ladies...don't take these days for granted....learn to celebrate when you are experiencing a "day of balance".
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Genie Complex
Your Momma never told you...beware of the Genie Complex.
There used to be an old TV show called I dream a Jeannie. Jeannie was a beautiful genie who lived in a little bottle. She would blink her eyes and pop out of the bottle when her Master named Tony called for her. When she came out...she would grant him his every wish. I used to love this show but looking back on it....I don't recall Jeannie every wanting anything but to make Tony happy and make his dreams come true. I mean..she lived in a bottle for goodness sake...she did not work or have children...she did not have bills or go to school. All she did all day was chase Tony around trying to make him happy.
Ladies, I think sometimes, men think when they go to the alter, they are acquiring a genie. A woman that will look beautiful every day...with the perfect figure...and perfect makeup...who pops around the house making everything perfect. A woman who will grant his every wish...all the days of her life....and ladies...some of us women...believe this is our role also. Ladies, we have all seen an independent woman acquire what I call the Jeannie complex when they get married...even when they are dating. Suddenly, the woman's dreams and desires magical transform into whatever her man wants.
A friend of mine wanted to stay home with her newborn for six months. If her husband and her sacraficed just a little, they could easily survive without her income...unfortunately her husband insisted on her going back to work. He felt women should work....so her thoughts and desires were just ignored...and she of course complied. Another friend of mine wanted to get her hairbraided in a certain style but her husband did not like braided hair. He insisted she keep her hair straight because that is how he liked it...so of course she did. Another friend of mine had a man who wanted his own business...he simply did not want to work an office job...so she took out all of her savings to start his business. Eventually, she spent all her days and nights trying to keep the business afloat...while he...simply watched her. She wanted to support and honor her husband's dreams....I mean...she was his wife or should I say genie. I had a man tell me he wanted a dog...but I was allergic to dogs...so what did I do...buy him a german shepard and sneeze uncontrollably.
Ladies...I am not saying don't please your man...but make sure you don't loose your dreams, desires, health, and mind doing so. Let's face...genies don't exists....partnerships and marriages do.
There used to be an old TV show called I dream a Jeannie. Jeannie was a beautiful genie who lived in a little bottle. She would blink her eyes and pop out of the bottle when her Master named Tony called for her. When she came out...she would grant him his every wish. I used to love this show but looking back on it....I don't recall Jeannie every wanting anything but to make Tony happy and make his dreams come true. I mean..she lived in a bottle for goodness sake...she did not work or have children...she did not have bills or go to school. All she did all day was chase Tony around trying to make him happy.
Ladies, I think sometimes, men think when they go to the alter, they are acquiring a genie. A woman that will look beautiful every day...with the perfect figure...and perfect makeup...who pops around the house making everything perfect. A woman who will grant his every wish...all the days of her life....and ladies...some of us women...believe this is our role also. Ladies, we have all seen an independent woman acquire what I call the Jeannie complex when they get married...even when they are dating. Suddenly, the woman's dreams and desires magical transform into whatever her man wants.
A friend of mine wanted to stay home with her newborn for six months. If her husband and her sacraficed just a little, they could easily survive without her income...unfortunately her husband insisted on her going back to work. He felt women should work....so her thoughts and desires were just ignored...and she of course complied. Another friend of mine wanted to get her hairbraided in a certain style but her husband did not like braided hair. He insisted she keep her hair straight because that is how he liked it...so of course she did. Another friend of mine had a man who wanted his own business...he simply did not want to work an office job...so she took out all of her savings to start his business. Eventually, she spent all her days and nights trying to keep the business afloat...while he...simply watched her. She wanted to support and honor her husband's dreams....I mean...she was his wife or should I say genie. I had a man tell me he wanted a dog...but I was allergic to dogs...so what did I do...buy him a german shepard and sneeze uncontrollably.
Ladies...I am not saying don't please your man...but make sure you don't loose your dreams, desires, health, and mind doing so. Let's face...genies don't exists....partnerships and marriages do.
Monday, August 16, 2010
It's Mine
Your Momma never told you...don't marry someone who does not know how to share.
