Your Momma never told you to dance your way to happiness.
I recently attended a stress relief seminar at work.. One of the major things that caused me stress in the morning was trying to get my kids up and moving at a quick pace. The stressful routine started with me going to their rooms each morning and saying…”Time to get up.” I would say this in a nice way the first three times and then I would begin to get angrier and angrier every time I repeated the phrase. By the tenth time of saying “Time to get up”, I would be on the brink of screaming. I would then recite a list to my kids of all the things I had to do that morning to get them to school and to get myself to work. I would start to panic that I was going to be late to work and lose my job. Then, I would imagine we had no money and I would go through my emergency plans in my mind of how I would make ends meet. I would spiral into a full blown anxiety attack and while all of this was going on…my kids would still be laying in the bed with the covers over their heads.
Let’s face it ladies..this was not working so I decided to make the change. One of the suggestions the speaker suggested to reduce stress was to dance every day for at least 10 minutes. After attending the seminar, I decided to implement a morning dance into my morning routine. I went home that day and downloaded upbeat hip hop songs to my Ipod and played them in the next morning. I put on my old college favorite...The Show…by Doug E Fresh and immediately began to dance in the kitchen. My mood completely changed...I normally dreaded the mornings...but this particular day I was happy and excited. I was jamming and dancing while cooking breakfast….having a good time. Within a matter of minutes a little face appeared with a big smile on her face. Then the second little face appeared and next thing I knew my daughters and I were having a morning dance party in the kitchen. We even got the dog to join in with us. That is right…I did not even half to say a word to my children. They came to join the party.
Now, each morning....dancing has became a fun start to the day. We dance and laugh every morning for about 10 to 15 minutes…and then we dance our way to our rooms to get dressed.
Ladies…I am more relaxed and excited about the day since I have begun dancing in the morning. My children are happier and look forward to hearing what I am going to play the next day. Ladies…I challenge you to try dancing in the morning, dancing with your children, and dancing with your spouse or significant other on a regular basis. I guaranteed you will feel happy and more relaxed each day.
Till next time ladies
Monday, March 14, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Man Made Chaos
Your Momma never told you that a man can cause your life to be full of chaos.
Ladies…Have you ever been the victim of man made chaos? You know what I am talking about. Everything is going fine in your life and then a man comes along …and suddenly without warning…your life becomes a state of confusion and chaos. What was once a budding relationship full of fun and romantic dinners has turned into a dysfunctional toxic experience….and you are left wondering…Is it me? Am I crazy? Why do I have to be the grown up? Why do I have to clean up this mess?
I went to Jamaica with my man for a relaxing romantic trip. We decided to go on a Catamaran (boat/raft) for fun. I asked my man, if he knew how to operate a Catamaran and he scoffed…”It is not that hard.” I suggested we get an instructor to go with us but of course I was ignored. My man thought that someone would steal our cameras while we were out in the ocean so he insisted we take them with us on the Catamaran…against my suggestion that we leave them ashore.
Needless…to say…15 minutes later…I found myself being propelled out of the Catamaran into the ocean. You guessed it! My man had no idea how to turn the boat. SPASH! We both became panicked and began flailing our arms back in forth. I swear for about two minutes I saw my life flash before my eyes. My children…my home…old friends…my funeral…everything ran through my mind at record pace. I was screaming and yelling and gasping for air…my feet could not touch the bottom....I was in DEEP trouble. My man was grabbing for me as I began to drift away from the boat. I knew this was the end. Just when my arms began to feel too weak to move anymore, a Jamaican man pulled up in a little motorized boat and said (with a Jamaican twang) “Miss calm down…CALM DOWN…you are wearing a life jacket!”
It took me a moment to realize what he said. I was able to simply float if I just stopped believing I was drowning. And where were our cameras you ask? That’s right…at the bottom of the ocean.
When we got back to shore…I went straight to the bar and got a fruity drink with extra rum. I could not even speak to my man who was still in shock from the whole experience. I would attach some pictures of the trip but there aren’t any.
Ladies…we have to avoid this man made chaos…we have to trust our instinct and say no when we see our men stirring up trouble or leading us to trouble. Ladies…we are able to make logical calm decisions….lets learn to trust them and avoid the man made chaos.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies…Have you ever been the victim of man made chaos? You know what I am talking about. Everything is going fine in your life and then a man comes along …and suddenly without warning…your life becomes a state of confusion and chaos. What was once a budding relationship full of fun and romantic dinners has turned into a dysfunctional toxic experience….and you are left wondering…Is it me? Am I crazy? Why do I have to be the grown up? Why do I have to clean up this mess?
I went to Jamaica with my man for a relaxing romantic trip. We decided to go on a Catamaran (boat/raft) for fun. I asked my man, if he knew how to operate a Catamaran and he scoffed…”It is not that hard.” I suggested we get an instructor to go with us but of course I was ignored. My man thought that someone would steal our cameras while we were out in the ocean so he insisted we take them with us on the Catamaran…against my suggestion that we leave them ashore.
Needless…to say…15 minutes later…I found myself being propelled out of the Catamaran into the ocean. You guessed it! My man had no idea how to turn the boat. SPASH! We both became panicked and began flailing our arms back in forth. I swear for about two minutes I saw my life flash before my eyes. My children…my home…old friends…my funeral…everything ran through my mind at record pace. I was screaming and yelling and gasping for air…my feet could not touch the bottom....I was in DEEP trouble. My man was grabbing for me as I began to drift away from the boat. I knew this was the end. Just when my arms began to feel too weak to move anymore, a Jamaican man pulled up in a little motorized boat and said (with a Jamaican twang) “Miss calm down…CALM DOWN…you are wearing a life jacket!”
It took me a moment to realize what he said. I was able to simply float if I just stopped believing I was drowning. And where were our cameras you ask? That’s right…at the bottom of the ocean.
When we got back to shore…I went straight to the bar and got a fruity drink with extra rum. I could not even speak to my man who was still in shock from the whole experience. I would attach some pictures of the trip but there aren’t any.
Ladies…we have to avoid this man made chaos…we have to trust our instinct and say no when we see our men stirring up trouble or leading us to trouble. Ladies…we are able to make logical calm decisions….lets learn to trust them and avoid the man made chaos.
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Don't let a man's foolishness get you sick!
Your Momma never told you....don't let your man's foolishness get you sick.
Ladies…I recently went through a sudden and unexpected break up. The break up sent me into an emotional tailspin. You would think after all of my dating experience…after all of the doggings I have been through…after a divorce…I would get used to it but that is just not the case. I was shocked and overcome with sadness. I had trouble sleeping. I became distracted at work. I couldn’t eat. I lost weight. I couldn’t concentrate. I was driving and missing exits. I was bursting out in tears in the middle of the day. Simply put, I was depressed.
A few weeks after the break up, I went to the doctor for my regular check up when I was told…”You have high blood pressure”. I shot right up from the examining table said to my doctor…YOU MUST BE JOKING. I am in good shape…I am just a little depressed and stressed out right now. I explained about my break up and my doctor also informed me that depression is one of the top five causes of a women’s health to seriously decline.
Ladies..I had a wake up call. I had a check up not six months prior and I was the epitome of health. Now, after dealing with a man and his foolishness, I had lost 12 lbs, was sleep deprived, and had high blood pressure. I realized then…these men out here have the ability to damage to you emotionally and physically…if you let them.
Here is another example. A friend of mine who is currently going through a separation called me one evening after speaking with her “man” for about ten minutes. Laddies...do you know she was complaining of anxiety, heart palpitations, and a migraine after a simple phone call? She was in a complete full blown panic and a state of confusion. She was in her home searching the medicine cabinet for migraine medication. It only took ten minutes of interaction with her “man” to cause her health to decline. Imagine if she was with him for 24 hours…I guess I would be at the hospital right now kneeling by her bedside and praying for her recovery.
Ladies…this is ridiculous. We have got to get a hold of ourselves and not let a man cause us so much stress and anxiety that we begin to develop serious health problems. When I left the doctor’s office, I immediately got a hold of myself and kicked myself back into self care mode.
Within a days…I began to feel better. No more ladies…I have a family to raise and grandchildren to meet. Ladies…if any of this rings a bell…if your health has declined due to a man and HIS shortcomings or poor behavior…wake up and regain control of your mental and emotional health. Don’t allow a man and his inappropriate behaviors send you to the hospital. Pull yourself together start walking down the road called…The Rest of your Life.
Till next time ladies.
