Never Let Anyone Tell YOU How To Look

My Momma never told me...never let anyone tell you how you should look.

I used to be engaged to a beautiful man. Looking back on it, I think that is why I was with him for 4 years...he looked so damn good to me. One of my girlfriend's even referred to him as Mr. Beautiful.

Sadly, he did not think I looked as beautiful as he did...so he would make subtle but impactful comments. You know you have cellulite... You know, you have a gap in between your front teeth... You know, your hair is too short...you know you would look great with long braids...You know you need to get new clothes...and on and on and on.

At the time, I was 26, 5 foot 7 inches, 128. Size 6. I always got compliments on my appearance and I never even noticed the cellulite until he pointed it out. Unfortunately, I chose to focus on was what he thought and what he said.

So I embarked on a fitness plan that included going to the gym at least one day a week for two hours...sometimes two times a day. I eventually got down to eating less than 500 calories a day. (dangerous and not recommended) I got braces eventhough the orthodonist said he could barely notice my "gap". (expensive and slightly painful) I got long microbraids and updated my wardrobe. (expensive and time consuming) By the time I got to a size 1...yes a size 1...my family was convinced I had an eating disorder...and I did.... but he was thrilled. The cellulite was gone. I, on the other hand, was unrecognizable, exhausted, and mentally torn to shreds.

One day I was looking in the mirror and it dawned on me...just how long can I keep this regimen up....and more importantly do I want to. I realized in that moment, who was making the decision on how I looked...he was. What nerve! What a Fool I was to listen!

Ladies, if you find yourself altering your appearance to please anyone...your man, your husband, your mother, your father...STOP. You have complete control over how you appear in the world. Dress, weigh, and wear your hair, the way you feel comfortable.

Take time to develop and understand your style and appearance...embrace it...and whoever doesn't like...can kiss your ass!

Till Next Time Ladies