Ladies..I was surprised to find out that everyone does not have the ability to share. I thought this skill was taught very early on...at 2 - 5 years of age...but sadly...I was wrong. There are many men out there that simply can not and will not share. Now, like me, you may not have placed a lot of emphasis on finding out if someone can share. You may have just assumed, like me, everyone has the ability...but ladies..you have to test your man to see if he can share. If he fails the tests, run...run....because if he did not learn it at age 3...he won't learn it at age 30. Here are a few test to try.
1. If you are out to dinner, ask your man if you can have a taste of his food. (For example, a piece of his dessert) If he says, hey why don't I just order you one....ring, ring, ring...pick up the clue phone...He does not share.
2. Ask your man to borrow his umbrella for a future rain event. Tell him it is supposed to rain later that day or the following day. If he refuses or tells you to buy one on the way home...watch out...he can not share.
3. Tell your man your car is disabled and you need to borrow his car for a few hours. If he refuses, insists your rent a car, makes up excuses for you not to drive it, or rearranges his schedule so he can drive you around...watch out....he may not be able to share. Now, ladies I realize a car is a big one...but hey, this is your man. If he won't share his ride...you have a problem.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies..I was surprised to find out that everyone does not have the ability to share. I thought this skill was taught very early on...at 2 - 5 years of age...but sadly...I was wrong. There are many men out there that simply can not and will not share. Now, like me, you may not have placed a lot of emphasis on finding out if someone can share. You may have just assumed, like me, everyone has the ability...but ladies..you have to test your man to see if he can share. If he fails the tests, run...run....because if he did not learn it at age 3...he won't learn it at age 30. Here are a few test to try.
1. If you are out to dinner, ask your man if you can have a taste of his food. (For example, a piece of his dessert) If he says, hey why don't I just order you one....ring, ring, ring...pick up the clue phone...He does not share.
2. Ask your man to borrow his umbrella for a future rain event. Tell him it is supposed to rain later that day or the following day. If he refuses or tells you to buy one on the way home...watch out...he can not share.
3. Tell your man your car is disabled and you need to borrow his car for a few hours. If he refuses, insists your rent a car, makes up excuses for you not to drive it, or rearranges his schedule so he can drive you around...watch out....he may not be able to share. Now, ladies I realize a car is a big one...but hey, this is your man. If he won't share his ride...you have a problem.
Till Next Time Ladies
Friday, August 13, 2010
Our House Is Not on Fire
Your Momma never told you....know when your house is on fire and when it is not.
In the past two weeks, I have been dealing with a number of family issues. These issues deal with a nutty ex and a nutty ex – in law. Without getting into the whole story, let’s just say neither is behaving at their best. My family and I have been upset by this behavior and complaining about our problems to one another. We really began to wallow in our problems and let them over take us. We kept saying could it get any worse?….and wouldn’t you know….God answered….oh yes it can be worse. I was shown in two instances how my problems could be a whole lot worse.
First, at a prayer meeting I attended recently, many people stood up to ask for prayer. Some were sick, some were dealing with a death in the family, one person’s brother had been murdered, another woman had lost her home and her job and had been diagnosed with a serious illness…it was really overwhelming. When you hear people such despair…it really put my problems…or so called problems in perspective. After hearing everyone speak, I was embarrassed to stand up and talk about my problem As a matter of fact, I was no longer upset about my problem but thankful for my problem. Now ladies….it was a problem…don’t get me wrong…but compared to the life fires that I had just heard about...it was something I could handle.
Second, the other day we awoke to a terrible thunderstorm. Lightning and thunder were crashing all around our house….the kids were scared but I assured them we were in our house and we were safe. Just then lightning hit the house across the street. In minutes, the house was engulfed in flames and burned straight to the ground. (It was vacant and for sale). The kids became panicked and swore our house was going to burn down too….and to be honest…I went into a panic myself. I started dialing 911 and running around in circles. It really was not my best "calm" Mommy moment. My daughter fell to her knees and began praying to the Lord to save us….even though our house was not on fire. She thought lightning was going to strike again…and that we were next. I went to her and told her to thank the Lord...because we were safe. I calmed every down including myself… as I realized….our house was NOT on fire…in other words…we were fine. I assured my children that we had a blanket of protection around us and we were safe.