Ladies…I recently went through a sudden and unexpected break up. The break up sent me into an emotional tailspin. You would think after all of my dating experience…after all of the doggings I have been through…after a divorce…I would get used to it but that is just not the case. I was shocked and overcome with sadness. I had trouble sleeping. I became distracted at work. I couldn’t eat. I lost weight. I couldn’t concentrate. I was driving and missing exits. I was bursting out in tears in the middle of the day. Simply put, I was depressed.
A few weeks after the break up, I went to the doctor for my regular check up when I was told…”You have high blood pressure”. I shot right up from the examining table said to my doctor…YOU MUST BE JOKING. I am in good shape…I am just a little depressed and stressed out right now. I explained about my break up and my doctor also informed me that depression is one of the top five causes of a women’s health to seriously decline.
Ladies..I had a wake up call. I had a check up not six months prior and I was the epitome of health. Now, after dealing with a man and his foolishness, I had lost 12 lbs, was sleep deprived, and had high blood pressure. I realized then…these men out here have the ability to damage to you emotionally and physically…if you let them.
Here is another example. A friend of mine who is currently going through a separation called me one evening after speaking with her “man” for about ten minutes. Laddies...do you know she was complaining of anxiety, heart palpitations, and a migraine after a simple phone call? She was in a complete full blown panic and a state of confusion. She was in her home searching the medicine cabinet for migraine medication. It only took ten minutes of interaction with her “man” to cause her health to decline. Imagine if she was with him for 24 hours…I guess I would be at the hospital right now kneeling by her bedside and praying for her recovery.
Ladies…this is ridiculous. We have got to get a hold of ourselves and not let a man cause us so much stress and anxiety that we begin to develop serious health problems. When I left the doctor’s office, I immediately got a hold of myself and kicked myself back into self care mode.
Within a days…I began to feel better. No more ladies…I have a family to raise and grandchildren to meet. Ladies…if any of this rings a bell…if your health has declined due to a man and HIS shortcomings or poor behavior…wake up and regain control of your mental and emotional health. Don’t allow a man and his inappropriate behaviors send you to the hospital. Pull yourself together start walking down the road called…The Rest of your Life.
Till next time ladies.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Recite Affirmations Daily...Until
Your Momma never told you to develop your own set of affirmations and recite them daily...until you believe them.
About five years ago, I started to develop a set of affirmations to live by. Affirmations are simply positive statements that you can help you make changes in your life or in my case represent my beliefs and who I am. Affirmations can help develop a powerful and positive attitude to life and can be used to manifest change in your life.
As women, we often become influenced by what others think and by what others want us to do. We do not want to disappoint or seem selfish. We want to be agreeable and "nice". Actually ladies...it is not our fault. We are culturally raised to be kind and sweet. Now ladies...I am not saying not to be kind. What I am saying is if we are not careful, our kindness can turn into passiveness...which can turn into becoming someone we are not. One of the ways we can always be true to ourselves and make the best decisions in our lives is to write down affirmations that are representative of who we are and who we wish to be. I found this technique especially helpful when I was going through my divorce. It was a time I was questioning everything about my beliefs, who I was, what I was being told, what others thought of me, who my friends were, who my enemies were, where I was going to live, what I was going to do...and on and on. I came up with twenty affirmations that I began reciting to myself everyday in order to remind myself of the great things about myself that I loved. Ladies...I encourage you to do the same. Post them in your home or in your bathroom mirror. Read them every day until one day...when you are faced with a difficult situationsor someone questions your choices ....you can recite the affirmation that applies and know what to do.
Here is a sample of ten of my affirmations just to give you some ideas.
Ten Affirmative Statements
1. My feelings are real and valuable and, therefore; should be honored by others.
2. I live by my set of morals and values that are not influenced by others.
3. I make decisions about my life that are comfortable to me and my children first and foremost.
4. I know the difference between right and wrong and will not be convinced otherwise.
5. I can handle anything on my own.
6. I do not need anyone to validate my worth or existence.
7. I am a good person worthy of love and respect.
8. I am in control of my life and who comes in it and who goes out of it.
9. I am committed to making my children feel safe and loved at all times.
10. I do not fear other people’s reactions to my decisions.
Till Next Time Ladies.
About five years ago, I started to develop a set of affirmations to live by. Affirmations are simply positive statements that you can help you make changes in your life or in my case represent my beliefs and who I am. Affirmations can help develop a powerful and positive attitude to life and can be used to manifest change in your life.
As women, we often become influenced by what others think and by what others want us to do. We do not want to disappoint or seem selfish. We want to be agreeable and "nice". Actually ladies...it is not our fault. We are culturally raised to be kind and sweet. Now ladies...I am not saying not to be kind. What I am saying is if we are not careful, our kindness can turn into passiveness...which can turn into becoming someone we are not. One of the ways we can always be true to ourselves and make the best decisions in our lives is to write down affirmations that are representative of who we are and who we wish to be. I found this technique especially helpful when I was going through my divorce. It was a time I was questioning everything about my beliefs, who I was, what I was being told, what others thought of me, who my friends were, who my enemies were, where I was going to live, what I was going to do...and on and on. I came up with twenty affirmations that I began reciting to myself everyday in order to remind myself of the great things about myself that I loved. Ladies...I encourage you to do the same. Post them in your home or in your bathroom mirror. Read them every day until one day...when you are faced with a difficult situationsor someone questions your choices ....you can recite the affirmation that applies and know what to do.
Here is a sample of ten of my affirmations just to give you some ideas.
Ten Affirmative Statements
1. My feelings are real and valuable and, therefore; should be honored by others.
2. I live by my set of morals and values that are not influenced by others.
3. I make decisions about my life that are comfortable to me and my children first and foremost.
4. I know the difference between right and wrong and will not be convinced otherwise.
5. I can handle anything on my own.
6. I do not need anyone to validate my worth or existence.
7. I am a good person worthy of love and respect.
8. I am in control of my life and who comes in it and who goes out of it.
9. I am committed to making my children feel safe and loved at all times.
10. I do not fear other people’s reactions to my decisions.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Are you rhe person you most admire?
Your Momma never told you....if asked the question...Who do you most admire? The answer should be yourself.
I spend a lot of time writing on a computer writing at work. There is often complete silence for hours and hours in my department The only thing you can hear is the people thinking, reading, or writing....all day long. As you can imagine...the quiet can be almost unbearable at times.
For fun, one of my co-workers emailed a survey to all of the employees in my department to generate some excitement and to break up the day. The "Get to Know You" survey consisted of a list of twenty oddball questions designed to let everyone know about each other. "Where is the farthest place you have traveled?" "Ketchup or Mustard?" "What is your favorite movie?" You get the picture. When I took the survey, I found the last question to be the most interesting. "Who do you most admire?"
Ladies....when I came to this question, I put down the first person that came to mind. Me. Ladies, this is not to say I do not admire my mother or father or Maya Angelou...or my friend who fought cancer so bravely. I most certainly do. Ladies....I am just at a point in my life where I can say that I admire all that I am and all that I do each day of the week as a woman, as an ex-wife, as a co-worker, as a mother, as a sister, as a aunt, as a friend, girlfriend, as a lover, and as a mother. I am not perfect by no means but ladies...I can say that I TRY to do my best to do the right thing. I can say that I admire myself for being a fighter and a survivor of all of the things that has happened over the last forty years. I have taken the punches that life can throw...and I am still standing and still enjoying the ride. I know who I am and I like who I am.
When thinking about this question, a young woman came to mind. She spent a lot of time in bed and quite frankly in denial. She said she felt hopeless and powerless. I spent hours talking to this woman. I encouraged her to get help and to get out of her abusive situation. Ladies...I could see in her eyes each time I spoke to her...she did not admire herself at all. Her self esteem was at an all time low and she was overcome with sadness. Ladies...the young woman I am speaking of....is me...many years ago. I thank God to this day...I am no longer that woman.
Ladies....the results of our survey revealed that only one person other person gave the same response I did to that question. Maybe the other forty three people did not want to seem arrogant. Maybe they truly admired their parents (which was the most popular answer) or maybe...the answer "Myself" never even entered their minds.
Ladies...who is the person you most admire? Is it you? Are you even on the list?
Till Next Time Ladies
I spend a lot of time writing on a computer writing at work. There is often complete silence for hours and hours in my department The only thing you can hear is the people thinking, reading, or writing....all day long. As you can imagine...the quiet can be almost unbearable at times.
