Ladies....I am on my way to the mall to shop til I drop. See you tomorrow.
Til Next Time Ladies
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Don't Work For An Asshole
Your Momma never told you...don't work for an asshole.
Ladies...I worked for an asshole. She was mean and nasty. She treated everyone like they were beneath her. She would yell at meetings, demand hellos, email continuously, and harrass people. She just contaminated the workspace with her presence.
Ladies...I felt I was stuck. I had two children and I had to provide for them...so I stayed and took the abuse...and that's what it was ladies...abuse. One day a position opened up in our department that would be a 20% increase in my salary...and I needed it. The catch...I had to work even more closely with the asshole.
I applied for the position and set up a formal interview. The word in the office was I had a great chance at getting the position. Even the asshole had encouraged me to apply. During the week before the interview, I saw the manager "behaving badly" towards another co-worker and something clicked. Did I really want to work for an asshole? Could I keep myself from beating her ass one day? How would I feel about coming to work every day?
After pondering these questions, ...I immediately called the human resource representative and cancelled the interview. When she asked me why...I said...no amount of money would be worth working with that asshole...ok I didn't say asshole...but you get the point. I don't think anyone should spend 40 hours a week with someone who does not treat them with dignity and respect.
Ladies...if you are working for an asshole...stop...get your resume together and look for a new job. You do not deserve to be mistreated. I did....and I got a job paying 30% more with options to work at home and ...my boss treats me very well!
Til Next Time Ladies
Ladies...I worked for an asshole. She was mean and nasty. She treated everyone like they were beneath her. She would yell at meetings, demand hellos, email continuously, and harrass people. She just contaminated the workspace with her presence.
Ladies...I felt I was stuck. I had two children and I had to provide for them...so I stayed and took the abuse...and that's what it was ladies...abuse. One day a position opened up in our department that would be a 20% increase in my salary...and I needed it. The catch...I had to work even more closely with the asshole.
I applied for the position and set up a formal interview. The word in the office was I had a great chance at getting the position. Even the asshole had encouraged me to apply. During the week before the interview, I saw the manager "behaving badly" towards another co-worker and something clicked. Did I really want to work for an asshole? Could I keep myself from beating her ass one day? How would I feel about coming to work every day?
After pondering these questions, ...I immediately called the human resource representative and cancelled the interview. When she asked me why...I said...no amount of money would be worth working with that asshole...ok I didn't say asshole...but you get the point. I don't think anyone should spend 40 hours a week with someone who does not treat them with dignity and respect.
Ladies...if you are working for an asshole...stop...get your resume together and look for a new job. You do not deserve to be mistreated. I did....and I got a job paying 30% more with options to work at home and ...my boss treats me very well!
Til Next Time Ladies
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Don't Be Predictable
Your Momma never told you...don't be predictable..it is boring and no fun.
I spent years being the goodie two shoes...always doing what I was told...worried about getting in trouble...molding myself to fit others expectations...not wanting to upset others...and then one day I realized I was bored as hell. I thought if I am bored with me...others may find me boring...including my man. The predictable girl...had to go.
So ladies...I changed. I started to do what I felt like doing without caring what other people thought.
I am constantly changing my routine, my look, my attitude, my home....to keep it interesting. My man loves it. Just when he thinks he knows what is going to happen when he comes through the door, I change it up.
Here are some suggestions for you ladies.
1. Change your routine. If you wear clothing to bed every night, stop. Take a shower, spray some perfume and walk out of the bathroom completely naked in your highest stilettos and get into the bed. Trust me...you won't be going to sleep anytime soon.
2. Change your hairstyle regularly. If you have had the same hairstyle for years....stop. Change the color, add extensions, buy a wig, wear it up, put it down...put a colorful scarf on...do something. Keep it interesting and let your man fantasize about being with a different woman...but make that different woman...you.
3. Dress or act a scene out of a movie. Remember the movie No Way Out..rent a limo and make out and more...in the back. Or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman...let your man come home to you in nothing but a new tie for him. Note: Kids need to be out of the house for this activity.
4. Do the unthinkable. Show up at his job for lunch with nothing on but a trench coat on.
5. Change your schedule and routine. If you come home every day at the same time...call and tell him you will be late. Show up with surprise gifts for him and the kids.
Ladies....you have one life...and hopefully one relationship...don't be boring. Don't let the routine of every day stuff suck the fun out of your life. Get excited and whatever you do...don't be predictable!
Till Next Time Ladies
I spent years being the goodie two shoes...always doing what I was told...worried about getting in trouble...molding myself to fit others expectations...not wanting to upset others...and then one day I realized I was bored as hell. I thought if I am bored with me...others may find me boring...including my man. The predictable girl...had to go.
So ladies...I changed. I started to do what I felt like doing without caring what other people thought.
I am constantly changing my routine, my look, my attitude, my home....to keep it interesting. My man loves it. Just when he thinks he knows what is going to happen when he comes through the door, I change it up.
Here are some suggestions for you ladies.
1. Change your routine. If you wear clothing to bed every night, stop. Take a shower, spray some perfume and walk out of the bathroom completely naked in your highest stilettos and get into the bed. Trust me...you won't be going to sleep anytime soon.
2. Change your hairstyle regularly. If you have had the same hairstyle for years....stop. Change the color, add extensions, buy a wig, wear it up, put it down...put a colorful scarf on...do something. Keep it interesting and let your man fantasize about being with a different woman...but make that different woman...you.
3. Dress or act a scene out of a movie. Remember the movie No Way Out..rent a limo and make out and more...in the back. Or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman...let your man come home to you in nothing but a new tie for him. Note: Kids need to be out of the house for this activity.
4. Do the unthinkable. Show up at his job for lunch with nothing on but a trench coat on.
5. Change your schedule and routine. If you come home every day at the same time...call and tell him you will be late. Show up with surprise gifts for him and the kids.
Ladies....you have one life...and hopefully one relationship...don't be boring. Don't let the routine of every day stuff suck the fun out of your life. Get excited and whatever you do...don't be predictable!
Till Next Time Ladies
Friday, May 28, 2010
Man in the Mirror
Your momma never told you..don't date or marry a man who thinks he is prettier than you.
Ladies...A few men come to my mind that I know have a "Man in the Mirror" complex. You know the kind...always in the bathroom smiling at his reflection...always at the gym pumping and flexing. These men fish for compliments. They may try to cover you with the "insecure blanket" by bringing up how many women approached them during the week. They strut around with sleeveless shirts in the latest gear. These men take more time primping and struting than a peacock at the zoo.
While they may look good ladies...beware....their goal is to attract attention to themselves...and with attention comes bad behavior. What do I mean ladies?....Taking numbers, texting, lunch dates, drive by's, gym dates, harmFUL flirting, kissing, and screwing....all behind your back. I have to be blunt ladies..
You see ladies...these types of men love being looked at ...they crave it...and if he thinks he is finer than you...he will be looking for the next pretty ornament to put on his arm. You see...these men see women like charms on a charm bracelet...he may keep you around dangling for awhile...Hell you may even be one of his favorite charms..one he wants to stay around...but you won't be the only charm ladies...and that is the problem.
Ladies...when you spot one of these men..run...go in the other direction. Find a good looking man who wants to spend his time looking at YOU. Don't waste your time on a man that stays in a mirror because it's hard for a man to love you when he is in love with himself.
Til Next Time Ladies
Ladies...A few men come to my mind that I know have a "Man in the Mirror" complex. You know the kind...always in the bathroom smiling at his reflection...always at the gym pumping and flexing. These men fish for compliments. They may try to cover you with the "insecure blanket" by bringing up how many women approached them during the week. They strut around with sleeveless shirts in the latest gear. These men take more time primping and struting than a peacock at the zoo.
While they may look good ladies...beware....their goal is to attract attention to themselves...and with attention comes bad behavior. What do I mean ladies?....Taking numbers, texting, lunch dates, drive by's, gym dates, harmFUL flirting, kissing, and screwing....all behind your back. I have to be blunt ladies..
You see ladies...these types of men love being looked at ...they crave it...and if he thinks he is finer than you...he will be looking for the next pretty ornament to put on his arm. You see...these men see women like charms on a charm bracelet...he may keep you around dangling for awhile...Hell you may even be one of his favorite charms..one he wants to stay around...but you won't be the only charm ladies...and that is the problem.
Ladies...when you spot one of these men..run...go in the other direction. Find a good looking man who wants to spend his time looking at YOU. Don't waste your time on a man that stays in a mirror because it's hard for a man to love you when he is in love with himself.
Til Next Time Ladies
Thursday, May 27, 2010
You are a Star....so act like one (Repost in Honor of Janet Jackson)
You are a Star...so Act Like One. (2)
Your Momma did not tell you to you are a star...so act like one.
I walked into work yesterday dressed in white pants, a long white coat, ruffle top, stilleto heels, and dark sunglass. One of my coworkers immediately held the door for me and said, "You look like a movie star. You should be in Hollywood...not an office building." I responded, "I am a movie star...in my mind." We laughed and I kept on stepping.
My point...the way look should reflect how you feel about yourself. I honestly feel like I am a star in my own life. If you were to ask any of my children, they would say I am the most important person in their lives...therefore; I make taking care of myself and appearing my best a priority because they expect me to be here for many years. I need to model a sense of confidence so that they will be able to navigate in the world with their head held high....just like I do.
Whether you are sitting in a office chair in a building or an actor's chair on a movie set, you should feel and act like a star. Remember, just like no star in the universe is alike...there is only one you in the entire world. When you think about it, that is pretty amazing....you are amazing.
So the next time you walk out your front door, imagine there is paparrazzi waiting to snap your picture...imagine you are stepping into the latest convertible sports car about to ride the Califoria coast, imagine you are going to lunch with your favorite celebrity. Step out of your door looking and feeling your best...and I guarantee you will feel like a star and royal treatment will come your way.
Til Next Time Ladies
Your Momma did not tell you to you are a star...so act like one.
I walked into work yesterday dressed in white pants, a long white coat, ruffle top, stilleto heels, and dark sunglass. One of my coworkers immediately held the door for me and said, "You look like a movie star. You should be in Hollywood...not an office building." I responded, "I am a movie star...in my mind." We laughed and I kept on stepping.
My point...the way look should reflect how you feel about yourself. I honestly feel like I am a star in my own life. If you were to ask any of my children, they would say I am the most important person in their lives...therefore; I make taking care of myself and appearing my best a priority because they expect me to be here for many years. I need to model a sense of confidence so that they will be able to navigate in the world with their head held high....just like I do.
Whether you are sitting in a office chair in a building or an actor's chair on a movie set, you should feel and act like a star. Remember, just like no star in the universe is alike...there is only one you in the entire world. When you think about it, that is pretty amazing....you are amazing.
So the next time you walk out your front door, imagine there is paparrazzi waiting to snap your picture...imagine you are stepping into the latest convertible sports car about to ride the Califoria coast, imagine you are going to lunch with your favorite celebrity. Step out of your door looking and feeling your best...and I guarantee you will feel like a star and royal treatment will come your way.
Til Next Time Ladies
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tell People When They Piss You Off - Repost
Your Momma never told you to tell people when they piss you off.