As I drove to work later that day...I started to think what if our house had burned down....what would have been lost, where would we have gone, what would we have done. Ladies, I learned real quick to be thankful for my problems....because it could be a lot worse. I was shown that we really had no problems….in an instant we could have lost our home, our belongings, and most important each other….in an instant we could loose our health or be a victim of crime but as of today….we were fine. After those experiences, I thanked God for the problems I had….because in comparison to how it could be….we were doing just fine....and our house is NOT on fire.
Till Next Time Ladies.
In the past two weeks, I have been dealing with a number of family issues. These issues deal with a nutty ex and a nutty ex – in law. Without getting into the whole story, let’s just say neither is behaving at their best. My family and I have been upset by this behavior and complaining about our problems to one another. We really began to wallow in our problems and let them over take us. We kept saying could it get any worse?….and wouldn’t you know….God answered….oh yes it can be worse. I was shown in two instances how my problems could be a whole lot worse.
First, at a prayer meeting I attended recently, many people stood up to ask for prayer. Some were sick, some were dealing with a death in the family, one person’s brother had been murdered, another woman had lost her home and her job and had been diagnosed with a serious illness…it was really overwhelming. When you hear people such despair…it really put my problems…or so called problems in perspective. After hearing everyone speak, I was embarrassed to stand up and talk about my problem As a matter of fact, I was no longer upset about my problem but thankful for my problem. Now ladies….it was a problem…don’t get me wrong…but compared to the life fires that I had just heard about...it was something I could handle.
Second, the other day we awoke to a terrible thunderstorm. Lightning and thunder were crashing all around our house….the kids were scared but I assured them we were in our house and we were safe. Just then lightning hit the house across the street. In minutes, the house was engulfed in flames and burned straight to the ground. (It was vacant and for sale). The kids became panicked and swore our house was going to burn down too….and to be honest…I went into a panic myself. I started dialing 911 and running around in circles. It really was not my best "calm" Mommy moment. My daughter fell to her knees and began praying to the Lord to save us….even though our house was not on fire. She thought lightning was going to strike again…and that we were next. I went to her and told her to thank the Lord...because we were safe. I calmed every down including myself… as I realized….our house was NOT on fire…in other words…we were fine. I assured my children that we had a blanket of protection around us and we were safe.
As I drove to work later that day...I started to think what if our house had burned down....what would have been lost, where would we have gone, what would we have done. Ladies, I learned real quick to be thankful for my problems....because it could be a lot worse. I was shown that we really had no problems….in an instant we could have lost our home, our belongings, and most important each other….in an instant we could loose our health or be a victim of crime but as of today….we were fine. After those experiences, I thanked God for the problems I had….because in comparison to how it could be….we were doing just fine....and our house is NOT on fire.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Don't go broke trying to fix a man
Your Momma never told you...don't go broke trying to fix a man.
A friend of mine married what appeared to be a great guy. He owned his own business and made a fantastic living. The problem was he could not manage his money. He spent and spent and spent. She would go to write checks they would bounce...or go to get cash... only for the ATM to read...no funds available. Her husband would spend money like water so she never knew what was available on a day to day basis.
Eventually, they got into financial trouble because her husband had maxed out the credit cards at $15000 - $20000 a pop. Even though they were both working, they were not making enough to cover his wild spending. My friend spent hours every night going over the books...coming up with ways to make more money...she sold clothes...she got a second job...she got her real estate license and sold houses...she even gathered up change to go to Coinstar...all to get cash. She signed them up for seminars...she spent money on a financial planner....she depleted her 401 K in attempts to get him back on track. Ladies...it worked for a short while...but within six months....the credit cards were maxed out again...and again and again. Shall I say more. It got to the point she wanted to get out of the relationship...but they had so much debt together and all her savings was gone...she could not afford to leave. She had married...a money pit.