For fun, one of my co-workers emailed a survey to all of the employees in my department to generate some excitement and to break up the day. The "Get to Know You" survey consisted of a list of twenty oddball questions designed to let everyone know about each other. "Where is the farthest place you have traveled?" "Ketchup or Mustard?" "What is your favorite movie?" You get the picture. When I took the survey, I found the last question to be the most interesting. "Who do you most admire?"
Ladies....when I came to this question, I put down the first person that came to mind. Me. Ladies, this is not to say I do not admire my mother or father or Maya Angelou...or my friend who fought cancer so bravely. I most certainly do. Ladies....I am just at a point in my life where I can say that I admire all that I am and all that I do each day of the week as a woman, as an ex-wife, as a co-worker, as a mother, as a sister, as a aunt, as a friend, girlfriend, as a lover, and as a mother. I am not perfect by no means but ladies...I can say that I TRY to do my best to do the right thing. I can say that I admire myself for being a fighter and a survivor of all of the things that has happened over the last forty years. I have taken the punches that life can throw...and I am still standing and still enjoying the ride. I know who I am and I like who I am.
When thinking about this question, a young woman came to mind. She spent a lot of time in bed and quite frankly in denial. She said she felt hopeless and powerless. I spent hours talking to this woman. I encouraged her to get help and to get out of her abusive situation. Ladies...I could see in her eyes each time I spoke to her...she did not admire herself at all. Her self esteem was at an all time low and she was overcome with sadness. Ladies...the young woman I am speaking of....is me...many years ago. I thank God to this day...I am no longer that woman.
Ladies....the results of our survey revealed that only one person other person gave the same response I did to that question. Maybe the other forty three people did not want to seem arrogant. Maybe they truly admired their parents (which was the most popular answer) or maybe...the answer "Myself" never even entered their minds.
Ladies...who is the person you most admire? Is it you? Are you even on the list?
Till Next Time Ladies
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Signs of an Immature Man
Your Momma never told you the 15 signs that you are with an immature man.
Ladies, don't fall into the false thinking that you can grow up a man. You can grow up a baby...but when you are with a man...the basic teaching has been completed. Someone has already spent eighteen years growing up the man...now you are stuck with the results of that teaching.
If your man is not grown, don't make the mistake that you can reverse, improve, or renew the teaching that occurred over the period of his childhood. Look at who he is and decide...is this an immature man? If he is....run, run, run,....ladies...because you are dating the equivalent of a destructive teenager.
Sign you are dating an immature man.
1. He goes to the bar every week with his friends and gets drunk.
2. His car has an upgraded stereo system, sparkling rims, and custom seating.
3. His idea of a great vacation is going to an amusement park.
4. He plays video games and believes he is winning.
5. He regularly gets in verbal or physical fights with family, friends, his employer, and coworkers.
6. He has a child or children he does not see or pay for.
7. He lies when he thinks he is going to get in trouble.
8. He is unable to have any deep conversations (superficial conversation).
9. He wears his pants on his thighs.
10. He dwells in vivid happy memories of the past.
11. He can not manage money or keep a job.
12. He throws "mantrums" to get what he wants.
13. He spends all his money on gadgets, toys, booze, sports, car upgrades, and electronics.
14. He expects you to clean up his mess.
15. He was funny as hell but now you want him to go to hell.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Ladies, don't fall into the false thinking that you can grow up a man. You can grow up a baby...but when you are with a man...the basic teaching has been completed. Someone has already spent eighteen years growing up the man...now you are stuck with the results of that teaching.
If your man is not grown, don't make the mistake that you can reverse, improve, or renew the teaching that occurred over the period of his childhood. Look at who he is and decide...is this an immature man? If he is....run, run, run,....ladies...because you are dating the equivalent of a destructive teenager.
Sign you are dating an immature man.
1. He goes to the bar every week with his friends and gets drunk.
2. His car has an upgraded stereo system, sparkling rims, and custom seating.
3. His idea of a great vacation is going to an amusement park.
4. He plays video games and believes he is winning.
5. He regularly gets in verbal or physical fights with family, friends, his employer, and coworkers.
6. He has a child or children he does not see or pay for.
7. He lies when he thinks he is going to get in trouble.
8. He is unable to have any deep conversations (superficial conversation).
9. He wears his pants on his thighs.
10. He dwells in vivid happy memories of the past.
11. He can not manage money or keep a job.
12. He throws "mantrums" to get what he wants.
13. He spends all his money on gadgets, toys, booze, sports, car upgrades, and electronics.
14. He expects you to clean up his mess.
15. He was funny as hell but now you want him to go to hell.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Don't Waste Time on Sperm You Will Never Use
Your Momma never told you....don't waste time on sperm you will never use.
I was talking to a single friend of mine that is approaching age 30. She really is in no hurry to get married but does want a family and children. She travels and has a great work life. She is seeing someone but in her words...."What's the rush? Women have children at 40 years old nowadays."
Poor girl...she had bought into the Hollywood myth that it is easy to get pregnant with your FIRST child at 40. Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kelly Preston, Celine Dion....yes....they can have children whenever they want...why? They have plenty of money, resources, time, frozen eggs, egg donors, specialists, surrogates, and sperm donors. And trust me...these women have gone through some heartache as well. I had to give her a wake up call.
Ladies...if you are approaching 30 and are unmarried and want children....wake up....you are approaching the starting line for the Fertility Race. You have to find your sperm...date it...get it down the aisle...and get pregnant with it. WAKE UP...ladies...this takes time.
Now, I was pregnant with my first child at 33 and my second at 35....so ladies...I am not saying it is hopeless....but what I am saying is after 30...it starts getting harder and harder. I myself had one lazy ovary that just stopped producing eggs and blocked tubes. I had to have my tubes flushed (painful) and have sex non stop ....because I only release six eggs in a year...to get my first baby. The whole process took two years but after that...it was smooth sailing...I got pregnant with my second...right away. My body woke up and started producing. I even have friends that have had ANOTHER child in their 40's...but very few if any...had their FIRST child at 40...without a lot of help.
But ladies...what do you do if you are dating a guy....but know in your heart....he is not husband material or father material? My advice....if you are approaching 30....you need to lockdown quality sperm as soon as possible. In other words, don't waste time on sperm you know you will never use. Get rid of a man that has no potential to be the father of your children. That is right ladies...when you get 30...you have to start thinking strategically and logically....find the man you want to be the father of your children...and lockdown the dna. I hate to say it but...when you die...there is no guarantee your man will be there...but your children...they will be there in your life till the end.
If you want a family...if you want a legacy...if you want some part of you left on this earth when you are gone...wake up ladies...and get focused....and find the sperm you need to produce.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I was talking to a single friend of mine that is approaching age 30. She really is in no hurry to get married but does want a family and children. She travels and has a great work life. She is seeing someone but in her words...."What's the rush? Women have children at 40 years old nowadays."
Poor girl...she had bought into the Hollywood myth that it is easy to get pregnant with your FIRST child at 40. Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kelly Preston, Celine Dion....yes....they can have children whenever they want...why? They have plenty of money, resources, time, frozen eggs, egg donors, specialists, surrogates, and sperm donors. And trust me...these women have gone through some heartache as well. I had to give her a wake up call.
Ladies...if you are approaching 30 and are unmarried and want children....wake up....you are approaching the starting line for the Fertility Race. You have to find your sperm...date it...get it down the aisle...and get pregnant with it. WAKE UP...ladies...this takes time.
Now, I was pregnant with my first child at 33 and my second at 35....so ladies...I am not saying it is hopeless....but what I am saying is after 30...it starts getting harder and harder. I myself had one lazy ovary that just stopped producing eggs and blocked tubes. I had to have my tubes flushed (painful) and have sex non stop ....because I only release six eggs in a year...to get my first baby. The whole process took two years but after that...it was smooth sailing...I got pregnant with my second...right away. My body woke up and started producing. I even have friends that have had ANOTHER child in their 40's...but very few if any...had their FIRST child at 40...without a lot of help.
But ladies...what do you do if you are dating a guy....but know in your heart....he is not husband material or father material? My advice....if you are approaching 30....you need to lockdown quality sperm as soon as possible. In other words, don't waste time on sperm you know you will never use. Get rid of a man that has no potential to be the father of your children. That is right ladies...when you get 30...you have to start thinking strategically and logically....find the man you want to be the father of your children...and lockdown the dna. I hate to say it but...when you die...there is no guarantee your man will be there...but your children...they will be there in your life till the end.