Ladies, we are always taught as young girls to be nice, not hurt other people's feelings, watch how you say things, make sure you are friendly...well that is all well and good ladies but sometimes you need to let people know when they have offended you or pissed you off.
I had a girlfriend call me crying at work because a co-worker made a comment about her gaining weight. I told her to immediately walk over to the co-worker and tell them him are not to make any comments about her appearance or weight. She said she could not do that because she did not want to make a big deal out of it or upset his feelings. HIS FEELINGS!
Ladies...wake up...you have to let people know who you are...what your likes and dislikes are. You have to teach people how to treat you. You have a right to say if you do not like if someone treats you poorly. To hell with other people's feelings if you are sitting around crying and hurt. Tell them to stop the behavior. Tell them you don't like it.
Simply say stop it....I don't like what you said. No. Don't talk to me that way. That is unacceptable behavior.
And...this applies to friends, co-workers, and relatives. I generally don't include strangers in anything because there are "crazies" out there. Just leave them be.
Stand up for yourselves ladies...and stop worrying about hurting other people's feelings...take care of you.
Til Next Time Ladies.
Ladies, we are always taught as young girls to be nice, not hurt other people's feelings, watch how you say things, make sure you are friendly...well that is all well and good ladies but sometimes you need to let people know when they have offended you or pissed you off.
I had a girlfriend call me crying at work because a co-worker made a comment about her gaining weight. I told her to immediately walk over to the co-worker and tell them him are not to make any comments about her appearance or weight. She said she could not do that because she did not want to make a big deal out of it or upset his feelings. HIS FEELINGS!
Ladies...wake up...you have to let people know who you are...what your likes and dislikes are. You have to teach people how to treat you. You have a right to say if you do not like if someone treats you poorly. To hell with other people's feelings if you are sitting around crying and hurt. Tell them to stop the behavior. Tell them you don't like it.
Simply say stop it....I don't like what you said. No. Don't talk to me that way. That is unacceptable behavior.
And...this applies to friends, co-workers, and relatives. I generally don't include strangers in anything because there are "crazies" out there. Just leave them be.
Stand up for yourselves ladies...and stop worrying about hurting other people's feelings...take care of you.
Til Next Time Ladies.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Condoms are no longer an option - Repost
Your momma never told you....condoms are no longer an option...even if you are married.
Ladies....if you are single...you know that condoms are no longer an option. There used to be a day..long ago...where women were pretty comfortable taking charge of their reproductive health by taking the pill or using some other form of birth control. Condoms were viewed as a cheap method of protecting you from getting pregnant. Many women and men viewed condoms as optional if the pill was being used or if you were in a committed relationship.
Fast forward 30 years, condoms are no longer an option. With all of the cheating scandals we hear about today, imagine what we don't hear. And moreover...cheating used to be an affair with another woman or man...now it is a dangerous practice of dipping into a possible pool of germs and disease. Yes ladies...I am talking about STD's.
Ladies...wake up and protect yourselves. When I saw Bombshell McGee..the tattoed female, Jesse James cheated on sweet Sandra Bullock with...the first thing I thought was..I hope she got tested. Here this woman was a faithful wife and had no idea here husband was behaving so dangerously. Are we to think we would know if our man was behaving in the same way? Let's face it...everyone can be deceitful?
Ladies...condoms are no longer an option...if you are having sex...use a condom. Make sure you are getting tested every year for diseases....even if you are married. Ask the fomer Mrs. Tiger Woods...poor woman. Protect yourself because sadly...men don't think before they jump into danger.
Til next time ladies.
Ladies....if you are single...you know that condoms are no longer an option. There used to be a day..long ago...where women were pretty comfortable taking charge of their reproductive health by taking the pill or using some other form of birth control. Condoms were viewed as a cheap method of protecting you from getting pregnant. Many women and men viewed condoms as optional if the pill was being used or if you were in a committed relationship.
Fast forward 30 years, condoms are no longer an option. With all of the cheating scandals we hear about today, imagine what we don't hear. And moreover...cheating used to be an affair with another woman or man...now it is a dangerous practice of dipping into a possible pool of germs and disease. Yes ladies...I am talking about STD's.
Ladies...wake up and protect yourselves. When I saw Bombshell McGee..the tattoed female, Jesse James cheated on sweet Sandra Bullock with...the first thing I thought was..I hope she got tested. Here this woman was a faithful wife and had no idea here husband was behaving so dangerously. Are we to think we would know if our man was behaving in the same way? Let's face it...everyone can be deceitful?
Ladies...condoms are no longer an option...if you are having sex...use a condom. Make sure you are getting tested every year for diseases....even if you are married. Ask the fomer Mrs. Tiger Woods...poor woman. Protect yourself because sadly...men don't think before they jump into danger.
Til next time ladies.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Men Tell The Truth
Your Momma never told you men tell the truth...you just won't want to hear it.
Ladies, men tell the truth in the first three dates...listen carefully and hear the truth.
Here are some examples:
If a man tells you I have dated a lot of women....I just have not found the one. What he is really saying...I date a lot of women including you because I think I am all that. I want you to spend all your time and effort trying to get me to change...but I won't.
If a man says I am between jobs what he is saying is...I can't keep a job or I don't have a job. You will have to be responsible for the bills if we get married.
If a man says, I only use cash...what he is really saying is...I have bad credit and can not manage money. If we get married, you will have to buy everything, manage the money, and try to keep me under control.
If a man says I don't believe in child support, I just give whatever the baby needs...what he is really saying is I like to maintain control over my money, I don't follow state laws, and I owe back child support which you will most likely help me pay.
If a man says I don't believe in marriage...what he is saying is I will sleep with you but I will not marry you.
If a man says I just want to be friends, what he really means is I just want to be friends but you can stick around and stroke my ego if you like.
If a man says I will be there at 7:00 and shows up at 8:00 without a damaged vehicle or broken leg...he is saying I have other priorities that come before you. You play second, third or fourth.
If a man says, I can't make it because I have to do something for my mother...what he is really saying is I have another girlfriend and I am a liar...or my mother controls me and will forever. My mother will run our lives forever.
Wake up ladiess...listen to what you are being told and don't waste time with men with problems...find someone that is looking for a partner and a friend.
If you show no reaction, they will tell you all types of things. If you listen carefully, they will tell you everything.
Til next time ladies...
Ladies, men tell the truth in the first three dates...listen carefully and hear the truth.
Here are some examples:
If a man tells you I have dated a lot of women....I just have not found the one. What he is really saying...I date a lot of women including you because I think I am all that. I want you to spend all your time and effort trying to get me to change...but I won't.
If a man says I am between jobs what he is saying is...I can't keep a job or I don't have a job. You will have to be responsible for the bills if we get married.
If a man says, I only use cash...what he is really saying is...I have bad credit and can not manage money. If we get married, you will have to buy everything, manage the money, and try to keep me under control.
If a man says I don't believe in child support, I just give whatever the baby needs...what he is really saying is I like to maintain control over my money, I don't follow state laws, and I owe back child support which you will most likely help me pay.
If a man says I don't believe in marriage...what he is saying is I will sleep with you but I will not marry you.
If a man says I just want to be friends, what he really means is I just want to be friends but you can stick around and stroke my ego if you like.
If a man says I will be there at 7:00 and shows up at 8:00 without a damaged vehicle or broken leg...he is saying I have other priorities that come before you. You play second, third or fourth.
If a man says, I can't make it because I have to do something for my mother...what he is really saying is I have another girlfriend and I am a liar...or my mother controls me and will forever. My mother will run our lives forever.
Wake up ladiess...listen to what you are being told and don't waste time with men with problems...find someone that is looking for a partner and a friend.
If you show no reaction, they will tell you all types of things. If you listen carefully, they will tell you everything.
Til next time ladies...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Make Everyday Parenting Fun (Part 1)
Your Momma did not tell you that parenting can become boring and routine...so inject some fun.
Ladies...I don't know about you but I get sick and tired of cooking and cleaning and washing clothes...day in and day out...morning, noon, and night...but I asked to be a mother so I have to do the mundane chores that come along with it. One day I realized...this is not any fun...I have to do something. So I introduced theme days during the week to inject some fun into motherhood.
Post a calendar in your home so everyone can see it and put in bold letter these five days on the calendar. Watch the fun take on a life of it's own.
1. Pajama Day - This is a day where we never change out of our pajamas. We watch movies, sleep in, wrap up in blankets and play board games.
2. Taco night - On this day I put on a sombrero and mexican music. We dance while making tacos. Simple and easy cooking.
3. 5 Minute Clean up - I set the timer on my oven and yell "5 minute clean up"! The kids scurry to their roooms and clean up as fast as they can. The great thing about this is that you can get straighten up in 5 minutes and the kids don't feel overwhelmed with cleaning.
4. Breakfast at Night - When I realize I don't have something to cook for dinner, it's time for Breakfast at Night. We cook eggs, cut up fruit, fix cereal, yogurt, whatever is traditional breakfast foods and eat.
5. Mom Appreciation Day - I made this day up because Mother's Day is not enough. I have Mom Appreciation Day once a month. On this day, the kids do something to show their appreciation. I have gotten cards, my closet straightened, breakfast in bed, my bedroom vacuumed...the kids decide on their own what they want to do. It is amazing. I have never suggested anything for them to do.
Give it a try ladies...it is a lot of fun....and if you don't have kids...you can still put some fun in your relationship. You can do all of the days as well with a little tweeking. Try to do an Appreciation Day for each other each month instead of the Mom Appreciation Day.
Try it and let me know what happened.
Til Next Time Ladies
Ladies...I don't know about you but I get sick and tired of cooking and cleaning and washing clothes...day in and day out...morning, noon, and night...but I asked to be a mother so I have to do the mundane chores that come along with it. One day I realized...this is not any fun...I have to do something. So I introduced theme days during the week to inject some fun into motherhood.
Post a calendar in your home so everyone can see it and put in bold letter these five days on the calendar. Watch the fun take on a life of it's own.
1. Pajama Day - This is a day where we never change out of our pajamas. We watch movies, sleep in, wrap up in blankets and play board games.
2. Taco night - On this day I put on a sombrero and mexican music. We dance while making tacos. Simple and easy cooking.
3. 5 Minute Clean up - I set the timer on my oven and yell "5 minute clean up"! The kids scurry to their roooms and clean up as fast as they can. The great thing about this is that you can get straighten up in 5 minutes and the kids don't feel overwhelmed with cleaning.
4. Breakfast at Night - When I realize I don't have something to cook for dinner, it's time for Breakfast at Night. We cook eggs, cut up fruit, fix cereal, yogurt, whatever is traditional breakfast foods and eat.
5. Mom Appreciation Day - I made this day up because Mother's Day is not enough. I have Mom Appreciation Day once a month. On this day, the kids do something to show their appreciation. I have gotten cards, my closet straightened, breakfast in bed, my bedroom vacuumed...the kids decide on their own what they want to do. It is amazing. I have never suggested anything for them to do.
Give it a try ladies...it is a lot of fun....and if you don't have kids...you can still put some fun in your relationship. You can do all of the days as well with a little tweeking. Try to do an Appreciation Day for each other each month instead of the Mom Appreciation Day.
Try it and let me know what happened.
