Your Momma never told you to develop your own set of affirmations and recite them daily...until you believe them.
About five years ago, I started to develop a set of affirmations to live by. Affirmations are simply positive statements that you can help you make changes in your life or in my case represent my beliefs and who I am. Affirmations can help develop a powerful and positive attitude to life and can be used to manifest change in your life.
As women, we often become influenced by what others think and by what others want us to do. We do not want to disappoint or seem selfish. We want to be agreeable and "nice". Actually ladies...it is not our fault. We are culturally raised to be kind and sweet. Now ladies...I am not saying not to be kind. What I am saying is if we are not careful, our kindness can turn into passiveness...which can turn into becoming someone we are not. One of the ways we can always be true to ourselves and make the best decisions in our lives is to write down affirmations that are representative of who we are and who we wish to be. I found this technique especially helpful when I was going through my divorce. It was a time I was questioning everything about my beliefs, who I was, what I was being told, what others thought of me, who my friends were, who my enemies were, where I was going to live, what I was going to do...and on and on. I came up with twenty affirmations that I began reciting to myself everyday in order to remind myself of the great things about myself that I loved. Ladies...I encourage you to do the same. Post them in your home or in your bathroom mirror. Read them every day until one day...when you are faced with a difficult situationsor someone questions your choices ....you can recite the affirmation that applies and know what to do.
Here is a sample of ten of my affirmations just to give you some ideas.
Ten Affirmative Statements
1. My feelings are real and valuable and, therefore; should be honored by others.
2. I live by my set of morals and values that are not influenced by others.
3. I make decisions about my life that are comfortable to me and my children first and foremost.
4. I know the difference between right and wrong and will not be convinced otherwise.
5. I can handle anything on my own.
6. I do not need anyone to validate my worth or existence.
7. I am a good person worthy of love and respect.
8. I am in control of my life and who comes in it and who goes out of it.
9. I am committed to making my children feel safe and loved at all times.
10. I do not fear other people’s reactions to my decisions.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Are you rhe person you most admire?
Your Momma never told you....if asked the question...Who do you most admire? The answer should be yourself.
I spend a lot of time writing on a computer writing at work. There is often complete silence for hours and hours in my department The only thing you can hear is the people thinking, reading, or writing....all day long. As you can imagine...the quiet can be almost unbearable at times.
For fun, one of my co-workers emailed a survey to all of the employees in my department to generate some excitement and to break up the day. The "Get to Know You" survey consisted of a list of twenty oddball questions designed to let everyone know about each other. "Where is the farthest place you have traveled?" "Ketchup or Mustard?" "What is your favorite movie?" You get the picture. When I took the survey, I found the last question to be the most interesting. "Who do you most admire?"
Ladies....when I came to this question, I put down the first person that came to mind. Me. Ladies, this is not to say I do not admire my mother or father or Maya Angelou...or my friend who fought cancer so bravely. I most certainly do. Ladies....I am just at a point in my life where I can say that I admire all that I am and all that I do each day of the week as a woman, as an ex-wife, as a co-worker, as a mother, as a sister, as a aunt, as a friend, girlfriend, as a lover, and as a mother. I am not perfect by no means but ladies...I can say that I TRY to do my best to do the right thing. I can say that I admire myself for being a fighter and a survivor of all of the things that has happened over the last forty years. I have taken the punches that life can throw...and I am still standing and still enjoying the ride. I know who I am and I like who I am.
When thinking about this question, a young woman came to mind. She spent a lot of time in bed and quite frankly in denial. She said she felt hopeless and powerless. I spent hours talking to this woman. I encouraged her to get help and to get out of her abusive situation. Ladies...I could see in her eyes each time I spoke to her...she did not admire herself at all. Her self esteem was at an all time low and she was overcome with sadness. Ladies...the young woman I am speaking of....is me...many years ago. I thank God to this day...I am no longer that woman.
Ladies....the results of our survey revealed that only one person other person gave the same response I did to that question. Maybe the other forty three people did not want to seem arrogant. Maybe they truly admired their parents (which was the most popular answer) or maybe...the answer "Myself" never even entered their minds.
Ladies...who is the person you most admire? Is it you? Are you even on the list?
Till Next Time Ladies
I spend a lot of time writing on a computer writing at work. There is often complete silence for hours and hours in my department The only thing you can hear is the people thinking, reading, or writing....all day long. As you can imagine...the quiet can be almost unbearable at times.
For fun, one of my co-workers emailed a survey to all of the employees in my department to generate some excitement and to break up the day. The "Get to Know You" survey consisted of a list of twenty oddball questions designed to let everyone know about each other. "Where is the farthest place you have traveled?" "Ketchup or Mustard?" "What is your favorite movie?" You get the picture. When I took the survey, I found the last question to be the most interesting. "Who do you most admire?"
Ladies....when I came to this question, I put down the first person that came to mind. Me. Ladies, this is not to say I do not admire my mother or father or Maya Angelou...or my friend who fought cancer so bravely. I most certainly do. Ladies....I am just at a point in my life where I can say that I admire all that I am and all that I do each day of the week as a woman, as an ex-wife, as a co-worker, as a mother, as a sister, as a aunt, as a friend, girlfriend, as a lover, and as a mother. I am not perfect by no means but ladies...I can say that I TRY to do my best to do the right thing. I can say that I admire myself for being a fighter and a survivor of all of the things that has happened over the last forty years. I have taken the punches that life can throw...and I am still standing and still enjoying the ride. I know who I am and I like who I am.
When thinking about this question, a young woman came to mind. She spent a lot of time in bed and quite frankly in denial. She said she felt hopeless and powerless. I spent hours talking to this woman. I encouraged her to get help and to get out of her abusive situation. Ladies...I could see in her eyes each time I spoke to her...she did not admire herself at all. Her self esteem was at an all time low and she was overcome with sadness. Ladies...the young woman I am speaking of....is me...many years ago. I thank God to this day...I am no longer that woman.
Ladies....the results of our survey revealed that only one person other person gave the same response I did to that question. Maybe the other forty three people did not want to seem arrogant. Maybe they truly admired their parents (which was the most popular answer) or maybe...the answer "Myself" never even entered their minds.
Ladies...who is the person you most admire? Is it you? Are you even on the list?
Till Next Time Ladies
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Signs of an Immature Man
Your Momma never told you the 15 signs that you are with an immature man.
Ladies, don't fall into the false thinking that you can grow up a man. You can grow up a baby...but when you are with a man...the basic teaching has been completed. Someone has already spent eighteen years growing up the man...now you are stuck with the results of that teaching.
If your man is not grown, don't make the mistake that you can reverse, improve, or renew the teaching that occurred over the period of his childhood. Look at who he is and decide...is this an immature man? If he is....run, run, run,....ladies...because you are dating the equivalent of a destructive teenager.
Sign you are dating an immature man.
1. He goes to the bar every week with his friends and gets drunk.
2. His car has an upgraded stereo system, sparkling rims, and custom seating.
3. His idea of a great vacation is going to an amusement park.
4. He plays video games and believes he is winning.
5. He regularly gets in verbal or physical fights with family, friends, his employer, and coworkers.
6. He has a child or children he does not see or pay for.
7. He lies when he thinks he is going to get in trouble.
8. He is unable to have any deep conversations (superficial conversation).
9. He wears his pants on his thighs.
10. He dwells in vivid happy memories of the past.
11. He can not manage money or keep a job.
12. He throws "mantrums" to get what he wants.
13. He spends all his money on gadgets, toys, booze, sports, car upgrades, and electronics.
14. He expects you to clean up his mess.
15. He was funny as hell but now you want him to go to hell.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Ladies, don't fall into the false thinking that you can grow up a man. You can grow up a baby...but when you are with a man...the basic teaching has been completed. Someone has already spent eighteen years growing up the man...now you are stuck with the results of that teaching.
If your man is not grown, don't make the mistake that you can reverse, improve, or renew the teaching that occurred over the period of his childhood. Look at who he is and decide...is this an immature man? If he is....run, run, run,....ladies...because you are dating the equivalent of a destructive teenager.
Sign you are dating an immature man.
1. He goes to the bar every week with his friends and gets drunk.
2. His car has an upgraded stereo system, sparkling rims, and custom seating.
3. His idea of a great vacation is going to an amusement park.
4. He plays video games and believes he is winning.
5. He regularly gets in verbal or physical fights with family, friends, his employer, and coworkers.
6. He has a child or children he does not see or pay for.
7. He lies when he thinks he is going to get in trouble.
8. He is unable to have any deep conversations (superficial conversation).
9. He wears his pants on his thighs.
10. He dwells in vivid happy memories of the past.
11. He can not manage money or keep a job.
12. He throws "mantrums" to get what he wants.
13. He spends all his money on gadgets, toys, booze, sports, car upgrades, and electronics.
14. He expects you to clean up his mess.
15. He was funny as hell but now you want him to go to hell.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Don't Waste Time on Sperm You Will Never Use
Your Momma never told you....don't waste time on sperm you will never use.
I was talking to a single friend of mine that is approaching age 30. She really is in no hurry to get married but does want a family and children. She travels and has a great work life. She is seeing someone but in her words...."What's the rush? Women have children at 40 years old nowadays."
Poor girl...she had bought into the Hollywood myth that it is easy to get pregnant with your FIRST child at 40. Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kelly Preston, Celine Dion....yes....they can have children whenever they want...why? They have plenty of money, resources, time, frozen eggs, egg donors, specialists, surrogates, and sperm donors. And trust me...these women have gone through some heartache as well. I had to give her a wake up call.
Ladies...if you are approaching 30 and are unmarried and want children....wake up....you are approaching the starting line for the Fertility Race. You have to find your sperm...date it...get it down the aisle...and get pregnant with it. WAKE UP...ladies...this takes time.
Now, I was pregnant with my first child at 33 and my second at 35....so ladies...I am not saying it is hopeless....but what I am saying is after 30...it starts getting harder and harder. I myself had one lazy ovary that just stopped producing eggs and blocked tubes. I had to have my tubes flushed (painful) and have sex non stop ....because I only release six eggs in a year...to get my first baby. The whole process took two years but after that...it was smooth sailing...I got pregnant with my second...right away. My body woke up and started producing. I even have friends that have had ANOTHER child in their 40's...but very few if any...had their FIRST child at 40...without a lot of help.
But ladies...what do you do if you are dating a guy....but know in your heart....he is not husband material or father material? My advice....if you are approaching 30....you need to lockdown quality sperm as soon as possible. In other words, don't waste time on sperm you know you will never use. Get rid of a man that has no potential to be the father of your children. That is right ladies...when you get 30...you have to start thinking strategically and logically....find the man you want to be the father of your children...and lockdown the dna. I hate to say it but...when you die...there is no guarantee your man will be there...but your children...they will be there in your life till the end.
If you want a family...if you want a legacy...if you want some part of you left on this earth when you are gone...wake up ladies...and get focused....and find the sperm you need to produce.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I was talking to a single friend of mine that is approaching age 30. She really is in no hurry to get married but does want a family and children. She travels and has a great work life. She is seeing someone but in her words...."What's the rush? Women have children at 40 years old nowadays."
Poor girl...she had bought into the Hollywood myth that it is easy to get pregnant with your FIRST child at 40. Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kelly Preston, Celine Dion....yes....they can have children whenever they want...why? They have plenty of money, resources, time, frozen eggs, egg donors, specialists, surrogates, and sperm donors. And trust me...these women have gone through some heartache as well. I had to give her a wake up call.
Ladies...if you are approaching 30 and are unmarried and want children....wake up....you are approaching the starting line for the Fertility Race. You have to find your sperm...date it...get it down the aisle...and get pregnant with it. WAKE UP...ladies...this takes time.
Now, I was pregnant with my first child at 33 and my second at 35....so ladies...I am not saying it is hopeless....but what I am saying is after 30...it starts getting harder and harder. I myself had one lazy ovary that just stopped producing eggs and blocked tubes. I had to have my tubes flushed (painful) and have sex non stop ....because I only release six eggs in a year...to get my first baby. The whole process took two years but after that...it was smooth sailing...I got pregnant with my second...right away. My body woke up and started producing. I even have friends that have had ANOTHER child in their 40's...but very few if any...had their FIRST child at 40...without a lot of help.
But ladies...what do you do if you are dating a guy....but know in your heart....he is not husband material or father material? My advice....if you are approaching 30....you need to lockdown quality sperm as soon as possible. In other words, don't waste time on sperm you know you will never use. Get rid of a man that has no potential to be the father of your children. That is right ladies...when you get 30...you have to start thinking strategically and logically....find the man you want to be the father of your children...and lockdown the dna. I hate to say it but...when you die...there is no guarantee your man will be there...but your children...they will be there in your life till the end.
If you want a family...if you want a legacy...if you want some part of you left on this earth when you are gone...wake up ladies...and get focused....and find the sperm you need to produce.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Pretending is For Girls Under 10
Your Momma never told you that pretending is for girls under 10.
I was talking to my boyfriend about heartbreaks and I thought of a man I was engaged to previously. I had dated this man for four years. Ladies...you know sometimes you can eat, drink, and sleep a man....well...that was pretty much what I did. Year after year after year....but the funny thing was...he never felt the same about me...and I knew it....but I chose to pretend he did.
I truly gave and was willing to give ...everything I could to this man and then finnaly the day came and he asked me to marry him. When I got the inexpensive ring...I pulled it out...and he said...while sitting on the floor...."Well girl...you know what that means." That was it ladies....the most romantic proposal I have ever gotten...well up until that day. It was such a let down...so sad and without passion....so I pretended to hear..."I love you..and can't imagine my life without you...will you marry me?" I pretended there were flowers...red roses...and we were on the shore of my favorite Carribean beach. I pretended the ring was a custom made diamond that he searched all over town for.
So I took the ring... put it on my finger...and pretended it was a real proposal...and said yes. I remember asking him when we could get married....for me...tomorrow was not soon enough....remember...I ate, slept, and drank...this "tall drink of water". He, on the other hand, said in a panicked voice..."We have to be engaged at least a year. That is the rule." Well, I should have seen the hesistation in his eyes...actually, it had been there for years...but I chose to ignore it...and just hoped for the best.
Needless to say, a year later, we weren't married. Needless, to say...we never got married. The truth was I was not for him....and he was not for me...and that is ok. We both survived the disappointment. But ladies..the point is...don't waste time pretending something is great...when it really is not. Learn to hear exactly what is said....don't pretend not to see or hear something and hope for the best. Look at the reality...and don't waste your time pretending.
Till Next Time Ladies....
I was talking to my boyfriend about heartbreaks and I thought of a man I was engaged to previously. I had dated this man for four years. Ladies...you know sometimes you can eat, drink, and sleep a man....well...that was pretty much what I did. Year after year after year....but the funny thing was...he never felt the same about me...and I knew it....but I chose to pretend he did.
I truly gave and was willing to give ...everything I could to this man and then finnaly the day came and he asked me to marry him. When I got the inexpensive ring...I pulled it out...and he said...while sitting on the floor...."Well girl...you know what that means." That was it ladies....the most romantic proposal I have ever gotten...well up until that day. It was such a let down...so sad and without passion....so I pretended to hear..."I love you..and can't imagine my life without you...will you marry me?" I pretended there were flowers...red roses...and we were on the shore of my favorite Carribean beach. I pretended the ring was a custom made diamond that he searched all over town for.
So I took the ring... put it on my finger...and pretended it was a real proposal...and said yes. I remember asking him when we could get married....for me...tomorrow was not soon enough....remember...I ate, slept, and drank...this "tall drink of water". He, on the other hand, said in a panicked voice..."We have to be engaged at least a year. That is the rule." Well, I should have seen the hesistation in his eyes...actually, it had been there for years...but I chose to ignore it...and just hoped for the best.
Needless to say, a year later, we weren't married. Needless, to say...we never got married. The truth was I was not for him....and he was not for me...and that is ok. We both survived the disappointment. But ladies..the point is...don't waste time pretending something is great...when it really is not. Learn to hear exactly what is said....don't pretend not to see or hear something and hope for the best. Look at the reality...and don't waste your time pretending.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Friday, September 17, 2010
Don't Leave Home without the Tweezers
Your Momma never told you not to leave the house without a set of tweezers.
Ladies...I hate to break the news to you but generally, after 30....gray hairs start to appear in the front of your hairline. You won't know the date or the time, but one day, you will look in the mirror and they will suddenly be there. Don't panic. Don't cry. Just sit back and gain control with a pair of tweezers. Now I know the old wives tale...if you tweeze one...two will grow back...but ladies...I hate to break it to you...the fact is you are going gray. In the beginning, if you like, you can manage the straggle gray hairs with tweezers but eventually, you will have to face the truth...and come up with the cash to get a good dye job regularly.
The second bit of news is...ladies....as you pass the 40 mark...other hairs will begin to grow in unusual places. For example, I was driving home from Marshalls the other day when I went to adjust my rear view mirror. I took a peek at my face to make sure I had lip gloss on...when to my surprise I noticed something on my chin. As I looked closer and closer, you can imagine my surprise when I saw a long black chin hair. I tried to pluck it with my fingers immediately but all it did was curl up. I was mortified....and ladies...I had no tweezers. Well you can understand why I skipped all my other stops for the afternoon and raced home to grab my tweezers. I pulled it out and just tried to pretend the whole thing was a nightmare..but it wasn't. For me, chin hairs...yes...straggle chin hairs have started to appear. The only good news is that they are not gray.
But ladies...I can't say the same about my salt and pepper eyebrows...I started tweezing the grays years ago but now I just use make up or dye them also.
Now, I could go on ladies...but you get the picture...carry tweezers with you at all times...you don't want to get stuck out an about with a runaway hair....and ladies...there is no need to look older than you are.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...I hate to break the news to you but generally, after 30....gray hairs start to appear in the front of your hairline. You won't know the date or the time, but one day, you will look in the mirror and they will suddenly be there. Don't panic. Don't cry. Just sit back and gain control with a pair of tweezers. Now I know the old wives tale...if you tweeze one...two will grow back...but ladies...I hate to break it to you...the fact is you are going gray. In the beginning, if you like, you can manage the straggle gray hairs with tweezers but eventually, you will have to face the truth...and come up with the cash to get a good dye job regularly.