If you want a family...if you want a legacy...if you want some part of you left on this earth when you are gone...wake up ladies...and get focused....and find the sperm you need to produce.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Pretending is For Girls Under 10
Your Momma never told you that pretending is for girls under 10.
I was talking to my boyfriend about heartbreaks and I thought of a man I was engaged to previously. I had dated this man for four years. Ladies...you know sometimes you can eat, drink, and sleep a man....well...that was pretty much what I did. Year after year after year....but the funny thing was...he never felt the same about me...and I knew it....but I chose to pretend he did.
I truly gave and was willing to give ...everything I could to this man and then finnaly the day came and he asked me to marry him. When I got the inexpensive ring...I pulled it out...and he said...while sitting on the floor...."Well girl...you know what that means." That was it ladies....the most romantic proposal I have ever gotten...well up until that day. It was such a let down...so sad and without passion....so I pretended to hear..."I love you..and can't imagine my life without you...will you marry me?" I pretended there were flowers...red roses...and we were on the shore of my favorite Carribean beach. I pretended the ring was a custom made diamond that he searched all over town for.
So I took the ring... put it on my finger...and pretended it was a real proposal...and said yes. I remember asking him when we could get married....for me...tomorrow was not soon enough....remember...I ate, slept, and drank...this "tall drink of water". He, on the other hand, said in a panicked voice..."We have to be engaged at least a year. That is the rule." Well, I should have seen the hesistation in his eyes...actually, it had been there for years...but I chose to ignore it...and just hoped for the best.
Needless to say, a year later, we weren't married. Needless, to say...we never got married. The truth was I was not for him....and he was not for me...and that is ok. We both survived the disappointment. But ladies..the point is...don't waste time pretending something is great...when it really is not. Learn to hear exactly what is said....don't pretend not to see or hear something and hope for the best. Look at the reality...and don't waste your time pretending.
Till Next Time Ladies....
I was talking to my boyfriend about heartbreaks and I thought of a man I was engaged to previously. I had dated this man for four years. Ladies...you know sometimes you can eat, drink, and sleep a man....well...that was pretty much what I did. Year after year after year....but the funny thing was...he never felt the same about me...and I knew it....but I chose to pretend he did.
I truly gave and was willing to give ...everything I could to this man and then finnaly the day came and he asked me to marry him. When I got the inexpensive ring...I pulled it out...and he said...while sitting on the floor...."Well girl...you know what that means." That was it ladies....the most romantic proposal I have ever gotten...well up until that day. It was such a let down...so sad and without passion....so I pretended to hear..."I love you..and can't imagine my life without you...will you marry me?" I pretended there were flowers...red roses...and we were on the shore of my favorite Carribean beach. I pretended the ring was a custom made diamond that he searched all over town for.
So I took the ring... put it on my finger...and pretended it was a real proposal...and said yes. I remember asking him when we could get married....for me...tomorrow was not soon enough....remember...I ate, slept, and drank...this "tall drink of water". He, on the other hand, said in a panicked voice..."We have to be engaged at least a year. That is the rule." Well, I should have seen the hesistation in his eyes...actually, it had been there for years...but I chose to ignore it...and just hoped for the best.
Needless to say, a year later, we weren't married. Needless, to say...we never got married. The truth was I was not for him....and he was not for me...and that is ok. We both survived the disappointment. But ladies..the point is...don't waste time pretending something is great...when it really is not. Learn to hear exactly what is said....don't pretend not to see or hear something and hope for the best. Look at the reality...and don't waste your time pretending.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Friday, September 17, 2010
Don't Leave Home without the Tweezers
Your Momma never told you not to leave the house without a set of tweezers.
Ladies...I hate to break the news to you but generally, after 30....gray hairs start to appear in the front of your hairline. You won't know the date or the time, but one day, you will look in the mirror and they will suddenly be there. Don't panic. Don't cry. Just sit back and gain control with a pair of tweezers. Now I know the old wives tale...if you tweeze one...two will grow back...but ladies...I hate to break it to you...the fact is you are going gray. In the beginning, if you like, you can manage the straggle gray hairs with tweezers but eventually, you will have to face the truth...and come up with the cash to get a good dye job regularly.
The second bit of news is...ladies....as you pass the 40 mark...other hairs will begin to grow in unusual places. For example, I was driving home from Marshalls the other day when I went to adjust my rear view mirror. I took a peek at my face to make sure I had lip gloss on...when to my surprise I noticed something on my chin. As I looked closer and closer, you can imagine my surprise when I saw a long black chin hair. I tried to pluck it with my fingers immediately but all it did was curl up. I was mortified....and ladies...I had no tweezers. Well you can understand why I skipped all my other stops for the afternoon and raced home to grab my tweezers. I pulled it out and just tried to pretend the whole thing was a nightmare..but it wasn't. For me, chin hairs...yes...straggle chin hairs have started to appear. The only good news is that they are not gray.
But ladies...I can't say the same about my salt and pepper eyebrows...I started tweezing the grays years ago but now I just use make up or dye them also.
Now, I could go on ladies...but you get the picture...carry tweezers with you at all times...you don't want to get stuck out an about with a runaway hair....and ladies...there is no need to look older than you are.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...I hate to break the news to you but generally, after 30....gray hairs start to appear in the front of your hairline. You won't know the date or the time, but one day, you will look in the mirror and they will suddenly be there. Don't panic. Don't cry. Just sit back and gain control with a pair of tweezers. Now I know the old wives tale...if you tweeze one...two will grow back...but ladies...I hate to break it to you...the fact is you are going gray. In the beginning, if you like, you can manage the straggle gray hairs with tweezers but eventually, you will have to face the truth...and come up with the cash to get a good dye job regularly.
The second bit of news is...ladies....as you pass the 40 mark...other hairs will begin to grow in unusual places. For example, I was driving home from Marshalls the other day when I went to adjust my rear view mirror. I took a peek at my face to make sure I had lip gloss on...when to my surprise I noticed something on my chin. As I looked closer and closer, you can imagine my surprise when I saw a long black chin hair. I tried to pluck it with my fingers immediately but all it did was curl up. I was mortified....and ladies...I had no tweezers. Well you can understand why I skipped all my other stops for the afternoon and raced home to grab my tweezers. I pulled it out and just tried to pretend the whole thing was a nightmare..but it wasn't. For me, chin hairs...yes...straggle chin hairs have started to appear. The only good news is that they are not gray.
But ladies...I can't say the same about my salt and pepper eyebrows...I started tweezing the grays years ago but now I just use make up or dye them also.
Now, I could go on ladies...but you get the picture...carry tweezers with you at all times...you don't want to get stuck out an about with a runaway hair....and ladies...there is no need to look older than you are.
Till Next Time Ladies
Friday, September 10, 2010
Keep Your Feet Neat
Your Momma never told you, keep your feet neat.
Ladies...take your shoes off right now and look at your feet. Ladies, as we get older, one of the first things to show wear and tear is our feet. I had a friend who was actually walking with a cane because she had a bunion. She was 38 at the time and when I saw her actually walking with a cane I went beserk. I told her that her feet were a vital part of her body and there was no reason she was not taking care of them. Regular pedicures would have revealed a bunion forming and she could have had it taken care of before it got to the point of impeding her daily walking. Note: If you have a corn or bunion, go to the doctor and get it removed and/or treated immediately. And let's not mention how her feet actually looked...yikes! No one wants to see messed up ashy scaly feet.
Remember the scene in the movie Boomerang when Eddie Murphy pulled the cover up to reveal a woman's feet. If the feet were ugly, he never saw the woman again. While I think that is a ridiculous reaction, ladies, there was a point to checking how the feet were kept. Let's face it, how you keep your feet says something about you to your man. If you keep your toes polished and feet well pedicured...it says I take care of myself...I love being a woman...I take care of myself...and I expect you, my man, to give me the time and the money for my upkeep. If your feet are never taken care of and a mess, it says....I could care less...I don't take care of myself...I just require the basics...food and water....and ladies...that is all your man will provide.
Just last week, my man left me a wad of cash on my dresser because he knew I was going to get my regular pedicure. Ladies...I have a job and can pay for things myself...but there is nothing like receiving a wad of cash when you don't expect it. My man, knows....it's not easy keeping it together but is willing to support my efforts because he loves the results....pretty smooth feet with no bunions or corns.