Til Next Time Ladies
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Watch Your Clock
Your Momma never told you...watch your biological clock and time when you should have kids.
I was watching the Joy Behar show the other night and a few women were on talking about having kids in their late 40's. They said women were choosing to have a career first and having kids later in life...and they all thought this was a great idea. They discussed all the reasons why this was a good idea...men do it afterall...why can't women...right?
Wrong Ladies! These types of stories falsely lead women to believe that when they are ready to have kids...no matter how old ...they will be able too. The thing these women left out of the conversation is that you need tens of thousands of dollars, a lot of patience, medication with side effects, and top medical care to get pregnant later in life. It is not free or easy or fun.
Ladies...don't believe the hype. Your body is not made like a mans...your egss get old and die. If you have reached 30 and have not have a child...go to your doctor and get a clear understanding of your reproductive options and take control of your fertility.
I decided to get pregnant after being married two years. I was 31. After a year of trying, I went to the doctor and discovered I had problems. I only ovulate six times a year instead of the normal 12 because one of my tubes was blocked completely. Bottom line...it was unlikely I would ever get pregnant. After a few procedures, prayer, and continuous sex...I had my first child at 33 1/2. My point...I was lucky and only 31. What if I had waited until 35 or 40? I would have had options such as egg donation, invitro fertilization, surragacy, or adoption...but they all cost money. Lots of money.
Ladies...this is a wake up call. Don't believe these stars on TV that show up with twins at 44 as if it happened naturally. Take control of your fertility, know your options, and know the statistics so you can plan appropriately.
Til Next Time Ladies.
I was watching the Joy Behar show the other night and a few women were on talking about having kids in their late 40's. They said women were choosing to have a career first and having kids later in life...and they all thought this was a great idea. They discussed all the reasons why this was a good idea...men do it afterall...why can't women...right?
Wrong Ladies! These types of stories falsely lead women to believe that when they are ready to have kids...no matter how old ...they will be able too. The thing these women left out of the conversation is that you need tens of thousands of dollars, a lot of patience, medication with side effects, and top medical care to get pregnant later in life. It is not free or easy or fun.
Ladies...don't believe the hype. Your body is not made like a mans...your egss get old and die. If you have reached 30 and have not have a child...go to your doctor and get a clear understanding of your reproductive options and take control of your fertility.
I decided to get pregnant after being married two years. I was 31. After a year of trying, I went to the doctor and discovered I had problems. I only ovulate six times a year instead of the normal 12 because one of my tubes was blocked completely. Bottom line...it was unlikely I would ever get pregnant. After a few procedures, prayer, and continuous sex...I had my first child at 33 1/2. My point...I was lucky and only 31. What if I had waited until 35 or 40? I would have had options such as egg donation, invitro fertilization, surragacy, or adoption...but they all cost money. Lots of money.
Ladies...this is a wake up call. Don't believe these stars on TV that show up with twins at 44 as if it happened naturally. Take control of your fertility, know your options, and know the statistics so you can plan appropriately.
Til Next Time Ladies.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Never Date a Twin
Your Momma never told you never date a twin...unless you want to see double.
Yes Ladies...I have dated a twin and it was one of the most frustrating experiences I have ever been through. At first I was facinated by the idea. These two men were very fine. They were 6' 5" and beautiful to look at. The problem was I was looking at THEM all the time. They were inseperable. They finished each other's sentences. They communicated without speaking. It started to become very odd.
I would give a gift (sweatsuit) to the one I was dating and the next day the twin brother would be wearing it. Sometimes they would dress alike or very similiar...(grown men)! I finally convinced the one I was dating to get an apartment alone....a few months later the twin brother had moved in. It was if my man could not do anything...without the twin brother....which is understandable since they had been together since birth. But then I started thinking...when is this going to end?
My man and I became engaged but the he began to stall when it came to actually walking down the aisle (by doing crazy things I will talk about another day). Eventually I realized...this man is not getting married...until the twin brother is ready to get married. He wanted me to hang around and wait until the twin brother was ready to get married. A double wedding? WHAT!
And I started to think...am I going to have to have kids...when the twin brother wants to have kids...are we going to have to have a certain number of kids...the number the twin brother has. Are me and the twins wife going to have to dress alike? Will we have to live next door? Will I have to give birth to twins?...when will it end?
Needless to say, the twin's brother (the dominant one)and I began to dislike each other which was inevitable. He had so much power...I just could not compete. I tried...I tried for long 4 years. Finally, I called the wedding off...returned the gown, and moved on.
Ladies...my point...don't bother dating a twin...find a man that is single.
Yes Ladies...I have dated a twin and it was one of the most frustrating experiences I have ever been through. At first I was facinated by the idea. These two men were very fine. They were 6' 5" and beautiful to look at. The problem was I was looking at THEM all the time. They were inseperable. They finished each other's sentences. They communicated without speaking. It started to become very odd.
I would give a gift (sweatsuit) to the one I was dating and the next day the twin brother would be wearing it. Sometimes they would dress alike or very similiar...(grown men)! I finally convinced the one I was dating to get an apartment alone....a few months later the twin brother had moved in. It was if my man could not do anything...without the twin brother....which is understandable since they had been together since birth. But then I started thinking...when is this going to end?
My man and I became engaged but the he began to stall when it came to actually walking down the aisle (by doing crazy things I will talk about another day). Eventually I realized...this man is not getting married...until the twin brother is ready to get married. He wanted me to hang around and wait until the twin brother was ready to get married. A double wedding? WHAT!
And I started to think...am I going to have to have kids...when the twin brother wants to have kids...are we going to have to have a certain number of kids...the number the twin brother has. Are me and the twins wife going to have to dress alike? Will we have to live next door? Will I have to give birth to twins?...when will it end?
Needless to say, the twin's brother (the dominant one)and I began to dislike each other which was inevitable. He had so much power...I just could not compete. I tried...I tried for long 4 years. Finally, I called the wedding off...returned the gown, and moved on.
Ladies...my point...don't bother dating a twin...find a man that is single.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Beware of Floating
Your Momma never told you...to beware of floating.
I know several women who are looking for their soulmate....looking for that man that will sweep them off their feet and lift all their burdens. You're probaby thinking I am going to say he does not exist...but he does. You will meet someone who will do all those things and more...you will be floating on air....but ladies...don't float too long.
What do I mean? Well, it is when you are floating that you are doing all the cooking and the cleaning and the washing, and all the ironing. Ladies, it is during this time you are running on pure adrenaline....so happy to have found love. You will have all the energy in the world...you may even start washing his car and mowing the lawn.
Ladies...let me give you a wake up call. There will come a time...after your feet return to the ground...where you are not going to feel like doing all those chores...and that's what they are ladies...chores. Meanwhile, your man has decided that you not only love to do chores...you are going to do ALL of them...while he sits on the couch eating the food you just cooked in the clothes you just washed and ironed. Wrong message ladies....
Ladies...my advice...start from day one...defining fair and equal. This means if you make a meal for your man...your next line is "Now it is your turn." If you make the bed one time...your next line is "Now it is your turn." If you get the groceries, your next line is "Now it is your turn." You get picture ladies...it's called SETTING EXPECTATIONS.
You may need to introduce this slowly (don't be annoying) but keep going....if you don't set the expectations early...you will end up doing everything...then next thing you know...and baby makes three...and your chore list has just doubled....or tripled.
So ladies...my advice don't float to high ladies...or too long...it is can prove to be dangerous and exhausting.
Til next time ladies!
I know several women who are looking for their soulmate....looking for that man that will sweep them off their feet and lift all their burdens. You're probaby thinking I am going to say he does not exist...but he does. You will meet someone who will do all those things and more...you will be floating on air....but ladies...don't float too long.
What do I mean? Well, it is when you are floating that you are doing all the cooking and the cleaning and the washing, and all the ironing. Ladies, it is during this time you are running on pure adrenaline....so happy to have found love. You will have all the energy in the world...you may even start washing his car and mowing the lawn.
Ladies...let me give you a wake up call. There will come a time...after your feet return to the ground...where you are not going to feel like doing all those chores...and that's what they are ladies...chores. Meanwhile, your man has decided that you not only love to do chores...you are going to do ALL of them...while he sits on the couch eating the food you just cooked in the clothes you just washed and ironed. Wrong message ladies....
Ladies...my advice...start from day one...defining fair and equal. This means if you make a meal for your man...your next line is "Now it is your turn." If you make the bed one time...your next line is "Now it is your turn." If you get the groceries, your next line is "Now it is your turn." You get picture ladies...it's called SETTING EXPECTATIONS.
You may need to introduce this slowly (don't be annoying) but keep going....if you don't set the expectations early...you will end up doing everything...then next thing you know...and baby makes three...and your chore list has just doubled....or tripled.
So ladies...my advice don't float to high ladies...or too long...it is can prove to be dangerous and exhausting.
Til next time ladies!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Don't Tattoo Your Breasts
Your Momma did not tell you ...don't tattoo your breasts...or any other visible area of your body.
Ok Ladies...as a Blogger, I am all for freedom of expression...but my goodness, what on earth are two large colorful butterflies tattooed atop sagging breasts saying. When I saw this sight riding on the Circulator in DC all I could do was hope the butterflies would miraculously come to life and fly away.
A very small tattoo in a hidden area is a fun surprise for your mate to find but tattoos on you shoulders, arms, legs, or breasts have got to go. The fad is over or better yet...let's kill it. Unless your name is Bombshell or Skittles Valentine...don't get a permanent tattoo. Tattoos send a hidden message and it is not good.
If you have to have a tattoo....get a Henna Tattoo...it fades over a short period of time. The last thing you want is the snake tattoo you got in your twenties...to follow you into your forties, and beyond. A snake on an older woman is just not cute....Think ahead ladies!
I have seen paw prints, dragons, stars, moons, Chinese symbols tattooed on women in many different visible places...and I just don't get it. And don't wear low - rise jeans to show everyone you have a tattoo on your lower back or your ass...enough already! I don't want to see it ladies...and neither does anyone else. The worst is when I see a man's name tattoed on a woman...how ridiculous.
Ladies we live in America...people break up every other day. The chances of that man being around as long as that tattoo (David)is on your body is pretty slim to none. Why waste your money on a man's name as a tattoo when you could have a good pair of shoes or a Coach purse that will last much longer than a man?
If you want to put a name, put the name of someone you can count on...someone you can trust until you die...yours. (But make it small and not visible to strangers)
Til Next Time Ladies!
Ok Ladies...as a Blogger, I am all for freedom of expression...but my goodness, what on earth are two large colorful butterflies tattooed atop sagging breasts saying. When I saw this sight riding on the Circulator in DC all I could do was hope the butterflies would miraculously come to life and fly away.
A very small tattoo in a hidden area is a fun surprise for your mate to find but tattoos on you shoulders, arms, legs, or breasts have got to go. The fad is over or better yet...let's kill it. Unless your name is Bombshell or Skittles Valentine...don't get a permanent tattoo. Tattoos send a hidden message and it is not good.
If you have to have a tattoo....get a Henna Tattoo...it fades over a short period of time. The last thing you want is the snake tattoo you got in your twenties...to follow you into your forties, and beyond. A snake on an older woman is just not cute....Think ahead ladies!