The second bit of news is...ladies....as you pass the 40 mark...other hairs will begin to grow in unusual places. For example, I was driving home from Marshalls the other day when I went to adjust my rear view mirror. I took a peek at my face to make sure I had lip gloss on...when to my surprise I noticed something on my chin. As I looked closer and closer, you can imagine my surprise when I saw a long black chin hair. I tried to pluck it with my fingers immediately but all it did was curl up. I was mortified....and ladies...I had no tweezers. Well you can understand why I skipped all my other stops for the afternoon and raced home to grab my tweezers. I pulled it out and just tried to pretend the whole thing was a nightmare..but it wasn't. For me, chin hairs...yes...straggle chin hairs have started to appear. The only good news is that they are not gray.
But ladies...I can't say the same about my salt and pepper eyebrows...I started tweezing the grays years ago but now I just use make up or dye them also.
Now, I could go on ladies...but you get the picture...carry tweezers with you at all times...you don't want to get stuck out an about with a runaway hair....and ladies...there is no need to look older than you are.
Till Next Time Ladies
Friday, September 10, 2010
Keep Your Feet Neat
Your Momma never told you, keep your feet neat.
Ladies...take your shoes off right now and look at your feet. Ladies, as we get older, one of the first things to show wear and tear is our feet. I had a friend who was actually walking with a cane because she had a bunion. She was 38 at the time and when I saw her actually walking with a cane I went beserk. I told her that her feet were a vital part of her body and there was no reason she was not taking care of them. Regular pedicures would have revealed a bunion forming and she could have had it taken care of before it got to the point of impeding her daily walking. Note: If you have a corn or bunion, go to the doctor and get it removed and/or treated immediately. And let's not mention how her feet actually looked...yikes! No one wants to see messed up ashy scaly feet.
Remember the scene in the movie Boomerang when Eddie Murphy pulled the cover up to reveal a woman's feet. If the feet were ugly, he never saw the woman again. While I think that is a ridiculous reaction, ladies, there was a point to checking how the feet were kept. Let's face it, how you keep your feet says something about you to your man. If you keep your toes polished and feet well pedicured...it says I take care of myself...I love being a woman...I take care of myself...and I expect you, my man, to give me the time and the money for my upkeep. If your feet are never taken care of and a mess, it says....I could care less...I don't take care of myself...I just require the basics...food and water....and ladies...that is all your man will provide.
Just last week, my man left me a wad of cash on my dresser because he knew I was going to get my regular pedicure. Ladies...I have a job and can pay for things myself...but there is nothing like receiving a wad of cash when you don't expect it. My man, knows....it's not easy keeping it together but is willing to support my efforts because he loves the results....pretty smooth feet with no bunions or corns.
Don't neglect yourself ladies....keep those feet neat.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...take your shoes off right now and look at your feet. Ladies, as we get older, one of the first things to show wear and tear is our feet. I had a friend who was actually walking with a cane because she had a bunion. She was 38 at the time and when I saw her actually walking with a cane I went beserk. I told her that her feet were a vital part of her body and there was no reason she was not taking care of them. Regular pedicures would have revealed a bunion forming and she could have had it taken care of before it got to the point of impeding her daily walking. Note: If you have a corn or bunion, go to the doctor and get it removed and/or treated immediately. And let's not mention how her feet actually looked...yikes! No one wants to see messed up ashy scaly feet.
Remember the scene in the movie Boomerang when Eddie Murphy pulled the cover up to reveal a woman's feet. If the feet were ugly, he never saw the woman again. While I think that is a ridiculous reaction, ladies, there was a point to checking how the feet were kept. Let's face it, how you keep your feet says something about you to your man. If you keep your toes polished and feet well pedicured...it says I take care of myself...I love being a woman...I take care of myself...and I expect you, my man, to give me the time and the money for my upkeep. If your feet are never taken care of and a mess, it says....I could care less...I don't take care of myself...I just require the basics...food and water....and ladies...that is all your man will provide.
Just last week, my man left me a wad of cash on my dresser because he knew I was going to get my regular pedicure. Ladies...I have a job and can pay for things myself...but there is nothing like receiving a wad of cash when you don't expect it. My man, knows....it's not easy keeping it together but is willing to support my efforts because he loves the results....pretty smooth feet with no bunions or corns.
Don't neglect yourself ladies....keep those feet neat.
Till Next Time Ladies
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Don't let a Wheelchair Move For You
Your Momma never told you that you in order to stay out of a wheelchair....exercise every day.
My daughters learned how to ride horses this year at a farm near our home. One day I was picking the kids up when a woman jogged up sweating bullets. Her daughter came out and said...."Mom, you jogged all the way here?" The woman said "Of course, lets go"...and the two of them walked out of the barn, up the hill, around the corner, and I presume home.
I stood there in shock. It never ever has crossed my mind to jog to any place much less to pick my kids up from a riding lesson. I don't jog to the store, or the school, or to my girlfriends. It just never crossed my mind. The woman jogger was fit as a fiddle...and she was my age (at least). She looked so healthy and radiant....even through the sweat. So, I decided to start to jog. I went to the local track and started to walk. I figured I would work up to jogging. Actually, back in the day, I used to be an exercise fanatic but in the last few years... life... has taken over my love of exercise....anyway, I felt I was ready to get back on track. ( no pun intended). As I was walking, a 65 + year old man jogged by me...this man's legs were perfection. I know it sounds crazy but his legs were tight like a 25 year olds. It was clear he was aging pretty well. It was clear he was fit and still moving. Needless to say, I was inspired and began to walk faster. I thought to myself, I want to be able to move like that in my late 60's and 70's.
In Raquel Welch's book, Beyond the Cleavage, she says you must get in the game of aging. You must keep moving and exercising because if you don't you will be using a cane, a wheel chair, or a walker. And let's face it...I don't care if Raquel has had surgery or not...she looks fantastic for 70. She says, for her, yoga is the key but the bottom line is you have to find something you love and keep doing it. Don't stop. Workout every day to keep the bones moving.
As we age ladies...your body does as well...you have to take care of it every day...like you would your house, or your car, or your children. So don't slack off ladies...make time every day to do something...walk, jog, weights, dancing...whatever it takes. Keep moving so you don't end up using a wheelchair to move for you.
Till Next Time Ladies
My daughters learned how to ride horses this year at a farm near our home. One day I was picking the kids up when a woman jogged up sweating bullets. Her daughter came out and said...."Mom, you jogged all the way here?" The woman said "Of course, lets go"...and the two of them walked out of the barn, up the hill, around the corner, and I presume home.
I stood there in shock. It never ever has crossed my mind to jog to any place much less to pick my kids up from a riding lesson. I don't jog to the store, or the school, or to my girlfriends. It just never crossed my mind. The woman jogger was fit as a fiddle...and she was my age (at least). She looked so healthy and radiant....even through the sweat. So, I decided to start to jog. I went to the local track and started to walk. I figured I would work up to jogging. Actually, back in the day, I used to be an exercise fanatic but in the last few years... life... has taken over my love of exercise....anyway, I felt I was ready to get back on track. ( no pun intended). As I was walking, a 65 + year old man jogged by me...this man's legs were perfection. I know it sounds crazy but his legs were tight like a 25 year olds. It was clear he was aging pretty well. It was clear he was fit and still moving. Needless to say, I was inspired and began to walk faster. I thought to myself, I want to be able to move like that in my late 60's and 70's.
In Raquel Welch's book, Beyond the Cleavage, she says you must get in the game of aging. You must keep moving and exercising because if you don't you will be using a cane, a wheel chair, or a walker. And let's face it...I don't care if Raquel has had surgery or not...she looks fantastic for 70. She says, for her, yoga is the key but the bottom line is you have to find something you love and keep doing it. Don't stop. Workout every day to keep the bones moving.
As we age ladies...your body does as well...you have to take care of it every day...like you would your house, or your car, or your children. So don't slack off ladies...make time every day to do something...walk, jog, weights, dancing...whatever it takes. Keep moving so you don't end up using a wheelchair to move for you.
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Don't Let the Piano Lessons Go To Waste
Your Momma never told you...don't waste piano lessons.
When I was young I took piano lessons for about 10 years. I actually was pretty good at reading music but not so good at playing by ear. I was always the last to perform in recitals because I was the best student. When I went to college I stopped playing piano. I just lost interest I guess and I had pretty much learned all I could learn. I could pick up any sheet of music, read it, and eventually play it with practice of course. I saw no need to continue. Throughout the years, I dabbled here and there when I came across the piano but never really took it up again.
Fast forward to today. I went to visit my uncle in North Carolina recently. My uncle who is 75 years old told me of how when he was young, my grandparents could not afford to give him lessons....so he sat at the piano and taught himself. My uncle eventually earned his doctorate in music and was the head of a music department and band director at a college in North Carolina for over 30 years. While at his house we sat together and played his electric piano and marimba. It had been awhile since I sat down but it all started to come back again....and I started thinking maybe I should get the girls piano lessons.
When I came home I looked into piano teachers for the girls but then I thought ..why pay $25.00 a lesson when I could teach them for free. I went to the music store and bought a beginner's book and started giving lessons to the girls once a week. I thought I would not have time but I am spending the time and energy it would have taken to drive them to and from piano lessons.
Ladies...if you have a skill or talent, take the time to teach your kids. I started to think about all of the things I participated in over the years...cheerleading, track, piano, violin, karate, yoga, basketball, volleyball, kickball, softball, etc.....and I have so many things I can teach my kids....and I can lose a couple of pounds in the process. Next up...tennis!
Till next time ladies.
When I was young I took piano lessons for about 10 years. I actually was pretty good at reading music but not so good at playing by ear. I was always the last to perform in recitals because I was the best student. When I went to college I stopped playing piano. I just lost interest I guess and I had pretty much learned all I could learn. I could pick up any sheet of music, read it, and eventually play it with practice of course. I saw no need to continue. Throughout the years, I dabbled here and there when I came across the piano but never really took it up again.
Fast forward to today. I went to visit my uncle in North Carolina recently. My uncle who is 75 years old told me of how when he was young, my grandparents could not afford to give him lessons....so he sat at the piano and taught himself. My uncle eventually earned his doctorate in music and was the head of a music department and band director at a college in North Carolina for over 30 years. While at his house we sat together and played his electric piano and marimba. It had been awhile since I sat down but it all started to come back again....and I started thinking maybe I should get the girls piano lessons.
When I came home I looked into piano teachers for the girls but then I thought ..why pay $25.00 a lesson when I could teach them for free. I went to the music store and bought a beginner's book and started giving lessons to the girls once a week. I thought I would not have time but I am spending the time and energy it would have taken to drive them to and from piano lessons.
Ladies...if you have a skill or talent, take the time to teach your kids. I started to think about all of the things I participated in over the years...cheerleading, track, piano, violin, karate, yoga, basketball, volleyball, kickball, softball, etc.....and I have so many things I can teach my kids....and I can lose a couple of pounds in the process. Next up...tennis!
Till next time ladies.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Aunt Flo can Go
Your Momma never told you that Aunt Flo keep visiting for most of your life and she will get on your nerves.
This weekend I had yet another visit from Aunt Flo and she got on my last nerves. I actually got sick. I had cramps, migraines and overall felt gloomy....and then I started thinking. Do you know Aunt Flo has been coming to visit for 30 years? Ladies, this is ridiculous. I am so tired of calculating, preparing, and dealing with Aunt Flo...and let's be real...Aunt Flo ain't cheap. I have purchased boxes and boxes of equipment and bottles and bottles of pills to deal with Aunt Flo. I don't understand why the equipment and pills are not covered by health insurance...I mean it is an overall health condition. My goodness I am bleeding for seven days out of every month and I can't get one tampon covered.
Also, I really think women should be given seven days of sick time each month to deal with Aunt Flo. If men had to deal with Aunt Flo....ladies...companies would shut down, vacations days would be trippled, work at home would be the only option, bonuses would be given....etc. We don't get anything and everyone expects us to just keep going and act like everything is ok...well it isn't ok. I am tired and sick from Aunt Flo constantly dropping by every month....sometime early without warning. I have to structure my entire day differently when Aunt Flo shows up but does anyone care. NO!
Ladies, we have gotten so used to dealing with Aunt Flo...we just act like nothing is going on. We still get up to cook and clean. We still take care of the kids. We still go to work...all while we are dealing with Aunt Flo. It just is not fair. Don't we deserve a break when we are dealing with Aunt Flo. Work is one thing but keeping house and running around after children...hey my man can do that.
So ladies....I made a decision. I am no longer pretending that I am fine when Aunt Flo is in town. From now on...when Aunt Flo comes...I make an announcement to my family and my man that she has arrived....and while she is in town...everyone must do their share to make me feel comfortable. I take some days off from housework and lay down. My goodness...enough is enough. I also ask my man for some pampering...which I get. I mean...he certainly does not want to deal with Aunt Flo either. Whatever he can do to make things go smooth while she is here...he does. Ice cream, popsicles, gifts, grocery shopping, vacuuming, grilling, playing with the kids, breakfast in bed...whatever it takes...he just goes with it. And if you don't have a man ladies...cause sometimes they can be more trouble than they are worth....pamper yourself. Hire help...or ask your kids to take care of you...they love to do that....and lay down and watch a good movie.
Ladies...Aunt Flo can go...but until she does....don't stress yourself out and run around acting like nothing is going on. Get your rest, eat right, and relax.
Till Next Time Lades
This weekend I had yet another visit from Aunt Flo and she got on my last nerves. I actually got sick. I had cramps, migraines and overall felt gloomy....and then I started thinking. Do you know Aunt Flo has been coming to visit for 30 years? Ladies, this is ridiculous. I am so tired of calculating, preparing, and dealing with Aunt Flo...and let's be real...Aunt Flo ain't cheap. I have purchased boxes and boxes of equipment and bottles and bottles of pills to deal with Aunt Flo. I don't understand why the equipment and pills are not covered by health insurance...I mean it is an overall health condition. My goodness I am bleeding for seven days out of every month and I can't get one tampon covered.
Also, I really think women should be given seven days of sick time each month to deal with Aunt Flo. If men had to deal with Aunt Flo....ladies...companies would shut down, vacations days would be trippled, work at home would be the only option, bonuses would be given....etc. We don't get anything and everyone expects us to just keep going and act like everything is ok...well it isn't ok. I am tired and sick from Aunt Flo constantly dropping by every month....sometime early without warning. I have to structure my entire day differently when Aunt Flo shows up but does anyone care. NO!
Ladies, we have gotten so used to dealing with Aunt Flo...we just act like nothing is going on. We still get up to cook and clean. We still take care of the kids. We still go to work...all while we are dealing with Aunt Flo. It just is not fair. Don't we deserve a break when we are dealing with Aunt Flo. Work is one thing but keeping house and running around after children...hey my man can do that.
So ladies....I made a decision. I am no longer pretending that I am fine when Aunt Flo is in town. From now on...when Aunt Flo comes...I make an announcement to my family and my man that she has arrived....and while she is in town...everyone must do their share to make me feel comfortable. I take some days off from housework and lay down. My goodness...enough is enough. I also ask my man for some pampering...which I get. I mean...he certainly does not want to deal with Aunt Flo either. Whatever he can do to make things go smooth while she is here...he does. Ice cream, popsicles, gifts, grocery shopping, vacuuming, grilling, playing with the kids, breakfast in bed...whatever it takes...he just goes with it. And if you don't have a man ladies...cause sometimes they can be more trouble than they are worth....pamper yourself. Hire help...or ask your kids to take care of you...they love to do that....and lay down and watch a good movie.
Ladies...Aunt Flo can go...but until she does....don't stress yourself out and run around acting like nothing is going on. Get your rest, eat right, and relax.
Till Next Time Lades
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Get a Custom Closet
Your Momma never told you that you must have a custom closet.
Ladies, I recently decided to splurge on a custom closet. At the time I bought the closet, I considered it a treat not a necessity but ladies...I was wrong. A custom closet is a must have to organize you life.
I do not have a large closet but it holds everything because every inch of space is now being used to house my clothing and accessories in a neat organized fashion. Ladies...you would not believe this but my life has changed. Ladies, I did not realize how much stress my closet had caused me in the past. I would even ask my children to find my blue shoes...and the poor little things would get on their knees and dig and dig and dig.
Now that I have purchased a custom closet...every day I open the doors to my closet I breathe a sigh of relief. No more digging through the bottom of the closet looking for shoes and then giving up and wearing a different pair. No more scavenging for the perfect bag or hat....I am able to see everything I own without hunting for hours and hours. All of my clothes are organized by colors and hanging on wooden hangers. I am able to see what I have and what I need. Now that I know what I have...I can make the most of it and avoid buying duplicates.
Ladies...take my word for it. Whether you have a big walk in closet or a small closet...get it customized specifically for you. Your closet is where you go to start your day. Imagine opening your closet doors and seeing a perfectly organized space...what a great start to each day.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies, I recently decided to splurge on a custom closet. At the time I bought the closet, I considered it a treat not a necessity but ladies...I was wrong. A custom closet is a must have to organize you life.
I do not have a large closet but it holds everything because every inch of space is now being used to house my clothing and accessories in a neat organized fashion. Ladies...you would not believe this but my life has changed. Ladies, I did not realize how much stress my closet had caused me in the past. I would even ask my children to find my blue shoes...and the poor little things would get on their knees and dig and dig and dig.
Now that I have purchased a custom closet...every day I open the doors to my closet I breathe a sigh of relief. No more digging through the bottom of the closet looking for shoes and then giving up and wearing a different pair. No more scavenging for the perfect bag or hat....I am able to see everything I own without hunting for hours and hours. All of my clothes are organized by colors and hanging on wooden hangers. I am able to see what I have and what I need. Now that I know what I have...I can make the most of it and avoid buying duplicates.
