Your Momma never told you send cards on days other than birthdays.
The other day I was feeling absolutely depressed. My kids are with my ex for two weeks and I have to say...I miss them terribly. I have not been able to talk to them like I had hoped and I have not been able to see them so I am in a state of withdrawal.
As much as they drive me crazy is as much as I need them close. I was feeling so sad when my boyfriend came by with a Hallmark card. The card was titled....He Listens. The card gave me comfort and hope. The card let me know that I always had a shoulder to lean on in God. My boyfriend wrote a note that he will always be there for me as well. It was such a big boost to me. I don't know what was more inspiring...the card or the act of giving by my boyfriend.
My point ladies...it only takes a few moments to give someone a card. It is one of the most sincere gifts you can give to another person. So the next time you want to show someone you care...or that you are thinking of them....send them a card. You will be surprised how good you both will feel.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Moisturizer and Red Wine
Your Momma never told you the way to have great skin is moisturizer and red wine.
Ladies...I just came from my quarterly trip to Sephora. I just love that store because you can try all types of make up on just for fun. As a side note, it is a great place to take your daughter to about glamour and makeup. Even if your daughter is too young to wear makeup...there is nothing wrong with letting her try a little eyeshadow on with her Mommy. It is great fun.
Anyway, at Sephora, I ran into a woman from my church. She has to be about seventy but her skin has no wrinkles. I asked her to tell me what she buys to keep her skin so fresh...and coincidentally it was a product I love called Hope in a Jar(moisturizer). Ladies...she said moisturizer is the key to keeping the wrinkles at bay and I believed her. I immediately purchase a large jar of Hope in a Jar and the midrodelivery purifying peel (for an extra boost). I sped home because I wanted to apply the moisturizer immediately. The moment I put it on... I could tell it was working so I decided to celebrate.
I pulled the bottle of red wine in the refridgerator that my girlfriend gave me for my birthday and began to pour a glass when I remembered something her mother said. Her mother also in her seventies has not aged a day since I met her 20 plus years ago. Her skin is fantastic...and she had told me her secret years ago. Red wine....a glass or a mini jug every day.
And there you go ladies...the secret to great skin...moisturizer and red wine. You heard it hear first.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies...I just came from my quarterly trip to Sephora. I just love that store because you can try all types of make up on just for fun. As a side note, it is a great place to take your daughter to about glamour and makeup. Even if your daughter is too young to wear makeup...there is nothing wrong with letting her try a little eyeshadow on with her Mommy. It is great fun.
Anyway, at Sephora, I ran into a woman from my church. She has to be about seventy but her skin has no wrinkles. I asked her to tell me what she buys to keep her skin so fresh...and coincidentally it was a product I love called Hope in a Jar(moisturizer). Ladies...she said moisturizer is the key to keeping the wrinkles at bay and I believed her. I immediately purchase a large jar of Hope in a Jar and the midrodelivery purifying peel (for an extra boost). I sped home because I wanted to apply the moisturizer immediately. The moment I put it on... I could tell it was working so I decided to celebrate.
I pulled the bottle of red wine in the refridgerator that my girlfriend gave me for my birthday and began to pour a glass when I remembered something her mother said. Her mother also in her seventies has not aged a day since I met her 20 plus years ago. Her skin is fantastic...and she had told me her secret years ago. Red wine....a glass or a mini jug every day.
And there you go ladies...the secret to great skin...moisturizer and red wine. You heard it hear first.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Who is the S___?
Your Momma never told you....men can be sluts.
I was at my homecoming a few years ago and I ran into my old boyfriend. He was a cute little guy back then but the years had clearly taken a toll. Sadly, it appeared that he had continued the beer drinking and teenage fun every day since college. You know how men look when they have been drinking significantly...the skin is wrinkled...the coloring is off...the eyes are permanently glazed with a pink hue...but all in all it was great to see him. He was a real funny sincere person...at least that is what I remembered.
We traded a few marriage/divorce/life stories for about 15 minutes while standing in a crowd of thousands. Then came the....let me treat you like slut move.
The next thing he says is....how about we "hook up" (meaning go have sex) later in my hotel room. Screech.....halt. Okay...is it me...but why do old flames think after 10, 15, even 20 years...that you are interested in them physically and want to be treated like a street slut. I mean....children have been born, careers have taken off, parents have died....significant things have happened. What on earth?!
Getting back to the story, my jaw dropped and I said "You're kidding right." Ladies...do you know he was serious. I was shocked...I had no idea where he had been or who he had been with....I didn't know where he worked or what he did...I did not know where he lived or even his phone number....and clearly from his approach to me...no flowers, no candy, no card, no dinner, no drink, no alumni gift....just spread your legs...he had been plenty of places.
Needless to stay....me and my legs...walked away....stunned. I guess I should have been flattered he found me half way attractive after all of these years but I don't think it mattered. He wanted to relive his youth with the first woman he recognized from college days.
Ladies...I know this type of incident has not just happened to me....I have heard plenty of stories of men who appear from nowhere and want to get busy. Just remember, when a man wants to treat you like a slut...he most likely is one. Run!
I was at my homecoming a few years ago and I ran into my old boyfriend. He was a cute little guy back then but the years had clearly taken a toll. Sadly, it appeared that he had continued the beer drinking and teenage fun every day since college. You know how men look when they have been drinking significantly...the skin is wrinkled...the coloring is off...the eyes are permanently glazed with a pink hue...but all in all it was great to see him. He was a real funny sincere person...at least that is what I remembered.
We traded a few marriage/divorce/life stories for about 15 minutes while standing in a crowd of thousands. Then came the....let me treat you like slut move.
The next thing he says is....how about we "hook up" (meaning go have sex) later in my hotel room. Screech.....halt. Okay...is it me...but why do old flames think after 10, 15, even 20 years...that you are interested in them physically and want to be treated like a street slut. I mean....children have been born, careers have taken off, parents have died....significant things have happened. What on earth?!
Getting back to the story, my jaw dropped and I said "You're kidding right." Ladies...do you know he was serious. I was shocked...I had no idea where he had been or who he had been with....I didn't know where he worked or what he did...I did not know where he lived or even his phone number....and clearly from his approach to me...no flowers, no candy, no card, no dinner, no drink, no alumni gift....just spread your legs...he had been plenty of places.
Needless to stay....me and my legs...walked away....stunned. I guess I should have been flattered he found me half way attractive after all of these years but I don't think it mattered. He wanted to relive his youth with the first woman he recognized from college days.
Ladies...I know this type of incident has not just happened to me....I have heard plenty of stories of men who appear from nowhere and want to get busy. Just remember, when a man wants to treat you like a slut...he most likely is one. Run!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Make a Decision
Your Momma never told you...do not fear other people's reactions to your decisions.
I can remember years ago, I wanted to be a broadcaster....so when I went to pick a major in college...I told my parents I wanted to major in Communications and Mass Media. My parents told me that was not a good idea because at that time there were very few channels on TV. (This was before cable) They said it was unlikely that I would ever get on TV and insisted I major in accounting because I was excellent in Math.
During my freshman year, I wanted to change my major. I wanted to be a news broadcaster or radio broadcaster but I feared my parents reaction...so I did not do it. I did what I was told and majored in accounting.
To this day, I regret that decision. I realized that I should have stood up to my parents and made a decision for me...regardless of their reaction...and lived with the consequences.
Ladies....make the decisions for your life for you...do not let the fear of another person's reactions...whether it be your husband, your children, your friends, your family, your boss, your co-workers or your parents....keep you from doing you.
Till Next Time Ladies
I can remember years ago, I wanted to be a broadcaster....so when I went to pick a major in college...I told my parents I wanted to major in Communications and Mass Media. My parents told me that was not a good idea because at that time there were very few channels on TV. (This was before cable) They said it was unlikely that I would ever get on TV and insisted I major in accounting because I was excellent in Math.
During my freshman year, I wanted to change my major. I wanted to be a news broadcaster or radio broadcaster but I feared my parents reaction...so I did not do it. I did what I was told and majored in accounting.
To this day, I regret that decision. I realized that I should have stood up to my parents and made a decision for me...regardless of their reaction...and lived with the consequences.
Ladies....make the decisions for your life for you...do not let the fear of another person's reactions...whether it be your husband, your children, your friends, your family, your boss, your co-workers or your parents....keep you from doing you.
Till Next Time Ladies
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
How To Keep Cool While Keeping It Hot
Your Momma never told you...a heatwave can give you the opportunity to get cool with your man.
Ladies...we are in midst of one of the hottest summers ever recorded. It is going to be over 100 degrees today....and there is no sign of relief. These hot days are going to persist into the month of August so I got to thinking of fun ways to keep cool with my man...while keeping it hot. Here are some suggestions ladies....
1. Tubing - Harper's Ferry, WV offers a great fun way to keep cool while having a lot of fun with your man. Roughly an hour away from DC....this hidden cove offers a lot of water sports for you and your man. Go tubing down the lake holding hands. This is a fantastic way to beat the hot sun while keeping it hot between you and your man....and there is nothing like an adventure to pump up the sparks.