I have seen paw prints, dragons, stars, moons, Chinese symbols tattooed on women in many different visible places...and I just don't get it. And don't wear low - rise jeans to show everyone you have a tattoo on your lower back or your ass...enough already! I don't want to see it ladies...and neither does anyone else. The worst is when I see a man's name tattoed on a woman...how ridiculous.
Ladies we live in America...people break up every other day. The chances of that man being around as long as that tattoo (David)is on your body is pretty slim to none. Why waste your money on a man's name as a tattoo when you could have a good pair of shoes or a Coach purse that will last much longer than a man?
If you want to put a name, put the name of someone you can count on...someone you can trust until you die...yours. (But make it small and not visible to strangers)
Til Next Time Ladies!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Pregnant...Go to counseling before the kid comes!
Your Momma never told you, if your pregnant, you and your man should go to counseling before the baby comes.
Ladies...nothing prepares you for what is to come...after you have your first child. After you go through the shocking sometimes life threatening experience of having a human being come out of your body...you are thrown in to motherhood in a feverous pitch. From breast engorgement to not being able to sit down...and not to mention sleep deprevation...you will experience a wave of emotion that will effect you and your relationship. If you choose to breastfeed, no one tells you your nipples ache with pain for weeks and meanwhile you have someone laying next to you that wants to have sex....NOW.....yikes.
Ladies....get you and your man prepared for the baby by going to counseling before the little one appears. A counselor will prepare you for the changes that are about to occur and give you tools and encouragement to get through the first year...and trust me...you are going to need it. This is the first time you will experience pure exhaustion and emotional breakdowns.
Within the first three weeks, you will even say quietly to yourself, "Why the hell did I do this?" (Don't worry, because when you keep looking at that little face...you will fall in love all over again.)
You will not be able to eat, sleep, bathe, watch TV, drive, wash your hair...when you want to. The baby will rule your life and what you do each day. It is a major life change that you need to be prepared for because you will change...you are now a mother...you will be different. Your mate needs to have a clear understanding of what he needs to do to support you and the little one. There will me major changes in housework, schedules, dr appointments, and in law relationships. Expectations of each other will change.
Go to a professional...get excited and get prepared because this is one of the most important thing you both will do....raising a child.
Trust me...I have two beautiful children who I love dearly but I would have appreciated someone preparing me and my EX-husband for what was to come.
Till next time ladies.
Ladies...nothing prepares you for what is to come...after you have your first child. After you go through the shocking sometimes life threatening experience of having a human being come out of your body...you are thrown in to motherhood in a feverous pitch. From breast engorgement to not being able to sit down...and not to mention sleep deprevation...you will experience a wave of emotion that will effect you and your relationship. If you choose to breastfeed, no one tells you your nipples ache with pain for weeks and meanwhile you have someone laying next to you that wants to have sex....NOW.....yikes.
Ladies....get you and your man prepared for the baby by going to counseling before the little one appears. A counselor will prepare you for the changes that are about to occur and give you tools and encouragement to get through the first year...and trust me...you are going to need it. This is the first time you will experience pure exhaustion and emotional breakdowns.
Within the first three weeks, you will even say quietly to yourself, "Why the hell did I do this?" (Don't worry, because when you keep looking at that little face...you will fall in love all over again.)
You will not be able to eat, sleep, bathe, watch TV, drive, wash your hair...when you want to. The baby will rule your life and what you do each day. It is a major life change that you need to be prepared for because you will change...you are now a mother...you will be different. Your mate needs to have a clear understanding of what he needs to do to support you and the little one. There will me major changes in housework, schedules, dr appointments, and in law relationships. Expectations of each other will change.
Go to a professional...get excited and get prepared because this is one of the most important thing you both will do....raising a child.
Trust me...I have two beautiful children who I love dearly but I would have appreciated someone preparing me and my EX-husband for what was to come.
Till next time ladies.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Getting a Man is a Full Time Job Part 1
Your Momma never told you getting a man is a full time job...so if you want a man go to work. So here is a list of things you must do each day to find a man.
1 - Get out of your car whenever possible. Do not use a drive thru for any reason...to get food, prescriptions, or money. (I know someone who met her man in line at McDonalds and they have been married 15 years.) Avoid ATM's at all costs. Get out of the car and walk into the bank. There are employed men in the bank and they should know something about money.
2 - Show a little leg and a little cleavage. Ladies...don't go overboard in this area however...don't walk around in a turtle neck and long pants. Men like to see a little skin. Show just enough to spark interest but not too much to spark an erection.
3 - Be out of your house as much as possible. A man is not going to come knocking on your door. Every moment you stay in the house is lost opportunity to meet a man. Do not sleep past 6 -8 hours a day. You need every waking hour to find a man. Take a walk, garden, go to the park, go shopping...just stay out of the house and be seen.
4 - Look your best at all times. This takes real effort ladies. Hair, makeup, heels, outfit, nails, and perfume....Be sure to be put together. Make sure to carry an emergency kit in your car with a pair of heels, lip gloss, mascara, and perfume.
5 - If you workout, look as cute as possible. Do not go into the gym with a pair of torn dirty sweatpants and a top that does not match. Put on matching workout gear made by a company that specializes in that type of clothing. (Ex. Nike) Your tennis shoes should match. If you dare wear a scarf or hat on your head...it should match too. Wear waterproof mascara and lip gloss...even when you workout. You never know who has his eye on you.
6 - If you want a certain type of man, do research and go where he would work. If you want a politician, go to political events and join political groups. If you want a lawyer, go to the court house and watch a few trials...eat the restaurants around the court house. As I said, it is a job to find a man..so do the work.
7 - Be open to all types of men. (Race, religion, height, occupation, etc.) Get to him as a person, his values, and his dreams and then decide if he is for you. Do not limit your options.
8 - Email your friends on a regular basis to let them know you are in the market for a man. Recruit them to find you a man.
9 - Find your local area "Things to do in your city" website and begin doing something. Wine tasting, belly dancing, speed dating, city tours, museums, bike riding....try it all. Again the goal is to be seen and meet new people.
10 - Have your own business cards that are just about you. ONLY include your name and an email address (you may want to get a seperate account)on the card...and include a catch phrase or your favorite quote on the card. This way if someone wants to contact you it is less invasive and you have some control. The quote or catch phrase should represent you...for example...Love to eat, pray, and love....that phrase can say alot and spark interest. Give to everyone...prospects, friends, family, neighbors, co-workers...whoever...market yourself.
1 - Get out of your car whenever possible. Do not use a drive thru for any reason...to get food, prescriptions, or money. (I know someone who met her man in line at McDonalds and they have been married 15 years.) Avoid ATM's at all costs. Get out of the car and walk into the bank. There are employed men in the bank and they should know something about money.
2 - Show a little leg and a little cleavage. Ladies...don't go overboard in this area however...don't walk around in a turtle neck and long pants. Men like to see a little skin. Show just enough to spark interest but not too much to spark an erection.
3 - Be out of your house as much as possible. A man is not going to come knocking on your door. Every moment you stay in the house is lost opportunity to meet a man. Do not sleep past 6 -8 hours a day. You need every waking hour to find a man. Take a walk, garden, go to the park, go shopping...just stay out of the house and be seen.
4 - Look your best at all times. This takes real effort ladies. Hair, makeup, heels, outfit, nails, and perfume....Be sure to be put together. Make sure to carry an emergency kit in your car with a pair of heels, lip gloss, mascara, and perfume.
5 - If you workout, look as cute as possible. Do not go into the gym with a pair of torn dirty sweatpants and a top that does not match. Put on matching workout gear made by a company that specializes in that type of clothing. (Ex. Nike) Your tennis shoes should match. If you dare wear a scarf or hat on your head...it should match too. Wear waterproof mascara and lip gloss...even when you workout. You never know who has his eye on you.
6 - If you want a certain type of man, do research and go where he would work. If you want a politician, go to political events and join political groups. If you want a lawyer, go to the court house and watch a few trials...eat the restaurants around the court house. As I said, it is a job to find a man..so do the work.
7 - Be open to all types of men. (Race, religion, height, occupation, etc.) Get to him as a person, his values, and his dreams and then decide if he is for you. Do not limit your options.
8 - Email your friends on a regular basis to let them know you are in the market for a man. Recruit them to find you a man.
9 - Find your local area "Things to do in your city" website and begin doing something. Wine tasting, belly dancing, speed dating, city tours, museums, bike riding....try it all. Again the goal is to be seen and meet new people.
10 - Have your own business cards that are just about you. ONLY include your name and an email address (you may want to get a seperate account)on the card...and include a catch phrase or your favorite quote on the card. This way if someone wants to contact you it is less invasive and you have some control. The quote or catch phrase should represent you...for example...Love to eat, pray, and love....that phrase can say alot and spark interest. Give to everyone...prospects, friends, family, neighbors, co-workers...whoever...market yourself.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Have Theme Song! (Repost)
Your Momma never told you.... never rely on someone to make you feel good about yourself. Have theme song to pump you up every day.
Do you remember Ally McBeal? Well,if you don't, she was a quirky character on TV that played a theme song in her head when she saw or had to deal with a man. Sometimes the theme song was about the man or sometimes it was used to give her confidence in meeting a man. Anyway, the point was the theme song was used to change the way she felt and put her in the mood to conquer her fears.
Ladies...everyone needs at least one theme song. One of my theme songs is I Am a Survivor by Destiny's Child. When I need to feel good or deal with bullshit in my life or at work...I play/blast this song wherever I am or whenever I need it. Upon hearing this song, I remember all of the things I have overcome in life...and I perform an internal scream "I'm not going to take it". It is an instant pump me up. You know the lyrics...."I'm a survivor, I'm not going to take it, I'm going to work harder, I'm going to make it!" (The song is playing in my head right now.) Simple but to the point. Then I tell myself I look like Beyonce and strut around like I am the shit! Yes ladies...the mind is a powerful thing!
Ladies, go through your playlist...find a song that you can use as a theme song and begin using it immediately. Have your theme song available to play at a moment's notice. Play it in your car. Download it on your Ipod, computer, or cell phone and be ready to play it when needed.If your man pisses you off, play your theme song.
If your boss or co-worker upsets you, play your theme song. If you just feel in a bad mood or need a lift, play your theme song...and get back in control.
After awhile, the theme song will just play in your head...like Ally McBeal...and that's when your theme song becomes a natural part of you.
Remember...if you don't pump yourself up...who will!
Till next time.
Do you remember Ally McBeal? Well,if you don't, she was a quirky character on TV that played a theme song in her head when she saw or had to deal with a man. Sometimes the theme song was about the man or sometimes it was used to give her confidence in meeting a man. Anyway, the point was the theme song was used to change the way she felt and put her in the mood to conquer her fears.
Ladies...everyone needs at least one theme song. One of my theme songs is I Am a Survivor by Destiny's Child. When I need to feel good or deal with bullshit in my life or at work...I play/blast this song wherever I am or whenever I need it. Upon hearing this song, I remember all of the things I have overcome in life...and I perform an internal scream "I'm not going to take it". It is an instant pump me up. You know the lyrics...."I'm a survivor, I'm not going to take it, I'm going to work harder, I'm going to make it!" (The song is playing in my head right now.) Simple but to the point. Then I tell myself I look like Beyonce and strut around like I am the shit! Yes ladies...the mind is a powerful thing!