Don't neglect yourself ladies....keep those feet neat.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...take your shoes off right now and look at your feet. Ladies, as we get older, one of the first things to show wear and tear is our feet. I had a friend who was actually walking with a cane because she had a bunion. She was 38 at the time and when I saw her actually walking with a cane I went beserk. I told her that her feet were a vital part of her body and there was no reason she was not taking care of them. Regular pedicures would have revealed a bunion forming and she could have had it taken care of before it got to the point of impeding her daily walking. Note: If you have a corn or bunion, go to the doctor and get it removed and/or treated immediately. And let's not mention how her feet actually looked...yikes! No one wants to see messed up ashy scaly feet.
Remember the scene in the movie Boomerang when Eddie Murphy pulled the cover up to reveal a woman's feet. If the feet were ugly, he never saw the woman again. While I think that is a ridiculous reaction, ladies, there was a point to checking how the feet were kept. Let's face it, how you keep your feet says something about you to your man. If you keep your toes polished and feet well pedicured...it says I take care of myself...I love being a woman...I take care of myself...and I expect you, my man, to give me the time and the money for my upkeep. If your feet are never taken care of and a mess, it says....I could care less...I don't take care of myself...I just require the basics...food and water....and ladies...that is all your man will provide.
Just last week, my man left me a wad of cash on my dresser because he knew I was going to get my regular pedicure. Ladies...I have a job and can pay for things myself...but there is nothing like receiving a wad of cash when you don't expect it. My man, knows....it's not easy keeping it together but is willing to support my efforts because he loves the results....pretty smooth feet with no bunions or corns.
Don't neglect yourself ladies....keep those feet neat.
Till Next Time Ladies
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Don't let a Wheelchair Move For You
Your Momma never told you that you in order to stay out of a wheelchair....exercise every day.
My daughters learned how to ride horses this year at a farm near our home. One day I was picking the kids up when a woman jogged up sweating bullets. Her daughter came out and said...."Mom, you jogged all the way here?" The woman said "Of course, lets go"...and the two of them walked out of the barn, up the hill, around the corner, and I presume home.
I stood there in shock. It never ever has crossed my mind to jog to any place much less to pick my kids up from a riding lesson. I don't jog to the store, or the school, or to my girlfriends. It just never crossed my mind. The woman jogger was fit as a fiddle...and she was my age (at least). She looked so healthy and radiant....even through the sweat. So, I decided to start to jog. I went to the local track and started to walk. I figured I would work up to jogging. Actually, back in the day, I used to be an exercise fanatic but in the last few years... life... has taken over my love of exercise....anyway, I felt I was ready to get back on track. ( no pun intended). As I was walking, a 65 + year old man jogged by me...this man's legs were perfection. I know it sounds crazy but his legs were tight like a 25 year olds. It was clear he was aging pretty well. It was clear he was fit and still moving. Needless to say, I was inspired and began to walk faster. I thought to myself, I want to be able to move like that in my late 60's and 70's.
In Raquel Welch's book, Beyond the Cleavage, she says you must get in the game of aging. You must keep moving and exercising because if you don't you will be using a cane, a wheel chair, or a walker. And let's face it...I don't care if Raquel has had surgery or not...she looks fantastic for 70. She says, for her, yoga is the key but the bottom line is you have to find something you love and keep doing it. Don't stop. Workout every day to keep the bones moving.
As we age ladies...your body does as well...you have to take care of it every day...like you would your house, or your car, or your children. So don't slack off ladies...make time every day to do something...walk, jog, weights, dancing...whatever it takes. Keep moving so you don't end up using a wheelchair to move for you.
Till Next Time Ladies
My daughters learned how to ride horses this year at a farm near our home. One day I was picking the kids up when a woman jogged up sweating bullets. Her daughter came out and said...."Mom, you jogged all the way here?" The woman said "Of course, lets go"...and the two of them walked out of the barn, up the hill, around the corner, and I presume home.
I stood there in shock. It never ever has crossed my mind to jog to any place much less to pick my kids up from a riding lesson. I don't jog to the store, or the school, or to my girlfriends. It just never crossed my mind. The woman jogger was fit as a fiddle...and she was my age (at least). She looked so healthy and radiant....even through the sweat. So, I decided to start to jog. I went to the local track and started to walk. I figured I would work up to jogging. Actually, back in the day, I used to be an exercise fanatic but in the last few years... life... has taken over my love of exercise....anyway, I felt I was ready to get back on track. ( no pun intended). As I was walking, a 65 + year old man jogged by me...this man's legs were perfection. I know it sounds crazy but his legs were tight like a 25 year olds. It was clear he was aging pretty well. It was clear he was fit and still moving. Needless to say, I was inspired and began to walk faster. I thought to myself, I want to be able to move like that in my late 60's and 70's.
In Raquel Welch's book, Beyond the Cleavage, she says you must get in the game of aging. You must keep moving and exercising because if you don't you will be using a cane, a wheel chair, or a walker. And let's face it...I don't care if Raquel has had surgery or not...she looks fantastic for 70. She says, for her, yoga is the key but the bottom line is you have to find something you love and keep doing it. Don't stop. Workout every day to keep the bones moving.
As we age ladies...your body does as well...you have to take care of it every day...like you would your house, or your car, or your children. So don't slack off ladies...make time every day to do something...walk, jog, weights, dancing...whatever it takes. Keep moving so you don't end up using a wheelchair to move for you.
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Don't Let the Piano Lessons Go To Waste
Your Momma never told you...don't waste piano lessons.
When I was young I took piano lessons for about 10 years. I actually was pretty good at reading music but not so good at playing by ear. I was always the last to perform in recitals because I was the best student. When I went to college I stopped playing piano. I just lost interest I guess and I had pretty much learned all I could learn. I could pick up any sheet of music, read it, and eventually play it with practice of course. I saw no need to continue. Throughout the years, I dabbled here and there when I came across the piano but never really took it up again.
Fast forward to today. I went to visit my uncle in North Carolina recently. My uncle who is 75 years old told me of how when he was young, my grandparents could not afford to give him lessons....so he sat at the piano and taught himself. My uncle eventually earned his doctorate in music and was the head of a music department and band director at a college in North Carolina for over 30 years. While at his house we sat together and played his electric piano and marimba. It had been awhile since I sat down but it all started to come back again....and I started thinking maybe I should get the girls piano lessons.
When I came home I looked into piano teachers for the girls but then I thought ..why pay $25.00 a lesson when I could teach them for free. I went to the music store and bought a beginner's book and started giving lessons to the girls once a week. I thought I would not have time but I am spending the time and energy it would have taken to drive them to and from piano lessons.
Ladies...if you have a skill or talent, take the time to teach your kids. I started to think about all of the things I participated in over the years...cheerleading, track, piano, violin, karate, yoga, basketball, volleyball, kickball, softball, etc.....and I have so many things I can teach my kids....and I can lose a couple of pounds in the process. Next up...tennis!
Till next time ladies.
When I was young I took piano lessons for about 10 years. I actually was pretty good at reading music but not so good at playing by ear. I was always the last to perform in recitals because I was the best student. When I went to college I stopped playing piano. I just lost interest I guess and I had pretty much learned all I could learn. I could pick up any sheet of music, read it, and eventually play it with practice of course. I saw no need to continue. Throughout the years, I dabbled here and there when I came across the piano but never really took it up again.
Fast forward to today. I went to visit my uncle in North Carolina recently. My uncle who is 75 years old told me of how when he was young, my grandparents could not afford to give him lessons....so he sat at the piano and taught himself. My uncle eventually earned his doctorate in music and was the head of a music department and band director at a college in North Carolina for over 30 years. While at his house we sat together and played his electric piano and marimba. It had been awhile since I sat down but it all started to come back again....and I started thinking maybe I should get the girls piano lessons.
When I came home I looked into piano teachers for the girls but then I thought ..why pay $25.00 a lesson when I could teach them for free. I went to the music store and bought a beginner's book and started giving lessons to the girls once a week. I thought I would not have time but I am spending the time and energy it would have taken to drive them to and from piano lessons.
Ladies...if you have a skill or talent, take the time to teach your kids. I started to think about all of the things I participated in over the years...cheerleading, track, piano, violin, karate, yoga, basketball, volleyball, kickball, softball, etc.....and I have so many things I can teach my kids....and I can lose a couple of pounds in the process. Next up...tennis!
Till next time ladies.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Aunt Flo can Go
Your Momma never told you that Aunt Flo keep visiting for most of your life and she will get on your nerves.