2. Ice Cube Rub - One late evening, lie naked with your man and treat your him to an ice cube rub....trust me he will want to recipricate. Watch him shakes and quivers as you rub the ice all over his muscles (let's remain hopeful that he has some ladies).
3. Human Ice Cream Sundae - Well...this is self explanatory...need I say more....I recommend avoid any favors with hard items such as nuts or cookies...keep it simple.
4. Skimpy Swim - Ladies...put on your skimpiest or form fitting swimsuit and go to the pool. You may say...but I am out of shape...who cares...you got a man that is holding onto you every night...he seems to like it. Besides...skimpy swim suits make us feel sexy. Oh...and don't forget to insist your man where a speedo. Now the skimpy swim can be hot or it can be absolutely hilarious...either way...it is can seve as a great aphrodisiac.
5. Midnight Shower - Set your alarm clocks ladies...and wake your man up for a cool down joint shower at midnight. This spontaneous jolt will have your man cooled down and fired up all at once. Rub scented soaps on each other and build up the lather. When the shower is over...time for the lotion and rub down...at this point ladies...get ready for the time of your life...your man will be wide awake...and you know what that means.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies...we are in midst of one of the hottest summers ever recorded. It is going to be over 100 degrees today....and there is no sign of relief. These hot days are going to persist into the month of August so I got to thinking of fun ways to keep cool with my man...while keeping it hot. Here are some suggestions ladies....
1. Tubing - Harper's Ferry, WV offers a great fun way to keep cool while having a lot of fun with your man. Roughly an hour away from DC....this hidden cove offers a lot of water sports for you and your man. Go tubing down the lake holding hands. This is a fantastic way to beat the hot sun while keeping it hot between you and your man....and there is nothing like an adventure to pump up the sparks.
2. Ice Cube Rub - One late evening, lie naked with your man and treat your him to an ice cube rub....trust me he will want to recipricate. Watch him shakes and quivers as you rub the ice all over his muscles (let's remain hopeful that he has some ladies).
3. Human Ice Cream Sundae - Well...this is self explanatory...need I say more....I recommend avoid any favors with hard items such as nuts or cookies...keep it simple.
4. Skimpy Swim - Ladies...put on your skimpiest or form fitting swimsuit and go to the pool. You may say...but I am out of shape...who cares...you got a man that is holding onto you every night...he seems to like it. Besides...skimpy swim suits make us feel sexy. Oh...and don't forget to insist your man where a speedo. Now the skimpy swim can be hot or it can be absolutely hilarious...either way...it is can seve as a great aphrodisiac.
5. Midnight Shower - Set your alarm clocks ladies...and wake your man up for a cool down joint shower at midnight. This spontaneous jolt will have your man cooled down and fired up all at once. Rub scented soaps on each other and build up the lather. When the shower is over...time for the lotion and rub down...at this point ladies...get ready for the time of your life...your man will be wide awake...and you know what that means.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Friday, July 23, 2010
SHHHHHH!
Your Momma never told you....silence is an answer.
I don't know when it started but for some reason I have always thought I was required give a response or full explanation when someone asked me something. But over time I have come to realize...no answer is an answer. Sometimes....giving a response of silence...says way more than trying to stumble through an explanation....that quite frankly...I don't feel like giving.
For example, this morning my daughter asked me two times to go to the store to buy her playing cards. I told her I did not have time to get cards this morning and the answer was no. She persisted. Finally, she asked again and I just looked at her and responded with silence. Suddenly, it dawned on her...my mother is not going to get the cards...nor is she going to discuss this any further. My daughter actually responded to my silence with an "ok"....and walked away.
This type of response also works with men as well...I remember when I was married...I shared a bathroom with my daughters while my ex had his own bathroom...the master. I always cleaned the bathroom I shared with the girls but I left him to clean his own. One day he saw me cleaning and said when are you going to clean my bathroom?....I responded with silence. He softened it by saying...I mean if you are cleaning...you could clean my bathroom also. I again responded in silence. You see the reason we did not share a bathroom was because when I cleaned it..he would immediately destroy it. We were constantly fighting about cleaning it...so I gave up. So in my mind...why should I get into this again...it is over...there is no need to give a response. Needless to say, he left it alone.
Ladies...remember...you don't have to be harrassed, bullied, or coerced into giving a responsed that you don't want to or need to. Remember silence is also a response.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I don't know when it started but for some reason I have always thought I was required give a response or full explanation when someone asked me something. But over time I have come to realize...no answer is an answer. Sometimes....giving a response of silence...says way more than trying to stumble through an explanation....that quite frankly...I don't feel like giving.
For example, this morning my daughter asked me two times to go to the store to buy her playing cards. I told her I did not have time to get cards this morning and the answer was no. She persisted. Finally, she asked again and I just looked at her and responded with silence. Suddenly, it dawned on her...my mother is not going to get the cards...nor is she going to discuss this any further. My daughter actually responded to my silence with an "ok"....and walked away.
This type of response also works with men as well...I remember when I was married...I shared a bathroom with my daughters while my ex had his own bathroom...the master. I always cleaned the bathroom I shared with the girls but I left him to clean his own. One day he saw me cleaning and said when are you going to clean my bathroom?....I responded with silence. He softened it by saying...I mean if you are cleaning...you could clean my bathroom also. I again responded in silence. You see the reason we did not share a bathroom was because when I cleaned it..he would immediately destroy it. We were constantly fighting about cleaning it...so I gave up. So in my mind...why should I get into this again...it is over...there is no need to give a response. Needless to say, he left it alone.
Ladies...remember...you don't have to be harrassed, bullied, or coerced into giving a responsed that you don't want to or need to. Remember silence is also a response.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Three Things You Own
Your Momma never told you that you only truly own three things...your mind, body, and spirit....so don't give them away.
I was watching the movie The Runaway Bride...a movie about a woman who conforms to thinking like the man she is currently dating. If he liked hiking...she did ...if he liked scrambled eggs...she did...if he got a tattoo...she did. In other words, her thoughts, wants, and desires were based solely on her man (at the time). After watching this movie...I got to thinking about how many women give up the three things they are given at birth...truly the only things they own...their mind, body, and spirit...willingly to a man.
I was reminded of a old friend I recently saw at a local mall. The last time I had spent any time with this woman, she was a vibrant, beautiful, and smart....however, on this day...she appeared withdrawn, sad, worn out, and controlled. It became clear after a few sentences, she had given her mind, body, and spirit over to the man she was dating. I tried to talk to her but her man was lurking in the background. She looked completely broken and desperate. All I could do scribble my number on a piece of paper and plead with her to call me.
Ladies...I know you know what I am talking about...we all know someone that gets so caught up in their man...they become isolated and lost. If they used to go to church, they stop...after all their man doesn't go...If they hate bowling...suddenly they are on a traveling bowling league...after all their man loves to bowl...if they had a lot of girlfriends...suddenly...they never see them...they are too busy with their man. Essentially, they become unrecognizable...a shell of the woman they were designed to be.
Ladies...let's wake up...keep control of your mind, body, and spirit. Don't give them over to anyone to control or manipulate. Hold on to your morals, values, beliefs, interests, friends, family, joys, etc. As a matter of fact, spend time each day feeding and nurturing your mind, body, and spirit....that keeps you strong. And ladies... if you see a girlfriend starting to hand the three things she owns to a man...be sure to jump up and down and scream and shout...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Till Next Time Ladies
I was watching the movie The Runaway Bride...a movie about a woman who conforms to thinking like the man she is currently dating. If he liked hiking...she did ...if he liked scrambled eggs...she did...if he got a tattoo...she did. In other words, her thoughts, wants, and desires were based solely on her man (at the time). After watching this movie...I got to thinking about how many women give up the three things they are given at birth...truly the only things they own...their mind, body, and spirit...willingly to a man.
I was reminded of a old friend I recently saw at a local mall. The last time I had spent any time with this woman, she was a vibrant, beautiful, and smart....however, on this day...she appeared withdrawn, sad, worn out, and controlled. It became clear after a few sentences, she had given her mind, body, and spirit over to the man she was dating. I tried to talk to her but her man was lurking in the background. She looked completely broken and desperate. All I could do scribble my number on a piece of paper and plead with her to call me.
Ladies...I know you know what I am talking about...we all know someone that gets so caught up in their man...they become isolated and lost. If they used to go to church, they stop...after all their man doesn't go...If they hate bowling...suddenly they are on a traveling bowling league...after all their man loves to bowl...if they had a lot of girlfriends...suddenly...they never see them...they are too busy with their man. Essentially, they become unrecognizable...a shell of the woman they were designed to be.