Ladies...take my word for it. Whether you have a big walk in closet or a small closet...get it customized specifically for you. Your closet is where you go to start your day. Imagine opening your closet doors and seeing a perfectly organized space...what a great start to each day.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Too Many Sparks Can Cause a Fire
Your Momma never told you that some sparks cause fires.
A friend of mine recently met a man on a DC cruise of Georgetown. Instantly, she felt "magical sparks" when meeting this man. They spent the entire evening cruise engaged in conversations and "hysterical laughter". After the cruise was over, the walked the streets of Georgetown...stopping in a couple of bars....drinking a few martinis. They ended the evening by exchanging numbers.
Within the next two weeks, the man pursued her relentlessly and she became completely involved quickly. He called her non stop...he sent her gifts at home....he showed up unexpectantly at her job to take her to lunch. At first the attention was welcomed....she had never had a man so "smitten"...but then it began to turn creepy. She went out with me and few other girlfriends on a Friday night...and he showed up at the bar we were at and joined us. He insisted on following her home because it was dark. Needless, to say, the hairs on our heads....weave and all, stood up.
Quickly, we determined this was a stalker. She called if off with the guy but he kept calling and calling and calling.... sometimes until 3 am. She changed her cell phone number and home number but he came by her job pleading for another chance. He would sit outside her house and just watch.
She became frightened and scared to come and go from her home. I insisted she call the police the next time she spotted him outside her home...and she did. When they arrived...he was arrested immediately which was kind of unusual since she did not have a protective order. Come to find out the man had owed back child support, had a suspended license and a domestic violence history.
Ladies...be careful out there...sometimes...to many sparks...can cause a fire.
A friend of mine recently met a man on a DC cruise of Georgetown. Instantly, she felt "magical sparks" when meeting this man. They spent the entire evening cruise engaged in conversations and "hysterical laughter". After the cruise was over, the walked the streets of Georgetown...stopping in a couple of bars....drinking a few martinis. They ended the evening by exchanging numbers.
Within the next two weeks, the man pursued her relentlessly and she became completely involved quickly. He called her non stop...he sent her gifts at home....he showed up unexpectantly at her job to take her to lunch. At first the attention was welcomed....she had never had a man so "smitten"...but then it began to turn creepy. She went out with me and few other girlfriends on a Friday night...and he showed up at the bar we were at and joined us. He insisted on following her home because it was dark. Needless, to say, the hairs on our heads....weave and all, stood up.
Quickly, we determined this was a stalker. She called if off with the guy but he kept calling and calling and calling.... sometimes until 3 am. She changed her cell phone number and home number but he came by her job pleading for another chance. He would sit outside her house and just watch.
She became frightened and scared to come and go from her home. I insisted she call the police the next time she spotted him outside her home...and she did. When they arrived...he was arrested immediately which was kind of unusual since she did not have a protective order. Come to find out the man had owed back child support, had a suspended license and a domestic violence history.
Ladies...be careful out there...sometimes...to many sparks...can cause a fire.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Master Your Fears
Your Momma never told you that your fears are very powerful.
Someone once told me that I have an inviting face....and because of my inviting face...strangers sometimes tell me the story of their lives...without me even asking.
I was at a doctor's office last week when a woman complimented me on my shirt. I told her it was a gift from the man I was seeing...and the sparked a fifteen minute discussion on her man. She told me her man had not gotten her anything in years....he drank...was downright s. After hearing her speak about this man, I asked her if she even liked her man...and she said no...but she did not want to be alone. Where would she live? What would she do? How would she pay for things? Could she be by herself and survive? Would anyone love her?
Ladies..fear can really lead you to make the worse choices....and she had suffered a lot of consequences. She was seeing the doctor for heart palpitations and stress. She looked much older than she really was. She appeared desperate and confused. She was existing but not living. I felt very sad for this woman and encouraged her politely to take better care of herself. But the image of her desperation...has stuck with me. The thing that bothered me the most was that the fear had convinced her that she was stuck...that his was it...that her life was what it was...this man was all she had...and could get.
Ladies...I personally have the same fear of being alone. I have experienced my mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and best friend die. I have less than 10 family member left and that includes me and my children. I can't say I have overcome it...but I do manage it. My fear of being alone will never lead me to be in an abusive relationship.
I know people who fear getting too close to another person because they don't want to get hurt. I know people who fear standing up for themselves because they fear the other person's reaction. I know people who fear being independent or dependent.
Ladies...I wanted to challenged you to find out what your fears are and do all you can to overcome or manage them because fears can lead you to make all types of bad choices.
Till Next Time Ladies
Someone once told me that I have an inviting face....and because of my inviting face...strangers sometimes tell me the story of their lives...without me even asking.
I was at a doctor's office last week when a woman complimented me on my shirt. I told her it was a gift from the man I was seeing...and the sparked a fifteen minute discussion on her man. She told me her man had not gotten her anything in years....he drank...was downright s. After hearing her speak about this man, I asked her if she even liked her man...and she said no...but she did not want to be alone. Where would she live? What would she do? How would she pay for things? Could she be by herself and survive? Would anyone love her?
Ladies..fear can really lead you to make the worse choices....and she had suffered a lot of consequences. She was seeing the doctor for heart palpitations and stress. She looked much older than she really was. She appeared desperate and confused. She was existing but not living. I felt very sad for this woman and encouraged her politely to take better care of herself. But the image of her desperation...has stuck with me. The thing that bothered me the most was that the fear had convinced her that she was stuck...that his was it...that her life was what it was...this man was all she had...and could get.
Ladies...I personally have the same fear of being alone. I have experienced my mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and best friend die. I have less than 10 family member left and that includes me and my children. I can't say I have overcome it...but I do manage it. My fear of being alone will never lead me to be in an abusive relationship.
I know people who fear getting too close to another person because they don't want to get hurt. I know people who fear standing up for themselves because they fear the other person's reaction. I know people who fear being independent or dependent.
Ladies...I wanted to challenged you to find out what your fears are and do all you can to overcome or manage them because fears can lead you to make all types of bad choices.
Till Next Time Ladies
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Celebrate the Days
Your Momma never told you to celebrate the days when you have perfect balance.
Ladies, there is nothing like waking up and having what I call a perfect balance day. It is a day when the following things exist in your life.
A Day of Balance
You are mentally and physically healthy.
You are safe and secure in a home.
You have no financial problems.
Your family is physically and mentally healthy.
No one close to you has committed a crime or is in jail.
You are not grieving anything or anyone.
You have someone to love and who loves you.
When these things exist all in one day....celebrate ladies....because they don't come around too often. Life can throw you so many twist and turns and heartache that you have learn to recognize and celebrate when things are in balance. Sometimes you will have a few of these days clumped together in what I call a "Blessed Season". Whenever I have one of these days or a blessed season, I try to remember to celebrate and not take them for granted. Sometimes I play music and dance or decorate the house with balloons or have an ice cream party with the kids. It does not have to be big...but ladies...don't take these days for granted....learn to celebrate when you are experiencing a "day of balance".
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies, there is nothing like waking up and having what I call a perfect balance day. It is a day when the following things exist in your life.
A Day of Balance
You are mentally and physically healthy.
You are safe and secure in a home.
You have no financial problems.
Your family is physically and mentally healthy.
No one close to you has committed a crime or is in jail.
You are not grieving anything or anyone.
You have someone to love and who loves you.
When these things exist all in one day....celebrate ladies....because they don't come around too often. Life can throw you so many twist and turns and heartache that you have learn to recognize and celebrate when things are in balance. Sometimes you will have a few of these days clumped together in what I call a "Blessed Season". Whenever I have one of these days or a blessed season, I try to remember to celebrate and not take them for granted. Sometimes I play music and dance or decorate the house with balloons or have an ice cream party with the kids. It does not have to be big...but ladies...don't take these days for granted....learn to celebrate when you are experiencing a "day of balance".
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Genie Complex
Your Momma never told you...beware of the Genie Complex.
There used to be an old TV show called I dream a Jeannie. Jeannie was a beautiful genie who lived in a little bottle. She would blink her eyes and pop out of the bottle when her Master named Tony called for her. When she came out...she would grant him his every wish. I used to love this show but looking back on it....I don't recall Jeannie every wanting anything but to make Tony happy and make his dreams come true. I mean..she lived in a bottle for goodness sake...she did not work or have children...she did not have bills or go to school. All she did all day was chase Tony around trying to make him happy.
Ladies, I think sometimes, men think when they go to the alter, they are acquiring a genie. A woman that will look beautiful every day...with the perfect figure...and perfect makeup...who pops around the house making everything perfect. A woman who will grant his every wish...all the days of her life....and ladies...some of us women...believe this is our role also. Ladies, we have all seen an independent woman acquire what I call the Jeannie complex when they get married...even when they are dating. Suddenly, the woman's dreams and desires magical transform into whatever her man wants.
A friend of mine wanted to stay home with her newborn for six months. If her husband and her sacraficed just a little, they could easily survive without her income...unfortunately her husband insisted on her going back to work. He felt women should work....so her thoughts and desires were just ignored...and she of course complied. Another friend of mine wanted to get her hairbraided in a certain style but her husband did not like braided hair. He insisted she keep her hair straight because that is how he liked it...so of course she did. Another friend of mine had a man who wanted his own business...he simply did not want to work an office job...so she took out all of her savings to start his business. Eventually, she spent all her days and nights trying to keep the business afloat...while he...simply watched her. She wanted to support and honor her husband's dreams....I mean...she was his wife or should I say genie. I had a man tell me he wanted a dog...but I was allergic to dogs...so what did I do...buy him a german shepard and sneeze uncontrollably.
Ladies...I am not saying don't please your man...but make sure you don't loose your dreams, desires, health, and mind doing so. Let's face...genies don't exists....partnerships and marriages do.
There used to be an old TV show called I dream a Jeannie. Jeannie was a beautiful genie who lived in a little bottle. She would blink her eyes and pop out of the bottle when her Master named Tony called for her. When she came out...she would grant him his every wish. I used to love this show but looking back on it....I don't recall Jeannie every wanting anything but to make Tony happy and make his dreams come true. I mean..she lived in a bottle for goodness sake...she did not work or have children...she did not have bills or go to school. All she did all day was chase Tony around trying to make him happy.
Ladies, I think sometimes, men think when they go to the alter, they are acquiring a genie. A woman that will look beautiful every day...with the perfect figure...and perfect makeup...who pops around the house making everything perfect. A woman who will grant his every wish...all the days of her life....and ladies...some of us women...believe this is our role also. Ladies, we have all seen an independent woman acquire what I call the Jeannie complex when they get married...even when they are dating. Suddenly, the woman's dreams and desires magical transform into whatever her man wants.
A friend of mine wanted to stay home with her newborn for six months. If her husband and her sacraficed just a little, they could easily survive without her income...unfortunately her husband insisted on her going back to work. He felt women should work....so her thoughts and desires were just ignored...and she of course complied. Another friend of mine wanted to get her hairbraided in a certain style but her husband did not like braided hair. He insisted she keep her hair straight because that is how he liked it...so of course she did. Another friend of mine had a man who wanted his own business...he simply did not want to work an office job...so she took out all of her savings to start his business. Eventually, she spent all her days and nights trying to keep the business afloat...while he...simply watched her. She wanted to support and honor her husband's dreams....I mean...she was his wife or should I say genie. I had a man tell me he wanted a dog...but I was allergic to dogs...so what did I do...buy him a german shepard and sneeze uncontrollably.
Ladies...I am not saying don't please your man...but make sure you don't loose your dreams, desires, health, and mind doing so. Let's face...genies don't exists....partnerships and marriages do.
Monday, August 16, 2010
It's Mine
Your Momma never told you...don't marry someone who does not know how to share.
Ladies..I was surprised to find out that everyone does not have the ability to share. I thought this skill was taught very early on...at 2 - 5 years of age...but sadly...I was wrong. There are many men out there that simply can not and will not share. Now, like me, you may not have placed a lot of emphasis on finding out if someone can share. You may have just assumed, like me, everyone has the ability...but ladies..you have to test your man to see if he can share. If he fails the tests, run...run....because if he did not learn it at age 3...he won't learn it at age 30. Here are a few test to try.
1. If you are out to dinner, ask your man if you can have a taste of his food. (For example, a piece of his dessert) If he says, hey why don't I just order you one....ring, ring, ring...pick up the clue phone...He does not share.
2. Ask your man to borrow his umbrella for a future rain event. Tell him it is supposed to rain later that day or the following day. If he refuses or tells you to buy one on the way home...watch out...he can not share.
3. Tell your man your car is disabled and you need to borrow his car for a few hours. If he refuses, insists your rent a car, makes up excuses for you not to drive it, or rearranges his schedule so he can drive you around...watch out....he may not be able to share. Now, ladies I realize a car is a big one...but hey, this is your man. If he won't share his ride...you have a problem.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies..I was surprised to find out that everyone does not have the ability to share. I thought this skill was taught very early on...at 2 - 5 years of age...but sadly...I was wrong. There are many men out there that simply can not and will not share. Now, like me, you may not have placed a lot of emphasis on finding out if someone can share. You may have just assumed, like me, everyone has the ability...but ladies..you have to test your man to see if he can share. If he fails the tests, run...run....because if he did not learn it at age 3...he won't learn it at age 30. Here are a few test to try.
1. If you are out to dinner, ask your man if you can have a taste of his food. (For example, a piece of his dessert) If he says, hey why don't I just order you one....ring, ring, ring...pick up the clue phone...He does not share.
2. Ask your man to borrow his umbrella for a future rain event. Tell him it is supposed to rain later that day or the following day. If he refuses or tells you to buy one on the way home...watch out...he can not share.
3. Tell your man your car is disabled and you need to borrow his car for a few hours. If he refuses, insists your rent a car, makes up excuses for you not to drive it, or rearranges his schedule so he can drive you around...watch out....he may not be able to share. Now, ladies I realize a car is a big one...but hey, this is your man. If he won't share his ride...you have a problem.
Till Next Time Ladies
Friday, August 13, 2010
Our House Is Not on Fire
Your Momma never told you....know when your house is on fire and when it is not.
In the past two weeks, I have been dealing with a number of family issues. These issues deal with a nutty ex and a nutty ex – in law. Without getting into the whole story, let’s just say neither is behaving at their best. My family and I have been upset by this behavior and complaining about our problems to one another. We really began to wallow in our problems and let them over take us. We kept saying could it get any worse?….and wouldn’t you know….God answered….oh yes it can be worse. I was shown in two instances how my problems could be a whole lot worse.
First, at a prayer meeting I attended recently, many people stood up to ask for prayer. Some were sick, some were dealing with a death in the family, one person’s brother had been murdered, another woman had lost her home and her job and had been diagnosed with a serious illness…it was really overwhelming. When you hear people such despair…it really put my problems…or so called problems in perspective. After hearing everyone speak, I was embarrassed to stand up and talk about my problem As a matter of fact, I was no longer upset about my problem but thankful for my problem. Now ladies….it was a problem…don’t get me wrong…but compared to the life fires that I had just heard about...it was something I could handle.
Second, the other day we awoke to a terrible thunderstorm. Lightning and thunder were crashing all around our house….the kids were scared but I assured them we were in our house and we were safe. Just then lightning hit the house across the street. In minutes, the house was engulfed in flames and burned straight to the ground. (It was vacant and for sale). The kids became panicked and swore our house was going to burn down too….and to be honest…I went into a panic myself. I started dialing 911 and running around in circles. It really was not my best "calm" Mommy moment. My daughter fell to her knees and began praying to the Lord to save us….even though our house was not on fire. She thought lightning was going to strike again…and that we were next. I went to her and told her to thank the Lord...because we were safe. I calmed every down including myself… as I realized….our house was NOT on fire…in other words…we were fine. I assured my children that we had a blanket of protection around us and we were safe.
As I drove to work later that day...I started to think what if our house had burned down....what would have been lost, where would we have gone, what would we have done. Ladies, I learned real quick to be thankful for my problems....because it could be a lot worse. I was shown that we really had no problems….in an instant we could have lost our home, our belongings, and most important each other….in an instant we could loose our health or be a victim of crime but as of today….we were fine. After those experiences, I thanked God for the problems I had….because in comparison to how it could be….we were doing just fine....and our house is NOT on fire.
Till Next Time Ladies.
In the past two weeks, I have been dealing with a number of family issues. These issues deal with a nutty ex and a nutty ex – in law. Without getting into the whole story, let’s just say neither is behaving at their best. My family and I have been upset by this behavior and complaining about our problems to one another. We really began to wallow in our problems and let them over take us. We kept saying could it get any worse?….and wouldn’t you know….God answered….oh yes it can be worse. I was shown in two instances how my problems could be a whole lot worse.
First, at a prayer meeting I attended recently, many people stood up to ask for prayer. Some were sick, some were dealing with a death in the family, one person’s brother had been murdered, another woman had lost her home and her job and had been diagnosed with a serious illness…it was really overwhelming. When you hear people such despair…it really put my problems…or so called problems in perspective. After hearing everyone speak, I was embarrassed to stand up and talk about my problem As a matter of fact, I was no longer upset about my problem but thankful for my problem. Now ladies….it was a problem…don’t get me wrong…but compared to the life fires that I had just heard about...it was something I could handle.
Second, the other day we awoke to a terrible thunderstorm. Lightning and thunder were crashing all around our house….the kids were scared but I assured them we were in our house and we were safe. Just then lightning hit the house across the street. In minutes, the house was engulfed in flames and burned straight to the ground. (It was vacant and for sale). The kids became panicked and swore our house was going to burn down too….and to be honest…I went into a panic myself. I started dialing 911 and running around in circles. It really was not my best "calm" Mommy moment. My daughter fell to her knees and began praying to the Lord to save us….even though our house was not on fire. She thought lightning was going to strike again…and that we were next. I went to her and told her to thank the Lord...because we were safe. I calmed every down including myself… as I realized….our house was NOT on fire…in other words…we were fine. I assured my children that we had a blanket of protection around us and we were safe.