My point ladies...when you are with a financially irresponsible person...watch out. The more money you spend trying to fix a man...the more problems the man will have. The more money you pour into him...the more money he will require. It will never end. When you recognize you are with a financially irresponsible person...don't use your money to fix a broke man....because in the end...you will be the broke woman...and then who is going to help you.
Till Next Time Ladies
A friend of mine married what appeared to be a great guy. He owned his own business and made a fantastic living. The problem was he could not manage his money. He spent and spent and spent. She would go to write checks they would bounce...or go to get cash... only for the ATM to read...no funds available. Her husband would spend money like water so she never knew what was available on a day to day basis.
Eventually, they got into financial trouble because her husband had maxed out the credit cards at $15000 - $20000 a pop. Even though they were both working, they were not making enough to cover his wild spending. My friend spent hours every night going over the books...coming up with ways to make more money...she sold clothes...she got a second job...she got her real estate license and sold houses...she even gathered up change to go to Coinstar...all to get cash. She signed them up for seminars...she spent money on a financial planner....she depleted her 401 K in attempts to get him back on track. Ladies...it worked for a short while...but within six months....the credit cards were maxed out again...and again and again. Shall I say more. It got to the point she wanted to get out of the relationship...but they had so much debt together and all her savings was gone...she could not afford to leave. She had married...a money pit.
My point ladies...when you are with a financially irresponsible person...watch out. The more money you spend trying to fix a man...the more problems the man will have. The more money you pour into him...the more money he will require. It will never end. When you recognize you are with a financially irresponsible person...don't use your money to fix a broke man....because in the end...you will be the broke woman...and then who is going to help you.
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The Lesson of Bubbles The Goldfish
Your Momma never told you....
Ladies...I had a cookout this weekend with friends and family. Janie, a friend of my daughter's was one of the guest. Janie, is a very strong willed sneaky child. She can be very sweet but she has to be watched at all times. During the cookout, I noticed my daughter and Janie were nowhere in sight. I went to my daughter's room and there they were. Janie, had decided she wanted to play with Bubbles, my daughter's goldfish. Janie, had Bubble's in her hands and was playing with him like he was a marble.
"Put that fish back in the bowl!" I squealed. Janie complied. I sent Janie to go wash her hands and to go back downstairs with the other guest. My daughter remained behind. I sat my daughter down and asked her why on earth she would allow Janie to play with her fish...out of the bowl. I explained Bubbles could have been injured or could have lost a fin. Looking at Bubbles...it was clear Bubbles was traumatized as he shook in one place in the bowl.
My daughter said she told Janie "NO" but Janie insisted. And ladies...this is where it starts. This is when some young girls learn NO does not necessarily mean NO to some people. I explained to my daughter that when she says NO that it should be respected...and if someone does not respect your NO...they are not a friend. Moreover, I insisted she learn to stand up for herself because there will be plenty of times she will run into people who will test her "NO"...and in the case of Bubbles...she did not step up and protect him or her property.
Ladies...I was so thankful I was there to teach this lesson to my daughter early...and I fully intend on helping her grow a backbone now...and learn to say NO and mean it. It is best she learn the power of NO now and not when a boy has her in the back of car...and baby makes three.
Ladies....look for opportunities to give life lessons to your children early before...real consequences can occur.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Ladies...I had a cookout this weekend with friends and family. Janie, a friend of my daughter's was one of the guest. Janie, is a very strong willed sneaky child. She can be very sweet but she has to be watched at all times. During the cookout, I noticed my daughter and Janie were nowhere in sight. I went to my daughter's room and there they were. Janie, had decided she wanted to play with Bubbles, my daughter's goldfish. Janie, had Bubble's in her hands and was playing with him like he was a marble.
"Put that fish back in the bowl!" I squealed. Janie complied. I sent Janie to go wash her hands and to go back downstairs with the other guest. My daughter remained behind. I sat my daughter down and asked her why on earth she would allow Janie to play with her fish...out of the bowl. I explained Bubbles could have been injured or could have lost a fin. Looking at Bubbles...it was clear Bubbles was traumatized as he shook in one place in the bowl.