Ladies...let's wake up...keep control of your mind, body, and spirit. Don't give them over to anyone to control or manipulate. Hold on to your morals, values, beliefs, interests, friends, family, joys, etc. As a matter of fact, spend time each day feeding and nurturing your mind, body, and spirit....that keeps you strong. And ladies... if you see a girlfriend starting to hand the three things she owns to a man...be sure to jump up and down and scream and shout...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Till Next Time Ladies
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Old Love Remix
Your Momma Never Told You to keep your eyes open when it comes to old loves.
With the new social networks that are available these days....ladies...old loves can pop up at moments notice. Some old loves we want to forget immediately...we defriend them or prevent them from finding us.
Some old loves can be intriguing because they remind us of our youth, of a time where all we had to worry about was ourselves, and of a time where we were pleasantly naive. When these old loves appear...we remember the laughs, the silliness, the fun, the carefree attitude...we once possessed before life happened to us. So ladies, if you decided to hook up with one of these old loves...it is important to keep in mind a few things.
1. Years Have Passed - The fact is ladies....years have past. The person you knew years ago...may not be the same person today. Marriage, divorce, addictions, and who knows what could have occurred in this person's life. These types of events can change a person for the better or for the worst...so take the time to get to know the person again.
2. You Have Changed - Most likely ladies, you are a very different person than you were five, ten, fifteen years ago. Your values and morales may have been reshaped...your needs and wants may be very different...your attitude about certain things may be completely developed....based on your experiences...so take the time to let the person know you again.
3. Enjoy the Past - The one great thing about old loves...they remember the good parts of you...sometime the parts you have forgotten. They can tell stories and recount events...that you may have just pushed way back in your memory. I remember a scene out of one of my favorite movies...The Notebook...where Noah sets up a paint studio for his young love...when she returned...she had forgotten she loved to paint...life had stolen that part of her away. It was a past love that reminded her of her gift...and he restored it for her.
4. Stay In the Present - Don't get so caught up in what happened previously that you don't understand what is going on today. In other words, live in the reality of today. Your old love could be downright crazy. He may be a womanizer. He may be an abuser. He may be disturbed....or ladies...he could just be a lot of fun and very sweet. Who knows...just keep your eyes open and aware.
Till Next Time Ladies
With the new social networks that are available these days....ladies...old loves can pop up at moments notice. Some old loves we want to forget immediately...we defriend them or prevent them from finding us.
Some old loves can be intriguing because they remind us of our youth, of a time where all we had to worry about was ourselves, and of a time where we were pleasantly naive. When these old loves appear...we remember the laughs, the silliness, the fun, the carefree attitude...we once possessed before life happened to us. So ladies, if you decided to hook up with one of these old loves...it is important to keep in mind a few things.
1. Years Have Passed - The fact is ladies....years have past. The person you knew years ago...may not be the same person today. Marriage, divorce, addictions, and who knows what could have occurred in this person's life. These types of events can change a person for the better or for the worst...so take the time to get to know the person again.
2. You Have Changed - Most likely ladies, you are a very different person than you were five, ten, fifteen years ago. Your values and morales may have been reshaped...your needs and wants may be very different...your attitude about certain things may be completely developed....based on your experiences...so take the time to let the person know you again.
3. Enjoy the Past - The one great thing about old loves...they remember the good parts of you...sometime the parts you have forgotten. They can tell stories and recount events...that you may have just pushed way back in your memory. I remember a scene out of one of my favorite movies...The Notebook...where Noah sets up a paint studio for his young love...when she returned...she had forgotten she loved to paint...life had stolen that part of her away. It was a past love that reminded her of her gift...and he restored it for her.
4. Stay In the Present - Don't get so caught up in what happened previously that you don't understand what is going on today. In other words, live in the reality of today. Your old love could be downright crazy. He may be a womanizer. He may be an abuser. He may be disturbed....or ladies...he could just be a lot of fun and very sweet. Who knows...just keep your eyes open and aware.
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Husband Material Part 2
Your Momma never told you that not every man is husband material.
Ladies, as I said yesterday, after experiencing several failed relationships, I realized my selection process was extremely poor and uninformed. So ladies, you can learn from my mistakes. So here is Part 2 of the characteristics a man needs to be considered husband material.
Husband Material
6. Spiritual Awareness - A man must believe there is a higher power that he must answer to. He must have a faith to rely on when things do not go well. He must know the difference between right and wrong. He must be willing to grow his faith and serve as the spiritual leader of the family. Do not marry a non-religious man and expect him to suddenly start going to church and to find Jesus. It most likely will not happen anytime soon...if at all.
7. Words Match Actions - A man must do what he says he is going to do. He must be a man of integrity. His words must be something that can be relied upon. He must handle his business. He must be trustworthy, speak clearly, and honest. Word salads, mind games, deliberate vagueness, unclear intentions, and downright deception...does not equal a ring on your finger.
8. Expresses Love in Word and Deeds - A man must not only say he loves you...he must show it through his actions and behaviors. Hand holding, kisses, and displays of affection are wonderful...AND so is caring for you when you are sick....so is making sure the bills are paid...so is letting you sleep in while he takes care of the kids. A man's behavior and actions should exemplify his love for you.
9. Show Respect for himself and others- A man must show respect for himself by behaving as a grown up. He must value the creation of his own family. He must carry himself with dignity and have pride in his appearance. He must respect you, your family, your friend relationships, your children, and your work. He must have his own goals but honor your seperate goals...and be willing to help you achieve them. A man who tries to sabatoge or minimize your goals is childish and disrespectful. A man who tries to isolate you from your family or friends is immature and selfish. A man who disrespects your relationship and time with your children...well...enough said....not husband material.
10. Love of Life - A man must have an energetic positive spirit. He must believe in lifelong learning. He must want to try new things and experience new adventures. He must view life as precious and something to be treasured. He must find the humor in life...he must laugh, dance, and be able to play. A man who unhappy with his life or has not achieved his goals....a man who is grumpy and negative....and dissatisfied...is no fun. And watch out if you are happy and successful...it will only piss him off. He will spend most of his time trying to rain and thunderstorm on your parade.
Ladies...I did not mention he should be sexy or hot or good looking or fit because if a man has these ten characteristics....all of those things should exist or magically appear. Conversely, if all he has is good looks and a sexy body, while that is fun to enjoy....it is not marriage material. A man who has these ten characteristics is a long term definite keeper...his strength and beauty will shine through!
Till Next Time Ladies...and for those who are looking...tell me if you find one!
Ladies, as I said yesterday, after experiencing several failed relationships, I realized my selection process was extremely poor and uninformed. So ladies, you can learn from my mistakes. So here is Part 2 of the characteristics a man needs to be considered husband material.
Husband Material
6. Spiritual Awareness - A man must believe there is a higher power that he must answer to. He must have a faith to rely on when things do not go well. He must know the difference between right and wrong. He must be willing to grow his faith and serve as the spiritual leader of the family. Do not marry a non-religious man and expect him to suddenly start going to church and to find Jesus. It most likely will not happen anytime soon...if at all.
7. Words Match Actions - A man must do what he says he is going to do. He must be a man of integrity. His words must be something that can be relied upon. He must handle his business. He must be trustworthy, speak clearly, and honest. Word salads, mind games, deliberate vagueness, unclear intentions, and downright deception...does not equal a ring on your finger.
8. Expresses Love in Word and Deeds - A man must not only say he loves you...he must show it through his actions and behaviors. Hand holding, kisses, and displays of affection are wonderful...AND so is caring for you when you are sick....so is making sure the bills are paid...so is letting you sleep in while he takes care of the kids. A man's behavior and actions should exemplify his love for you.
9. Show Respect for himself and others- A man must show respect for himself by behaving as a grown up. He must value the creation of his own family. He must carry himself with dignity and have pride in his appearance. He must respect you, your family, your friend relationships, your children, and your work. He must have his own goals but honor your seperate goals...and be willing to help you achieve them. A man who tries to sabatoge or minimize your goals is childish and disrespectful. A man who tries to isolate you from your family or friends is immature and selfish. A man who disrespects your relationship and time with your children...well...enough said....not husband material.
10. Love of Life - A man must have an energetic positive spirit. He must believe in lifelong learning. He must want to try new things and experience new adventures. He must view life as precious and something to be treasured. He must find the humor in life...he must laugh, dance, and be able to play. A man who unhappy with his life or has not achieved his goals....a man who is grumpy and negative....and dissatisfied...is no fun. And watch out if you are happy and successful...it will only piss him off. He will spend most of his time trying to rain and thunderstorm on your parade.
Ladies...I did not mention he should be sexy or hot or good looking or fit because if a man has these ten characteristics....all of those things should exist or magically appear. Conversely, if all he has is good looks and a sexy body, while that is fun to enjoy....it is not marriage material. A man who has these ten characteristics is a long term definite keeper...his strength and beauty will shine through!
Till Next Time Ladies...and for those who are looking...tell me if you find one!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Husband Material Part 1
Your Momma never told you that not every man is husband material.
Ladies, after experiencing several failed relationships, I realized my selection process was extremely poor and uninformed. I guess I just did not realize the seriousness of the choices I was making. So ladies, you can learn from my mistakes. So here is Part 1 of the characteristics a man needs to be considered husband material.