This weekend I had yet another visit from Aunt Flo and she got on my last nerves. I actually got sick. I had cramps, migraines and overall felt gloomy....and then I started thinking. Do you know Aunt Flo has been coming to visit for 30 years? Ladies, this is ridiculous. I am so tired of calculating, preparing, and dealing with Aunt Flo...and let's be real...Aunt Flo ain't cheap. I have purchased boxes and boxes of equipment and bottles and bottles of pills to deal with Aunt Flo. I don't understand why the equipment and pills are not covered by health insurance...I mean it is an overall health condition. My goodness I am bleeding for seven days out of every month and I can't get one tampon covered.
Also, I really think women should be given seven days of sick time each month to deal with Aunt Flo. If men had to deal with Aunt Flo....ladies...companies would shut down, vacations days would be trippled, work at home would be the only option, bonuses would be given....etc. We don't get anything and everyone expects us to just keep going and act like everything is ok...well it isn't ok. I am tired and sick from Aunt Flo constantly dropping by every month....sometime early without warning. I have to structure my entire day differently when Aunt Flo shows up but does anyone care. NO!
Ladies, we have gotten so used to dealing with Aunt Flo...we just act like nothing is going on. We still get up to cook and clean. We still take care of the kids. We still go to work...all while we are dealing with Aunt Flo. It just is not fair. Don't we deserve a break when we are dealing with Aunt Flo. Work is one thing but keeping house and running around after children...hey my man can do that.
So ladies....I made a decision. I am no longer pretending that I am fine when Aunt Flo is in town. From now on...when Aunt Flo comes...I make an announcement to my family and my man that she has arrived....and while she is in town...everyone must do their share to make me feel comfortable. I take some days off from housework and lay down. My goodness...enough is enough. I also ask my man for some pampering...which I get. I mean...he certainly does not want to deal with Aunt Flo either. Whatever he can do to make things go smooth while she is here...he does. Ice cream, popsicles, gifts, grocery shopping, vacuuming, grilling, playing with the kids, breakfast in bed...whatever it takes...he just goes with it. And if you don't have a man ladies...cause sometimes they can be more trouble than they are worth....pamper yourself. Hire help...or ask your kids to take care of you...they love to do that....and lay down and watch a good movie.
Ladies...Aunt Flo can go...but until she does....don't stress yourself out and run around acting like nothing is going on. Get your rest, eat right, and relax.
Till Next Time Lades
This weekend I had yet another visit from Aunt Flo and she got on my last nerves. I actually got sick. I had cramps, migraines and overall felt gloomy....and then I started thinking. Do you know Aunt Flo has been coming to visit for 30 years? Ladies, this is ridiculous. I am so tired of calculating, preparing, and dealing with Aunt Flo...and let's be real...Aunt Flo ain't cheap. I have purchased boxes and boxes of equipment and bottles and bottles of pills to deal with Aunt Flo. I don't understand why the equipment and pills are not covered by health insurance...I mean it is an overall health condition. My goodness I am bleeding for seven days out of every month and I can't get one tampon covered.
Also, I really think women should be given seven days of sick time each month to deal with Aunt Flo. If men had to deal with Aunt Flo....ladies...companies would shut down, vacations days would be trippled, work at home would be the only option, bonuses would be given....etc. We don't get anything and everyone expects us to just keep going and act like everything is ok...well it isn't ok. I am tired and sick from Aunt Flo constantly dropping by every month....sometime early without warning. I have to structure my entire day differently when Aunt Flo shows up but does anyone care. NO!
Ladies, we have gotten so used to dealing with Aunt Flo...we just act like nothing is going on. We still get up to cook and clean. We still take care of the kids. We still go to work...all while we are dealing with Aunt Flo. It just is not fair. Don't we deserve a break when we are dealing with Aunt Flo. Work is one thing but keeping house and running around after children...hey my man can do that.
So ladies....I made a decision. I am no longer pretending that I am fine when Aunt Flo is in town. From now on...when Aunt Flo comes...I make an announcement to my family and my man that she has arrived....and while she is in town...everyone must do their share to make me feel comfortable. I take some days off from housework and lay down. My goodness...enough is enough. I also ask my man for some pampering...which I get. I mean...he certainly does not want to deal with Aunt Flo either. Whatever he can do to make things go smooth while she is here...he does. Ice cream, popsicles, gifts, grocery shopping, vacuuming, grilling, playing with the kids, breakfast in bed...whatever it takes...he just goes with it. And if you don't have a man ladies...cause sometimes they can be more trouble than they are worth....pamper yourself. Hire help...or ask your kids to take care of you...they love to do that....and lay down and watch a good movie.
Ladies...Aunt Flo can go...but until she does....don't stress yourself out and run around acting like nothing is going on. Get your rest, eat right, and relax.
Till Next Time Lades
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Get a Custom Closet
Your Momma never told you that you must have a custom closet.
Ladies, I recently decided to splurge on a custom closet. At the time I bought the closet, I considered it a treat not a necessity but ladies...I was wrong. A custom closet is a must have to organize you life.
I do not have a large closet but it holds everything because every inch of space is now being used to house my clothing and accessories in a neat organized fashion. Ladies...you would not believe this but my life has changed. Ladies, I did not realize how much stress my closet had caused me in the past. I would even ask my children to find my blue shoes...and the poor little things would get on their knees and dig and dig and dig.
Now that I have purchased a custom closet...every day I open the doors to my closet I breathe a sigh of relief. No more digging through the bottom of the closet looking for shoes and then giving up and wearing a different pair. No more scavenging for the perfect bag or hat....I am able to see everything I own without hunting for hours and hours. All of my clothes are organized by colors and hanging on wooden hangers. I am able to see what I have and what I need. Now that I know what I have...I can make the most of it and avoid buying duplicates.
Ladies...take my word for it. Whether you have a big walk in closet or a small closet...get it customized specifically for you. Your closet is where you go to start your day. Imagine opening your closet doors and seeing a perfectly organized space...what a great start to each day.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies, I recently decided to splurge on a custom closet. At the time I bought the closet, I considered it a treat not a necessity but ladies...I was wrong. A custom closet is a must have to organize you life.
I do not have a large closet but it holds everything because every inch of space is now being used to house my clothing and accessories in a neat organized fashion. Ladies...you would not believe this but my life has changed. Ladies, I did not realize how much stress my closet had caused me in the past. I would even ask my children to find my blue shoes...and the poor little things would get on their knees and dig and dig and dig.
Now that I have purchased a custom closet...every day I open the doors to my closet I breathe a sigh of relief. No more digging through the bottom of the closet looking for shoes and then giving up and wearing a different pair. No more scavenging for the perfect bag or hat....I am able to see everything I own without hunting for hours and hours. All of my clothes are organized by colors and hanging on wooden hangers. I am able to see what I have and what I need. Now that I know what I have...I can make the most of it and avoid buying duplicates.
Ladies...take my word for it. Whether you have a big walk in closet or a small closet...get it customized specifically for you. Your closet is where you go to start your day. Imagine opening your closet doors and seeing a perfectly organized space...what a great start to each day.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Too Many Sparks Can Cause a Fire
Your Momma never told you that some sparks cause fires.
A friend of mine recently met a man on a DC cruise of Georgetown. Instantly, she felt "magical sparks" when meeting this man. They spent the entire evening cruise engaged in conversations and "hysterical laughter". After the cruise was over, the walked the streets of Georgetown...stopping in a couple of bars....drinking a few martinis. They ended the evening by exchanging numbers.
Within the next two weeks, the man pursued her relentlessly and she became completely involved quickly. He called her non stop...he sent her gifts at home....he showed up unexpectantly at her job to take her to lunch. At first the attention was welcomed....she had never had a man so "smitten"...but then it began to turn creepy. She went out with me and few other girlfriends on a Friday night...and he showed up at the bar we were at and joined us. He insisted on following her home because it was dark. Needless, to say, the hairs on our heads....weave and all, stood up.
Quickly, we determined this was a stalker. She called if off with the guy but he kept calling and calling and calling.... sometimes until 3 am. She changed her cell phone number and home number but he came by her job pleading for another chance. He would sit outside her house and just watch.
She became frightened and scared to come and go from her home. I insisted she call the police the next time she spotted him outside her home...and she did. When they arrived...he was arrested immediately which was kind of unusual since she did not have a protective order. Come to find out the man had owed back child support, had a suspended license and a domestic violence history.
Ladies...be careful out there...sometimes...to many sparks...can cause a fire.
A friend of mine recently met a man on a DC cruise of Georgetown. Instantly, she felt "magical sparks" when meeting this man. They spent the entire evening cruise engaged in conversations and "hysterical laughter". After the cruise was over, the walked the streets of Georgetown...stopping in a couple of bars....drinking a few martinis. They ended the evening by exchanging numbers.