Ladies, go through your playlist...find a song that you can use as a theme song and begin using it immediately. Have your theme song available to play at a moment's notice. Play it in your car. Download it on your Ipod, computer, or cell phone and be ready to play it when needed.If your man pisses you off, play your theme song.
If your boss or co-worker upsets you, play your theme song. If you just feel in a bad mood or need a lift, play your theme song...and get back in control.
After awhile, the theme song will just play in your head...like Ally McBeal...and that's when your theme song becomes a natural part of you.
Remember...if you don't pump yourself up...who will!
Till next time.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Cover Your B. C.
Your Momma did not tell you to cover your butt crack...it is just not pretty.
I was at my daughter's school recital when a woman nicely dressed sat down directly in front of me. Upon her ass hitting the chair, I was faced with an extreme view of her butt crack. I was shocked and then something unusual happened. I suddenly remembered several other times I was faced with seeing someone's butt crack....and they were all women.
I just do not understand the phenomenon of the low rise pants for women at all but especially those over the age of 21 and over size 2.
There was a phase where you would see a thong peeking out from low rise jeans...another example of obsurdity but at least the butt crack was not exposed. Now,that phase is gone. Now, women have thrown out the thong and are just showing that area openly...and it is not pretty.
Ladies....enough already. It is time to take a stand against the showing of butt crack. Here are a few rules to abide by:
1. Do not buy or wear pants that are low rise or too tight or too small. Unless you are a size 2, built like Heidi Klum, and are about to model for Victoria Secret, low rise are not for you. When you wear low rise pants, you are at high risk for sudden exposure.
2. Wear a belt with every pair of pants. While a belt does not guarantee against this type of sudden exposure...it can be used as a safe guard to keep that area hidden.
3. If you are exposed to a stranger's butt crack, move away. Strangers are on their on. Remember there are crazies out there. There is no need to get in an altercation over someone's butt crack. Just move away. You do not need to be subjected to that view of anyone.
4. If you feel a sudden draft (in the butt area) after you sit down, get up immediately and go home. You do not have the right to show others what is in your pants...or is supposed to be in your pants but has creeped out..it is not cute....at all.
5. If you see someone exposing themselves, and you know them, tell them. Provide a towel, coat, or long shirt for them to put on if they can not leave immediately.
6. Before you leave the house in pants, bend down and perform a butt crack test in front of a mirror. If it your butt crack shows, take off the pants and put something else on.
Til next time ladies.
I was at my daughter's school recital when a woman nicely dressed sat down directly in front of me. Upon her ass hitting the chair, I was faced with an extreme view of her butt crack. I was shocked and then something unusual happened. I suddenly remembered several other times I was faced with seeing someone's butt crack....and they were all women.
I just do not understand the phenomenon of the low rise pants for women at all but especially those over the age of 21 and over size 2.
There was a phase where you would see a thong peeking out from low rise jeans...another example of obsurdity but at least the butt crack was not exposed. Now,that phase is gone. Now, women have thrown out the thong and are just showing that area openly...and it is not pretty.
Ladies....enough already. It is time to take a stand against the showing of butt crack. Here are a few rules to abide by:
1. Do not buy or wear pants that are low rise or too tight or too small. Unless you are a size 2, built like Heidi Klum, and are about to model for Victoria Secret, low rise are not for you. When you wear low rise pants, you are at high risk for sudden exposure.
2. Wear a belt with every pair of pants. While a belt does not guarantee against this type of sudden exposure...it can be used as a safe guard to keep that area hidden.
3. If you are exposed to a stranger's butt crack, move away. Strangers are on their on. Remember there are crazies out there. There is no need to get in an altercation over someone's butt crack. Just move away. You do not need to be subjected to that view of anyone.
4. If you feel a sudden draft (in the butt area) after you sit down, get up immediately and go home. You do not have the right to show others what is in your pants...or is supposed to be in your pants but has creeped out..it is not cute....at all.
5. If you see someone exposing themselves, and you know them, tell them. Provide a towel, coat, or long shirt for them to put on if they can not leave immediately.
6. Before you leave the house in pants, bend down and perform a butt crack test in front of a mirror. If it your butt crack shows, take off the pants and put something else on.
Til next time ladies.
Friday, May 14, 2010
JC Penney Has Secret's Too
Your Momma never told you to you to get sexy bras at JC Penney.
I recently went to Victoria Secret's and realized Victoria has been pulling a fast one. The price of her bras have been steadily rising and the quality has been steadlily falling. An average cost of one bra is $45.00 and you can not even wash them in the washing machine. After a few washings, the bras loose shape, one of the cups collapses, and I look uneven and saggy. I put a Victoria Secret bra on the other day and my daughter said, "Mommy your breast have dents in them." That was it! A $52.00 bra...dents! The cups had lost all shape and the padding had begun to break up and shift. No way. I immediately when on an emergency bra hunt!
My revelation...the Ambrielle bra at JC Penney...2 for $35. Ladies this bra is indestructible. You can throw it, stomp on it, wash it, sleep in it, toss it in the air, whatever, and it will never loose it's shape. Form the moment you put it on, the girls are sitting up, smiling, and greeting your man. It is extremely comfortable...like wearing strong pillows. And don't get me started about the panties to match. They are fantastic and don't shrink when you put them in the dryer.
Another benefit is how good it will look on you. Your man will jump up and down when he sees you in it...Mine did. He might even yell "WHOOOOOOO HOOOOO!" Mine did! Your dresses and tops will fit better...I can go on and on.
So ladies...while I am not totally against Victoria Secret's...JC Penney has secrets too that are more affordable, cute, comfortable and high quality. Let's face it Victoria is getting over...you want to be sexy and still be able to buy and outfit and shoes...go get a secret at JC Penney for you and your man. A win win.
Shhhh! No one has to know.
See the link below:
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=STY&ItemID=176cf0c&Nao=0&Ne=4+6+1031+8+18+904+949+833&hdnOnGo=true&Ntt=ambrielle&SearchString=ambrielle&N=4294959029&SO=0&PSO=0&CmCatId=searchresults
Til next time ladies.
I recently went to Victoria Secret's and realized Victoria has been pulling a fast one. The price of her bras have been steadily rising and the quality has been steadlily falling. An average cost of one bra is $45.00 and you can not even wash them in the washing machine. After a few washings, the bras loose shape, one of the cups collapses, and I look uneven and saggy. I put a Victoria Secret bra on the other day and my daughter said, "Mommy your breast have dents in them." That was it! A $52.00 bra...dents! The cups had lost all shape and the padding had begun to break up and shift. No way. I immediately when on an emergency bra hunt!
My revelation...the Ambrielle bra at JC Penney...2 for $35. Ladies this bra is indestructible. You can throw it, stomp on it, wash it, sleep in it, toss it in the air, whatever, and it will never loose it's shape. Form the moment you put it on, the girls are sitting up, smiling, and greeting your man. It is extremely comfortable...like wearing strong pillows. And don't get me started about the panties to match. They are fantastic and don't shrink when you put them in the dryer.
Another benefit is how good it will look on you. Your man will jump up and down when he sees you in it...Mine did. He might even yell "WHOOOOOOO HOOOOO!" Mine did! Your dresses and tops will fit better...I can go on and on.
So ladies...while I am not totally against Victoria Secret's...JC Penney has secrets too that are more affordable, cute, comfortable and high quality. Let's face it Victoria is getting over...you want to be sexy and still be able to buy and outfit and shoes...go get a secret at JC Penney for you and your man. A win win.
Shhhh! No one has to know.
See the link below:
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=STY&ItemID=176cf0c&Nao=0&Ne=4+6+1031+8+18+904+949+833&hdnOnGo=true&Ntt=ambrielle&SearchString=ambrielle&N=4294959029&SO=0&PSO=0&CmCatId=searchresults
Til next time ladies.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
There Are Crazies Amoung Us (Repost)
Your Momma never told you that crazies among us and they look just like you and me...normal.
Sadly, I have dated and worked with a significant number of crazies in my time here on earth and everyone of them looked perfectly normal. The crazies I met combed their hair, wore nice clothes, brushed their teeth, spoke in coherent sentences, and even had a sense of humor.
The crazies could drive, held management positions, had families, celebrated birthdays, could add and subtract, and showed no physical sign of crazy. As a result, I spent way too much time around these nuts before I realized they were crazy. When I say crazy...I mean they had some type of mental disorder.
Looking back on it...there were early signs of craziness that I just ignored. One manager threatened to write me up because I did not say hello the way she liked it. (crazy sign) One man I dated would say things and then when I brought them back up he would say..."I don't know what you are talking about...I did not say that." (crazy sign)It got so bad I started to carry a small pad because I honestly believed I was hearing things.
Note: If you are around crazies too long...you start to take on crazy behavior.
You see..I was naive.I actually thought crazy people were locked up in a room with pink walls, padding, and white curtains....but the truth is they are out...walking around in the street, on our jobs, you may even be sleeping with one.
My point...you can't spot a crazy unless you are fairly well versed and educated on mental psychological disorders.
Ladies...you must learn, read, study, take a college course...whatever you need to do to recognize the symptoms of mental disorders early on...so you can run as fast as you can into a sane man's arms. If you work with a crazy, you may need to change jobs or learn how to deal with the crazy behavior that will come your way.
Narcissists, bipolar, passive agressive, manic depressive, disassociative disorder, obsessive compulsive, borderline, anti-social...just to name a view. Focus heavily on the personality disorders...these are the ones that can catch you off guard.
Once you are educated on the disorders, the behaviors you once labeled odd, quirky, or unusual...you will now recognize as clinical symptoms of crazy.
If you find yourself calling your girlfriends saying...am I crazy? Does this sound right? Do you think that is odd? ...WAKE UP and get to studying...you may be dealing with a crazy.
To get you started, I attached a link for you to review.
Ladies...save yourself time and weed out the crazies. Study and learn so you don't spend your precious time with a nut.
Till Next Time Ladies!
http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/psychiatric-disorder-definitions/adult-symptoms-of-mental-health-disorders/menu-id-71/
Sadly, I have dated and worked with a significant number of crazies in my time here on earth and everyone of them looked perfectly normal. The crazies I met combed their hair, wore nice clothes, brushed their teeth, spoke in coherent sentences, and even had a sense of humor.
The crazies could drive, held management positions, had families, celebrated birthdays, could add and subtract, and showed no physical sign of crazy. As a result, I spent way too much time around these nuts before I realized they were crazy. When I say crazy...I mean they had some type of mental disorder.
Looking back on it...there were early signs of craziness that I just ignored. One manager threatened to write me up because I did not say hello the way she liked it. (crazy sign) One man I dated would say things and then when I brought them back up he would say..."I don't know what you are talking about...I did not say that." (crazy sign)It got so bad I started to carry a small pad because I honestly believed I was hearing things.
Note: If you are around crazies too long...you start to take on crazy behavior.
You see..I was naive.I actually thought crazy people were locked up in a room with pink walls, padding, and white curtains....but the truth is they are out...walking around in the street, on our jobs, you may even be sleeping with one.