Husband Material
1. Independent - A man must be successfully living on his own without help from Mom. He must have his own place. He must work. He must pay his bills on time. He must be able to care for himself. Men who are living at home want you to take over Mommy's role....run, run, run.
2. Confident - A man must have high self esteem...not arrogance....but he should feel good about his life and his accomplishments. And ladies...there must be some accomplishments...career, education, etc....to be proud of.
3. Anger Free - A man must have healed from any childhood anger and disappointments. Men who are still mad at their mothers or fathers...have a hard time with relationships. You will soon find that his anger is directed at you.
4. Financially Aware - Most relationships break up because of money disagreements. A man must have an awareness of how money works, the importance of credit, and what a savings account means. Some men believe savings is an option....or to be used to by him only on a big ticket item every month.
5. Self Control - A man must exhibit self control...as it relates to women, money, addictive substances, porn, lying, and emotions....just to name a few. Ladies, this is very important because self control is the one of the hardest characteristics to access in a man. You must watch his behaviors very carefully to determine if your man has control over his impulses. If you marry a man with little self control...you will be in a constant battle....for control...and you will not win.
I will finish up tomorrow ladies...
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies, after experiencing several failed relationships, I realized my selection process was extremely poor and uninformed. I guess I just did not realize the seriousness of the choices I was making. So ladies, you can learn from my mistakes. So here is Part 1 of the characteristics a man needs to be considered husband material.
Husband Material
1. Independent - A man must be successfully living on his own without help from Mom. He must have his own place. He must work. He must pay his bills on time. He must be able to care for himself. Men who are living at home want you to take over Mommy's role....run, run, run.
2. Confident - A man must have high self esteem...not arrogance....but he should feel good about his life and his accomplishments. And ladies...there must be some accomplishments...career, education, etc....to be proud of.
3. Anger Free - A man must have healed from any childhood anger and disappointments. Men who are still mad at their mothers or fathers...have a hard time with relationships. You will soon find that his anger is directed at you.
4. Financially Aware - Most relationships break up because of money disagreements. A man must have an awareness of how money works, the importance of credit, and what a savings account means. Some men believe savings is an option....or to be used to by him only on a big ticket item every month.
5. Self Control - A man must exhibit self control...as it relates to women, money, addictive substances, porn, lying, and emotions....just to name a few. Ladies, this is very important because self control is the one of the hardest characteristics to access in a man. You must watch his behaviors very carefully to determine if your man has control over his impulses. If you marry a man with little self control...you will be in a constant battle....for control...and you will not win.
I will finish up tomorrow ladies...
Till Next Time Ladies.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Cheater, Cheater...Pumpkin Eater
Your Momma never told you the five signs your man may be cheating.
1. A Sinking Feeling. If you suddenly start to think to yourself..."Is he cheating?" take it seriously. As I said before, women have intuition and internal senses that register when something just is not right. If you get this feeling, start to investigate.
2. The Good Samaritan. If your man all of sudden becomes a good samaritan...wanting to help a troubled friends with various problems...start to investigate. He may start needing to help people move for four hours...or help someone with car problems....or pick up someone from work...or help someone through a divorce....or maybe his sister has problems....whatever...if these good samaritan efforts become consistent...investigate. He may be needing blocks of time to carry on another relationship.
3. Constant texting and won't put the cell phone down. If your man loves to text in your presence...watch out. His attention should be solely on you. He may be covering his tracks by texting another woman and caring on a relationship right under your nose. If he carries his cell everywhere includig the bathroom or shower...start to investigate...we all love technology but that is taking it too far...something may be up.
4. Unprovoked arguments. Men like women...can be drama queens. You may end up in an argument for no good reason...as a result you are not speaking or refuse to see him...and that is just what he wants. If he starts an argument over the phone...insist on meeting face to face...argue in person...at least you will know where he is.
5. Refuses to meet your friends or go out. This type of man wants to be undercover. He does not want to be out and about because he may run into someone that knows he is a dog. If he only wants to meet at night, refuses to go to a big local event...like a festival or concert...or has an excuse everytime there is a family event to not attend...watch out...you may be with an Undercover Brother. Hell...he may even be dating your cousin....just keeping it real ladies.
Till Next Time Ladies
1. A Sinking Feeling. If you suddenly start to think to yourself..."Is he cheating?" take it seriously. As I said before, women have intuition and internal senses that register when something just is not right. If you get this feeling, start to investigate.
2. The Good Samaritan. If your man all of sudden becomes a good samaritan...wanting to help a troubled friends with various problems...start to investigate. He may start needing to help people move for four hours...or help someone with car problems....or pick up someone from work...or help someone through a divorce....or maybe his sister has problems....whatever...if these good samaritan efforts become consistent...investigate. He may be needing blocks of time to carry on another relationship.
3. Constant texting and won't put the cell phone down. If your man loves to text in your presence...watch out. His attention should be solely on you. He may be covering his tracks by texting another woman and caring on a relationship right under your nose. If he carries his cell everywhere includig the bathroom or shower...start to investigate...we all love technology but that is taking it too far...something may be up.
4. Unprovoked arguments. Men like women...can be drama queens. You may end up in an argument for no good reason...as a result you are not speaking or refuse to see him...and that is just what he wants. If he starts an argument over the phone...insist on meeting face to face...argue in person...at least you will know where he is.
5. Refuses to meet your friends or go out. This type of man wants to be undercover. He does not want to be out and about because he may run into someone that knows he is a dog. If he only wants to meet at night, refuses to go to a big local event...like a festival or concert...or has an excuse everytime there is a family event to not attend...watch out...you may be with an Undercover Brother. Hell...he may even be dating your cousin....just keeping it real ladies.
Till Next Time Ladies
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Throw a Dinner Party
Your Momma never told you to throw a dinner party.
Ladies...how many of us have beautiful china sitting in the cabinet collecting dust? How many of us have fancy sets of silverware just waiting to be used? What about the crystal stemware...when was the last time you used it?
Well ladies, it is time to reconnect again and promote human contact. While the texting, emailing, facebooking, and social networking is great...I like to see people face to face. Last night I threw a dinner party in honor of a friend who has made a big change in her life for the better. I was so proud of her that I said...let's have a dinner party. I invited a few friends and spent all day preparing the meal and the table with the china and stemware. It was such a treat.
We all had a great time laughing and telling the stories that make up our lives. My friend really appreciated the dinner and I enjoyed celebrating her. I can't think of a better way to spend an evening....ladies.
Ladies...start to planning a dinner party...invite a view friends just for fun or think of a way to celebrate another person's successes...or you could celebrate yourself!
Till Next Time Ladies!
Ladies...how many of us have beautiful china sitting in the cabinet collecting dust? How many of us have fancy sets of silverware just waiting to be used? What about the crystal stemware...when was the last time you used it?
Well ladies, it is time to reconnect again and promote human contact. While the texting, emailing, facebooking, and social networking is great...I like to see people face to face. Last night I threw a dinner party in honor of a friend who has made a big change in her life for the better. I was so proud of her that I said...let's have a dinner party. I invited a few friends and spent all day preparing the meal and the table with the china and stemware. It was such a treat.
We all had a great time laughing and telling the stories that make up our lives. My friend really appreciated the dinner and I enjoyed celebrating her. I can't think of a better way to spend an evening....ladies.
Ladies...start to planning a dinner party...invite a view friends just for fun or think of a way to celebrate another person's successes...or you could celebrate yourself!
Till Next Time Ladies!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Design Your Life
Your Momma did not tell you to take time to design your life.
Recently, I spent a few days redesigning my daughter's bedroom while she was with my ex. I hung corner shelves and cube boxes on the walls. I took cleaned out her closet and organized her clothes. I labeled and organized her drawers. I hung a hook for her book bag and coat. I did all of this in an effort to make her life easier and more organized. I looked at what she needed to do each day and I determined what would help her manage her life better....and then I got to thinking.
Ladies...I decided to spend time designing my life. I started to think how I wanted to live, where I wanted to live, where I wanted to vacation, who I wanted in my life, what I wanted to learn, what I wanted to teach my daughters, and how I wanted to be remembered. I realized during my 20's and 30's I kinda of stumbled through life...just falling into situations. I really did not take the time to determine how I wanted to live and then subsequently make a clear path to get to it. I would not call those years wasted...but I would say I did not make the most out of those years.
Well no more ladies...I have begun to consciously design my life. I have spent a significant amount of time determining how I want to live each day.
For example, I love water...the pool, the ocean, the bath, the shower, the rain. Water brings me peace...so I make sure to incorporate these things in my life by making them valued experiences. I travel regularly to the pool and a variety of beaches. I spend time creating extreme bubble baths and I am currently shopping for the perfect showerhead to increase my shower experience. When it rains, I curl up on the sofa with a great book or movie...or I get in bed with my children and just listen to the rain falling. While these things may seem minor....they give me energy and joy....a fantastic shower helps me start and end the day feeling fantastic.
