Marriage is a Season

My Momma Never Told Me marriage is a season…it may not be forever…and that is ok.


All of us have heard the vows spoken at a wedding…til death do us part. My parents stayed together for over 30 years until my mother died over 20 years ago...so I took those vows seriously when I married.

I felt that no matter what, I was committing to God and everyone in the church that I was going to stay with this man/my husband until I died or he died. Looking back on it…that was pretty scary. I think it is this part of the vows that gets us in trouble. It is why men and women fear marrying.

What happens if he/she makes a mistake and marries the wrong person? What happens if the person he/she marries changes? What happens if other parts of the vows are broken? What if the person becomes abusive or mentally ill? Well, what happens according to the vows is you stay with this person until you die which could mean you, your family, your children suffer....and then die. Really? How long is the suffering going to last?


When I realize I was in a marriage that was not working I was in my early 30’s. I stayed much longer than I should have because of the “til death do us part” vow. But over the years I kept asking myself, what if I live until 70…and he lives until 71. I will have to be unhappy for 40 more years. I started to believe there was no way, with the everyday stress of the marriage, I would even to age 40. Or....what if have only one year left...is this where I want to spend it? My thoughts became very scary and I knew my thoughts we not healthy. Anyway, after several years, I left the marriage.

I used to say my marriage failed because it did not last forever but when I look at it as a season I would say it was pretty successful.It is a season. For me, it was the season I had my children and became a mother, it was a season I grew up, it was the season I learned about my strength, it was a season of happy times and sad times, and for me…that season is over.

When you get married or if you are married…hopefully it will last for your lifetime…hopefully it will be forever fulfilling and lovely. It is possible.

But I would suggest to you that you think of your marriage (new or old) as a season. When you think of it that way, it is not as scary. It may be a season that lasts 5 months, 5 years, 15 years, or 50 years. There will be ups and downs...maybe endings. The reality is it could end due to divorce, mental illness/addiction or sickness, or death.

Now, I am in a new season…and that is just fine. How about you?

Til next time ladies!