SAY NO and Let the Chips Fall!

Your Momma never told you...say NO and let the chips fall.

When I was growing up, somewhere I got the message that saying NO was something you just should not do. When my parents asked me to do something, I was expected to do it. Saying NO was met with a evil glare, punishment, or a spanking. I learned pretty quickly that saying NO was just not an option.

This message carried over into my adult life. I always found it hard to tell people NO. I just did not want to rock the boat. Maybe subconsciously I thought the NO would be met with some form of punishment or the person would not like me any more. I don't know...but I started to realize I was doing a lot of things I did not want to do.

When I was married, my then husband's family went to the graveyard every morning on Christmas to visit a relative's grave. I found this odd and hated to go...especially since it was my birthday...and my mother had died. It was just a morbid thing to do...but of course...I did not say NO. I was afraid he would get mad...or maybe I would be perceived as selfish or his family would not like me....so I went for the first few years.

Every year I would suggest we stay home and build our own traditions, but my then husband and his family would put the pressure on...and I would cave in like a jellyfish. I would even suggest going on Xmas eve but to no avail.

The year my second child was born I decided I was no longer going to participate in the graveyard tradition. I announced to my then husband NO we are not going this year. My then husband was furious...and gave me a verbal lashing...but I stood my ground. It was the first time I truly stood up in our marriage for something I just simply did not want to do...or enjoy....and I did not think it was healthy for the girls. My then husband went on with his family to the graveyard...while the girls and I stayed in for the morning. I wish I could say my ex stayed home and we developed a new tradition for our family...but that did not happen...and that is not the point.

My point...ladies...if you are participating in something you don't want to do...say NO and stop doing it. Take note of when you agree to do something and then later feel resentment that you have to follow through. Remember you always have the choice to say NO.

Make decisions based on what is good for you and your well being....and not out fear of other people's reactions.

Till Next Time Ladies