My daughter said she told Janie "NO" but Janie insisted. And ladies...this is where it starts. This is when some young girls learn NO does not necessarily mean NO to some people. I explained to my daughter that when she says NO that it should be respected...and if someone does not respect your NO...they are not a friend. Moreover, I insisted she learn to stand up for herself because there will be plenty of times she will run into people who will test her "NO"...and in the case of Bubbles...she did not step up and protect him or her property.
Ladies...I was so thankful I was there to teach this lesson to my daughter early...and I fully intend on helping her grow a backbone now...and learn to say NO and mean it. It is best she learn the power of NO now and not when a boy has her in the back of car...and baby makes three.
Ladies....look for opportunities to give life lessons to your children early before...real consequences can occur.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Friday, August 6, 2010
Hair Today Gone Tomorrow
Your Momma did not tell you to treat your hair like an accessory.
I am known for changing my hairstyle regularly. In fact, my companion says he feels like he is dating several women because of my different looks. At work, my co-workers are amazed at the different styles I sport. Short one day...long the next...they never know what I am going to look like each day. I treat my hair likc an accessory...and I dress it up or dress it down...depending on my mood.
One day my co-worker who was battling cancer at the time approached me. She was wearing a terrible old wig because she was embarrassed about her hair loss. She told me she had cut her hair short but was not sure if she should take off her wig. She was worried what people would think of her hair. She came to me because she saw me with so many differnt styles...hair pieces, wigs, extensions...whatever. She wanted my opinion as well as what she called..."my courage".
I told her..."Joan...you are in the midst of a health crisis...who cares about your hair. Take off the wig and wear your hair like you want too."
I told her if she wanted to wear a wig one day and take it off the next...it was up to her. I told her to think of her hair as an accessory...you can change it whenever you want. I told her now was the time to have the hair she always wanted...long black, curly red, medium blond...whatever. I encouraged her to do what she felt best doing...and not to worry about other people. I certainly don't!
The next week, Joan, took off her wig and revealed a cute pixie blond style. Honestly, Joan looked 15 years younger. Everyone told Joan how great she looked and you could see she was feeling very good about herself. She told me she had purchased another updated wig for special occasions.
My point ladies...we live in a time where you can where your hair however you want. If you want long hair, short hair, brown hair, red hair, curly hair, straight hair...you can have it. Ladies...if you don't like your hair...change it....and if you have had the same style for over two years...it's time for a new look. Think of your hair as an accessory and have fun with it.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I am known for changing my hairstyle regularly. In fact, my companion says he feels like he is dating several women because of my different looks. At work, my co-workers are amazed at the different styles I sport. Short one day...long the next...they never know what I am going to look like each day. I treat my hair likc an accessory...and I dress it up or dress it down...depending on my mood.
One day my co-worker who was battling cancer at the time approached me. She was wearing a terrible old wig because she was embarrassed about her hair loss. She told me she had cut her hair short but was not sure if she should take off her wig. She was worried what people would think of her hair. She came to me because she saw me with so many differnt styles...hair pieces, wigs, extensions...whatever. She wanted my opinion as well as what she called..."my courage".
I told her..."Joan...you are in the midst of a health crisis...who cares about your hair. Take off the wig and wear your hair like you want too."
I told her if she wanted to wear a wig one day and take it off the next...it was up to her. I told her to think of her hair as an accessory...you can change it whenever you want. I told her now was the time to have the hair she always wanted...long black, curly red, medium blond...whatever. I encouraged her to do what she felt best doing...and not to worry about other people. I certainly don't!
The next week, Joan, took off her wig and revealed a cute pixie blond style. Honestly, Joan looked 15 years younger. Everyone told Joan how great she looked and you could see she was feeling very good about herself. She told me she had purchased another updated wig for special occasions.
My point ladies...we live in a time where you can where your hair however you want. If you want long hair, short hair, brown hair, red hair, curly hair, straight hair...you can have it. Ladies...if you don't like your hair...change it....and if you have had the same style for over two years...it's time for a new look. Think of your hair as an accessory and have fun with it.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Don't Make Decisions Out of Fear
Your Momma never told the worse decisions you will ever make are the ones you make out of fear.