Within the next two weeks, the man pursued her relentlessly and she became completely involved quickly. He called her non stop...he sent her gifts at home....he showed up unexpectantly at her job to take her to lunch. At first the attention was welcomed....she had never had a man so "smitten"...but then it began to turn creepy. She went out with me and few other girlfriends on a Friday night...and he showed up at the bar we were at and joined us. He insisted on following her home because it was dark. Needless, to say, the hairs on our heads....weave and all, stood up.
Quickly, we determined this was a stalker. She called if off with the guy but he kept calling and calling and calling.... sometimes until 3 am. She changed her cell phone number and home number but he came by her job pleading for another chance. He would sit outside her house and just watch.
She became frightened and scared to come and go from her home. I insisted she call the police the next time she spotted him outside her home...and she did. When they arrived...he was arrested immediately which was kind of unusual since she did not have a protective order. Come to find out the man had owed back child support, had a suspended license and a domestic violence history.
Ladies...be careful out there...sometimes...to many sparks...can cause a fire.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Master Your Fears
Your Momma never told you that your fears are very powerful.
Someone once told me that I have an inviting face....and because of my inviting face...strangers sometimes tell me the story of their lives...without me even asking.
I was at a doctor's office last week when a woman complimented me on my shirt. I told her it was a gift from the man I was seeing...and the sparked a fifteen minute discussion on her man. She told me her man had not gotten her anything in years....he drank...was downright s. After hearing her speak about this man, I asked her if she even liked her man...and she said no...but she did not want to be alone. Where would she live? What would she do? How would she pay for things? Could she be by herself and survive? Would anyone love her?
Ladies..fear can really lead you to make the worse choices....and she had suffered a lot of consequences. She was seeing the doctor for heart palpitations and stress. She looked much older than she really was. She appeared desperate and confused. She was existing but not living. I felt very sad for this woman and encouraged her politely to take better care of herself. But the image of her desperation...has stuck with me. The thing that bothered me the most was that the fear had convinced her that she was stuck...that his was it...that her life was what it was...this man was all she had...and could get.
Ladies...I personally have the same fear of being alone. I have experienced my mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and best friend die. I have less than 10 family member left and that includes me and my children. I can't say I have overcome it...but I do manage it. My fear of being alone will never lead me to be in an abusive relationship.
I know people who fear getting too close to another person because they don't want to get hurt. I know people who fear standing up for themselves because they fear the other person's reaction. I know people who fear being independent or dependent.
Ladies...I wanted to challenged you to find out what your fears are and do all you can to overcome or manage them because fears can lead you to make all types of bad choices.
Till Next Time Ladies
Someone once told me that I have an inviting face....and because of my inviting face...strangers sometimes tell me the story of their lives...without me even asking.
I was at a doctor's office last week when a woman complimented me on my shirt. I told her it was a gift from the man I was seeing...and the sparked a fifteen minute discussion on her man. She told me her man had not gotten her anything in years....he drank...was downright s. After hearing her speak about this man, I asked her if she even liked her man...and she said no...but she did not want to be alone. Where would she live? What would she do? How would she pay for things? Could she be by herself and survive? Would anyone love her?
Ladies..fear can really lead you to make the worse choices....and she had suffered a lot of consequences. She was seeing the doctor for heart palpitations and stress. She looked much older than she really was. She appeared desperate and confused. She was existing but not living. I felt very sad for this woman and encouraged her politely to take better care of herself. But the image of her desperation...has stuck with me. The thing that bothered me the most was that the fear had convinced her that she was stuck...that his was it...that her life was what it was...this man was all she had...and could get.
Ladies...I personally have the same fear of being alone. I have experienced my mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and best friend die. I have less than 10 family member left and that includes me and my children. I can't say I have overcome it...but I do manage it. My fear of being alone will never lead me to be in an abusive relationship.
I know people who fear getting too close to another person because they don't want to get hurt. I know people who fear standing up for themselves because they fear the other person's reaction. I know people who fear being independent or dependent.
Ladies...I wanted to challenged you to find out what your fears are and do all you can to overcome or manage them because fears can lead you to make all types of bad choices.
Till Next Time Ladies
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Celebrate the Days
Your Momma never told you to celebrate the days when you have perfect balance.
Ladies, there is nothing like waking up and having what I call a perfect balance day. It is a day when the following things exist in your life.
A Day of Balance
You are mentally and physically healthy.
You are safe and secure in a home.
You have no financial problems.
Your family is physically and mentally healthy.
No one close to you has committed a crime or is in jail.
You are not grieving anything or anyone.
You have someone to love and who loves you.
When these things exist all in one day....celebrate ladies....because they don't come around too often. Life can throw you so many twist and turns and heartache that you have learn to recognize and celebrate when things are in balance. Sometimes you will have a few of these days clumped together in what I call a "Blessed Season". Whenever I have one of these days or a blessed season, I try to remember to celebrate and not take them for granted. Sometimes I play music and dance or decorate the house with balloons or have an ice cream party with the kids. It does not have to be big...but ladies...don't take these days for granted....learn to celebrate when you are experiencing a "day of balance".
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies, there is nothing like waking up and having what I call a perfect balance day. It is a day when the following things exist in your life.
A Day of Balance
You are mentally and physically healthy.
You are safe and secure in a home.
You have no financial problems.
Your family is physically and mentally healthy.
No one close to you has committed a crime or is in jail.
You are not grieving anything or anyone.
You have someone to love and who loves you.
When these things exist all in one day....celebrate ladies....because they don't come around too often. Life can throw you so many twist and turns and heartache that you have learn to recognize and celebrate when things are in balance. Sometimes you will have a few of these days clumped together in what I call a "Blessed Season". Whenever I have one of these days or a blessed season, I try to remember to celebrate and not take them for granted. Sometimes I play music and dance or decorate the house with balloons or have an ice cream party with the kids. It does not have to be big...but ladies...don't take these days for granted....learn to celebrate when you are experiencing a "day of balance".
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Genie Complex
Your Momma never told you...beware of the Genie Complex.
There used to be an old TV show called I dream a Jeannie. Jeannie was a beautiful genie who lived in a little bottle. She would blink her eyes and pop out of the bottle when her Master named Tony called for her. When she came out...she would grant him his every wish. I used to love this show but looking back on it....I don't recall Jeannie every wanting anything but to make Tony happy and make his dreams come true. I mean..she lived in a bottle for goodness sake...she did not work or have children...she did not have bills or go to school. All she did all day was chase Tony around trying to make him happy.
Ladies, I think sometimes, men think when they go to the alter, they are acquiring a genie. A woman that will look beautiful every day...with the perfect figure...and perfect makeup...who pops around the house making everything perfect. A woman who will grant his every wish...all the days of her life....and ladies...some of us women...believe this is our role also. Ladies, we have all seen an independent woman acquire what I call the Jeannie complex when they get married...even when they are dating. Suddenly, the woman's dreams and desires magical transform into whatever her man wants.
A friend of mine wanted to stay home with her newborn for six months. If her husband and her sacraficed just a little, they could easily survive without her income...unfortunately her husband insisted on her going back to work. He felt women should work....so her thoughts and desires were just ignored...and she of course complied. Another friend of mine wanted to get her hairbraided in a certain style but her husband did not like braided hair. He insisted she keep her hair straight because that is how he liked it...so of course she did. Another friend of mine had a man who wanted his own business...he simply did not want to work an office job...so she took out all of her savings to start his business. Eventually, she spent all her days and nights trying to keep the business afloat...while he...simply watched her. She wanted to support and honor her husband's dreams....I mean...she was his wife or should I say genie. I had a man tell me he wanted a dog...but I was allergic to dogs...so what did I do...buy him a german shepard and sneeze uncontrollably.
Ladies...I am not saying don't please your man...but make sure you don't loose your dreams, desires, health, and mind doing so. Let's face...genies don't exists....partnerships and marriages do.
There used to be an old TV show called I dream a Jeannie. Jeannie was a beautiful genie who lived in a little bottle. She would blink her eyes and pop out of the bottle when her Master named Tony called for her. When she came out...she would grant him his every wish. I used to love this show but looking back on it....I don't recall Jeannie every wanting anything but to make Tony happy and make his dreams come true. I mean..she lived in a bottle for goodness sake...she did not work or have children...she did not have bills or go to school. All she did all day was chase Tony around trying to make him happy.