As I drove to work later that day...I started to think what if our house had burned down....what would have been lost, where would we have gone, what would we have done. Ladies, I learned real quick to be thankful for my problems....because it could be a lot worse. I was shown that we really had no problems….in an instant we could have lost our home, our belongings, and most important each other….in an instant we could loose our health or be a victim of crime but as of today….we were fine. After those experiences, I thanked God for the problems I had….because in comparison to how it could be….we were doing just fine....and our house is NOT on fire.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Don't go broke trying to fix a man
Your Momma never told you...don't go broke trying to fix a man.
A friend of mine married what appeared to be a great guy. He owned his own business and made a fantastic living. The problem was he could not manage his money. He spent and spent and spent. She would go to write checks they would bounce...or go to get cash... only for the ATM to read...no funds available. Her husband would spend money like water so she never knew what was available on a day to day basis.
Eventually, they got into financial trouble because her husband had maxed out the credit cards at $15000 - $20000 a pop. Even though they were both working, they were not making enough to cover his wild spending. My friend spent hours every night going over the books...coming up with ways to make more money...she sold clothes...she got a second job...she got her real estate license and sold houses...she even gathered up change to go to Coinstar...all to get cash. She signed them up for seminars...she spent money on a financial planner....she depleted her 401 K in attempts to get him back on track. Ladies...it worked for a short while...but within six months....the credit cards were maxed out again...and again and again. Shall I say more. It got to the point she wanted to get out of the relationship...but they had so much debt together and all her savings was gone...she could not afford to leave. She had married...a money pit.
My point ladies...when you are with a financially irresponsible person...watch out. The more money you spend trying to fix a man...the more problems the man will have. The more money you pour into him...the more money he will require. It will never end. When you recognize you are with a financially irresponsible person...don't use your money to fix a broke man....because in the end...you will be the broke woman...and then who is going to help you.
Till Next Time Ladies
A friend of mine married what appeared to be a great guy. He owned his own business and made a fantastic living. The problem was he could not manage his money. He spent and spent and spent. She would go to write checks they would bounce...or go to get cash... only for the ATM to read...no funds available. Her husband would spend money like water so she never knew what was available on a day to day basis.
Eventually, they got into financial trouble because her husband had maxed out the credit cards at $15000 - $20000 a pop. Even though they were both working, they were not making enough to cover his wild spending. My friend spent hours every night going over the books...coming up with ways to make more money...she sold clothes...she got a second job...she got her real estate license and sold houses...she even gathered up change to go to Coinstar...all to get cash. She signed them up for seminars...she spent money on a financial planner....she depleted her 401 K in attempts to get him back on track. Ladies...it worked for a short while...but within six months....the credit cards were maxed out again...and again and again. Shall I say more. It got to the point she wanted to get out of the relationship...but they had so much debt together and all her savings was gone...she could not afford to leave. She had married...a money pit.
My point ladies...when you are with a financially irresponsible person...watch out. The more money you spend trying to fix a man...the more problems the man will have. The more money you pour into him...the more money he will require. It will never end. When you recognize you are with a financially irresponsible person...don't use your money to fix a broke man....because in the end...you will be the broke woman...and then who is going to help you.
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The Lesson of Bubbles The Goldfish
Your Momma never told you....
Ladies...I had a cookout this weekend with friends and family. Janie, a friend of my daughter's was one of the guest. Janie, is a very strong willed sneaky child. She can be very sweet but she has to be watched at all times. During the cookout, I noticed my daughter and Janie were nowhere in sight. I went to my daughter's room and there they were. Janie, had decided she wanted to play with Bubbles, my daughter's goldfish. Janie, had Bubble's in her hands and was playing with him like he was a marble.
"Put that fish back in the bowl!" I squealed. Janie complied. I sent Janie to go wash her hands and to go back downstairs with the other guest. My daughter remained behind. I sat my daughter down and asked her why on earth she would allow Janie to play with her fish...out of the bowl. I explained Bubbles could have been injured or could have lost a fin. Looking at Bubbles...it was clear Bubbles was traumatized as he shook in one place in the bowl.
My daughter said she told Janie "NO" but Janie insisted. And ladies...this is where it starts. This is when some young girls learn NO does not necessarily mean NO to some people. I explained to my daughter that when she says NO that it should be respected...and if someone does not respect your NO...they are not a friend. Moreover, I insisted she learn to stand up for herself because there will be plenty of times she will run into people who will test her "NO"...and in the case of Bubbles...she did not step up and protect him or her property.
Ladies...I was so thankful I was there to teach this lesson to my daughter early...and I fully intend on helping her grow a backbone now...and learn to say NO and mean it. It is best she learn the power of NO now and not when a boy has her in the back of car...and baby makes three.
Ladies....look for opportunities to give life lessons to your children early before...real consequences can occur.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Ladies...I had a cookout this weekend with friends and family. Janie, a friend of my daughter's was one of the guest. Janie, is a very strong willed sneaky child. She can be very sweet but she has to be watched at all times. During the cookout, I noticed my daughter and Janie were nowhere in sight. I went to my daughter's room and there they were. Janie, had decided she wanted to play with Bubbles, my daughter's goldfish. Janie, had Bubble's in her hands and was playing with him like he was a marble.
"Put that fish back in the bowl!" I squealed. Janie complied. I sent Janie to go wash her hands and to go back downstairs with the other guest. My daughter remained behind. I sat my daughter down and asked her why on earth she would allow Janie to play with her fish...out of the bowl. I explained Bubbles could have been injured or could have lost a fin. Looking at Bubbles...it was clear Bubbles was traumatized as he shook in one place in the bowl.
My daughter said she told Janie "NO" but Janie insisted. And ladies...this is where it starts. This is when some young girls learn NO does not necessarily mean NO to some people. I explained to my daughter that when she says NO that it should be respected...and if someone does not respect your NO...they are not a friend. Moreover, I insisted she learn to stand up for herself because there will be plenty of times she will run into people who will test her "NO"...and in the case of Bubbles...she did not step up and protect him or her property.
Ladies...I was so thankful I was there to teach this lesson to my daughter early...and I fully intend on helping her grow a backbone now...and learn to say NO and mean it. It is best she learn the power of NO now and not when a boy has her in the back of car...and baby makes three.
Ladies....look for opportunities to give life lessons to your children early before...real consequences can occur.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Friday, August 6, 2010
Hair Today Gone Tomorrow
Your Momma did not tell you to treat your hair like an accessory.
I am known for changing my hairstyle regularly. In fact, my companion says he feels like he is dating several women because of my different looks. At work, my co-workers are amazed at the different styles I sport. Short one day...long the next...they never know what I am going to look like each day. I treat my hair likc an accessory...and I dress it up or dress it down...depending on my mood.
One day my co-worker who was battling cancer at the time approached me. She was wearing a terrible old wig because she was embarrassed about her hair loss. She told me she had cut her hair short but was not sure if she should take off her wig. She was worried what people would think of her hair. She came to me because she saw me with so many differnt styles...hair pieces, wigs, extensions...whatever. She wanted my opinion as well as what she called..."my courage".
I told her..."Joan...you are in the midst of a health crisis...who cares about your hair. Take off the wig and wear your hair like you want too."
I told her if she wanted to wear a wig one day and take it off the next...it was up to her. I told her to think of her hair as an accessory...you can change it whenever you want. I told her now was the time to have the hair she always wanted...long black, curly red, medium blond...whatever. I encouraged her to do what she felt best doing...and not to worry about other people. I certainly don't!
The next week, Joan, took off her wig and revealed a cute pixie blond style. Honestly, Joan looked 15 years younger. Everyone told Joan how great she looked and you could see she was feeling very good about herself. She told me she had purchased another updated wig for special occasions.
My point ladies...we live in a time where you can where your hair however you want. If you want long hair, short hair, brown hair, red hair, curly hair, straight hair...you can have it. Ladies...if you don't like your hair...change it....and if you have had the same style for over two years...it's time for a new look. Think of your hair as an accessory and have fun with it.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I am known for changing my hairstyle regularly. In fact, my companion says he feels like he is dating several women because of my different looks. At work, my co-workers are amazed at the different styles I sport. Short one day...long the next...they never know what I am going to look like each day. I treat my hair likc an accessory...and I dress it up or dress it down...depending on my mood.
One day my co-worker who was battling cancer at the time approached me. She was wearing a terrible old wig because she was embarrassed about her hair loss. She told me she had cut her hair short but was not sure if she should take off her wig. She was worried what people would think of her hair. She came to me because she saw me with so many differnt styles...hair pieces, wigs, extensions...whatever. She wanted my opinion as well as what she called..."my courage".
I told her..."Joan...you are in the midst of a health crisis...who cares about your hair. Take off the wig and wear your hair like you want too."
I told her if she wanted to wear a wig one day and take it off the next...it was up to her. I told her to think of her hair as an accessory...you can change it whenever you want. I told her now was the time to have the hair she always wanted...long black, curly red, medium blond...whatever. I encouraged her to do what she felt best doing...and not to worry about other people. I certainly don't!
The next week, Joan, took off her wig and revealed a cute pixie blond style. Honestly, Joan looked 15 years younger. Everyone told Joan how great she looked and you could see she was feeling very good about herself. She told me she had purchased another updated wig for special occasions.
My point ladies...we live in a time where you can where your hair however you want. If you want long hair, short hair, brown hair, red hair, curly hair, straight hair...you can have it. Ladies...if you don't like your hair...change it....and if you have had the same style for over two years...it's time for a new look. Think of your hair as an accessory and have fun with it.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Don't Make Decisions Out of Fear
Your Momma never told the worse decisions you will ever make are the ones you make out of fear.
I went to a prayer meeting at my church last Tuesday. I normally only go to Sunday service but I had a number of problems that I needed to deal with. During the service, a woman stood up and talked about a "saying" she had seen on the side of a truck...Courage is fear that has said it's prayers. She spoke about what she was going through and how this message had helped her on that particular day...and she wondered...was it a message from God.
I wrote down the saying and began to meditate on it. For some reason, I could not get it out of my head....then I realized. The majority of the bad decisions I have made over the years is out of my own fears. Fears of being rejected, fears of being alone, fears of not being able to make it on my own, fears of losing someone, fears of what others will think, fears someone will get mad at me, fears of disappointing, fears of not being good enough, fear of not getting married or having children...I could go on and on.
Over the last five years, I was forced to face most of these fears because of my divorce...I was forced to be on my own, I was forced to do what others did not approve of, I was forced to start over, I was forced to take care of business, I was forced...truly...to grow up. As a result, over the last five years...I have grown tremendously in wisdom, in confidence and in strength. I have learned to make decisions based on faith as opposed to making decisions out of fear. I make courageous decisions as opposed to desperate ones.
So....my point ladies...when you make decisions out of fear....you are reacting on emotions...and that is never good. Learn to make courageous decisions based on your knowledge of you...what you want...what you prefer...what you know to be good for you. You will find they will be the best decisions you will ever make.
Till next time ladies.
I went to a prayer meeting at my church last Tuesday. I normally only go to Sunday service but I had a number of problems that I needed to deal with. During the service, a woman stood up and talked about a "saying" she had seen on the side of a truck...Courage is fear that has said it's prayers. She spoke about what she was going through and how this message had helped her on that particular day...and she wondered...was it a message from God.
I wrote down the saying and began to meditate on it. For some reason, I could not get it out of my head....then I realized. The majority of the bad decisions I have made over the years is out of my own fears. Fears of being rejected, fears of being alone, fears of not being able to make it on my own, fears of losing someone, fears of what others will think, fears someone will get mad at me, fears of disappointing, fears of not being good enough, fear of not getting married or having children...I could go on and on.
Over the last five years, I was forced to face most of these fears because of my divorce...I was forced to be on my own, I was forced to do what others did not approve of, I was forced to start over, I was forced to take care of business, I was forced...truly...to grow up. As a result, over the last five years...I have grown tremendously in wisdom, in confidence and in strength. I have learned to make decisions based on faith as opposed to making decisions out of fear. I make courageous decisions as opposed to desperate ones.
So....my point ladies...when you make decisions out of fear....you are reacting on emotions...and that is never good. Learn to make courageous decisions based on your knowledge of you...what you want...what you prefer...what you know to be good for you. You will find they will be the best decisions you will ever make.
Till next time ladies.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Be an FBI Agent
Your Momma never told you....when it comes to dating...you have to be a FBI agent.
Ladies....today's dating scene is scary to say the least. With the internet, diseases, crazies walking the streets, hidden children, hidden wives...let's face it...you just don't know what you may be dealing with. Unfortunately, it is left up to us ladies...to do our own investigation on our man.
A friend of mine just gave me one of the best tools to complete an investigation on your man. Go to the link below and find out if your man has had any run ins with the law or the legal system. Ladies...this link (for Maryland only) will allow you to check if your man has had a traffic violation, sex violation, or a criminal violation. You can tell if is in the middle of a divorce...or is actually divorced. You can tell if he has drug problems or financial problems....all from looking at his civil and criminal records.
Go now ladies..investigate your man. If you are in another state...locate your state link. Know what you are dealing with before getting too involved.
CLICK HERE: www.courts.state.md.us/ courtrecords.html
Till next time ladies.
Ladies....today's dating scene is scary to say the least. With the internet, diseases, crazies walking the streets, hidden children, hidden wives...let's face it...you just don't know what you may be dealing with. Unfortunately, it is left up to us ladies...to do our own investigation on our man.
A friend of mine just gave me one of the best tools to complete an investigation on your man. Go to the link below and find out if your man has had any run ins with the law or the legal system. Ladies...this link (for Maryland only) will allow you to check if your man has had a traffic violation, sex violation, or a criminal violation. You can tell if is in the middle of a divorce...or is actually divorced. You can tell if he has drug problems or financial problems....all from looking at his civil and criminal records.
Go now ladies..investigate your man. If you are in another state...locate your state link. Know what you are dealing with before getting too involved.
CLICK HERE: www.courts.state.md.us/ courtrecords.html
Till next time ladies.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Skinny B
Your Momma never told you don't let anyone call you a SKINNY BITCH!
When I was in my 20's I went to a comedy show in downtown Baltimore. The headliner was Monique. I was there with a striking date who was full of himself...so wouldn't you know it...Monique spotted him in the crowd. "Hey good looking" she said to him...."Who are you here with?" shaking her hips. I could see his head beginning to grow even larger in size right before my eyes as Monique began to flirt with him.
He gestured towards me and Monique said...."You are here with that SKINNY BITCH! You need a real woman that got some meat on her like me." Everyone laughed but me because I knew what was coming. For the rest of the two hours, the SKINNY BITCH (Me) was the bud of every joke. "STAND UP SKINNY BITCH!" She yelled throughout the show. "SKINNY BITCH! SKINNY BITCH!" ...all night long. My date...just laughed and enjoyed the off and on flirting by Monique. I on the other hand, was humiliated. To this day...when anyone mentions Monique...I can hear the echo of her voice yelling "SKINNY BITCH!SKINNY BITCH!" And for the record...I did not see Precious...or any other movie she was in...except for Two Can Play That Game because I love Morris Chestnut.
Anyway ladies...I learned two things from that evening. If you don't like how you are being treated...even at a comedy show...get up and go home. I did not like being called SKINNY BITCH over 30 times...and I did not like my date laughing and flirting all night....but at the time I was young with no self esteem...so I suffered and took the abuse. That is right ladies...I put myself through suffering...I could have just left.
The second lesson I learned is to stand up for myself. Ladies...I would never suggest taking on a professional comedian...but I sure could have given a verbal lashing to my date. Ladies...if a man does not defend you when you are taking verbal abuse or are simply uncomfortable...which is what this was...you know where you stand on the respect chain....and let's face it...he was treating me like a "SKINNY BITCH".
Till Next Time Ladies.
When I was in my 20's I went to a comedy show in downtown Baltimore. The headliner was Monique. I was there with a striking date who was full of himself...so wouldn't you know it...Monique spotted him in the crowd. "Hey good looking" she said to him...."Who are you here with?" shaking her hips. I could see his head beginning to grow even larger in size right before my eyes as Monique began to flirt with him.
He gestured towards me and Monique said...."You are here with that SKINNY BITCH! You need a real woman that got some meat on her like me." Everyone laughed but me because I knew what was coming. For the rest of the two hours, the SKINNY BITCH (Me) was the bud of every joke. "STAND UP SKINNY BITCH!" She yelled throughout the show. "SKINNY BITCH! SKINNY BITCH!" ...all night long. My date...just laughed and enjoyed the off and on flirting by Monique. I on the other hand, was humiliated. To this day...when anyone mentions Monique...I can hear the echo of her voice yelling "SKINNY BITCH!SKINNY BITCH!" And for the record...I did not see Precious...or any other movie she was in...except for Two Can Play That Game because I love Morris Chestnut.
Anyway ladies...I learned two things from that evening. If you don't like how you are being treated...even at a comedy show...get up and go home. I did not like being called SKINNY BITCH over 30 times...and I did not like my date laughing and flirting all night....but at the time I was young with no self esteem...so I suffered and took the abuse. That is right ladies...I put myself through suffering...I could have just left.
The second lesson I learned is to stand up for myself. Ladies...I would never suggest taking on a professional comedian...but I sure could have given a verbal lashing to my date. Ladies...if a man does not defend you when you are taking verbal abuse or are simply uncomfortable...which is what this was...you know where you stand on the respect chain....and let's face it...he was treating me like a "SKINNY BITCH".
Till Next Time Ladies.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Hail to Hallmark
Your Momma never told you send cards on days other than birthdays.