My design includes how I design my home, how I eat, who I associate with, where I work, what I learn and read, what I am going to teach, where I am going to go, what I enjoy, how I care for myself and my children each day. It is not routine or something I just get up and do....but a designed plan...it is my way of life. My life is becoming completely based on what I love and what fulfills me.
Ladies...don't stumble through each day and just exist each day....spinning in circles...or just doing, doing, doing....take time to design your life...and enjoy.
Recently, I spent a few days redesigning my daughter's bedroom while she was with my ex. I hung corner shelves and cube boxes on the walls. I took cleaned out her closet and organized her clothes. I labeled and organized her drawers. I hung a hook for her book bag and coat. I did all of this in an effort to make her life easier and more organized. I looked at what she needed to do each day and I determined what would help her manage her life better....and then I got to thinking.
Ladies...I decided to spend time designing my life. I started to think how I wanted to live, where I wanted to live, where I wanted to vacation, who I wanted in my life, what I wanted to learn, what I wanted to teach my daughters, and how I wanted to be remembered. I realized during my 20's and 30's I kinda of stumbled through life...just falling into situations. I really did not take the time to determine how I wanted to live and then subsequently make a clear path to get to it. I would not call those years wasted...but I would say I did not make the most out of those years.
Well no more ladies...I have begun to consciously design my life. I have spent a significant amount of time determining how I want to live each day.
For example, I love water...the pool, the ocean, the bath, the shower, the rain. Water brings me peace...so I make sure to incorporate these things in my life by making them valued experiences. I travel regularly to the pool and a variety of beaches. I spend time creating extreme bubble baths and I am currently shopping for the perfect showerhead to increase my shower experience. When it rains, I curl up on the sofa with a great book or movie...or I get in bed with my children and just listen to the rain falling. While these things may seem minor....they give me energy and joy....a fantastic shower helps me start and end the day feeling fantastic.
My design includes how I design my home, how I eat, who I associate with, where I work, what I learn and read, what I am going to teach, where I am going to go, what I enjoy, how I care for myself and my children each day. It is not routine or something I just get up and do....but a designed plan...it is my way of life. My life is becoming completely based on what I love and what fulfills me.
Ladies...don't stumble through each day and just exist each day....spinning in circles...or just doing, doing, doing....take time to design your life...and enjoy.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Are you smarter than a man?
Your Momma never told you...you are just as smart or smarter than a man.
Ladies...have you ever sat back and watched your man make a dumb decision? Have you ever wanted to stomp your feet and scream at the top of your lungs....I told you so!!!? (But didn't because you did not want to make a bad situation worst,)Have you started to grow wrinkles on your forehead because you walk around with a confused look...because of your man's ridiculous decisions? Have you ever seen your man throw money out the window for no good reason...and then turn around and give you a speech on the importance of saving?
Well ladies...join the club....it is time for us to recognize that we are as smart or smarter than our man. It is a fact ladies...that most women take their time to think and research a topic...prior to making a decision. It is a fact that woman are born with a certain set of instincts and intuition that men simply do not possess. It is also a fact that women tend to discuss options with others....weigh the pros and cons...prior to making a decision...therefore, we tend to have better decision making skills then most men.
So what do we do ladies....sadly nothing...these creatures called men...are hopeless. If you try to give them advice, you will get the your not my mother speech....or your may get the you are controlling speech. If you insist on a course of action that he does not agree with...count on him doing the exact opposite. If you keep bringing the issue up, count on being completely ignored....or you might even get the ok...I will do it your way speech...and then he will walk out the door and do what he wants to do.
I know it sounds crazy but this is how men operate. All you can do is make one effort to give advice...if a miracle occurs and he takes it...great. If not, be there to pick up the pieces when the glass falls off the table and shatters on the floor. Ladies..it may take awhile to get up all the pieces, you may get a cut, you may have to get some glue to put the glass back together, or you may need to throw the glass away all together....but when it is all said and done...have a quiet little laugh and say to yourself...I am smart!
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...have you ever sat back and watched your man make a dumb decision? Have you ever wanted to stomp your feet and scream at the top of your lungs....I told you so!!!? (But didn't because you did not want to make a bad situation worst,)Have you started to grow wrinkles on your forehead because you walk around with a confused look...because of your man's ridiculous decisions? Have you ever seen your man throw money out the window for no good reason...and then turn around and give you a speech on the importance of saving?
Well ladies...join the club....it is time for us to recognize that we are as smart or smarter than our man. It is a fact ladies...that most women take their time to think and research a topic...prior to making a decision. It is a fact that woman are born with a certain set of instincts and intuition that men simply do not possess. It is also a fact that women tend to discuss options with others....weigh the pros and cons...prior to making a decision...therefore, we tend to have better decision making skills then most men.
So what do we do ladies....sadly nothing...these creatures called men...are hopeless. If you try to give them advice, you will get the your not my mother speech....or your may get the you are controlling speech. If you insist on a course of action that he does not agree with...count on him doing the exact opposite. If you keep bringing the issue up, count on being completely ignored....or you might even get the ok...I will do it your way speech...and then he will walk out the door and do what he wants to do.
I know it sounds crazy but this is how men operate. All you can do is make one effort to give advice...if a miracle occurs and he takes it...great. If not, be there to pick up the pieces when the glass falls off the table and shatters on the floor. Ladies..it may take awhile to get up all the pieces, you may get a cut, you may have to get some glue to put the glass back together, or you may need to throw the glass away all together....but when it is all said and done...have a quiet little laugh and say to yourself...I am smart!
Till Next Time Ladies
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Be a Woman of Your Word
Your Momma never told you, in order to be respected, you must be a woman of your word.
Ladies...have you ever had a friend that never comes through? If you have a party, she says she will be there...and then never comes....never calls. Maybe she says she is going to stop by on the way to the mall around 3:00 pm and you wait and wait and wait....and at 8:00 pm...she calls and says she got side tracked and won't be coming. She may insist on bringing the dessert to a family get together...and then show ups with nothing. And...she is the friend that says....I will call you right back in 10 minutes....and you never hear from her for several months....until she needs something.
This type of woman always has an excuse for her poor behavior...traffic, kids, relatives, car trouble, slow clerks at the store....etc. Sometimes...she does not even bother to give and excuse...what for? You learn over time to just ignore what she says...because her words have no value. She is someone that you don't trust or count on.
And then there is the other type of woman that is a woman of her word. When she says she will be there....she is there 10 minutes early. If she calls and says she will be at3:00 pm...she is there at 2:50 pm. If you ask her to bring a pie to the cookout ....she shows up with two. Bottom line...you can count on her...every time. Ladies....a woman of her word...keeps her promises and exceeds expectations. She says what she means and means what she says. She is trustworthy and relaible. She is someone that you value and respect.
Now ladies...ask herself...what type of woman are you?
Ladies..if you are a woman of your word....fantastic. If you are not....make a change and start being a woman that can be counted on by showing up and coming through on your promises. It all depends on...who you want to be.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...have you ever had a friend that never comes through? If you have a party, she says she will be there...and then never comes....never calls. Maybe she says she is going to stop by on the way to the mall around 3:00 pm and you wait and wait and wait....and at 8:00 pm...she calls and says she got side tracked and won't be coming. She may insist on bringing the dessert to a family get together...and then show ups with nothing. And...she is the friend that says....I will call you right back in 10 minutes....and you never hear from her for several months....until she needs something.
This type of woman always has an excuse for her poor behavior...traffic, kids, relatives, car trouble, slow clerks at the store....etc. Sometimes...she does not even bother to give and excuse...what for? You learn over time to just ignore what she says...because her words have no value. She is someone that you don't trust or count on.
And then there is the other type of woman that is a woman of her word. When she says she will be there....she is there 10 minutes early. If she calls and says she will be at3:00 pm...she is there at 2:50 pm. If you ask her to bring a pie to the cookout ....she shows up with two. Bottom line...you can count on her...every time. Ladies....a woman of her word...keeps her promises and exceeds expectations. She says what she means and means what she says. She is trustworthy and relaible. She is someone that you value and respect.
Now ladies...ask herself...what type of woman are you?
Ladies..if you are a woman of your word....fantastic. If you are not....make a change and start being a woman that can be counted on by showing up and coming through on your promises. It all depends on...who you want to be.
Till Next Time Ladies
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Deal Breakers
Your Momma never told you that you will need to establish deal breakers in your relationship.
Ladies...there are certain behaviors that you must not tolerate when living in a exclusive committed relationship and/or marriage. When you get into a committed relationship and/or marriage, you must let your partner know your list of deal breakers in a very clear and consise way.
Deal breakers let your partner know what your boundaries are. By establishing deal breakers up front and early in the relationship, you are letting your partner know what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate...and when you will declare the deal of committment and marriage over.
Here is a standard deal breaker list that every woman should adhere to...