My point...you can't spot a crazy unless you are fairly well versed and educated on mental psychological disorders.
Ladies...you must learn, read, study, take a college course...whatever you need to do to recognize the symptoms of mental disorders early on...so you can run as fast as you can into a sane man's arms. If you work with a crazy, you may need to change jobs or learn how to deal with the crazy behavior that will come your way.
Narcissists, bipolar, passive agressive, manic depressive, disassociative disorder, obsessive compulsive, borderline, anti-social...just to name a view. Focus heavily on the personality disorders...these are the ones that can catch you off guard.
Once you are educated on the disorders, the behaviors you once labeled odd, quirky, or unusual...you will now recognize as clinical symptoms of crazy.
If you find yourself calling your girlfriends saying...am I crazy? Does this sound right? Do you think that is odd? ...WAKE UP and get to studying...you may be dealing with a crazy.
To get you started, I attached a link for you to review.
Ladies...save yourself time and weed out the crazies. Study and learn so you don't spend your precious time with a nut.
Till Next Time Ladies!
http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/psychiatric-disorder-definitions/adult-symptoms-of-mental-health-disorders/menu-id-71/
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I Want To See You...And Mary Too!
Your Momma did not tell you that one day, a man that you love will feed you the line, "I want to see you and other people too!"
Now ladies, I have heard this line a few times and I know several women who have heard it too...so that leads me to believe it must work on some women otherwise men would not try it. The truth is he really does still want to see you but someone has recently caught his eye. He wants an opportunity to test the waters with the new girl while you wait in the wings to be life jacket when things don't work out. And trust me...things won't work out...because this is a man who thinks he is all that.
Ladies, if a man throws this line at you, there is only one response. Don't get upset, don't throw a fit. Remain calm and straight faced. Don't beg. Don't ask questions. When given this pitiful line, simply say,"I have a better idea, why don't WE just see other people?"
This will throw the man off completely because a man does not try this line on a woman unless he is sure that woman is hooked...and in love. But whether you are in love or not, take control of the situation. Begin to pick up your items and head to the door immediately. Give him a kiss on the cheek and thank him for the good times and walk out. Don't look back. Don't discuss.
He will try to keep the conversation going...even do some backtracking. He may even say he did not mean it or try to rewrite history and say you took his statements the wrong way...don't fall for it. Take control. You may even want to thank him for his honesty...but move on! (After all he just revealed a big character flaw...arrogance and being an ass...these are not qualities you want...what nerve!)
After you get in the car, wave goodbye politely and drive away. It is at this time you perform the vanishing act. Disappear from all social networks, do not respond to texts, do not call, do not email, do not answer the cell phone. It will be hard but remember...there is someone he is interested in that he WILL see...and if you chose to see him again...he will see this new person of interest but BEHIND your back....and believe me that is 100 times worse. Also, when a man drops this line...know that he likes you but he is not in love with you...he is in love with himself....so move on.
Don't spend time with a man who thinks there is something better out there than you. If he does not get how fabulous you are, walk away...another man will. Trust me.
Til Next Time Ladies.
Now ladies, I have heard this line a few times and I know several women who have heard it too...so that leads me to believe it must work on some women otherwise men would not try it. The truth is he really does still want to see you but someone has recently caught his eye. He wants an opportunity to test the waters with the new girl while you wait in the wings to be life jacket when things don't work out. And trust me...things won't work out...because this is a man who thinks he is all that.
Ladies, if a man throws this line at you, there is only one response. Don't get upset, don't throw a fit. Remain calm and straight faced. Don't beg. Don't ask questions. When given this pitiful line, simply say,"I have a better idea, why don't WE just see other people?"
This will throw the man off completely because a man does not try this line on a woman unless he is sure that woman is hooked...and in love. But whether you are in love or not, take control of the situation. Begin to pick up your items and head to the door immediately. Give him a kiss on the cheek and thank him for the good times and walk out. Don't look back. Don't discuss.
He will try to keep the conversation going...even do some backtracking. He may even say he did not mean it or try to rewrite history and say you took his statements the wrong way...don't fall for it. Take control. You may even want to thank him for his honesty...but move on! (After all he just revealed a big character flaw...arrogance and being an ass...these are not qualities you want...what nerve!)
After you get in the car, wave goodbye politely and drive away. It is at this time you perform the vanishing act. Disappear from all social networks, do not respond to texts, do not call, do not email, do not answer the cell phone. It will be hard but remember...there is someone he is interested in that he WILL see...and if you chose to see him again...he will see this new person of interest but BEHIND your back....and believe me that is 100 times worse. Also, when a man drops this line...know that he likes you but he is not in love with you...he is in love with himself....so move on.
Don't spend time with a man who thinks there is something better out there than you. If he does not get how fabulous you are, walk away...another man will. Trust me.
Til Next Time Ladies.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Shimmer... not Glitter...never Glow
Your Momma never told you the difference between shimmer, glitter and glow.
I was at an evening cookout the other night when a woman with a great personality walked in. Everyone's eyes immediately focus in on the large amount of glitter sprayed or dusted on her large breasts. When I say everyone I mean...the women, the men, children, even a dog...took notice. I found it difficult to have a conversation with her without looking at all of the glitter on her breast. She even put glitter on her eyes....and it dawned on me...she was trying to sparkle...but lost her way.
Note: If you have big breasts...everyone sees them anyway...no need to put anything on them. If you have small breasts, don't draw attention...to something that is not there.
So ladies....let me just say a few words about sparkling because men like things that sparkle.
It is ok to use body shimmer because it is light and adds just a little sparkle to your skin. Use on shoulders or calves only.
Never use glitter....or anything with glitter in the title. Glitter is for showgirls or craft projects...that is all. To a man, glitter signals two things...strippers or children...neither of which you want him to remind him of when you are trying to attract a man.
Never glow...flourescent nail polish, glow in the dark panties, shirts with a glow in the dark message...avoid at all cost. Men do not like distractions...they can only focus on one thing...you want that to be you...not your toes.
Til next time ladies.
I was at an evening cookout the other night when a woman with a great personality walked in. Everyone's eyes immediately focus in on the large amount of glitter sprayed or dusted on her large breasts. When I say everyone I mean...the women, the men, children, even a dog...took notice. I found it difficult to have a conversation with her without looking at all of the glitter on her breast. She even put glitter on her eyes....and it dawned on me...she was trying to sparkle...but lost her way.
Note: If you have big breasts...everyone sees them anyway...no need to put anything on them. If you have small breasts, don't draw attention...to something that is not there.
So ladies....let me just say a few words about sparkling because men like things that sparkle.
It is ok to use body shimmer because it is light and adds just a little sparkle to your skin. Use on shoulders or calves only.
Never use glitter....or anything with glitter in the title. Glitter is for showgirls or craft projects...that is all. To a man, glitter signals two things...strippers or children...neither of which you want him to remind him of when you are trying to attract a man.
Never glow...flourescent nail polish, glow in the dark panties, shirts with a glow in the dark message...avoid at all cost. Men do not like distractions...they can only focus on one thing...you want that to be you...not your toes.
Til next time ladies.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Perfect Mother vs Therapy
Your Momma never told you there is no such thing as a perfect mother....realize you are going to make mistakes that is why they invented therapy.
I was so upset the other day when I caught one of my children in a lie. I continually asked her if she cut my tomatos and she repeated no. She even put her hand in the air as if she was swearing on a Bible (even though I don't think she fully understood what she was gesturing). I was so disappointed. I almost started to cry. How could I be raising a liar for a child? Would she be a liar forever? Maybe I was not holding her accountable for her actions? Was she still angry about the divorce? Maybe I should have stayed in my marriage? I became obsessed with all of the questions.
Then I realize, no one handed me a book of instructions with my daughter's name on it. For the most part, it has been trial and error. It is impossible to forsee how my choices, what I say, how I parent, what I feed her, what school I chose for her, what chores she has to do, how I handle discipline, or what I do will impact each of my children. All I can do is my best.
So I decided when I make a mistake, I will try to fix it. When I don't know how to handle a situation, I will read or go to a professional for help on parenting. And finally, if my daughter ever comes to me one day and says Mom you screwed up when raising me....I will pay for 1 year of therapy and call it a day. Enough of trying to be the perfect mother....I am just going to be the best I can...knowing I am going to screw up something...that is all I can do.
Later ladies!
I was so upset the other day when I caught one of my children in a lie. I continually asked her if she cut my tomatos and she repeated no. She even put her hand in the air as if she was swearing on a Bible (even though I don't think she fully understood what she was gesturing). I was so disappointed. I almost started to cry. How could I be raising a liar for a child? Would she be a liar forever? Maybe I was not holding her accountable for her actions? Was she still angry about the divorce? Maybe I should have stayed in my marriage? I became obsessed with all of the questions.
Then I realize, no one handed me a book of instructions with my daughter's name on it. For the most part, it has been trial and error. It is impossible to forsee how my choices, what I say, how I parent, what I feed her, what school I chose for her, what chores she has to do, how I handle discipline, or what I do will impact each of my children. All I can do is my best.
So I decided when I make a mistake, I will try to fix it. When I don't know how to handle a situation, I will read or go to a professional for help on parenting. And finally, if my daughter ever comes to me one day and says Mom you screwed up when raising me....I will pay for 1 year of therapy and call it a day. Enough of trying to be the perfect mother....I am just going to be the best I can...knowing I am going to screw up something...that is all I can do.
Later ladies!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
You are a Star...so Act Like One. (2)
Your Momma did not tell you to you are a star...so act like one.
I walked into work yesterday dressed in white pants, a long white coat, ruffle top, stilleto heels, and dark sunglass. One of my coworkers immediately held the door for me and said, "You look like a movie star. You should be in Hollywood...not an office building." I responded, "I am a movie star...in my mind." We laughed and I kept on stepping.
My point...the way look should reflect how you feel about yourself. I honestly feel like I am a star in my own life. If you were to ask any of my children, they would say I am the most important person in their lives...therefore; I make taking care of myself and appearing my best a priority because they expect me to be here for many years. I need to model a sense of confidence so that they will be able to navigate in the world with their head held high....just like I do.
Whether you are sitting in a office chair in a building or an actor's chair on a movie set, you should feel and act like a star. Remember, just like no star in the universe is alike...there is only one you in the entire world. When you think about it, that is pretty amazing....you are amazing.
So the next time you walk out your front door, imagine there is paparrazzi waiting to snap your picture...imagine you are stepping into the latest convertible sports car about to ride the Califoria coast, imagine you are going to lunch with your favorite celebrity. Step out of your door looking and feeling your best...and I guarantee you will feel like a star and royal treatment will come your way.
Til Next Time Ladies
I walked into work yesterday dressed in white pants, a long white coat, ruffle top, stilleto heels, and dark sunglass. One of my coworkers immediately held the door for me and said, "You look like a movie star. You should be in Hollywood...not an office building." I responded, "I am a movie star...in my mind." We laughed and I kept on stepping.
My point...the way look should reflect how you feel about yourself. I honestly feel like I am a star in my own life. If you were to ask any of my children, they would say I am the most important person in their lives...therefore; I make taking care of myself and appearing my best a priority because they expect me to be here for many years. I need to model a sense of confidence so that they will be able to navigate in the world with their head held high....just like I do.