The other day I was feeling absolutely depressed. My kids are with my ex for two weeks and I have to say...I miss them terribly. I have not been able to talk to them like I had hoped and I have not been able to see them so I am in a state of withdrawal.
As much as they drive me crazy is as much as I need them close. I was feeling so sad when my boyfriend came by with a Hallmark card. The card was titled....He Listens. The card gave me comfort and hope. The card let me know that I always had a shoulder to lean on in God. My boyfriend wrote a note that he will always be there for me as well. It was such a big boost to me. I don't know what was more inspiring...the card or the act of giving by my boyfriend.
My point ladies...it only takes a few moments to give someone a card. It is one of the most sincere gifts you can give to another person. So the next time you want to show someone you care...or that you are thinking of them....send them a card. You will be surprised how good you both will feel.
Till Next Time Ladies.
The other day I was feeling absolutely depressed. My kids are with my ex for two weeks and I have to say...I miss them terribly. I have not been able to talk to them like I had hoped and I have not been able to see them so I am in a state of withdrawal.
As much as they drive me crazy is as much as I need them close. I was feeling so sad when my boyfriend came by with a Hallmark card. The card was titled....He Listens. The card gave me comfort and hope. The card let me know that I always had a shoulder to lean on in God. My boyfriend wrote a note that he will always be there for me as well. It was such a big boost to me. I don't know what was more inspiring...the card or the act of giving by my boyfriend.
My point ladies...it only takes a few moments to give someone a card. It is one of the most sincere gifts you can give to another person. So the next time you want to show someone you care...or that you are thinking of them....send them a card. You will be surprised how good you both will feel.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Moisturizer and Red Wine
Your Momma never told you the way to have great skin is moisturizer and red wine.
Ladies...I just came from my quarterly trip to Sephora. I just love that store because you can try all types of make up on just for fun. As a side note, it is a great place to take your daughter to about glamour and makeup. Even if your daughter is too young to wear makeup...there is nothing wrong with letting her try a little eyeshadow on with her Mommy. It is great fun.
Anyway, at Sephora, I ran into a woman from my church. She has to be about seventy but her skin has no wrinkles. I asked her to tell me what she buys to keep her skin so fresh...and coincidentally it was a product I love called Hope in a Jar(moisturizer). Ladies...she said moisturizer is the key to keeping the wrinkles at bay and I believed her. I immediately purchase a large jar of Hope in a Jar and the midrodelivery purifying peel (for an extra boost). I sped home because I wanted to apply the moisturizer immediately. The moment I put it on... I could tell it was working so I decided to celebrate.
I pulled the bottle of red wine in the refridgerator that my girlfriend gave me for my birthday and began to pour a glass when I remembered something her mother said. Her mother also in her seventies has not aged a day since I met her 20 plus years ago. Her skin is fantastic...and she had told me her secret years ago. Red wine....a glass or a mini jug every day.
And there you go ladies...the secret to great skin...moisturizer and red wine. You heard it hear first.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies...I just came from my quarterly trip to Sephora. I just love that store because you can try all types of make up on just for fun. As a side note, it is a great place to take your daughter to about glamour and makeup. Even if your daughter is too young to wear makeup...there is nothing wrong with letting her try a little eyeshadow on with her Mommy. It is great fun.
Anyway, at Sephora, I ran into a woman from my church. She has to be about seventy but her skin has no wrinkles. I asked her to tell me what she buys to keep her skin so fresh...and coincidentally it was a product I love called Hope in a Jar(moisturizer). Ladies...she said moisturizer is the key to keeping the wrinkles at bay and I believed her. I immediately purchase a large jar of Hope in a Jar and the midrodelivery purifying peel (for an extra boost). I sped home because I wanted to apply the moisturizer immediately. The moment I put it on... I could tell it was working so I decided to celebrate.
I pulled the bottle of red wine in the refridgerator that my girlfriend gave me for my birthday and began to pour a glass when I remembered something her mother said. Her mother also in her seventies has not aged a day since I met her 20 plus years ago. Her skin is fantastic...and she had told me her secret years ago. Red wine....a glass or a mini jug every day.
And there you go ladies...the secret to great skin...moisturizer and red wine. You heard it hear first.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Who is the S___?
Your Momma never told you....men can be sluts.
I was at my homecoming a few years ago and I ran into my old boyfriend. He was a cute little guy back then but the years had clearly taken a toll. Sadly, it appeared that he had continued the beer drinking and teenage fun every day since college. You know how men look when they have been drinking significantly...the skin is wrinkled...the coloring is off...the eyes are permanently glazed with a pink hue...but all in all it was great to see him. He was a real funny sincere person...at least that is what I remembered.
We traded a few marriage/divorce/life stories for about 15 minutes while standing in a crowd of thousands. Then came the....let me treat you like slut move.
The next thing he says is....how about we "hook up" (meaning go have sex) later in my hotel room. Screech.....halt. Okay...is it me...but why do old flames think after 10, 15, even 20 years...that you are interested in them physically and want to be treated like a street slut. I mean....children have been born, careers have taken off, parents have died....significant things have happened. What on earth?!
Getting back to the story, my jaw dropped and I said "You're kidding right." Ladies...do you know he was serious. I was shocked...I had no idea where he had been or who he had been with....I didn't know where he worked or what he did...I did not know where he lived or even his phone number....and clearly from his approach to me...no flowers, no candy, no card, no dinner, no drink, no alumni gift....just spread your legs...he had been plenty of places.
Needless to stay....me and my legs...walked away....stunned. I guess I should have been flattered he found me half way attractive after all of these years but I don't think it mattered. He wanted to relive his youth with the first woman he recognized from college days.
Ladies...I know this type of incident has not just happened to me....I have heard plenty of stories of men who appear from nowhere and want to get busy. Just remember, when a man wants to treat you like a slut...he most likely is one. Run!
I was at my homecoming a few years ago and I ran into my old boyfriend. He was a cute little guy back then but the years had clearly taken a toll. Sadly, it appeared that he had continued the beer drinking and teenage fun every day since college. You know how men look when they have been drinking significantly...the skin is wrinkled...the coloring is off...the eyes are permanently glazed with a pink hue...but all in all it was great to see him. He was a real funny sincere person...at least that is what I remembered.
We traded a few marriage/divorce/life stories for about 15 minutes while standing in a crowd of thousands. Then came the....let me treat you like slut move.
The next thing he says is....how about we "hook up" (meaning go have sex) later in my hotel room. Screech.....halt. Okay...is it me...but why do old flames think after 10, 15, even 20 years...that you are interested in them physically and want to be treated like a street slut. I mean....children have been born, careers have taken off, parents have died....significant things have happened. What on earth?!
Getting back to the story, my jaw dropped and I said "You're kidding right." Ladies...do you know he was serious. I was shocked...I had no idea where he had been or who he had been with....I didn't know where he worked or what he did...I did not know where he lived or even his phone number....and clearly from his approach to me...no flowers, no candy, no card, no dinner, no drink, no alumni gift....just spread your legs...he had been plenty of places.
Needless to stay....me and my legs...walked away....stunned. I guess I should have been flattered he found me half way attractive after all of these years but I don't think it mattered. He wanted to relive his youth with the first woman he recognized from college days.
Ladies...I know this type of incident has not just happened to me....I have heard plenty of stories of men who appear from nowhere and want to get busy. Just remember, when a man wants to treat you like a slut...he most likely is one. Run!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Make a Decision
Your Momma never told you...do not fear other people's reactions to your decisions.
I can remember years ago, I wanted to be a broadcaster....so when I went to pick a major in college...I told my parents I wanted to major in Communications and Mass Media. My parents told me that was not a good idea because at that time there were very few channels on TV. (This was before cable) They said it was unlikely that I would ever get on TV and insisted I major in accounting because I was excellent in Math.
During my freshman year, I wanted to change my major. I wanted to be a news broadcaster or radio broadcaster but I feared my parents reaction...so I did not do it. I did what I was told and majored in accounting.
To this day, I regret that decision. I realized that I should have stood up to my parents and made a decision for me...regardless of their reaction...and lived with the consequences.
Ladies....make the decisions for your life for you...do not let the fear of another person's reactions...whether it be your husband, your children, your friends, your family, your boss, your co-workers or your parents....keep you from doing you.
Till Next Time Ladies
I can remember years ago, I wanted to be a broadcaster....so when I went to pick a major in college...I told my parents I wanted to major in Communications and Mass Media. My parents told me that was not a good idea because at that time there were very few channels on TV. (This was before cable) They said it was unlikely that I would ever get on TV and insisted I major in accounting because I was excellent in Math.
During my freshman year, I wanted to change my major. I wanted to be a news broadcaster or radio broadcaster but I feared my parents reaction...so I did not do it. I did what I was told and majored in accounting.
To this day, I regret that decision. I realized that I should have stood up to my parents and made a decision for me...regardless of their reaction...and lived with the consequences.
Ladies....make the decisions for your life for you...do not let the fear of another person's reactions...whether it be your husband, your children, your friends, your family, your boss, your co-workers or your parents....keep you from doing you.
Till Next Time Ladies
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
How To Keep Cool While Keeping It Hot
Your Momma never told you...a heatwave can give you the opportunity to get cool with your man.
Ladies...we are in midst of one of the hottest summers ever recorded. It is going to be over 100 degrees today....and there is no sign of relief. These hot days are going to persist into the month of August so I got to thinking of fun ways to keep cool with my man...while keeping it hot. Here are some suggestions ladies....
1. Tubing - Harper's Ferry, WV offers a great fun way to keep cool while having a lot of fun with your man. Roughly an hour away from DC....this hidden cove offers a lot of water sports for you and your man. Go tubing down the lake holding hands. This is a fantastic way to beat the hot sun while keeping it hot between you and your man....and there is nothing like an adventure to pump up the sparks.
2. Ice Cube Rub - One late evening, lie naked with your man and treat your him to an ice cube rub....trust me he will want to recipricate. Watch him shakes and quivers as you rub the ice all over his muscles (let's remain hopeful that he has some ladies).
3. Human Ice Cream Sundae - Well...this is self explanatory...need I say more....I recommend avoid any favors with hard items such as nuts or cookies...keep it simple.
4. Skimpy Swim - Ladies...put on your skimpiest or form fitting swimsuit and go to the pool. You may say...but I am out of shape...who cares...you got a man that is holding onto you every night...he seems to like it. Besides...skimpy swim suits make us feel sexy. Oh...and don't forget to insist your man where a speedo. Now the skimpy swim can be hot or it can be absolutely hilarious...either way...it is can seve as a great aphrodisiac.
5. Midnight Shower - Set your alarm clocks ladies...and wake your man up for a cool down joint shower at midnight. This spontaneous jolt will have your man cooled down and fired up all at once. Rub scented soaps on each other and build up the lather. When the shower is over...time for the lotion and rub down...at this point ladies...get ready for the time of your life...your man will be wide awake...and you know what that means.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies...we are in midst of one of the hottest summers ever recorded. It is going to be over 100 degrees today....and there is no sign of relief. These hot days are going to persist into the month of August so I got to thinking of fun ways to keep cool with my man...while keeping it hot. Here are some suggestions ladies....
1. Tubing - Harper's Ferry, WV offers a great fun way to keep cool while having a lot of fun with your man. Roughly an hour away from DC....this hidden cove offers a lot of water sports for you and your man. Go tubing down the lake holding hands. This is a fantastic way to beat the hot sun while keeping it hot between you and your man....and there is nothing like an adventure to pump up the sparks.
2. Ice Cube Rub - One late evening, lie naked with your man and treat your him to an ice cube rub....trust me he will want to recipricate. Watch him shakes and quivers as you rub the ice all over his muscles (let's remain hopeful that he has some ladies).
3. Human Ice Cream Sundae - Well...this is self explanatory...need I say more....I recommend avoid any favors with hard items such as nuts or cookies...keep it simple.
4. Skimpy Swim - Ladies...put on your skimpiest or form fitting swimsuit and go to the pool. You may say...but I am out of shape...who cares...you got a man that is holding onto you every night...he seems to like it. Besides...skimpy swim suits make us feel sexy. Oh...and don't forget to insist your man where a speedo. Now the skimpy swim can be hot or it can be absolutely hilarious...either way...it is can seve as a great aphrodisiac.
5. Midnight Shower - Set your alarm clocks ladies...and wake your man up for a cool down joint shower at midnight. This spontaneous jolt will have your man cooled down and fired up all at once. Rub scented soaps on each other and build up the lather. When the shower is over...time for the lotion and rub down...at this point ladies...get ready for the time of your life...your man will be wide awake...and you know what that means.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Friday, July 23, 2010
SHHHHHH!
Your Momma never told you....silence is an answer.
I don't know when it started but for some reason I have always thought I was required give a response or full explanation when someone asked me something. But over time I have come to realize...no answer is an answer. Sometimes....giving a response of silence...says way more than trying to stumble through an explanation....that quite frankly...I don't feel like giving.
For example, this morning my daughter asked me two times to go to the store to buy her playing cards. I told her I did not have time to get cards this morning and the answer was no. She persisted. Finally, she asked again and I just looked at her and responded with silence. Suddenly, it dawned on her...my mother is not going to get the cards...nor is she going to discuss this any further. My daughter actually responded to my silence with an "ok"....and walked away.
This type of response also works with men as well...I remember when I was married...I shared a bathroom with my daughters while my ex had his own bathroom...the master. I always cleaned the bathroom I shared with the girls but I left him to clean his own. One day he saw me cleaning and said when are you going to clean my bathroom?....I responded with silence. He softened it by saying...I mean if you are cleaning...you could clean my bathroom also. I again responded in silence. You see the reason we did not share a bathroom was because when I cleaned it..he would immediately destroy it. We were constantly fighting about cleaning it...so I gave up. So in my mind...why should I get into this again...it is over...there is no need to give a response. Needless to say, he left it alone.
Ladies...remember...you don't have to be harrassed, bullied, or coerced into giving a responsed that you don't want to or need to. Remember silence is also a response.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I don't know when it started but for some reason I have always thought I was required give a response or full explanation when someone asked me something. But over time I have come to realize...no answer is an answer. Sometimes....giving a response of silence...says way more than trying to stumble through an explanation....that quite frankly...I don't feel like giving.
For example, this morning my daughter asked me two times to go to the store to buy her playing cards. I told her I did not have time to get cards this morning and the answer was no. She persisted. Finally, she asked again and I just looked at her and responded with silence. Suddenly, it dawned on her...my mother is not going to get the cards...nor is she going to discuss this any further. My daughter actually responded to my silence with an "ok"....and walked away.
This type of response also works with men as well...I remember when I was married...I shared a bathroom with my daughters while my ex had his own bathroom...the master. I always cleaned the bathroom I shared with the girls but I left him to clean his own. One day he saw me cleaning and said when are you going to clean my bathroom?....I responded with silence. He softened it by saying...I mean if you are cleaning...you could clean my bathroom also. I again responded in silence. You see the reason we did not share a bathroom was because when I cleaned it..he would immediately destroy it. We were constantly fighting about cleaning it...so I gave up. So in my mind...why should I get into this again...it is over...there is no need to give a response. Needless to say, he left it alone.
Ladies...remember...you don't have to be harrassed, bullied, or coerced into giving a responsed that you don't want to or need to. Remember silence is also a response.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Three Things You Own
Your Momma never told you that you only truly own three things...your mind, body, and spirit....so don't give them away.
I was watching the movie The Runaway Bride...a movie about a woman who conforms to thinking like the man she is currently dating. If he liked hiking...she did ...if he liked scrambled eggs...she did...if he got a tattoo...she did. In other words, her thoughts, wants, and desires were based solely on her man (at the time). After watching this movie...I got to thinking about how many women give up the three things they are given at birth...truly the only things they own...their mind, body, and spirit...willingly to a man.
I was reminded of a old friend I recently saw at a local mall. The last time I had spent any time with this woman, she was a vibrant, beautiful, and smart....however, on this day...she appeared withdrawn, sad, worn out, and controlled. It became clear after a few sentences, she had given her mind, body, and spirit over to the man she was dating. I tried to talk to her but her man was lurking in the background. She looked completely broken and desperate. All I could do scribble my number on a piece of paper and plead with her to call me.
Ladies...I know you know what I am talking about...we all know someone that gets so caught up in their man...they become isolated and lost. If they used to go to church, they stop...after all their man doesn't go...If they hate bowling...suddenly they are on a traveling bowling league...after all their man loves to bowl...if they had a lot of girlfriends...suddenly...they never see them...they are too busy with their man. Essentially, they become unrecognizable...a shell of the woman they were designed to be.
Ladies...let's wake up...keep control of your mind, body, and spirit. Don't give them over to anyone to control or manipulate. Hold on to your morals, values, beliefs, interests, friends, family, joys, etc. As a matter of fact, spend time each day feeding and nurturing your mind, body, and spirit....that keeps you strong. And ladies... if you see a girlfriend starting to hand the three things she owns to a man...be sure to jump up and down and scream and shout...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Till Next Time Ladies
I was watching the movie The Runaway Bride...a movie about a woman who conforms to thinking like the man she is currently dating. If he liked hiking...she did ...if he liked scrambled eggs...she did...if he got a tattoo...she did. In other words, her thoughts, wants, and desires were based solely on her man (at the time). After watching this movie...I got to thinking about how many women give up the three things they are given at birth...truly the only things they own...their mind, body, and spirit...willingly to a man.
I was reminded of a old friend I recently saw at a local mall. The last time I had spent any time with this woman, she was a vibrant, beautiful, and smart....however, on this day...she appeared withdrawn, sad, worn out, and controlled. It became clear after a few sentences, she had given her mind, body, and spirit over to the man she was dating. I tried to talk to her but her man was lurking in the background. She looked completely broken and desperate. All I could do scribble my number on a piece of paper and plead with her to call me.