1. Sexual Intercourse with another person. If your man has engaged or is engaging in sexual intercourse outside of your relationship, you are in a dangerous situation both mentally and physically. This type of behavior is is dangerous because of the possible transmission of disease as you are or have been sleeping with a third person. In addition, it shows a severe lack of respect for you and your family. A marriage is between one woman and one man when someone else is introduced....the original marriage is over.
2. Addictions - Addictions of any kind can not be accepted in a marriage. Alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, etc. ...introduce another set of dangerous challenges to a marriage that you originally did not sign up for. Infidelity, financial instability, and violent behavior often occur when someone is experiencing an addicition. While there is nothing wrong with initiating getting helping for your man...this is a deal breaker because you and your family will be subjected to dangerous and destructive behavior.
3. Other Children Outside of the Marriage/Relationship - If at some point during your exclusive committed relationship, your man conceives a child with someone other than you, the relationship is no longer respectful or loving. In addiction, your man has continuously put you in physically and mentally dangerous situation. Ladies...do not tolerate this behavior or take it personally. This type of behavior is indicative of a man with a lack of character.
4. Any type of Abuse - Ladies learn and read about the different types of abuse...emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. It is important to understand the definition of each in order to identify abusive behaviors. Yelling, hitting, spitting, smashing things, lying, manipulating, undermining, instilling fear, keeping secrets, intimidating, witholding, gaslighting, crazy making...are just a few examples of behaviors that occur during abuse. Any form of abuse is a deal breaker.
Ladies, let your man know what your deal breakers are clearly. If this behavior occurs, be prepared to take action by breaking the deal of the committed relationship or marriage, and moving on. Do not compromise your morals, your health, or your values. Do not spend your life being disrespected, unloved, and mistreated.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...there are certain behaviors that you must not tolerate when living in a exclusive committed relationship and/or marriage. When you get into a committed relationship and/or marriage, you must let your partner know your list of deal breakers in a very clear and consise way.
Deal breakers let your partner know what your boundaries are. By establishing deal breakers up front and early in the relationship, you are letting your partner know what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate...and when you will declare the deal of committment and marriage over.
Here is a standard deal breaker list that every woman should adhere to...
1. Sexual Intercourse with another person. If your man has engaged or is engaging in sexual intercourse outside of your relationship, you are in a dangerous situation both mentally and physically. This type of behavior is is dangerous because of the possible transmission of disease as you are or have been sleeping with a third person. In addition, it shows a severe lack of respect for you and your family. A marriage is between one woman and one man when someone else is introduced....the original marriage is over.
2. Addictions - Addictions of any kind can not be accepted in a marriage. Alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, etc. ...introduce another set of dangerous challenges to a marriage that you originally did not sign up for. Infidelity, financial instability, and violent behavior often occur when someone is experiencing an addicition. While there is nothing wrong with initiating getting helping for your man...this is a deal breaker because you and your family will be subjected to dangerous and destructive behavior.
3. Other Children Outside of the Marriage/Relationship - If at some point during your exclusive committed relationship, your man conceives a child with someone other than you, the relationship is no longer respectful or loving. In addiction, your man has continuously put you in physically and mentally dangerous situation. Ladies...do not tolerate this behavior or take it personally. This type of behavior is indicative of a man with a lack of character.
4. Any type of Abuse - Ladies learn and read about the different types of abuse...emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. It is important to understand the definition of each in order to identify abusive behaviors. Yelling, hitting, spitting, smashing things, lying, manipulating, undermining, instilling fear, keeping secrets, intimidating, witholding, gaslighting, crazy making...are just a few examples of behaviors that occur during abuse. Any form of abuse is a deal breaker.
Ladies, let your man know what your deal breakers are clearly. If this behavior occurs, be prepared to take action by breaking the deal of the committed relationship or marriage, and moving on. Do not compromise your morals, your health, or your values. Do not spend your life being disrespected, unloved, and mistreated.
Till Next Time Ladies
Friday, July 9, 2010
Nurture your Friendships
Your Momma never told you...friendships need to be nurtured over time.
Ladies...I just got back from a beautiful resort hotel in Atlantic City where I had a fantastic spa getaway with a girlfriend from college. We decided to just get a room for a night...spend time talking, getting treatments, laying by the pool, drinking cocktails, eating fine food, shopping, and catching up on old times.
It took a lot of planning and coordinating of kids,schedules,family, pre-planned vacations, and work...but we found a date and stuck to it. I can not tell you how I was looking forward to seeing her and hearing about what is going on in her world....while laying by the pool of course. We spent hours and hours just talking about life, our children, our past, our disappointments, our families, our successes, and hopes for the future. It was amazing....I learned so much from our conversations.
My point...ladies...if you want to keep your friendships intact....you have to be willing to put the work in to keep them going. No matter how long you have been friends with someone...it is important to make time to sit down and spend time with them. A text here or there...or an email here or there...does not cut it. You have to commit to getting together face to face in order to maintain and nurture a friendship. You never know how much you may need them...or how much they may need you.
Ladies...we get so busy in our lives with our children, homes, husbands, and families...that sometimes forget to show how much we value our frienships. We simply forget to nuture our friendships with our girlfriends. So ladies...get to work and start to make spa dates, movie dates, dinner dates...without the kids...without the husbands...and take time to be a true friend to a friend.
Till Next Time Ladies.....
Ladies...I just got back from a beautiful resort hotel in Atlantic City where I had a fantastic spa getaway with a girlfriend from college. We decided to just get a room for a night...spend time talking, getting treatments, laying by the pool, drinking cocktails, eating fine food, shopping, and catching up on old times.
It took a lot of planning and coordinating of kids,schedules,family, pre-planned vacations, and work...but we found a date and stuck to it. I can not tell you how I was looking forward to seeing her and hearing about what is going on in her world....while laying by the pool of course. We spent hours and hours just talking about life, our children, our past, our disappointments, our families, our successes, and hopes for the future. It was amazing....I learned so much from our conversations.
My point...ladies...if you want to keep your friendships intact....you have to be willing to put the work in to keep them going. No matter how long you have been friends with someone...it is important to make time to sit down and spend time with them. A text here or there...or an email here or there...does not cut it. You have to commit to getting together face to face in order to maintain and nurture a friendship. You never know how much you may need them...or how much they may need you.
Ladies...we get so busy in our lives with our children, homes, husbands, and families...that sometimes forget to show how much we value our frienships. We simply forget to nuture our friendships with our girlfriends. So ladies...get to work and start to make spa dates, movie dates, dinner dates...without the kids...without the husbands...and take time to be a true friend to a friend.
Till Next Time Ladies.....
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Don't Wing It In Bed
Ladies...your Momma never told you...don't wing it in bed.
Ok. Ladies...I am going to go there. When it comes to sex...two things...know what satisfies you and teach your man how to please you. Don't wing it in bed and hope for the best....chances are... he will get his...and you will still be waiting to get yours days, weeks, sometimes months later. And ladies don't ever fake it...don't let him think he is doing a great job when in fact you just have decided your tired and ready to go to sleep.
Ladies..get educated on new techniques and methods. Read, take online courses, study, and experiment (safely)...in order to know exactly what you like and how to experience intimate pleasure and fullfillment. Be sure to talk to your man and let him know what to do to please you. Don't hold back or be afraid you are hurting his feelings by telling him how to do something or how to get you excited. Every person is made differently and therefore a man will need to learn what you like and what you don't like in bed. Don't just lay there and go with whatever he decides to do and pretend to like it. You are doing you and him a disservice by not being honest.
Why is this important?...because ladies....you most likely will have sex over 30 - 50 years of your adult life. That's right ladies....years and years and years of sex with your husband or significant other. Over and over and over you will participate in having sex....so you better make it interesting and satisfying for you. If you are going to be participating in something for 30 or 40 or 50 years...don't you think you should know everything there is to know about it....and shouldn't your man know a thing or two. Thirty years is a long time to be clueless and dissatisfied with a partner that has not been educated by you on what to do.
Ask your man to join you in reading a book or two on the subject and take the time to try new things. One warning...if you approach your man with this subject and he gets overly freaky...you may need to back off. Make sure you set your boundaries. If you suggest to your man that the two of you start learning more about sex and trying new things...he may think that is a signal to invite a neighbor over to join or pull out a whip or chains. Be careful to let him know the goal is to bring the two of you closer and experience the joy of sharing each other physically for all the years to come....not to turn you into a porn star.
Till Next Time Ladies...
Ok. Ladies...I am going to go there. When it comes to sex...two things...know what satisfies you and teach your man how to please you. Don't wing it in bed and hope for the best....chances are... he will get his...and you will still be waiting to get yours days, weeks, sometimes months later. And ladies don't ever fake it...don't let him think he is doing a great job when in fact you just have decided your tired and ready to go to sleep.
Ladies..get educated on new techniques and methods. Read, take online courses, study, and experiment (safely)...in order to know exactly what you like and how to experience intimate pleasure and fullfillment. Be sure to talk to your man and let him know what to do to please you. Don't hold back or be afraid you are hurting his feelings by telling him how to do something or how to get you excited. Every person is made differently and therefore a man will need to learn what you like and what you don't like in bed. Don't just lay there and go with whatever he decides to do and pretend to like it. You are doing you and him a disservice by not being honest.