Whether you are sitting in a office chair in a building or an actor's chair on a movie set, you should feel and act like a star. Remember, just like no star in the universe is alike...there is only one you in the entire world. When you think about it, that is pretty amazing....you are amazing.
So the next time you walk out your front door, imagine there is paparrazzi waiting to snap your picture...imagine you are stepping into the latest convertible sports car about to ride the Califoria coast, imagine you are going to lunch with your favorite celebrity. Step out of your door looking and feeling your best...and I guarantee you will feel like a star and royal treatment will come your way.
Til Next Time Ladies
Friday, May 7, 2010
Be a Momshell
Your Momma Never Told Me after you have kids don't let yourself go...be a momshell.
I have seen so many women have children and turn into "the mom". They turned in their sexy dresses for housecoats and sweats. They stopped wearing makeup and embraced flat comfort shoes. In other words they gave up and aged about 10 years overnight.
I agree for the first three months of motherhood, it is difficult to focus on anything other than sleeping but once your baby begins to sleep six hours in a row...you have no excuse. Get back on the sexy horse and turn on the momshell attitude.
Things to remember after motherhood:
1. If you still want to keep your man...the dad...look good. Put on a minimum of mascara and lip gloss in the morning and in the evening.
2. Dress like you care...so he will. Show your best feature off...breast, legs, face, back...whatever. You had a baby...you are a sexy vital WOMAN...bring your sexy back. Wear stilettos and figure flattering clothes.
The initial period of having a baby is shocking for everyone involved. Your life changes dramatically and both Mom and Dad start to think at some point...what have I gotten into. Statistics have shown marriages experience turmoil within the first 0 - 2 years of having a child...so don't go to sleep. Make an effort to look the way you looked before the pregnancy. That is who he married.
3. Lose the weight. You had the baby. You now have no excuse to keep the extra 25 - 40 lbs. Get back to how you looked prior to the pregnancy.
4. If you think your husband is cute, so does another women. Ladies...competition is out there. Purchase sexy lingerie again...the kind you wore to get him down the aisle...and wear it. Your breast and ass has changed...so buy new lacy bras and matching panties.
5. Treat yourself...As a mother you will automatically start sacrificing for your family however do not give up your regular hair appointments, shopping sprees, or facials. You deserve it. Being a mother is exhausting so be sure to replinish your energy and pamper yourself whenever possible.
Till tommorrow....
I have seen so many women have children and turn into "the mom". They turned in their sexy dresses for housecoats and sweats. They stopped wearing makeup and embraced flat comfort shoes. In other words they gave up and aged about 10 years overnight.
I agree for the first three months of motherhood, it is difficult to focus on anything other than sleeping but once your baby begins to sleep six hours in a row...you have no excuse. Get back on the sexy horse and turn on the momshell attitude.
Things to remember after motherhood:
1. If you still want to keep your man...the dad...look good. Put on a minimum of mascara and lip gloss in the morning and in the evening.
2. Dress like you care...so he will. Show your best feature off...breast, legs, face, back...whatever. You had a baby...you are a sexy vital WOMAN...bring your sexy back. Wear stilettos and figure flattering clothes.
The initial period of having a baby is shocking for everyone involved. Your life changes dramatically and both Mom and Dad start to think at some point...what have I gotten into. Statistics have shown marriages experience turmoil within the first 0 - 2 years of having a child...so don't go to sleep. Make an effort to look the way you looked before the pregnancy. That is who he married.
3. Lose the weight. You had the baby. You now have no excuse to keep the extra 25 - 40 lbs. Get back to how you looked prior to the pregnancy.
4. If you think your husband is cute, so does another women. Ladies...competition is out there. Purchase sexy lingerie again...the kind you wore to get him down the aisle...and wear it. Your breast and ass has changed...so buy new lacy bras and matching panties.
5. Treat yourself...As a mother you will automatically start sacrificing for your family however do not give up your regular hair appointments, shopping sprees, or facials. You deserve it. Being a mother is exhausting so be sure to replinish your energy and pamper yourself whenever possible.
Till tommorrow....
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Sex Text Your Man
Your Momma never told you to sex text your man on a regular basis.
Sextexting is something we tell our kids/teens never to do. We tell them it's wrong and inappropriate...especially for our girls. From a very young age we program our girls to be discreet and to play down her sexuality...and for good reasons.
But what about us adult women....why can't we sex text our man. If you have already been intimate with your man, he has seen it all. The cat is out of the bag. There is no need to hold back and shut down your sexuality. There is no need to play demure and act like you have little to no experience with sex. There is no need to play the good girl....especially after marriage and children.
So ladies, embrace your adulthood and sexuality, and sex text your man.
You will be shocked at the results. Your man will run home, clean up, take you out, whatever you want because they believe there will be something in it for them....your booty. And ladies, you must DELIVER on your sex text if you want results.
And remember, men are selfish...so play in to their selfish ways. Sex text your man, get him excited, and watch him run around like a dog trying to catch his tail....and then let him catch yours.
Take care ladies.
Sextexting is something we tell our kids/teens never to do. We tell them it's wrong and inappropriate...especially for our girls. From a very young age we program our girls to be discreet and to play down her sexuality...and for good reasons.
But what about us adult women....why can't we sex text our man. If you have already been intimate with your man, he has seen it all. The cat is out of the bag. There is no need to hold back and shut down your sexuality. There is no need to play demure and act like you have little to no experience with sex. There is no need to play the good girl....especially after marriage and children.
So ladies, embrace your adulthood and sexuality, and sex text your man.
You will be shocked at the results. Your man will run home, clean up, take you out, whatever you want because they believe there will be something in it for them....your booty. And ladies, you must DELIVER on your sex text if you want results.
And remember, men are selfish...so play in to their selfish ways. Sex text your man, get him excited, and watch him run around like a dog trying to catch his tail....and then let him catch yours.
Take care ladies.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Never Let Anyone Tell YOU How To Look
My Momma never told me...never let anyone tell you how you should look.
I used to be engaged to a beautiful man. Looking back on it, I think that is why I was with him for 4 years...he looked so damn good to me. One of my girlfriend's even referred to him as Mr. Beautiful.
Sadly, he did not think I looked as beautiful as he did...so he would make subtle but impactful comments. You know you have cellulite... You know, you have a gap in between your front teeth... You know, your hair is too short...you know you would look great with long braids...You know you need to get new clothes...and on and on and on.
At the time, I was 26, 5 foot 7 inches, 128. Size 6. I always got compliments on my appearance and I never even noticed the cellulite until he pointed it out. Unfortunately, I chose to focus on was what he thought and what he said.
So I embarked on a fitness plan that included going to the gym at least one day a week for two hours...sometimes two times a day. I eventually got down to eating less than 500 calories a day. (dangerous and not recommended) I got braces eventhough the orthodonist said he could barely notice my "gap". (expensive and slightly painful) I got long microbraids and updated my wardrobe. (expensive and time consuming) By the time I got to a size 1...yes a size 1...my family was convinced I had an eating disorder...and I did.... but he was thrilled. The cellulite was gone. I, on the other hand, was unrecognizable, exhausted, and mentally torn to shreds.
One day I was looking in the mirror and it dawned on me...just how long can I keep this regimen up....and more importantly do I want to. I realized in that moment, who was making the decision on how I looked...he was. What nerve! What a Fool I was to listen!
Ladies, if you find yourself altering your appearance to please anyone...your man, your husband, your mother, your father...STOP. You have complete control over how you appear in the world. Dress, weigh, and wear your hair, the way you feel comfortable.
Take time to develop and understand your style and appearance...embrace it...and whoever doesn't like...can kiss your ass!
Till Next Time Ladies
I used to be engaged to a beautiful man. Looking back on it, I think that is why I was with him for 4 years...he looked so damn good to me. One of my girlfriend's even referred to him as Mr. Beautiful.
Sadly, he did not think I looked as beautiful as he did...so he would make subtle but impactful comments. You know you have cellulite... You know, you have a gap in between your front teeth... You know, your hair is too short...you know you would look great with long braids...You know you need to get new clothes...and on and on and on.
At the time, I was 26, 5 foot 7 inches, 128. Size 6. I always got compliments on my appearance and I never even noticed the cellulite until he pointed it out. Unfortunately, I chose to focus on was what he thought and what he said.
So I embarked on a fitness plan that included going to the gym at least one day a week for two hours...sometimes two times a day. I eventually got down to eating less than 500 calories a day. (dangerous and not recommended) I got braces eventhough the orthodonist said he could barely notice my "gap". (expensive and slightly painful) I got long microbraids and updated my wardrobe. (expensive and time consuming) By the time I got to a size 1...yes a size 1...my family was convinced I had an eating disorder...and I did.... but he was thrilled. The cellulite was gone. I, on the other hand, was unrecognizable, exhausted, and mentally torn to shreds.
One day I was looking in the mirror and it dawned on me...just how long can I keep this regimen up....and more importantly do I want to. I realized in that moment, who was making the decision on how I looked...he was. What nerve! What a Fool I was to listen!
Ladies, if you find yourself altering your appearance to please anyone...your man, your husband, your mother, your father...STOP. You have complete control over how you appear in the world. Dress, weigh, and wear your hair, the way you feel comfortable.
Take time to develop and understand your style and appearance...embrace it...and whoever doesn't like...can kiss your ass!
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
MIA - Men with good credit
Your Momma Never Told You....don't expect your man to have good credit...but make sure you do!
I used to think it was just me who met men who were not particularly good with money but after hearing story after story after story...I have concluded men with good/superior credit are missing in action. As women, this may be a criteria we have to label...hopeful but not likely...when looking for a man.
Let's face facts, men think in the moment, they aren't planners...we are....but they sure can plan to spend your money. Men are selfish...if they want something they go to the store and get it...we on the other hand think about our purchases...what is best for the budget...and then we just go without. Men like to acquire things...it makes them feel good...we like to have experiences. With facts like these, women must make sure they are good stewards of their money and his if possible.
When it comes to money, follow these rules:
1. If you have a man who can not manage his money, don't give him access to yours (this includes credit cards or cosigning)!
2.If you are living with a man or married, keep an eye on your money, his money, and the money you share.
3. Never let a man have total control of the money. Have monthly meetings and make sure you understand the investments, accounts, transactions, life insurance, 401 K, etc. and the amounts that are in them. If you don't when he dies (hopefully that won't happen, but like I said...we plan), you will be left to pay the bills and figure out what happened to the money you thought you and your children were going to have.
4. Don't tell your husband/mate about all of your money...keep a stash. What he knows about, he will try to spend. If he loses his job or there is financial difficulty, he will be the first to want to cash in your 401 K.
5. Review your checking account(s) balance online daily and set up direct bill payments when possible. Know what is coming in and what is going out.
6. Learn about money and invest for yourself...read Smart Cookies: Guide to Making More Dough.
7. If you want to help him, give him a book on finances, suggests seminars, or tell him you will manage his money for him. Don't give him more money to blow...next thing you know...he will be gone with your money and your credit!
8. If you solely,own a home, get a pre-nup prior to marriage. Make sure you both understand legally what is going to happen if the marriage fails.