Ladies...I know you know what I am talking about...we all know someone that gets so caught up in their man...they become isolated and lost. If they used to go to church, they stop...after all their man doesn't go...If they hate bowling...suddenly they are on a traveling bowling league...after all their man loves to bowl...if they had a lot of girlfriends...suddenly...they never see them...they are too busy with their man. Essentially, they become unrecognizable...a shell of the woman they were designed to be.
Ladies...let's wake up...keep control of your mind, body, and spirit. Don't give them over to anyone to control or manipulate. Hold on to your morals, values, beliefs, interests, friends, family, joys, etc. As a matter of fact, spend time each day feeding and nurturing your mind, body, and spirit....that keeps you strong. And ladies... if you see a girlfriend starting to hand the three things she owns to a man...be sure to jump up and down and scream and shout...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Till Next Time Ladies
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Old Love Remix
Your Momma Never Told You to keep your eyes open when it comes to old loves.
With the new social networks that are available these days....ladies...old loves can pop up at moments notice. Some old loves we want to forget immediately...we defriend them or prevent them from finding us.
Some old loves can be intriguing because they remind us of our youth, of a time where all we had to worry about was ourselves, and of a time where we were pleasantly naive. When these old loves appear...we remember the laughs, the silliness, the fun, the carefree attitude...we once possessed before life happened to us. So ladies, if you decided to hook up with one of these old loves...it is important to keep in mind a few things.
1. Years Have Passed - The fact is ladies....years have past. The person you knew years ago...may not be the same person today. Marriage, divorce, addictions, and who knows what could have occurred in this person's life. These types of events can change a person for the better or for the worst...so take the time to get to know the person again.
2. You Have Changed - Most likely ladies, you are a very different person than you were five, ten, fifteen years ago. Your values and morales may have been reshaped...your needs and wants may be very different...your attitude about certain things may be completely developed....based on your experiences...so take the time to let the person know you again.
3. Enjoy the Past - The one great thing about old loves...they remember the good parts of you...sometime the parts you have forgotten. They can tell stories and recount events...that you may have just pushed way back in your memory. I remember a scene out of one of my favorite movies...The Notebook...where Noah sets up a paint studio for his young love...when she returned...she had forgotten she loved to paint...life had stolen that part of her away. It was a past love that reminded her of her gift...and he restored it for her.
4. Stay In the Present - Don't get so caught up in what happened previously that you don't understand what is going on today. In other words, live in the reality of today. Your old love could be downright crazy. He may be a womanizer. He may be an abuser. He may be disturbed....or ladies...he could just be a lot of fun and very sweet. Who knows...just keep your eyes open and aware.
Till Next Time Ladies
With the new social networks that are available these days....ladies...old loves can pop up at moments notice. Some old loves we want to forget immediately...we defriend them or prevent them from finding us.
Some old loves can be intriguing because they remind us of our youth, of a time where all we had to worry about was ourselves, and of a time where we were pleasantly naive. When these old loves appear...we remember the laughs, the silliness, the fun, the carefree attitude...we once possessed before life happened to us. So ladies, if you decided to hook up with one of these old loves...it is important to keep in mind a few things.
1. Years Have Passed - The fact is ladies....years have past. The person you knew years ago...may not be the same person today. Marriage, divorce, addictions, and who knows what could have occurred in this person's life. These types of events can change a person for the better or for the worst...so take the time to get to know the person again.
2. You Have Changed - Most likely ladies, you are a very different person than you were five, ten, fifteen years ago. Your values and morales may have been reshaped...your needs and wants may be very different...your attitude about certain things may be completely developed....based on your experiences...so take the time to let the person know you again.
3. Enjoy the Past - The one great thing about old loves...they remember the good parts of you...sometime the parts you have forgotten. They can tell stories and recount events...that you may have just pushed way back in your memory. I remember a scene out of one of my favorite movies...The Notebook...where Noah sets up a paint studio for his young love...when she returned...she had forgotten she loved to paint...life had stolen that part of her away. It was a past love that reminded her of her gift...and he restored it for her.
4. Stay In the Present - Don't get so caught up in what happened previously that you don't understand what is going on today. In other words, live in the reality of today. Your old love could be downright crazy. He may be a womanizer. He may be an abuser. He may be disturbed....or ladies...he could just be a lot of fun and very sweet. Who knows...just keep your eyes open and aware.
Till Next Time Ladies
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Husband Material Part 2
Your Momma never told you that not every man is husband material.
Ladies, as I said yesterday, after experiencing several failed relationships, I realized my selection process was extremely poor and uninformed. So ladies, you can learn from my mistakes. So here is Part 2 of the characteristics a man needs to be considered husband material.
Husband Material
6. Spiritual Awareness - A man must believe there is a higher power that he must answer to. He must have a faith to rely on when things do not go well. He must know the difference between right and wrong. He must be willing to grow his faith and serve as the spiritual leader of the family. Do not marry a non-religious man and expect him to suddenly start going to church and to find Jesus. It most likely will not happen anytime soon...if at all.
7. Words Match Actions - A man must do what he says he is going to do. He must be a man of integrity. His words must be something that can be relied upon. He must handle his business. He must be trustworthy, speak clearly, and honest. Word salads, mind games, deliberate vagueness, unclear intentions, and downright deception...does not equal a ring on your finger.
8. Expresses Love in Word and Deeds - A man must not only say he loves you...he must show it through his actions and behaviors. Hand holding, kisses, and displays of affection are wonderful...AND so is caring for you when you are sick....so is making sure the bills are paid...so is letting you sleep in while he takes care of the kids. A man's behavior and actions should exemplify his love for you.
9. Show Respect for himself and others- A man must show respect for himself by behaving as a grown up. He must value the creation of his own family. He must carry himself with dignity and have pride in his appearance. He must respect you, your family, your friend relationships, your children, and your work. He must have his own goals but honor your seperate goals...and be willing to help you achieve them. A man who tries to sabatoge or minimize your goals is childish and disrespectful. A man who tries to isolate you from your family or friends is immature and selfish. A man who disrespects your relationship and time with your children...well...enough said....not husband material.
10. Love of Life - A man must have an energetic positive spirit. He must believe in lifelong learning. He must want to try new things and experience new adventures. He must view life as precious and something to be treasured. He must find the humor in life...he must laugh, dance, and be able to play. A man who unhappy with his life or has not achieved his goals....a man who is grumpy and negative....and dissatisfied...is no fun. And watch out if you are happy and successful...it will only piss him off. He will spend most of his time trying to rain and thunderstorm on your parade.
Ladies...I did not mention he should be sexy or hot or good looking or fit because if a man has these ten characteristics....all of those things should exist or magically appear. Conversely, if all he has is good looks and a sexy body, while that is fun to enjoy....it is not marriage material. A man who has these ten characteristics is a long term definite keeper...his strength and beauty will shine through!
Till Next Time Ladies...and for those who are looking...tell me if you find one!
Ladies, as I said yesterday, after experiencing several failed relationships, I realized my selection process was extremely poor and uninformed. So ladies, you can learn from my mistakes. So here is Part 2 of the characteristics a man needs to be considered husband material.
Husband Material
6. Spiritual Awareness - A man must believe there is a higher power that he must answer to. He must have a faith to rely on when things do not go well. He must know the difference between right and wrong. He must be willing to grow his faith and serve as the spiritual leader of the family. Do not marry a non-religious man and expect him to suddenly start going to church and to find Jesus. It most likely will not happen anytime soon...if at all.
7. Words Match Actions - A man must do what he says he is going to do. He must be a man of integrity. His words must be something that can be relied upon. He must handle his business. He must be trustworthy, speak clearly, and honest. Word salads, mind games, deliberate vagueness, unclear intentions, and downright deception...does not equal a ring on your finger.
8. Expresses Love in Word and Deeds - A man must not only say he loves you...he must show it through his actions and behaviors. Hand holding, kisses, and displays of affection are wonderful...AND so is caring for you when you are sick....so is making sure the bills are paid...so is letting you sleep in while he takes care of the kids. A man's behavior and actions should exemplify his love for you.
9. Show Respect for himself and others- A man must show respect for himself by behaving as a grown up. He must value the creation of his own family. He must carry himself with dignity and have pride in his appearance. He must respect you, your family, your friend relationships, your children, and your work. He must have his own goals but honor your seperate goals...and be willing to help you achieve them. A man who tries to sabatoge or minimize your goals is childish and disrespectful. A man who tries to isolate you from your family or friends is immature and selfish. A man who disrespects your relationship and time with your children...well...enough said....not husband material.
10. Love of Life - A man must have an energetic positive spirit. He must believe in lifelong learning. He must want to try new things and experience new adventures. He must view life as precious and something to be treasured. He must find the humor in life...he must laugh, dance, and be able to play. A man who unhappy with his life or has not achieved his goals....a man who is grumpy and negative....and dissatisfied...is no fun. And watch out if you are happy and successful...it will only piss him off. He will spend most of his time trying to rain and thunderstorm on your parade.
Ladies...I did not mention he should be sexy or hot or good looking or fit because if a man has these ten characteristics....all of those things should exist or magically appear. Conversely, if all he has is good looks and a sexy body, while that is fun to enjoy....it is not marriage material. A man who has these ten characteristics is a long term definite keeper...his strength and beauty will shine through!
Till Next Time Ladies...and for those who are looking...tell me if you find one!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Husband Material Part 1
Your Momma never told you that not every man is husband material.
Ladies, after experiencing several failed relationships, I realized my selection process was extremely poor and uninformed. I guess I just did not realize the seriousness of the choices I was making. So ladies, you can learn from my mistakes. So here is Part 1 of the characteristics a man needs to be considered husband material.
Husband Material
1. Independent - A man must be successfully living on his own without help from Mom. He must have his own place. He must work. He must pay his bills on time. He must be able to care for himself. Men who are living at home want you to take over Mommy's role....run, run, run.
2. Confident - A man must have high self esteem...not arrogance....but he should feel good about his life and his accomplishments. And ladies...there must be some accomplishments...career, education, etc....to be proud of.
3. Anger Free - A man must have healed from any childhood anger and disappointments. Men who are still mad at their mothers or fathers...have a hard time with relationships. You will soon find that his anger is directed at you.
4. Financially Aware - Most relationships break up because of money disagreements. A man must have an awareness of how money works, the importance of credit, and what a savings account means. Some men believe savings is an option....or to be used to by him only on a big ticket item every month.
5. Self Control - A man must exhibit self control...as it relates to women, money, addictive substances, porn, lying, and emotions....just to name a few. Ladies, this is very important because self control is the one of the hardest characteristics to access in a man. You must watch his behaviors very carefully to determine if your man has control over his impulses. If you marry a man with little self control...you will be in a constant battle....for control...and you will not win.
I will finish up tomorrow ladies...
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies, after experiencing several failed relationships, I realized my selection process was extremely poor and uninformed. I guess I just did not realize the seriousness of the choices I was making. So ladies, you can learn from my mistakes. So here is Part 1 of the characteristics a man needs to be considered husband material.
Husband Material
1. Independent - A man must be successfully living on his own without help from Mom. He must have his own place. He must work. He must pay his bills on time. He must be able to care for himself. Men who are living at home want you to take over Mommy's role....run, run, run.
2. Confident - A man must have high self esteem...not arrogance....but he should feel good about his life and his accomplishments. And ladies...there must be some accomplishments...career, education, etc....to be proud of.
3. Anger Free - A man must have healed from any childhood anger and disappointments. Men who are still mad at their mothers or fathers...have a hard time with relationships. You will soon find that his anger is directed at you.
4. Financially Aware - Most relationships break up because of money disagreements. A man must have an awareness of how money works, the importance of credit, and what a savings account means. Some men believe savings is an option....or to be used to by him only on a big ticket item every month.
5. Self Control - A man must exhibit self control...as it relates to women, money, addictive substances, porn, lying, and emotions....just to name a few. Ladies, this is very important because self control is the one of the hardest characteristics to access in a man. You must watch his behaviors very carefully to determine if your man has control over his impulses. If you marry a man with little self control...you will be in a constant battle....for control...and you will not win.
I will finish up tomorrow ladies...
Till Next Time Ladies.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Cheater, Cheater...Pumpkin Eater
Your Momma never told you the five signs your man may be cheating.
1. A Sinking Feeling. If you suddenly start to think to yourself..."Is he cheating?" take it seriously. As I said before, women have intuition and internal senses that register when something just is not right. If you get this feeling, start to investigate.
2. The Good Samaritan. If your man all of sudden becomes a good samaritan...wanting to help a troubled friends with various problems...start to investigate. He may start needing to help people move for four hours...or help someone with car problems....or pick up someone from work...or help someone through a divorce....or maybe his sister has problems....whatever...if these good samaritan efforts become consistent...investigate. He may be needing blocks of time to carry on another relationship.
3. Constant texting and won't put the cell phone down. If your man loves to text in your presence...watch out. His attention should be solely on you. He may be covering his tracks by texting another woman and caring on a relationship right under your nose. If he carries his cell everywhere includig the bathroom or shower...start to investigate...we all love technology but that is taking it too far...something may be up.
4. Unprovoked arguments. Men like women...can be drama queens. You may end up in an argument for no good reason...as a result you are not speaking or refuse to see him...and that is just what he wants. If he starts an argument over the phone...insist on meeting face to face...argue in person...at least you will know where he is.
5. Refuses to meet your friends or go out. This type of man wants to be undercover. He does not want to be out and about because he may run into someone that knows he is a dog. If he only wants to meet at night, refuses to go to a big local event...like a festival or concert...or has an excuse everytime there is a family event to not attend...watch out...you may be with an Undercover Brother. Hell...he may even be dating your cousin....just keeping it real ladies.
Till Next Time Ladies
1. A Sinking Feeling. If you suddenly start to think to yourself..."Is he cheating?" take it seriously. As I said before, women have intuition and internal senses that register when something just is not right. If you get this feeling, start to investigate.
2. The Good Samaritan. If your man all of sudden becomes a good samaritan...wanting to help a troubled friends with various problems...start to investigate. He may start needing to help people move for four hours...or help someone with car problems....or pick up someone from work...or help someone through a divorce....or maybe his sister has problems....whatever...if these good samaritan efforts become consistent...investigate. He may be needing blocks of time to carry on another relationship.
3. Constant texting and won't put the cell phone down. If your man loves to text in your presence...watch out. His attention should be solely on you. He may be covering his tracks by texting another woman and caring on a relationship right under your nose. If he carries his cell everywhere includig the bathroom or shower...start to investigate...we all love technology but that is taking it too far...something may be up.
4. Unprovoked arguments. Men like women...can be drama queens. You may end up in an argument for no good reason...as a result you are not speaking or refuse to see him...and that is just what he wants. If he starts an argument over the phone...insist on meeting face to face...argue in person...at least you will know where he is.
5. Refuses to meet your friends or go out. This type of man wants to be undercover. He does not want to be out and about because he may run into someone that knows he is a dog. If he only wants to meet at night, refuses to go to a big local event...like a festival or concert...or has an excuse everytime there is a family event to not attend...watch out...you may be with an Undercover Brother. Hell...he may even be dating your cousin....just keeping it real ladies.
Till Next Time Ladies
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Throw a Dinner Party
Your Momma never told you to throw a dinner party.
Ladies...how many of us have beautiful china sitting in the cabinet collecting dust? How many of us have fancy sets of silverware just waiting to be used? What about the crystal stemware...when was the last time you used it?
Well ladies, it is time to reconnect again and promote human contact. While the texting, emailing, facebooking, and social networking is great...I like to see people face to face. Last night I threw a dinner party in honor of a friend who has made a big change in her life for the better. I was so proud of her that I said...let's have a dinner party. I invited a few friends and spent all day preparing the meal and the table with the china and stemware. It was such a treat.
We all had a great time laughing and telling the stories that make up our lives. My friend really appreciated the dinner and I enjoyed celebrating her. I can't think of a better way to spend an evening....ladies.
Ladies...start to planning a dinner party...invite a view friends just for fun or think of a way to celebrate another person's successes...or you could celebrate yourself!
Till Next Time Ladies!
Ladies...how many of us have beautiful china sitting in the cabinet collecting dust? How many of us have fancy sets of silverware just waiting to be used? What about the crystal stemware...when was the last time you used it?
Well ladies, it is time to reconnect again and promote human contact. While the texting, emailing, facebooking, and social networking is great...I like to see people face to face. Last night I threw a dinner party in honor of a friend who has made a big change in her life for the better. I was so proud of her that I said...let's have a dinner party. I invited a few friends and spent all day preparing the meal and the table with the china and stemware. It was such a treat.
We all had a great time laughing and telling the stories that make up our lives. My friend really appreciated the dinner and I enjoyed celebrating her. I can't think of a better way to spend an evening....ladies.
Ladies...start to planning a dinner party...invite a view friends just for fun or think of a way to celebrate another person's successes...or you could celebrate yourself!
Till Next Time Ladies!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Design Your Life
Your Momma did not tell you to take time to design your life.
Recently, I spent a few days redesigning my daughter's bedroom while she was with my ex. I hung corner shelves and cube boxes on the walls. I took cleaned out her closet and organized her clothes. I labeled and organized her drawers. I hung a hook for her book bag and coat. I did all of this in an effort to make her life easier and more organized. I looked at what she needed to do each day and I determined what would help her manage her life better....and then I got to thinking.
Ladies...I decided to spend time designing my life. I started to think how I wanted to live, where I wanted to live, where I wanted to vacation, who I wanted in my life, what I wanted to learn, what I wanted to teach my daughters, and how I wanted to be remembered. I realized during my 20's and 30's I kinda of stumbled through life...just falling into situations. I really did not take the time to determine how I wanted to live and then subsequently make a clear path to get to it. I would not call those years wasted...but I would say I did not make the most out of those years.
Well no more ladies...I have begun to consciously design my life. I have spent a significant amount of time determining how I want to live each day.