Why is this important?...because ladies....you most likely will have sex over 30 - 50 years of your adult life. That's right ladies....years and years and years of sex with your husband or significant other. Over and over and over you will participate in having sex....so you better make it interesting and satisfying for you. If you are going to be participating in something for 30 or 40 or 50 years...don't you think you should know everything there is to know about it....and shouldn't your man know a thing or two. Thirty years is a long time to be clueless and dissatisfied with a partner that has not been educated by you on what to do.
Ask your man to join you in reading a book or two on the subject and take the time to try new things. One warning...if you approach your man with this subject and he gets overly freaky...you may need to back off. Make sure you set your boundaries. If you suggest to your man that the two of you start learning more about sex and trying new things...he may think that is a signal to invite a neighbor over to join or pull out a whip or chains. Be careful to let him know the goal is to bring the two of you closer and experience the joy of sharing each other physically for all the years to come....not to turn you into a porn star.
Till Next Time Ladies...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Don't Accept Crumbs
Your Momma never told you...don't accept crumbs from your man.
Ladies...have you ever felt like you come in line after the job, the house, the kids, the dog, friends, parties, chores, and sports. Are you exhausted from trying to keep the house, the job, the kids, and your man in order? Do you look in the mirror and say...how the hell did I get here? Does your man look well rested and put together while you seem to be falling apart at the seams?
Ladies...wake up...you are accepting crumbs from your man. Why is your man just giving you crumbs and not a whole piece of bread? Sometimes it is his ambition, sometimes it is his laziness, sometimes he is simply unaware...but most times...it is because you have not required your man to give you all of his energy and time to you and the family. Most times, you have chosen to do way more than you physically and mentally can handle. You may have put your foot down once or twice...but eventually gave up hold him accountable....and you let him get away with not living up to his promises.
Most times, we women, do not want to admit...we really can not do it all and that we need help managing all of the tasks that go along with having a career, home, family, children, and a husband.
So what do we do ladies...how do we get our man to stop giving crumbs and start to give more. Ladies....we start asking and requiring.
I was having a discussion with a man I am seeing about potentially living together or getting married. When I brought up the subject of chores...he said..."Well I don't like getting down on my knees or scrubbing bathrooms..."...I stopped him right there and replied...."What makes you think I like it to clean other people's funk and dirt off of tubs...but it has to be done". He looked at me in complete confusion.
You see ladies...he is just like most men....they honestly think they can pick and choose what they want to do while you do what is required. NO! NO! Ladies...give them a wake up call. Make a list of everything that needs to be done each day...and ask him to do his fair share. Fair share is 50% or more ladies....it is not 10 or 25%....or what he wants to do. Once you get a committment...you must hold him accountable and remind him of his committment to help. You must not jump in, assist or do the chore because he will ultimately lose respect for you...and simply not take you seriously.
Ladies...don't accept crumbs...tell you man you need him...you need his help...that you can not do it all. Your man may surprise you.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Ladies...have you ever felt like you come in line after the job, the house, the kids, the dog, friends, parties, chores, and sports. Are you exhausted from trying to keep the house, the job, the kids, and your man in order? Do you look in the mirror and say...how the hell did I get here? Does your man look well rested and put together while you seem to be falling apart at the seams?
Ladies...wake up...you are accepting crumbs from your man. Why is your man just giving you crumbs and not a whole piece of bread? Sometimes it is his ambition, sometimes it is his laziness, sometimes he is simply unaware...but most times...it is because you have not required your man to give you all of his energy and time to you and the family. Most times, you have chosen to do way more than you physically and mentally can handle. You may have put your foot down once or twice...but eventually gave up hold him accountable....and you let him get away with not living up to his promises.
Most times, we women, do not want to admit...we really can not do it all and that we need help managing all of the tasks that go along with having a career, home, family, children, and a husband.
So what do we do ladies...how do we get our man to stop giving crumbs and start to give more. Ladies....we start asking and requiring.
I was having a discussion with a man I am seeing about potentially living together or getting married. When I brought up the subject of chores...he said..."Well I don't like getting down on my knees or scrubbing bathrooms..."...I stopped him right there and replied...."What makes you think I like it to clean other people's funk and dirt off of tubs...but it has to be done". He looked at me in complete confusion.
You see ladies...he is just like most men....they honestly think they can pick and choose what they want to do while you do what is required. NO! NO! Ladies...give them a wake up call. Make a list of everything that needs to be done each day...and ask him to do his fair share. Fair share is 50% or more ladies....it is not 10 or 25%....or what he wants to do. Once you get a committment...you must hold him accountable and remind him of his committment to help. You must not jump in, assist or do the chore because he will ultimately lose respect for you...and simply not take you seriously.
Ladies...don't accept crumbs...tell you man you need him...you need his help...that you can not do it all. Your man may surprise you.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Monday, July 5, 2010
Marry an L7
Your Momma never told you...date Mr. Fun but marry an L7.
I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about where we went wrong in chosing our first husbands. After a brief talk we concluded we should have chosen an L7 instead Mr. Fun.
That's right ladies...if you are dating a man who is so much fun...loves people and a lot of action....loves to be out and about...makes you laugh and is the life of the party....all the time....watch out. Why you may ask?
Because ladies...Mr. Party never stops partying...the party never ends...after the marriage...after kids....he is still partying. He is the guy that everyone knows when he arrives...the party had begun. Everybody loves him...and he is friendly to a fault. Who wouldn't want fun all the time, right? Wrong ladies. You do not want fun....all the time. All those laughs and good times...suddenly turn irrating and immature when the baby comes and bills are due. Dating a Mr. Fun is fine...but marriage...I don't thinks so....find an L7.
Ladies...what is an L7? Ladies make an L with your right hand and a seven with your left...put them together and it forms a square. An L7 is another term for a square.
Now an L7...stays home....he reads...he watches TV on the couch AT HOME...he goes to church...he goes to work and comes home for dinner...he has a few good close friends but your his closest friend. He goes to a party but is he isn't the party. He is kinda of shy until you get to know him. He is loyal and trustworthy. He is fun sometimes and he is boring sometimes...but that is ok....because ladies...you won't have to drag him out the titty bar at 1:00 am with your baby in tow. You won't have to wonder when he is coming home after work...if at all. You won't have to worry about him getting embarrassingly drunk and making an ass out of himself. You won't have to worry him turning up with a baby by someone other than you. And you won't have to deal with a bunch of his obnoxious friends both male and female...hanging around your house waiting for another party to begin. Get the picture...L7 is the one to marry.
That's right ladies...don't go for Mr. Fun because the fun won't go on forever. Ladies...find an L7...and live happily ever after in peace and quiet.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about where we went wrong in chosing our first husbands. After a brief talk we concluded we should have chosen an L7 instead Mr. Fun.
That's right ladies...if you are dating a man who is so much fun...loves people and a lot of action....loves to be out and about...makes you laugh and is the life of the party....all the time....watch out. Why you may ask?
Because ladies...Mr. Party never stops partying...the party never ends...after the marriage...after kids....he is still partying. He is the guy that everyone knows when he arrives...the party had begun. Everybody loves him...and he is friendly to a fault. Who wouldn't want fun all the time, right? Wrong ladies. You do not want fun....all the time. All those laughs and good times...suddenly turn irrating and immature when the baby comes and bills are due. Dating a Mr. Fun is fine...but marriage...I don't thinks so....find an L7.
Ladies...what is an L7? Ladies make an L with your right hand and a seven with your left...put them together and it forms a square. An L7 is another term for a square.
Now an L7...stays home....he reads...he watches TV on the couch AT HOME...he goes to church...he goes to work and comes home for dinner...he has a few good close friends but your his closest friend. He goes to a party but is he isn't the party. He is kinda of shy until you get to know him. He is loyal and trustworthy. He is fun sometimes and he is boring sometimes...but that is ok....because ladies...you won't have to drag him out the titty bar at 1:00 am with your baby in tow. You won't have to wonder when he is coming home after work...if at all. You won't have to worry about him getting embarrassingly drunk and making an ass out of himself. You won't have to worry him turning up with a baby by someone other than you. And you won't have to deal with a bunch of his obnoxious friends both male and female...hanging around your house waiting for another party to begin. Get the picture...L7 is the one to marry.
That's right ladies...don't go for Mr. Fun because the fun won't go on forever. Ladies...find an L7...and live happily ever after in peace and quiet.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Don't Tattoo Your Breasts - Repost
Your Momma did not tell you ...don't tattoo your breasts...or any other visible area of your body.
Ok Ladies...as a Blogger, I am all for freedom of expression...but my goodness, what on earth are two large colorful butterflies tattooed atop sagging breasts saying. When I saw this sight riding on the Circulator in DC all I could do was hope the butterflies would miraculously come to life and fly away.