9. If you solely, own a home, and you get married...keep it in your name and never sell your home. Rent it. Keep it as a long term investment. Oh! He is going to want you to sell it...but don't.
10. Pay any bill with your name on time and control your debt.
Take care ladies...of your money!
I used to think it was just me who met men who were not particularly good with money but after hearing story after story after story...I have concluded men with good/superior credit are missing in action. As women, this may be a criteria we have to label...hopeful but not likely...when looking for a man.
Let's face facts, men think in the moment, they aren't planners...we are....but they sure can plan to spend your money. Men are selfish...if they want something they go to the store and get it...we on the other hand think about our purchases...what is best for the budget...and then we just go without. Men like to acquire things...it makes them feel good...we like to have experiences. With facts like these, women must make sure they are good stewards of their money and his if possible.
When it comes to money, follow these rules:
1. If you have a man who can not manage his money, don't give him access to yours (this includes credit cards or cosigning)!
2.If you are living with a man or married, keep an eye on your money, his money, and the money you share.
3. Never let a man have total control of the money. Have monthly meetings and make sure you understand the investments, accounts, transactions, life insurance, 401 K, etc. and the amounts that are in them. If you don't when he dies (hopefully that won't happen, but like I said...we plan), you will be left to pay the bills and figure out what happened to the money you thought you and your children were going to have.
4. Don't tell your husband/mate about all of your money...keep a stash. What he knows about, he will try to spend. If he loses his job or there is financial difficulty, he will be the first to want to cash in your 401 K.
5. Review your checking account(s) balance online daily and set up direct bill payments when possible. Know what is coming in and what is going out.
6. Learn about money and invest for yourself...read Smart Cookies: Guide to Making More Dough.
7. If you want to help him, give him a book on finances, suggests seminars, or tell him you will manage his money for him. Don't give him more money to blow...next thing you know...he will be gone with your money and your credit!
8. If you solely,own a home, get a pre-nup prior to marriage. Make sure you both understand legally what is going to happen if the marriage fails.
9. If you solely, own a home, and you get married...keep it in your name and never sell your home. Rent it. Keep it as a long term investment. Oh! He is going to want you to sell it...but don't.
10. Pay any bill with your name on time and control your debt.
Take care ladies...of your money!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Hairdo Fashion
Your Momma Never Told You to put on your makeup and get dressed as if you have somewhere to go when going to the hairdresser...you will get the results you are looking for.
Have you ever taken a moment to look at the other women sitting at the hairdresser? Most of them come in the door in sweatpants and t-shirts. I guess the thought is that they want to be comfortable but they are sending a secret message to the hairdresser to take your time....I have no where to go, so take your time....WRONG!
When I go to the hairdresser,every two weeks at 6:30 am (ok...I am an early bird) I get fully dressed and apply make up as if I have a hot date or a job to go to. The hidden message(s) I send to my hairdresser is:
1. Take special care not to get anything on my clothes
2. Do your best because I am about to be seen by others (potential clients)
3. I have somewhere important to go
4. And most importantly...hurry up! I don't have time to wait.
Many women waste a good hairdo by leaving the hairdresser....dressed like they just came from the gym...then they go home take a shower...watch the curls fall...and then try to pull it together to go out later that evening. Ladies you have just wasted precious "prance time".
The moment you get your hair done...you should take full advantage of your fresh hair by being seen immediately. If you are ready to go, dressed with your make up applied, you can leave the hairdresser and immediately go attract a man. Make a date, go to the mall, go for brunch...do something. Remember men like things that sparkle...that includes your hair. Go to a public place...and walk/prance around....be seen and soak up the compliments.
It will do wonders for your social calendar and your ego!
Til next time ladies!
Have you ever taken a moment to look at the other women sitting at the hairdresser? Most of them come in the door in sweatpants and t-shirts. I guess the thought is that they want to be comfortable but they are sending a secret message to the hairdresser to take your time....I have no where to go, so take your time....WRONG!
When I go to the hairdresser,every two weeks at 6:30 am (ok...I am an early bird) I get fully dressed and apply make up as if I have a hot date or a job to go to. The hidden message(s) I send to my hairdresser is:
1. Take special care not to get anything on my clothes
2. Do your best because I am about to be seen by others (potential clients)
3. I have somewhere important to go
4. And most importantly...hurry up! I don't have time to wait.
Many women waste a good hairdo by leaving the hairdresser....dressed like they just came from the gym...then they go home take a shower...watch the curls fall...and then try to pull it together to go out later that evening. Ladies you have just wasted precious "prance time".
The moment you get your hair done...you should take full advantage of your fresh hair by being seen immediately. If you are ready to go, dressed with your make up applied, you can leave the hairdresser and immediately go attract a man. Make a date, go to the mall, go for brunch...do something. Remember men like things that sparkle...that includes your hair. Go to a public place...and walk/prance around....be seen and soak up the compliments.
It will do wonders for your social calendar and your ego!
Til next time ladies!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Marriage is a Season
My Momma Never Told Me marriage is a season…it may not be forever…and that is ok.
All of us have heard the vows spoken at a wedding…til death do us part. My parents stayed together for over 30 years until my mother died over 20 years ago...so I took those vows seriously when I married.
I felt that no matter what, I was committing to God and everyone in the church that I was going to stay with this man/my husband until I died or he died. Looking back on it…that was pretty scary. I think it is this part of the vows that gets us in trouble. It is why men and women fear marrying.
What happens if he/she makes a mistake and marries the wrong person? What happens if the person he/she marries changes? What happens if other parts of the vows are broken? What if the person becomes abusive or mentally ill? Well, what happens according to the vows is you stay with this person until you die which could mean you, your family, your children suffer....and then die. Really? How long is the suffering going to last?
When I realize I was in a marriage that was not working I was in my early 30’s. I stayed much longer than I should have because of the “til death do us part” vow. But over the years I kept asking myself, what if I live until 70…and he lives until 71. I will have to be unhappy for 40 more years. I started to believe there was no way, with the everyday stress of the marriage, I would even to age 40. Or....what if have only one year left...is this where I want to spend it? My thoughts became very scary and I knew my thoughts we not healthy. Anyway, after several years, I left the marriage.
I used to say my marriage failed because it did not last forever but when I look at it as a season I would say it was pretty successful.It is a season. For me, it was the season I had my children and became a mother, it was a season I grew up, it was the season I learned about my strength, it was a season of happy times and sad times, and for me…that season is over.
When you get married or if you are married…hopefully it will last for your lifetime…hopefully it will be forever fulfilling and lovely. It is possible.
But I would suggest to you that you think of your marriage (new or old) as a season. When you think of it that way, it is not as scary. It may be a season that lasts 5 months, 5 years, 15 years, or 50 years. There will be ups and downs...maybe endings. The reality is it could end due to divorce, mental illness/addiction or sickness, or death.
Now, I am in a new season…and that is just fine. How about you?
Til next time ladies!
All of us have heard the vows spoken at a wedding…til death do us part. My parents stayed together for over 30 years until my mother died over 20 years ago...so I took those vows seriously when I married.
I felt that no matter what, I was committing to God and everyone in the church that I was going to stay with this man/my husband until I died or he died. Looking back on it…that was pretty scary. I think it is this part of the vows that gets us in trouble. It is why men and women fear marrying.
What happens if he/she makes a mistake and marries the wrong person? What happens if the person he/she marries changes? What happens if other parts of the vows are broken? What if the person becomes abusive or mentally ill? Well, what happens according to the vows is you stay with this person until you die which could mean you, your family, your children suffer....and then die. Really? How long is the suffering going to last?
When I realize I was in a marriage that was not working I was in my early 30’s. I stayed much longer than I should have because of the “til death do us part” vow. But over the years I kept asking myself, what if I live until 70…and he lives until 71. I will have to be unhappy for 40 more years. I started to believe there was no way, with the everyday stress of the marriage, I would even to age 40. Or....what if have only one year left...is this where I want to spend it? My thoughts became very scary and I knew my thoughts we not healthy. Anyway, after several years, I left the marriage.
I used to say my marriage failed because it did not last forever but when I look at it as a season I would say it was pretty successful.It is a season. For me, it was the season I had my children and became a mother, it was a season I grew up, it was the season I learned about my strength, it was a season of happy times and sad times, and for me…that season is over.
When you get married or if you are married…hopefully it will last for your lifetime…hopefully it will be forever fulfilling and lovely. It is possible.
But I would suggest to you that you think of your marriage (new or old) as a season. When you think of it that way, it is not as scary. It may be a season that lasts 5 months, 5 years, 15 years, or 50 years. There will be ups and downs...maybe endings. The reality is it could end due to divorce, mental illness/addiction or sickness, or death.
Now, I am in a new season…and that is just fine. How about you?
Til next time ladies!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Snake Eyes or a Seven
Snake Eyes or a Seven
Your MOMMA never told you, marriage is a crap shoot. You may roll a seven or you may roll snake eyes. It takes a little skill and a lot of luck to find a great mate.
We have all seen the recent headlines. Sandra Bullock a devoted wife, million dollar movie star …embarrassed by a philandering husband. Halle Berry , a devoted wife, million dollar movie star, ….embarrassed by a philandering husband. Jenny Sandford, devoted wife to a governor, mother of four sons …embarrassed by a philandering husband. Elin Woods, wife of Tiger Woods…need I say anymore. I could go on and on but why. All of these intelligent women took the time to meet, get to know, and marry their now husbands/ex-husbands. I am sure they thought at the time of the marriage, they were making the best decision on whom to spend their lives with and have their children. They purchased homes, curtains, sheets, cars….and began a life together with the full intention of staying with the man they chose forever.
My point is…you can’t over think it. You can not be prepared for what is coming around the corner. Make the best decision for yourself right now and enjoy it. Remember Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal when she blew on the dice…and Robert Redford rolled a seven and won a million dollars. Maybe that’s not the best example but hey…she ended up with her husband in the end. There is no full proof method for having a long lasting marriage…the only thing you can do is find a good friend and roll the dice and blow on him every so often….
Good luck ladies....
Your MOMMA never told you, marriage is a crap shoot. You may roll a seven or you may roll snake eyes. It takes a little skill and a lot of luck to find a great mate.
We have all seen the recent headlines. Sandra Bullock a devoted wife, million dollar movie star …embarrassed by a philandering husband. Halle Berry , a devoted wife, million dollar movie star, ….embarrassed by a philandering husband. Jenny Sandford, devoted wife to a governor, mother of four sons …embarrassed by a philandering husband. Elin Woods, wife of Tiger Woods…need I say anymore. I could go on and on but why. All of these intelligent women took the time to meet, get to know, and marry their now husbands/ex-husbands. I am sure they thought at the time of the marriage, they were making the best decision on whom to spend their lives with and have their children. They purchased homes, curtains, sheets, cars….and began a life together with the full intention of staying with the man they chose forever.
My point is…you can’t over think it. You can not be prepared for what is coming around the corner. Make the best decision for yourself right now and enjoy it. Remember Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal when she blew on the dice…and Robert Redford rolled a seven and won a million dollars. Maybe that’s not the best example but hey…she ended up with her husband in the end. There is no full proof method for having a long lasting marriage…the only thing you can do is find a good friend and roll the dice and blow on him every so often….
Good luck ladies....
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