I went to a prayer meeting at my church last Tuesday. I normally only go to Sunday service but I had a number of problems that I needed to deal with. During the service, a woman stood up and talked about a "saying" she had seen on the side of a truck...Courage is fear that has said it's prayers. She spoke about what she was going through and how this message had helped her on that particular day...and she wondered...was it a message from God.
I wrote down the saying and began to meditate on it. For some reason, I could not get it out of my head....then I realized. The majority of the bad decisions I have made over the years is out of my own fears. Fears of being rejected, fears of being alone, fears of not being able to make it on my own, fears of losing someone, fears of what others will think, fears someone will get mad at me, fears of disappointing, fears of not being good enough, fear of not getting married or having children...I could go on and on.
Over the last five years, I was forced to face most of these fears because of my divorce...I was forced to be on my own, I was forced to do what others did not approve of, I was forced to start over, I was forced to take care of business, I was forced...truly...to grow up. As a result, over the last five years...I have grown tremendously in wisdom, in confidence and in strength. I have learned to make decisions based on faith as opposed to making decisions out of fear. I make courageous decisions as opposed to desperate ones.
So....my point ladies...when you make decisions out of fear....you are reacting on emotions...and that is never good. Learn to make courageous decisions based on your knowledge of you...what you want...what you prefer...what you know to be good for you. You will find they will be the best decisions you will ever make.
Till next time ladies.
I went to a prayer meeting at my church last Tuesday. I normally only go to Sunday service but I had a number of problems that I needed to deal with. During the service, a woman stood up and talked about a "saying" she had seen on the side of a truck...Courage is fear that has said it's prayers. She spoke about what she was going through and how this message had helped her on that particular day...and she wondered...was it a message from God.
I wrote down the saying and began to meditate on it. For some reason, I could not get it out of my head....then I realized. The majority of the bad decisions I have made over the years is out of my own fears. Fears of being rejected, fears of being alone, fears of not being able to make it on my own, fears of losing someone, fears of what others will think, fears someone will get mad at me, fears of disappointing, fears of not being good enough, fear of not getting married or having children...I could go on and on.
Over the last five years, I was forced to face most of these fears because of my divorce...I was forced to be on my own, I was forced to do what others did not approve of, I was forced to start over, I was forced to take care of business, I was forced...truly...to grow up. As a result, over the last five years...I have grown tremendously in wisdom, in confidence and in strength. I have learned to make decisions based on faith as opposed to making decisions out of fear. I make courageous decisions as opposed to desperate ones.
So....my point ladies...when you make decisions out of fear....you are reacting on emotions...and that is never good. Learn to make courageous decisions based on your knowledge of you...what you want...what you prefer...what you know to be good for you. You will find they will be the best decisions you will ever make.
Till next time ladies.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Be an FBI Agent
Your Momma never told you....when it comes to dating...you have to be a FBI agent.
Ladies....today's dating scene is scary to say the least. With the internet, diseases, crazies walking the streets, hidden children, hidden wives...let's face it...you just don't know what you may be dealing with. Unfortunately, it is left up to us ladies...to do our own investigation on our man.
A friend of mine just gave me one of the best tools to complete an investigation on your man. Go to the link below and find out if your man has had any run ins with the law or the legal system. Ladies...this link (for Maryland only) will allow you to check if your man has had a traffic violation, sex violation, or a criminal violation. You can tell if is in the middle of a divorce...or is actually divorced. You can tell if he has drug problems or financial problems....all from looking at his civil and criminal records.
Go now ladies..investigate your man. If you are in another state...locate your state link. Know what you are dealing with before getting too involved.
CLICK HERE: www.courts.state.md.us/ courtrecords.html
Till next time ladies.
Ladies....today's dating scene is scary to say the least. With the internet, diseases, crazies walking the streets, hidden children, hidden wives...let's face it...you just don't know what you may be dealing with. Unfortunately, it is left up to us ladies...to do our own investigation on our man.