A very small tattoo in a hidden area is a fun surprise for your mate to find but tattoos on you shoulders, arms, legs, or breasts have got to go. The fad is over or better yet...let's kill it. Unless your name is Bombshell or Skittles Valentine...don't get a permanent tattoo. Tattoos send a hidden message and it is not good.
If you have to have a tattoo....get a Henna Tattoo...it fades over a short period of time. The last thing you want is the snake tattoo you got in your twenties...to follow you into your forties, and beyond. A snake on an older woman is just not cute....Think ahead ladies!
I have seen paw prints, dragons, stars, moons, Chinese symbols tattooed on women in many different visible places...and I just don't get it. And don't wear low - rise jeans to show everyone you have a tattoo on your lower back or your ass...enough already! I don't want to see it ladies...and neither does anyone else. The worst is when I see a man's name tattoed on a woman...how ridiculous.
Ladies we live in America...people break up every other day. The chances of that man being around as long as that tattoo (David)is on your body is pretty slim to none. Why waste your money on a man's name as a tattoo when you could have a good pair of shoes or a Coach purse that will last much longer than a man?
If you want to put a name, put the name of someone you can count on...someone you can trust until you die...yours. (But make it small and not visible to strangers)
Til Next Time Ladies! 5/19/10 by Ms. Tia Delete
‹Newer 26 – 50 of 81 Older › Oldest »
Ok Ladies...as a Blogger, I am all for freedom of expression...but my goodness, what on earth are two large colorful butterflies tattooed atop sagging breasts saying. When I saw this sight riding on the Circulator in DC all I could do was hope the butterflies would miraculously come to life and fly away.
A very small tattoo in a hidden area is a fun surprise for your mate to find but tattoos on you shoulders, arms, legs, or breasts have got to go. The fad is over or better yet...let's kill it. Unless your name is Bombshell or Skittles Valentine...don't get a permanent tattoo. Tattoos send a hidden message and it is not good.
If you have to have a tattoo....get a Henna Tattoo...it fades over a short period of time. The last thing you want is the snake tattoo you got in your twenties...to follow you into your forties, and beyond. A snake on an older woman is just not cute....Think ahead ladies!
I have seen paw prints, dragons, stars, moons, Chinese symbols tattooed on women in many different visible places...and I just don't get it. And don't wear low - rise jeans to show everyone you have a tattoo on your lower back or your ass...enough already! I don't want to see it ladies...and neither does anyone else. The worst is when I see a man's name tattoed on a woman...how ridiculous.
Ladies we live in America...people break up every other day. The chances of that man being around as long as that tattoo (David)is on your body is pretty slim to none. Why waste your money on a man's name as a tattoo when you could have a good pair of shoes or a Coach purse that will last much longer than a man?
If you want to put a name, put the name of someone you can count on...someone you can trust until you die...yours. (But make it small and not visible to strangers)
Til Next Time Ladies! 5/19/10 by Ms. Tia Delete
‹Newer 26 – 50 of 81 Older › Oldest »
Friday, July 2, 2010
Butt Crack Rebellion
Your Momma never told you that one day you will have to lead a butt crack rebellion.
Ladies...I was riding home from a baseball game the other night with my boyfriend and his daughter. It was a lovely summer evening and we had a great time at the game. While sitting at the light, a motorcycle pulled up abruptly. There was a man and a woman sitting on the motorcyle with her arms around him....and then suddenly...we all saw a frightening nasty sight. The woman had on too small....low rise jeans....which exposed a large portion of her butt crack to all of Baltimore City. EWWWWWW! Everyone said in unison in the car...and all I could think was why are women exposing themselves like this. I began to roll down my window with frantic motions and my boyfriend stopped me. I told him...I have got to say something...he looked at me as if I were crazy and drove off as the light turned green. After all we were in Baltimore City at 1:00 am.
Ladies...what is going on here?! Since when is showing your butt crack acceptable. This woman bike rider should have just took her pants completely off and rode "bare back". The pants she had on had become completely useless. She was practically wearing her pants as socks.
Ladies...it was then I decided I am going to start a butt crack rebellion. I had initially said that you should not say anything to a stranger if her butt crack is showing but no more...this has got to stop. So if you see a woman showing her butt crack...and you feel safe...simply tap her on the shoulder and say..."Miss...did you know your butt crack is showing?"
Be polite and concerned...because ladies....I am convinced either these women do not know they are exposing the most hideous parts of their bodies or they are unaware showing your butt crack is socially unacceptable. Something is very wrong!
Ladies...help rid our culture of butt crack exposure...stand up for our rights to walk down a street and not be exposed to butt cracks.
Till next time ladies.
Ladies...I was riding home from a baseball game the other night with my boyfriend and his daughter. It was a lovely summer evening and we had a great time at the game. While sitting at the light, a motorcycle pulled up abruptly. There was a man and a woman sitting on the motorcyle with her arms around him....and then suddenly...we all saw a frightening nasty sight. The woman had on too small....low rise jeans....which exposed a large portion of her butt crack to all of Baltimore City. EWWWWWW! Everyone said in unison in the car...and all I could think was why are women exposing themselves like this. I began to roll down my window with frantic motions and my boyfriend stopped me. I told him...I have got to say something...he looked at me as if I were crazy and drove off as the light turned green. After all we were in Baltimore City at 1:00 am.
Ladies...what is going on here?! Since when is showing your butt crack acceptable. This woman bike rider should have just took her pants completely off and rode "bare back". The pants she had on had become completely useless. She was practically wearing her pants as socks.
Ladies...it was then I decided I am going to start a butt crack rebellion. I had initially said that you should not say anything to a stranger if her butt crack is showing but no more...this has got to stop. So if you see a woman showing her butt crack...and you feel safe...simply tap her on the shoulder and say..."Miss...did you know your butt crack is showing?"
Be polite and concerned...because ladies....I am convinced either these women do not know they are exposing the most hideous parts of their bodies or they are unaware showing your butt crack is socially unacceptable. Something is very wrong!
Ladies...help rid our culture of butt crack exposure...stand up for our rights to walk down a street and not be exposed to butt cracks.
Till next time ladies.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Soulmate Love Part 2
Your Momma never told you...you may meet a soulmate that settles you and brings you peace.
Ladies...we have talked about the type of soulmate love that stirs you up and sets you on fire. Now let's discuss the second type of soulmate. The second type of soulmate love occurs when you meet someone that settles you down.
When you meet this person, there may be fire and sparks but it is not an out of control feeling. You will have a unique connection with this person. This person will have characteristics that you don't have but ones that you will need to grow. This person will encourage you and sometimes partner with you to achieve your dreams. This person will have an insight into who you are and accept you fully...flaws and all.
Unlike the fiery soulmate that propels you into growth in a very short amount of time, this type of soulmate person will give you experiences that will help you mature and grow slowly...over a significant period of time. You will respect and honor this person's opinion...even if you don't like what they have to say. You will be able to tell this person your inner most personal thoughts and fears. This person will be your champion and your reality check. This soulmate is one you will remain connected to...until death.
If you are lucky, you will build a life and family with this person. You will establish long term goals and a mutual life vision with this person. This is the type of soulmate that you see holding your hand when you are sick...feeding you soup when you are too ill to lift a spoon...the type of soulmate that you could not imagine life without. If this person need you, you will drop everthing to be there.
Ladies...this type of soulmate is not necessarily a lover or a husband. This type of soulmate can be a close friend. A person you met in your early years of schooling or at a job.
Ladies...take a moment and determine if you have any soulmates in your life...a soulmate is such a blessing so treasure him or her every day....for all the days of your life.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies...we have talked about the type of soulmate love that stirs you up and sets you on fire. Now let's discuss the second type of soulmate. The second type of soulmate love occurs when you meet someone that settles you down.
When you meet this person, there may be fire and sparks but it is not an out of control feeling. You will have a unique connection with this person. This person will have characteristics that you don't have but ones that you will need to grow. This person will encourage you and sometimes partner with you to achieve your dreams. This person will have an insight into who you are and accept you fully...flaws and all.
Unlike the fiery soulmate that propels you into growth in a very short amount of time, this type of soulmate person will give you experiences that will help you mature and grow slowly...over a significant period of time. You will respect and honor this person's opinion...even if you don't like what they have to say. You will be able to tell this person your inner most personal thoughts and fears. This person will be your champion and your reality check. This soulmate is one you will remain connected to...until death.
If you are lucky, you will build a life and family with this person. You will establish long term goals and a mutual life vision with this person. This is the type of soulmate that you see holding your hand when you are sick...feeding you soup when you are too ill to lift a spoon...the type of soulmate that you could not imagine life without. If this person need you, you will drop everthing to be there.
Ladies...this type of soulmate is not necessarily a lover or a husband. This type of soulmate can be a close friend. A person you met in your early years of schooling or at a job.
Ladies...take a moment and determine if you have any soulmates in your life...a soulmate is such a blessing so treasure him or her every day....for all the days of your life.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