For example, I love water...the pool, the ocean, the bath, the shower, the rain. Water brings me peace...so I make sure to incorporate these things in my life by making them valued experiences. I travel regularly to the pool and a variety of beaches. I spend time creating extreme bubble baths and I am currently shopping for the perfect showerhead to increase my shower experience. When it rains, I curl up on the sofa with a great book or movie...or I get in bed with my children and just listen to the rain falling. While these things may seem minor....they give me energy and joy....a fantastic shower helps me start and end the day feeling fantastic.
My design includes how I design my home, how I eat, who I associate with, where I work, what I learn and read, what I am going to teach, where I am going to go, what I enjoy, how I care for myself and my children each day. It is not routine or something I just get up and do....but a designed plan...it is my way of life. My life is becoming completely based on what I love and what fulfills me.
Ladies...don't stumble through each day and just exist each day....spinning in circles...or just doing, doing, doing....take time to design your life...and enjoy.
Recently, I spent a few days redesigning my daughter's bedroom while she was with my ex. I hung corner shelves and cube boxes on the walls. I took cleaned out her closet and organized her clothes. I labeled and organized her drawers. I hung a hook for her book bag and coat. I did all of this in an effort to make her life easier and more organized. I looked at what she needed to do each day and I determined what would help her manage her life better....and then I got to thinking.
Ladies...I decided to spend time designing my life. I started to think how I wanted to live, where I wanted to live, where I wanted to vacation, who I wanted in my life, what I wanted to learn, what I wanted to teach my daughters, and how I wanted to be remembered. I realized during my 20's and 30's I kinda of stumbled through life...just falling into situations. I really did not take the time to determine how I wanted to live and then subsequently make a clear path to get to it. I would not call those years wasted...but I would say I did not make the most out of those years.
Well no more ladies...I have begun to consciously design my life. I have spent a significant amount of time determining how I want to live each day.
For example, I love water...the pool, the ocean, the bath, the shower, the rain. Water brings me peace...so I make sure to incorporate these things in my life by making them valued experiences. I travel regularly to the pool and a variety of beaches. I spend time creating extreme bubble baths and I am currently shopping for the perfect showerhead to increase my shower experience. When it rains, I curl up on the sofa with a great book or movie...or I get in bed with my children and just listen to the rain falling. While these things may seem minor....they give me energy and joy....a fantastic shower helps me start and end the day feeling fantastic.
My design includes how I design my home, how I eat, who I associate with, where I work, what I learn and read, what I am going to teach, where I am going to go, what I enjoy, how I care for myself and my children each day. It is not routine or something I just get up and do....but a designed plan...it is my way of life. My life is becoming completely based on what I love and what fulfills me.
Ladies...don't stumble through each day and just exist each day....spinning in circles...or just doing, doing, doing....take time to design your life...and enjoy.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Are you smarter than a man?
Your Momma never told you...you are just as smart or smarter than a man.
Ladies...have you ever sat back and watched your man make a dumb decision? Have you ever wanted to stomp your feet and scream at the top of your lungs....I told you so!!!? (But didn't because you did not want to make a bad situation worst,)Have you started to grow wrinkles on your forehead because you walk around with a confused look...because of your man's ridiculous decisions? Have you ever seen your man throw money out the window for no good reason...and then turn around and give you a speech on the importance of saving?
Well ladies...join the club....it is time for us to recognize that we are as smart or smarter than our man. It is a fact ladies...that most women take their time to think and research a topic...prior to making a decision. It is a fact that woman are born with a certain set of instincts and intuition that men simply do not possess. It is also a fact that women tend to discuss options with others....weigh the pros and cons...prior to making a decision...therefore, we tend to have better decision making skills then most men.
So what do we do ladies....sadly nothing...these creatures called men...are hopeless. If you try to give them advice, you will get the your not my mother speech....or your may get the you are controlling speech. If you insist on a course of action that he does not agree with...count on him doing the exact opposite. If you keep bringing the issue up, count on being completely ignored....or you might even get the ok...I will do it your way speech...and then he will walk out the door and do what he wants to do.
I know it sounds crazy but this is how men operate. All you can do is make one effort to give advice...if a miracle occurs and he takes it...great. If not, be there to pick up the pieces when the glass falls off the table and shatters on the floor. Ladies..it may take awhile to get up all the pieces, you may get a cut, you may have to get some glue to put the glass back together, or you may need to throw the glass away all together....but when it is all said and done...have a quiet little laugh and say to yourself...I am smart!
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...have you ever sat back and watched your man make a dumb decision? Have you ever wanted to stomp your feet and scream at the top of your lungs....I told you so!!!? (But didn't because you did not want to make a bad situation worst,)Have you started to grow wrinkles on your forehead because you walk around with a confused look...because of your man's ridiculous decisions? Have you ever seen your man throw money out the window for no good reason...and then turn around and give you a speech on the importance of saving?
Well ladies...join the club....it is time for us to recognize that we are as smart or smarter than our man. It is a fact ladies...that most women take their time to think and research a topic...prior to making a decision. It is a fact that woman are born with a certain set of instincts and intuition that men simply do not possess. It is also a fact that women tend to discuss options with others....weigh the pros and cons...prior to making a decision...therefore, we tend to have better decision making skills then most men.
So what do we do ladies....sadly nothing...these creatures called men...are hopeless. If you try to give them advice, you will get the your not my mother speech....or your may get the you are controlling speech. If you insist on a course of action that he does not agree with...count on him doing the exact opposite. If you keep bringing the issue up, count on being completely ignored....or you might even get the ok...I will do it your way speech...and then he will walk out the door and do what he wants to do.
I know it sounds crazy but this is how men operate. All you can do is make one effort to give advice...if a miracle occurs and he takes it...great. If not, be there to pick up the pieces when the glass falls off the table and shatters on the floor. Ladies..it may take awhile to get up all the pieces, you may get a cut, you may have to get some glue to put the glass back together, or you may need to throw the glass away all together....but when it is all said and done...have a quiet little laugh and say to yourself...I am smart!
Till Next Time Ladies
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Be a Woman of Your Word
Your Momma never told you, in order to be respected, you must be a woman of your word.
Ladies...have you ever had a friend that never comes through? If you have a party, she says she will be there...and then never comes....never calls. Maybe she says she is going to stop by on the way to the mall around 3:00 pm and you wait and wait and wait....and at 8:00 pm...she calls and says she got side tracked and won't be coming. She may insist on bringing the dessert to a family get together...and then show ups with nothing. And...she is the friend that says....I will call you right back in 10 minutes....and you never hear from her for several months....until she needs something.
This type of woman always has an excuse for her poor behavior...traffic, kids, relatives, car trouble, slow clerks at the store....etc. Sometimes...she does not even bother to give and excuse...what for? You learn over time to just ignore what she says...because her words have no value. She is someone that you don't trust or count on.
And then there is the other type of woman that is a woman of her word. When she says she will be there....she is there 10 minutes early. If she calls and says she will be at3:00 pm...she is there at 2:50 pm. If you ask her to bring a pie to the cookout ....she shows up with two. Bottom line...you can count on her...every time. Ladies....a woman of her word...keeps her promises and exceeds expectations. She says what she means and means what she says. She is trustworthy and relaible. She is someone that you value and respect.
Now ladies...ask herself...what type of woman are you?
Ladies..if you are a woman of your word....fantastic. If you are not....make a change and start being a woman that can be counted on by showing up and coming through on your promises. It all depends on...who you want to be.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...have you ever had a friend that never comes through? If you have a party, she says she will be there...and then never comes....never calls. Maybe she says she is going to stop by on the way to the mall around 3:00 pm and you wait and wait and wait....and at 8:00 pm...she calls and says she got side tracked and won't be coming. She may insist on bringing the dessert to a family get together...and then show ups with nothing. And...she is the friend that says....I will call you right back in 10 minutes....and you never hear from her for several months....until she needs something.
This type of woman always has an excuse for her poor behavior...traffic, kids, relatives, car trouble, slow clerks at the store....etc. Sometimes...she does not even bother to give and excuse...what for? You learn over time to just ignore what she says...because her words have no value. She is someone that you don't trust or count on.
And then there is the other type of woman that is a woman of her word. When she says she will be there....she is there 10 minutes early. If she calls and says she will be at3:00 pm...she is there at 2:50 pm. If you ask her to bring a pie to the cookout ....she shows up with two. Bottom line...you can count on her...every time. Ladies....a woman of her word...keeps her promises and exceeds expectations. She says what she means and means what she says. She is trustworthy and relaible. She is someone that you value and respect.
Now ladies...ask herself...what type of woman are you?
Ladies..if you are a woman of your word....fantastic. If you are not....make a change and start being a woman that can be counted on by showing up and coming through on your promises. It all depends on...who you want to be.
Till Next Time Ladies
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Deal Breakers
Your Momma never told you that you will need to establish deal breakers in your relationship.
Ladies...there are certain behaviors that you must not tolerate when living in a exclusive committed relationship and/or marriage. When you get into a committed relationship and/or marriage, you must let your partner know your list of deal breakers in a very clear and consise way.
Deal breakers let your partner know what your boundaries are. By establishing deal breakers up front and early in the relationship, you are letting your partner know what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate...and when you will declare the deal of committment and marriage over.
Here is a standard deal breaker list that every woman should adhere to...
1. Sexual Intercourse with another person. If your man has engaged or is engaging in sexual intercourse outside of your relationship, you are in a dangerous situation both mentally and physically. This type of behavior is is dangerous because of the possible transmission of disease as you are or have been sleeping with a third person. In addition, it shows a severe lack of respect for you and your family. A marriage is between one woman and one man when someone else is introduced....the original marriage is over.
2. Addictions - Addictions of any kind can not be accepted in a marriage. Alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, etc. ...introduce another set of dangerous challenges to a marriage that you originally did not sign up for. Infidelity, financial instability, and violent behavior often occur when someone is experiencing an addicition. While there is nothing wrong with initiating getting helping for your man...this is a deal breaker because you and your family will be subjected to dangerous and destructive behavior.
3. Other Children Outside of the Marriage/Relationship - If at some point during your exclusive committed relationship, your man conceives a child with someone other than you, the relationship is no longer respectful or loving. In addiction, your man has continuously put you in physically and mentally dangerous situation. Ladies...do not tolerate this behavior or take it personally. This type of behavior is indicative of a man with a lack of character.
4. Any type of Abuse - Ladies learn and read about the different types of abuse...emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. It is important to understand the definition of each in order to identify abusive behaviors. Yelling, hitting, spitting, smashing things, lying, manipulating, undermining, instilling fear, keeping secrets, intimidating, witholding, gaslighting, crazy making...are just a few examples of behaviors that occur during abuse. Any form of abuse is a deal breaker.
Ladies, let your man know what your deal breakers are clearly. If this behavior occurs, be prepared to take action by breaking the deal of the committed relationship or marriage, and moving on. Do not compromise your morals, your health, or your values. Do not spend your life being disrespected, unloved, and mistreated.
Till Next Time Ladies
Ladies...there are certain behaviors that you must not tolerate when living in a exclusive committed relationship and/or marriage. When you get into a committed relationship and/or marriage, you must let your partner know your list of deal breakers in a very clear and consise way.
Deal breakers let your partner know what your boundaries are. By establishing deal breakers up front and early in the relationship, you are letting your partner know what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate...and when you will declare the deal of committment and marriage over.
Here is a standard deal breaker list that every woman should adhere to...
1. Sexual Intercourse with another person. If your man has engaged or is engaging in sexual intercourse outside of your relationship, you are in a dangerous situation both mentally and physically. This type of behavior is is dangerous because of the possible transmission of disease as you are or have been sleeping with a third person. In addition, it shows a severe lack of respect for you and your family. A marriage is between one woman and one man when someone else is introduced....the original marriage is over.
2. Addictions - Addictions of any kind can not be accepted in a marriage. Alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, etc. ...introduce another set of dangerous challenges to a marriage that you originally did not sign up for. Infidelity, financial instability, and violent behavior often occur when someone is experiencing an addicition. While there is nothing wrong with initiating getting helping for your man...this is a deal breaker because you and your family will be subjected to dangerous and destructive behavior.
3. Other Children Outside of the Marriage/Relationship - If at some point during your exclusive committed relationship, your man conceives a child with someone other than you, the relationship is no longer respectful or loving. In addiction, your man has continuously put you in physically and mentally dangerous situation. Ladies...do not tolerate this behavior or take it personally. This type of behavior is indicative of a man with a lack of character.
4. Any type of Abuse - Ladies learn and read about the different types of abuse...emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. It is important to understand the definition of each in order to identify abusive behaviors. Yelling, hitting, spitting, smashing things, lying, manipulating, undermining, instilling fear, keeping secrets, intimidating, witholding, gaslighting, crazy making...are just a few examples of behaviors that occur during abuse. Any form of abuse is a deal breaker.
Ladies, let your man know what your deal breakers are clearly. If this behavior occurs, be prepared to take action by breaking the deal of the committed relationship or marriage, and moving on. Do not compromise your morals, your health, or your values. Do not spend your life being disrespected, unloved, and mistreated.
Till Next Time Ladies
Friday, July 9, 2010
Nurture your Friendships
Your Momma never told you...friendships need to be nurtured over time.
Ladies...I just got back from a beautiful resort hotel in Atlantic City where I had a fantastic spa getaway with a girlfriend from college. We decided to just get a room for a night...spend time talking, getting treatments, laying by the pool, drinking cocktails, eating fine food, shopping, and catching up on old times.
It took a lot of planning and coordinating of kids,schedules,family, pre-planned vacations, and work...but we found a date and stuck to it. I can not tell you how I was looking forward to seeing her and hearing about what is going on in her world....while laying by the pool of course. We spent hours and hours just talking about life, our children, our past, our disappointments, our families, our successes, and hopes for the future. It was amazing....I learned so much from our conversations.
My point...ladies...if you want to keep your friendships intact....you have to be willing to put the work in to keep them going. No matter how long you have been friends with someone...it is important to make time to sit down and spend time with them. A text here or there...or an email here or there...does not cut it. You have to commit to getting together face to face in order to maintain and nurture a friendship. You never know how much you may need them...or how much they may need you.
Ladies...we get so busy in our lives with our children, homes, husbands, and families...that sometimes forget to show how much we value our frienships. We simply forget to nuture our friendships with our girlfriends. So ladies...get to work and start to make spa dates, movie dates, dinner dates...without the kids...without the husbands...and take time to be a true friend to a friend.
Till Next Time Ladies.....
Ladies...I just got back from a beautiful resort hotel in Atlantic City where I had a fantastic spa getaway with a girlfriend from college. We decided to just get a room for a night...spend time talking, getting treatments, laying by the pool, drinking cocktails, eating fine food, shopping, and catching up on old times.
It took a lot of planning and coordinating of kids,schedules,family, pre-planned vacations, and work...but we found a date and stuck to it. I can not tell you how I was looking forward to seeing her and hearing about what is going on in her world....while laying by the pool of course. We spent hours and hours just talking about life, our children, our past, our disappointments, our families, our successes, and hopes for the future. It was amazing....I learned so much from our conversations.
My point...ladies...if you want to keep your friendships intact....you have to be willing to put the work in to keep them going. No matter how long you have been friends with someone...it is important to make time to sit down and spend time with them. A text here or there...or an email here or there...does not cut it. You have to commit to getting together face to face in order to maintain and nurture a friendship. You never know how much you may need them...or how much they may need you.
Ladies...we get so busy in our lives with our children, homes, husbands, and families...that sometimes forget to show how much we value our frienships. We simply forget to nuture our friendships with our girlfriends. So ladies...get to work and start to make spa dates, movie dates, dinner dates...without the kids...without the husbands...and take time to be a true friend to a friend.
Till Next Time Ladies.....
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Don't Wing It In Bed
Ladies...your Momma never told you...don't wing it in bed.
Ok. Ladies...I am going to go there. When it comes to sex...two things...know what satisfies you and teach your man how to please you. Don't wing it in bed and hope for the best....chances are... he will get his...and you will still be waiting to get yours days, weeks, sometimes months later. And ladies don't ever fake it...don't let him think he is doing a great job when in fact you just have decided your tired and ready to go to sleep.
Ladies..get educated on new techniques and methods. Read, take online courses, study, and experiment (safely)...in order to know exactly what you like and how to experience intimate pleasure and fullfillment. Be sure to talk to your man and let him know what to do to please you. Don't hold back or be afraid you are hurting his feelings by telling him how to do something or how to get you excited. Every person is made differently and therefore a man will need to learn what you like and what you don't like in bed. Don't just lay there and go with whatever he decides to do and pretend to like it. You are doing you and him a disservice by not being honest.
Why is this important?...because ladies....you most likely will have sex over 30 - 50 years of your adult life. That's right ladies....years and years and years of sex with your husband or significant other. Over and over and over you will participate in having sex....so you better make it interesting and satisfying for you. If you are going to be participating in something for 30 or 40 or 50 years...don't you think you should know everything there is to know about it....and shouldn't your man know a thing or two. Thirty years is a long time to be clueless and dissatisfied with a partner that has not been educated by you on what to do.
Ask your man to join you in reading a book or two on the subject and take the time to try new things. One warning...if you approach your man with this subject and he gets overly freaky...you may need to back off. Make sure you set your boundaries. If you suggest to your man that the two of you start learning more about sex and trying new things...he may think that is a signal to invite a neighbor over to join or pull out a whip or chains. Be careful to let him know the goal is to bring the two of you closer and experience the joy of sharing each other physically for all the years to come....not to turn you into a porn star.
Till Next Time Ladies...
Ok. Ladies...I am going to go there. When it comes to sex...two things...know what satisfies you and teach your man how to please you. Don't wing it in bed and hope for the best....chances are... he will get his...and you will still be waiting to get yours days, weeks, sometimes months later. And ladies don't ever fake it...don't let him think he is doing a great job when in fact you just have decided your tired and ready to go to sleep.