A friend of mine just gave me one of the best tools to complete an investigation on your man. Go to the link below and find out if your man has had any run ins with the law or the legal system. Ladies...this link (for Maryland only) will allow you to check if your man has had a traffic violation, sex violation, or a criminal violation. You can tell if is in the middle of a divorce...or is actually divorced. You can tell if he has drug problems or financial problems....all from looking at his civil and criminal records.
Go now ladies..investigate your man. If you are in another state...locate your state link. Know what you are dealing with before getting too involved.
CLICK HERE: www.courts.state.md.us/ courtrecords.html
Till next time ladies.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Skinny B
Your Momma never told you don't let anyone call you a SKINNY BITCH!
When I was in my 20's I went to a comedy show in downtown Baltimore. The headliner was Monique. I was there with a striking date who was full of himself...so wouldn't you know it...Monique spotted him in the crowd. "Hey good looking" she said to him...."Who are you here with?" shaking her hips. I could see his head beginning to grow even larger in size right before my eyes as Monique began to flirt with him.
He gestured towards me and Monique said...."You are here with that SKINNY BITCH! You need a real woman that got some meat on her like me." Everyone laughed but me because I knew what was coming. For the rest of the two hours, the SKINNY BITCH (Me) was the bud of every joke. "STAND UP SKINNY BITCH!" She yelled throughout the show. "SKINNY BITCH! SKINNY BITCH!" ...all night long. My date...just laughed and enjoyed the off and on flirting by Monique. I on the other hand, was humiliated. To this day...when anyone mentions Monique...I can hear the echo of her voice yelling "SKINNY BITCH!SKINNY BITCH!" And for the record...I did not see Precious...or any other movie she was in...except for Two Can Play That Game because I love Morris Chestnut.
Anyway ladies...I learned two things from that evening. If you don't like how you are being treated...even at a comedy show...get up and go home. I did not like being called SKINNY BITCH over 30 times...and I did not like my date laughing and flirting all night....but at the time I was young with no self esteem...so I suffered and took the abuse. That is right ladies...I put myself through suffering...I could have just left.
The second lesson I learned is to stand up for myself. Ladies...I would never suggest taking on a professional comedian...but I sure could have given a verbal lashing to my date. Ladies...if a man does not defend you when you are taking verbal abuse or are simply uncomfortable...which is what this was...you know where you stand on the respect chain....and let's face it...he was treating me like a "SKINNY BITCH".
Till Next Time Ladies.
When I was in my 20's I went to a comedy show in downtown Baltimore. The headliner was Monique. I was there with a striking date who was full of himself...so wouldn't you know it...Monique spotted him in the crowd. "Hey good looking" she said to him...."Who are you here with?" shaking her hips. I could see his head beginning to grow even larger in size right before my eyes as Monique began to flirt with him.
He gestured towards me and Monique said...."You are here with that SKINNY BITCH! You need a real woman that got some meat on her like me." Everyone laughed but me because I knew what was coming. For the rest of the two hours, the SKINNY BITCH (Me) was the bud of every joke. "STAND UP SKINNY BITCH!" She yelled throughout the show. "SKINNY BITCH! SKINNY BITCH!" ...all night long. My date...just laughed and enjoyed the off and on flirting by Monique. I on the other hand, was humiliated. To this day...when anyone mentions Monique...I can hear the echo of her voice yelling "SKINNY BITCH!SKINNY BITCH!" And for the record...I did not see Precious...or any other movie she was in...except for Two Can Play That Game because I love Morris Chestnut.
Anyway ladies...I learned two things from that evening. If you don't like how you are being treated...even at a comedy show...get up and go home. I did not like being called SKINNY BITCH over 30 times...and I did not like my date laughing and flirting all night....but at the time I was young with no self esteem...so I suffered and took the abuse. That is right ladies...I put myself through suffering...I could have just left.
The second lesson I learned is to stand up for myself. Ladies...I would never suggest taking on a professional comedian...but I sure could have given a verbal lashing to my date. Ladies...if a man does not defend you when you are taking verbal abuse or are simply uncomfortable...which is what this was...you know where you stand on the respect chain....and let's face it...he was treating me like a "SKINNY BITCH".
Till Next Time Ladies.
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