Ladies, I think sometimes, men think when they go to the alter, they are acquiring a genie. A woman that will look beautiful every day...with the perfect figure...and perfect makeup...who pops around the house making everything perfect. A woman who will grant his every wish...all the days of her life....and ladies...some of us women...believe this is our role also. Ladies, we have all seen an independent woman acquire what I call the Jeannie complex when they get married...even when they are dating. Suddenly, the woman's dreams and desires magical transform into whatever her man wants.
A friend of mine wanted to stay home with her newborn for six months. If her husband and her sacraficed just a little, they could easily survive without her income...unfortunately her husband insisted on her going back to work. He felt women should work....so her thoughts and desires were just ignored...and she of course complied. Another friend of mine wanted to get her hairbraided in a certain style but her husband did not like braided hair. He insisted she keep her hair straight because that is how he liked it...so of course she did. Another friend of mine had a man who wanted his own business...he simply did not want to work an office job...so she took out all of her savings to start his business. Eventually, she spent all her days and nights trying to keep the business afloat...while he...simply watched her. She wanted to support and honor her husband's dreams....I mean...she was his wife or should I say genie. I had a man tell me he wanted a dog...but I was allergic to dogs...so what did I do...buy him a german shepard and sneeze uncontrollably.
Ladies...I am not saying don't please your man...but make sure you don't loose your dreams, desires, health, and mind doing so. Let's face...genies don't exists....partnerships and marriages do.
Monday, August 16, 2010
It's Mine
Your Momma never told you...don't marry someone who does not know how to share.
Ladies..I was surprised to find out that everyone does not have the ability to share. I thought this skill was taught very early on...at 2 - 5 years of age...but sadly...I was wrong. There are many men out there that simply can not and will not share. Now, like me, you may not have placed a lot of emphasis on finding out if someone can share. You may have just assumed, like me, everyone has the ability...but ladies..you have to test your man to see if he can share. If he fails the tests, run...run....because if he did not learn it at age 3...he won't learn it at age 30. Here are a few test to try.
1. If you are out to dinner, ask your man if you can have a taste of his food. (For example, a piece of his dessert) If he says, hey why don't I just order you one....ring, ring, ring...pick up the clue phone...He does not share.
2. Ask your man to borrow his umbrella for a future rain event. Tell him it is supposed to rain later that day or the following day. If he refuses or tells you to buy one on the way home...watch out...he can not share.
3. Tell your man your car is disabled and you need to borrow his car for a few hours. If he refuses, insists your rent a car, makes up excuses for you not to drive it, or rearranges his schedule so he can drive you around...watch out....he may not be able to share. Now, ladies I realize a car is a big one...but hey, this is your man. If he won't share his ride...you have a problem.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies..I was surprised to find out that everyone does not have the ability to share. I thought this skill was taught very early on...at 2 - 5 years of age...but sadly...I was wrong. There are many men out there that simply can not and will not share. Now, like me, you may not have placed a lot of emphasis on finding out if someone can share. You may have just assumed, like me, everyone has the ability...but ladies..you have to test your man to see if he can share. If he fails the tests, run...run....because if he did not learn it at age 3...he won't learn it at age 30. Here are a few test to try.
1. If you are out to dinner, ask your man if you can have a taste of his food. (For example, a piece of his dessert) If he says, hey why don't I just order you one....ring, ring, ring...pick up the clue phone...He does not share.
2. Ask your man to borrow his umbrella for a future rain event. Tell him it is supposed to rain later that day or the following day. If he refuses or tells you to buy one on the way home...watch out...he can not share.
3. Tell your man your car is disabled and you need to borrow his car for a few hours. If he refuses, insists your rent a car, makes up excuses for you not to drive it, or rearranges his schedule so he can drive you around...watch out....he may not be able to share. Now, ladies I realize a car is a big one...but hey, this is your man. If he won't share his ride...you have a problem.
Till Next Time Ladies
Friday, August 13, 2010
Our House Is Not on Fire
Your Momma never told you....know when your house is on fire and when it is not.
In the past two weeks, I have been dealing with a number of family issues. These issues deal with a nutty ex and a nutty ex – in law. Without getting into the whole story, let’s just say neither is behaving at their best. My family and I have been upset by this behavior and complaining about our problems to one another. We really began to wallow in our problems and let them over take us. We kept saying could it get any worse?….and wouldn’t you know….God answered….oh yes it can be worse. I was shown in two instances how my problems could be a whole lot worse.
First, at a prayer meeting I attended recently, many people stood up to ask for prayer. Some were sick, some were dealing with a death in the family, one person’s brother had been murdered, another woman had lost her home and her job and had been diagnosed with a serious illness…it was really overwhelming. When you hear people such despair…it really put my problems…or so called problems in perspective. After hearing everyone speak, I was embarrassed to stand up and talk about my problem As a matter of fact, I was no longer upset about my problem but thankful for my problem. Now ladies….it was a problem…don’t get me wrong…but compared to the life fires that I had just heard about...it was something I could handle.
Second, the other day we awoke to a terrible thunderstorm. Lightning and thunder were crashing all around our house….the kids were scared but I assured them we were in our house and we were safe. Just then lightning hit the house across the street. In minutes, the house was engulfed in flames and burned straight to the ground. (It was vacant and for sale). The kids became panicked and swore our house was going to burn down too….and to be honest…I went into a panic myself. I started dialing 911 and running around in circles. It really was not my best "calm" Mommy moment. My daughter fell to her knees and began praying to the Lord to save us….even though our house was not on fire. She thought lightning was going to strike again…and that we were next. I went to her and told her to thank the Lord...because we were safe. I calmed every down including myself… as I realized….our house was NOT on fire…in other words…we were fine. I assured my children that we had a blanket of protection around us and we were safe.
As I drove to work later that day...I started to think what if our house had burned down....what would have been lost, where would we have gone, what would we have done. Ladies, I learned real quick to be thankful for my problems....because it could be a lot worse. I was shown that we really had no problems….in an instant we could have lost our home, our belongings, and most important each other….in an instant we could loose our health or be a victim of crime but as of today….we were fine. After those experiences, I thanked God for the problems I had….because in comparison to how it could be….we were doing just fine....and our house is NOT on fire.
Till Next Time Ladies.
In the past two weeks, I have been dealing with a number of family issues. These issues deal with a nutty ex and a nutty ex – in law. Without getting into the whole story, let’s just say neither is behaving at their best. My family and I have been upset by this behavior and complaining about our problems to one another. We really began to wallow in our problems and let them over take us. We kept saying could it get any worse?….and wouldn’t you know….God answered….oh yes it can be worse. I was shown in two instances how my problems could be a whole lot worse.
First, at a prayer meeting I attended recently, many people stood up to ask for prayer. Some were sick, some were dealing with a death in the family, one person’s brother had been murdered, another woman had lost her home and her job and had been diagnosed with a serious illness…it was really overwhelming. When you hear people such despair…it really put my problems…or so called problems in perspective. After hearing everyone speak, I was embarrassed to stand up and talk about my problem As a matter of fact, I was no longer upset about my problem but thankful for my problem. Now ladies….it was a problem…don’t get me wrong…but compared to the life fires that I had just heard about...it was something I could handle.
Second, the other day we awoke to a terrible thunderstorm. Lightning and thunder were crashing all around our house….the kids were scared but I assured them we were in our house and we were safe. Just then lightning hit the house across the street. In minutes, the house was engulfed in flames and burned straight to the ground. (It was vacant and for sale). The kids became panicked and swore our house was going to burn down too….and to be honest…I went into a panic myself. I started dialing 911 and running around in circles. It really was not my best "calm" Mommy moment. My daughter fell to her knees and began praying to the Lord to save us….even though our house was not on fire. She thought lightning was going to strike again…and that we were next. I went to her and told her to thank the Lord...because we were safe. I calmed every down including myself… as I realized….our house was NOT on fire…in other words…we were fine. I assured my children that we had a blanket of protection around us and we were safe.
As I drove to work later that day...I started to think what if our house had burned down....what would have been lost, where would we have gone, what would we have done. Ladies, I learned real quick to be thankful for my problems....because it could be a lot worse. I was shown that we really had no problems….in an instant we could have lost our home, our belongings, and most important each other….in an instant we could loose our health or be a victim of crime but as of today….we were fine. After those experiences, I thanked God for the problems I had….because in comparison to how it could be….we were doing just fine....and our house is NOT on fire.
Till Next Time Ladies.
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