Ladies..get educated on new techniques and methods. Read, take online courses, study, and experiment (safely)...in order to know exactly what you like and how to experience intimate pleasure and fullfillment. Be sure to talk to your man and let him know what to do to please you. Don't hold back or be afraid you are hurting his feelings by telling him how to do something or how to get you excited. Every person is made differently and therefore a man will need to learn what you like and what you don't like in bed. Don't just lay there and go with whatever he decides to do and pretend to like it. You are doing you and him a disservice by not being honest.
Why is this important?...because ladies....you most likely will have sex over 30 - 50 years of your adult life. That's right ladies....years and years and years of sex with your husband or significant other. Over and over and over you will participate in having sex....so you better make it interesting and satisfying for you. If you are going to be participating in something for 30 or 40 or 50 years...don't you think you should know everything there is to know about it....and shouldn't your man know a thing or two. Thirty years is a long time to be clueless and dissatisfied with a partner that has not been educated by you on what to do.
Ask your man to join you in reading a book or two on the subject and take the time to try new things. One warning...if you approach your man with this subject and he gets overly freaky...you may need to back off. Make sure you set your boundaries. If you suggest to your man that the two of you start learning more about sex and trying new things...he may think that is a signal to invite a neighbor over to join or pull out a whip or chains. Be careful to let him know the goal is to bring the two of you closer and experience the joy of sharing each other physically for all the years to come....not to turn you into a porn star.
Till Next Time Ladies...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Don't Accept Crumbs
Your Momma never told you...don't accept crumbs from your man.
Ladies...have you ever felt like you come in line after the job, the house, the kids, the dog, friends, parties, chores, and sports. Are you exhausted from trying to keep the house, the job, the kids, and your man in order? Do you look in the mirror and say...how the hell did I get here? Does your man look well rested and put together while you seem to be falling apart at the seams?
Ladies...wake up...you are accepting crumbs from your man. Why is your man just giving you crumbs and not a whole piece of bread? Sometimes it is his ambition, sometimes it is his laziness, sometimes he is simply unaware...but most times...it is because you have not required your man to give you all of his energy and time to you and the family. Most times, you have chosen to do way more than you physically and mentally can handle. You may have put your foot down once or twice...but eventually gave up hold him accountable....and you let him get away with not living up to his promises.
Most times, we women, do not want to admit...we really can not do it all and that we need help managing all of the tasks that go along with having a career, home, family, children, and a husband.
So what do we do ladies...how do we get our man to stop giving crumbs and start to give more. Ladies....we start asking and requiring.
I was having a discussion with a man I am seeing about potentially living together or getting married. When I brought up the subject of chores...he said..."Well I don't like getting down on my knees or scrubbing bathrooms..."...I stopped him right there and replied...."What makes you think I like it to clean other people's funk and dirt off of tubs...but it has to be done". He looked at me in complete confusion.
You see ladies...he is just like most men....they honestly think they can pick and choose what they want to do while you do what is required. NO! NO! Ladies...give them a wake up call. Make a list of everything that needs to be done each day...and ask him to do his fair share. Fair share is 50% or more ladies....it is not 10 or 25%....or what he wants to do. Once you get a committment...you must hold him accountable and remind him of his committment to help. You must not jump in, assist or do the chore because he will ultimately lose respect for you...and simply not take you seriously.
Ladies...don't accept crumbs...tell you man you need him...you need his help...that you can not do it all. Your man may surprise you.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Ladies...have you ever felt like you come in line after the job, the house, the kids, the dog, friends, parties, chores, and sports. Are you exhausted from trying to keep the house, the job, the kids, and your man in order? Do you look in the mirror and say...how the hell did I get here? Does your man look well rested and put together while you seem to be falling apart at the seams?
Ladies...wake up...you are accepting crumbs from your man. Why is your man just giving you crumbs and not a whole piece of bread? Sometimes it is his ambition, sometimes it is his laziness, sometimes he is simply unaware...but most times...it is because you have not required your man to give you all of his energy and time to you and the family. Most times, you have chosen to do way more than you physically and mentally can handle. You may have put your foot down once or twice...but eventually gave up hold him accountable....and you let him get away with not living up to his promises.
Most times, we women, do not want to admit...we really can not do it all and that we need help managing all of the tasks that go along with having a career, home, family, children, and a husband.
So what do we do ladies...how do we get our man to stop giving crumbs and start to give more. Ladies....we start asking and requiring.
I was having a discussion with a man I am seeing about potentially living together or getting married. When I brought up the subject of chores...he said..."Well I don't like getting down on my knees or scrubbing bathrooms..."...I stopped him right there and replied...."What makes you think I like it to clean other people's funk and dirt off of tubs...but it has to be done". He looked at me in complete confusion.
You see ladies...he is just like most men....they honestly think they can pick and choose what they want to do while you do what is required. NO! NO! Ladies...give them a wake up call. Make a list of everything that needs to be done each day...and ask him to do his fair share. Fair share is 50% or more ladies....it is not 10 or 25%....or what he wants to do. Once you get a committment...you must hold him accountable and remind him of his committment to help. You must not jump in, assist or do the chore because he will ultimately lose respect for you...and simply not take you seriously.
Ladies...don't accept crumbs...tell you man you need him...you need his help...that you can not do it all. Your man may surprise you.
Till Next Time Ladies....
Monday, July 5, 2010
Marry an L7
Your Momma never told you...date Mr. Fun but marry an L7.
I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about where we went wrong in chosing our first husbands. After a brief talk we concluded we should have chosen an L7 instead Mr. Fun.
That's right ladies...if you are dating a man who is so much fun...loves people and a lot of action....loves to be out and about...makes you laugh and is the life of the party....all the time....watch out. Why you may ask?
Because ladies...Mr. Party never stops partying...the party never ends...after the marriage...after kids....he is still partying. He is the guy that everyone knows when he arrives...the party had begun. Everybody loves him...and he is friendly to a fault. Who wouldn't want fun all the time, right? Wrong ladies. You do not want fun....all the time. All those laughs and good times...suddenly turn irrating and immature when the baby comes and bills are due. Dating a Mr. Fun is fine...but marriage...I don't thinks so....find an L7.
Ladies...what is an L7? Ladies make an L with your right hand and a seven with your left...put them together and it forms a square. An L7 is another term for a square.
Now an L7...stays home....he reads...he watches TV on the couch AT HOME...he goes to church...he goes to work and comes home for dinner...he has a few good close friends but your his closest friend. He goes to a party but is he isn't the party. He is kinda of shy until you get to know him. He is loyal and trustworthy. He is fun sometimes and he is boring sometimes...but that is ok....because ladies...you won't have to drag him out the titty bar at 1:00 am with your baby in tow. You won't have to wonder when he is coming home after work...if at all. You won't have to worry about him getting embarrassingly drunk and making an ass out of himself. You won't have to worry him turning up with a baby by someone other than you. And you won't have to deal with a bunch of his obnoxious friends both male and female...hanging around your house waiting for another party to begin. Get the picture...L7 is the one to marry.
That's right ladies...don't go for Mr. Fun because the fun won't go on forever. Ladies...find an L7...and live happily ever after in peace and quiet.
Till Next Time Ladies.
I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about where we went wrong in chosing our first husbands. After a brief talk we concluded we should have chosen an L7 instead Mr. Fun.
That's right ladies...if you are dating a man who is so much fun...loves people and a lot of action....loves to be out and about...makes you laugh and is the life of the party....all the time....watch out. Why you may ask?
Because ladies...Mr. Party never stops partying...the party never ends...after the marriage...after kids....he is still partying. He is the guy that everyone knows when he arrives...the party had begun. Everybody loves him...and he is friendly to a fault. Who wouldn't want fun all the time, right? Wrong ladies. You do not want fun....all the time. All those laughs and good times...suddenly turn irrating and immature when the baby comes and bills are due. Dating a Mr. Fun is fine...but marriage...I don't thinks so....find an L7.
Ladies...what is an L7? Ladies make an L with your right hand and a seven with your left...put them together and it forms a square. An L7 is another term for a square.
Now an L7...stays home....he reads...he watches TV on the couch AT HOME...he goes to church...he goes to work and comes home for dinner...he has a few good close friends but your his closest friend. He goes to a party but is he isn't the party. He is kinda of shy until you get to know him. He is loyal and trustworthy. He is fun sometimes and he is boring sometimes...but that is ok....because ladies...you won't have to drag him out the titty bar at 1:00 am with your baby in tow. You won't have to wonder when he is coming home after work...if at all. You won't have to worry about him getting embarrassingly drunk and making an ass out of himself. You won't have to worry him turning up with a baby by someone other than you. And you won't have to deal with a bunch of his obnoxious friends both male and female...hanging around your house waiting for another party to begin. Get the picture...L7 is the one to marry.
That's right ladies...don't go for Mr. Fun because the fun won't go on forever. Ladies...find an L7...and live happily ever after in peace and quiet.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Don't Tattoo Your Breasts - Repost
Your Momma did not tell you ...don't tattoo your breasts...or any other visible area of your body.
Ok Ladies...as a Blogger, I am all for freedom of expression...but my goodness, what on earth are two large colorful butterflies tattooed atop sagging breasts saying. When I saw this sight riding on the Circulator in DC all I could do was hope the butterflies would miraculously come to life and fly away.
A very small tattoo in a hidden area is a fun surprise for your mate to find but tattoos on you shoulders, arms, legs, or breasts have got to go. The fad is over or better yet...let's kill it. Unless your name is Bombshell or Skittles Valentine...don't get a permanent tattoo. Tattoos send a hidden message and it is not good.
If you have to have a tattoo....get a Henna Tattoo...it fades over a short period of time. The last thing you want is the snake tattoo you got in your twenties...to follow you into your forties, and beyond. A snake on an older woman is just not cute....Think ahead ladies!
I have seen paw prints, dragons, stars, moons, Chinese symbols tattooed on women in many different visible places...and I just don't get it. And don't wear low - rise jeans to show everyone you have a tattoo on your lower back or your ass...enough already! I don't want to see it ladies...and neither does anyone else. The worst is when I see a man's name tattoed on a woman...how ridiculous.
Ladies we live in America...people break up every other day. The chances of that man being around as long as that tattoo (David)is on your body is pretty slim to none. Why waste your money on a man's name as a tattoo when you could have a good pair of shoes or a Coach purse that will last much longer than a man?
If you want to put a name, put the name of someone you can count on...someone you can trust until you die...yours. (But make it small and not visible to strangers)
Til Next Time Ladies! 5/19/10 by Ms. Tia Delete
‹Newer 26 – 50 of 81 Older › Oldest »
Ok Ladies...as a Blogger, I am all for freedom of expression...but my goodness, what on earth are two large colorful butterflies tattooed atop sagging breasts saying. When I saw this sight riding on the Circulator in DC all I could do was hope the butterflies would miraculously come to life and fly away.
A very small tattoo in a hidden area is a fun surprise for your mate to find but tattoos on you shoulders, arms, legs, or breasts have got to go. The fad is over or better yet...let's kill it. Unless your name is Bombshell or Skittles Valentine...don't get a permanent tattoo. Tattoos send a hidden message and it is not good.
If you have to have a tattoo....get a Henna Tattoo...it fades over a short period of time. The last thing you want is the snake tattoo you got in your twenties...to follow you into your forties, and beyond. A snake on an older woman is just not cute....Think ahead ladies!
I have seen paw prints, dragons, stars, moons, Chinese symbols tattooed on women in many different visible places...and I just don't get it. And don't wear low - rise jeans to show everyone you have a tattoo on your lower back or your ass...enough already! I don't want to see it ladies...and neither does anyone else. The worst is when I see a man's name tattoed on a woman...how ridiculous.
Ladies we live in America...people break up every other day. The chances of that man being around as long as that tattoo (David)is on your body is pretty slim to none. Why waste your money on a man's name as a tattoo when you could have a good pair of shoes or a Coach purse that will last much longer than a man?
If you want to put a name, put the name of someone you can count on...someone you can trust until you die...yours. (But make it small and not visible to strangers)
Til Next Time Ladies! 5/19/10 by Ms. Tia Delete
‹Newer 26 – 50 of 81 Older › Oldest »
Friday, July 2, 2010
Butt Crack Rebellion
Your Momma never told you that one day you will have to lead a butt crack rebellion.
Ladies...I was riding home from a baseball game the other night with my boyfriend and his daughter. It was a lovely summer evening and we had a great time at the game. While sitting at the light, a motorcycle pulled up abruptly. There was a man and a woman sitting on the motorcyle with her arms around him....and then suddenly...we all saw a frightening nasty sight. The woman had on too small....low rise jeans....which exposed a large portion of her butt crack to all of Baltimore City. EWWWWWW! Everyone said in unison in the car...and all I could think was why are women exposing themselves like this. I began to roll down my window with frantic motions and my boyfriend stopped me. I told him...I have got to say something...he looked at me as if I were crazy and drove off as the light turned green. After all we were in Baltimore City at 1:00 am.
Ladies...what is going on here?! Since when is showing your butt crack acceptable. This woman bike rider should have just took her pants completely off and rode "bare back". The pants she had on had become completely useless. She was practically wearing her pants as socks.
Ladies...it was then I decided I am going to start a butt crack rebellion. I had initially said that you should not say anything to a stranger if her butt crack is showing but no more...this has got to stop. So if you see a woman showing her butt crack...and you feel safe...simply tap her on the shoulder and say..."Miss...did you know your butt crack is showing?"
Be polite and concerned...because ladies....I am convinced either these women do not know they are exposing the most hideous parts of their bodies or they are unaware showing your butt crack is socially unacceptable. Something is very wrong!
Ladies...help rid our culture of butt crack exposure...stand up for our rights to walk down a street and not be exposed to butt cracks.
Till next time ladies.
Ladies...I was riding home from a baseball game the other night with my boyfriend and his daughter. It was a lovely summer evening and we had a great time at the game. While sitting at the light, a motorcycle pulled up abruptly. There was a man and a woman sitting on the motorcyle with her arms around him....and then suddenly...we all saw a frightening nasty sight. The woman had on too small....low rise jeans....which exposed a large portion of her butt crack to all of Baltimore City. EWWWWWW! Everyone said in unison in the car...and all I could think was why are women exposing themselves like this. I began to roll down my window with frantic motions and my boyfriend stopped me. I told him...I have got to say something...he looked at me as if I were crazy and drove off as the light turned green. After all we were in Baltimore City at 1:00 am.
Ladies...what is going on here?! Since when is showing your butt crack acceptable. This woman bike rider should have just took her pants completely off and rode "bare back". The pants she had on had become completely useless. She was practically wearing her pants as socks.
Ladies...it was then I decided I am going to start a butt crack rebellion. I had initially said that you should not say anything to a stranger if her butt crack is showing but no more...this has got to stop. So if you see a woman showing her butt crack...and you feel safe...simply tap her on the shoulder and say..."Miss...did you know your butt crack is showing?"
Be polite and concerned...because ladies....I am convinced either these women do not know they are exposing the most hideous parts of their bodies or they are unaware showing your butt crack is socially unacceptable. Something is very wrong!
Ladies...help rid our culture of butt crack exposure...stand up for our rights to walk down a street and not be exposed to butt cracks.
Till next time ladies.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Soulmate Love Part 2
Your Momma never told you...you may meet a soulmate that settles you and brings you peace.
Ladies...we have talked about the type of soulmate love that stirs you up and sets you on fire. Now let's discuss the second type of soulmate. The second type of soulmate love occurs when you meet someone that settles you down.
When you meet this person, there may be fire and sparks but it is not an out of control feeling. You will have a unique connection with this person. This person will have characteristics that you don't have but ones that you will need to grow. This person will encourage you and sometimes partner with you to achieve your dreams. This person will have an insight into who you are and accept you fully...flaws and all.
Unlike the fiery soulmate that propels you into growth in a very short amount of time, this type of soulmate person will give you experiences that will help you mature and grow slowly...over a significant period of time. You will respect and honor this person's opinion...even if you don't like what they have to say. You will be able to tell this person your inner most personal thoughts and fears. This person will be your champion and your reality check. This soulmate is one you will remain connected to...until death.
If you are lucky, you will build a life and family with this person. You will establish long term goals and a mutual life vision with this person. This is the type of soulmate that you see holding your hand when you are sick...feeding you soup when you are too ill to lift a spoon...the type of soulmate that you could not imagine life without. If this person need you, you will drop everthing to be there.
Ladies...this type of soulmate is not necessarily a lover or a husband. This type of soulmate can be a close friend. A person you met in your early years of schooling or at a job.
Ladies...take a moment and determine if you have any soulmates in your life...a soulmate is such a blessing so treasure him or her every day....for all the days of your life.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Ladies...we have talked about the type of soulmate love that stirs you up and sets you on fire. Now let's discuss the second type of soulmate. The second type of soulmate love occurs when you meet someone that settles you down.
When you meet this person, there may be fire and sparks but it is not an out of control feeling. You will have a unique connection with this person. This person will have characteristics that you don't have but ones that you will need to grow. This person will encourage you and sometimes partner with you to achieve your dreams. This person will have an insight into who you are and accept you fully...flaws and all.
Unlike the fiery soulmate that propels you into growth in a very short amount of time, this type of soulmate person will give you experiences that will help you mature and grow slowly...over a significant period of time. You will respect and honor this person's opinion...even if you don't like what they have to say. You will be able to tell this person your inner most personal thoughts and fears. This person will be your champion and your reality check. This soulmate is one you will remain connected to...until death.
If you are lucky, you will build a life and family with this person. You will establish long term goals and a mutual life vision with this person. This is the type of soulmate that you see holding your hand when you are sick...feeding you soup when you are too ill to lift a spoon...the type of soulmate that you could not imagine life without. If this person need you, you will drop everthing to be there.
Ladies...this type of soulmate is not necessarily a lover or a husband. This type of soulmate can be a close friend. A person you met in your early years of schooling or at a job.
Ladies...take a moment and determine if you have any soulmates in your life...a soulmate is such a blessing so treasure him or her every day....for all the days of your life.
Till Next Time Ladies.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
